– – My mother used to eat pickled herring on New Year’s Eve, possibly thinking that if she did that, nothing worse would happen to her in the upcoming year.– -But whatever your tradition, may your 2011 be a healthy and happy year!
Archive for the ‘absurdities’ category
Happy, Happy!
January 1, 2011Warped and Wonderful!
December 4, 2010 
– – If you enjoy the unexpectedly weird, you might like Regular Show, an offbeat cartoon on The Cartoon Network about a blue jay called Mordecai and a hyperactive raccoon named Rigby who work as groundskeepers at a large park, spending much of their time and effort avoiding work and seeking to entertain themselves. They are essentially slacker-type twenty-somethings bossed by a living gumball machine who have a Yeti coworker.
In spite of these and other surreal characters, the Regular Show while bizarre is a kid’s animated series written for adults, and it works!
Dogged by Controversy!
November 24, 2010
– – No, they haven’t found the Dogman of Wisconsin…it’s just some Australian art turning heads and uniting playfulness with an edgy sexual content.
The exhibition titled “Returning to the Animal Within” is by Marc and Gillie Schattner of Sydney, and features 20 paintings and five sculptures of dog-headed humans at play and in repose. The sculpture pictured titled “Good Boy” shows that canine-human chimeras also enjoy a good cup of coffee, but its anatomical correctness resulted in police investigating an obscenity charge.
An upcoming sculpture depicts a dog-man in a suit stooping to pick up his own poop; a good example, and environmentally responsible!- -‘Mutt or smut?–You decide!
News and Weather You Can Bear…
November 12, 2010
– – Talk about guerilla theater! Earlier this month during a live newscast tracking the progress of Hurricane Ike that showed the wave-lashed beach off Galveston, Texas the on-site weatherman had to cope with the unexpected appearance behind him of…an anthropomorphic bear!
In a surreal moment worthy of the best of Trigger-Happy TV, the bear-costumed figure moved with grace and agility behind the weatherman, seemingly unconcerned about the rough seas and striking a pose or two for the viewing audience. The befuddled newscaster, his thunder utterly stolen, could think of nothing better to do other than to shift the camera to a view of a battered pier…all the while kinda pretending that the bear’s antics were not going on!
…caught by surprise by a furry, it was a moment to live for!
“Sharktopus” Arrives!
September 25, 2010
– – We all know that the government does terrible things behind our backs, like the calamitous Plum Island experiment that created yours truly.–Well, it would appear that the Navy has engineered a half-shark, half-octopus killing machine as a super-weapon which, of course, gets out of control as genetically-engineered creatures are prone to do…life would be so dreary if they didn’t!
The sharktopus shows a perverse predilection for beautiful blond women in bikinis, dragging them off boats, beaches, and bungee cords…gotta love the big lug! He also is not deterred by machine gun fire, otherwise the movie might be over quickly.
Coming from B-movie king Roger Corman and boasting a cheesy theme song, the absurd, low-budget made-for-tv movie Sharktopus may be a real hoot! –Witness the glory that is Syfy this Saturday night!
Ursine Unexpected!
September 22, 2010
– – A regular furry character appears, in all places, on The Cleveland Show, a spin-off of Family Guy. This character is Tim the Bear, who is a telemarketer working at the local cable company with Cleveland. Voiced by Seth MacFarlane, Tim speaks with a Slavic or Eastern-European accent, and is the son of a black bear and a kangaroo!
Tim tends to be a bit naive about American culture, and is partially a psychological derivative of Steve Martin’s Wild and Crazy Guy persona. Tim has an ursine wife, Arianna, and a son, Raymond. Tim has deep religious convictions, and considers it racist when someone screams because he is a bear. He often accidentally slashes things with his claws, something that he’s quite ashamed of.
While I’m not a great fan of The Cleveland Show, it’s nice to see the infiltration of furry characters here, who seem to fit in rather well as bears in human society…and yes, he has a Facebook page!
Do Woodchucks Chuck Wood?
September 16, 2010
– – Geico has brilliantly re-invented classic lines and slogans, beginning with the little piggy who cried wee-wee-wee all the way home, and now posing the question of, “Can Geico save you 15% or more on car insurance?–Do woodchucks chuck wood?”- Remember how kids love that old chestnut of a tongue-twister when they’re about ten?
Well, these anthropomorphic woodchucks certainly chuck wood, and they appear to have made an afternoon’s entertainment of it, taking turns heaving the wood into a pond accompanied by their own maniacal laughter, sorta like the Beavis and Butthead of the rodent world.- -Oops, watch out, here comes the farmer, and he’s mighty ticked, shouting “Hey you dang woodchucks, quit chucking my wood!” None too deterred by the farmer, the woodchucks continue chucking their wood…and do you blame them?– They’re woodchucks, for crying out loud, it’s what they do!
– -Catch this video airing on television or YouTube and elsewhere, sure to be a classic!
Not the Purr-fect Criminal!
August 28, 2010
– – I’ve confessed before to having a weakness for Catwoman, and can you really blame me? It turns out, however, that a real-life “Cat-Lady” was staging robberies of boutiques in Queens and Manhattan in New York City, wearing a variety of disguises that included…(dramatic pause)…a cheesy cat mask! Her wanted posters were unusual, to say the least…crank up the Bat-Signal, Commissioner Gordon!
The felonious feline’s daytime identity was that of a death-metal band singer, who performed under the stage name of Purgatory. Now her evil-doing days are over, and Gotham City is safe again!
This was, of course, a pale impersonation of the genuine article, whose whip this wanna-be is not worthy to carry…Meow!
…And A Little Pig Shall Lead Them!
August 15, 2010
– – Yes, that’s right…another post on the same topic, something without precedent in the annals of Foxsylvania! Some say that he’s cuter than the Geico gecko, but you can’t compare apples and oranges, and appearance is subjective, anyways! At any rate, Maxwell the Pig has taken on a life of his own, and appears at home both everywhere and nowhere, a surreal porker for the 21st century. Both lovable and annoying, he’s just being himself! With a literary tradition going back to the 1728 nursery rhyme (“The Nurse’s Song”), this little piggy is as old as the 18th century but as fresh as tomorrow!
Maxwell knows that life is too important a matter to be taken seriously. He has a childlike quality and exuberance that would brighten the psyches of the worst “namby pamby jackwagons.” The endless squealing is meaningless, yet somehow manages to say it all…that embracing life with a pinwheel in each hand while leaning out of the window and shrieking with delight is perhaps the best of all ways to handle it!
The name “Maxwell” is of English/Scottish/Welsh origins, and means “major well.” This well is one we all could benefit from drinking from…
Geico’s Little “Piggy!”
August 13, 2010
– – It’s a twisted world after all, and Geico has the perfect commercial to commemorate this fact; called “Piggy,” it puts a twist on the old nursery rhyme about the little piggy who cried “Wee! Wee! Wee! all the way home.”
Leaning out of a back window of an SUV, this little piggy does just that, much to the chagrin of an annoyed and weary mother and her son. He even holds two pinwheels out of the window as he does it! Not to worry, though…the piggy’s wearing his seatbelt! When this ultimate annoying rider makes it home, he declares “Oh, cool!,” and thanks his ride. Viewable on YouTube and many other sites, and well worth a look…
By the way, the pig’s name is “Maxwell,” and the long-suffering driver is “Mrs. A”…
FOXSYLVANIA 
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