Posted tagged ‘furry’

DirecTV Spot, “Attack of the Squirrels”

November 24, 2013

squirrels

– – Squirrels seems to have come into their own lately, appearing in more and more commercials. We’ve seen squirrels engage in kind of a sweat shop revolt in an earlier Sears commercial, and once again, the small rodents are combining in numbers to overwhelm and freak out hapless humans. Sure, they’re cute…but would you want large numbers of them hanging on you, as with this gentleman?

We are shown an adult man named”Dave” crossing a park who is converged upon by multiple squirrels, and verbally orders them to go away. The narrator tells us that the squirrels aren’t listening to Dave, and just don’t seem to care what he says. How very different this is than the DirecTV system, which can be verbally ordered to find kiddie movies, and is fully compliant. Meanwhile, poor Dave is left agitated and spinning about in the park with a myriad of squirrels hanging onto him in a scene reminiscent of the rat attacks from the movie, “Ben.” — The horror, the horror!

We are not shown the ultimate fate of Dave, and the squirrels aren’t talking, either. — What is their agenda? Vigilance is accordingly advised!

Meat Ponchos!

October 3, 2012

– – In another of the Degree Chain of Adventure commercials, three average guys are equipped with “meat ponchos” and then have a pack of wolves released upon them!  “Sweat is like tasty gravy to a hungry wolf,” explains survival expert Bear Grylls.- –Well, only one of the three meat poncho wearers is still standing alive and dry at the end of the commercial, and it should come as no surprise that he’s the guy wearing Degree deodorant!  

I think we’ve all learned something here today…and while I’m glad the wolves got some fresh food, wouldn’t wearing a meat poncho be disgusting, to say nothing of costly?–And wouldn’t Meat Ponchos be a great name for a punk mariachi band?!

Degree Commercial with Bear Grylls and Real Ursine

October 1, 2012

– – Bear Grylls is a British survival expert and adventurer who hosts the show Man vs. Wild on the Discovery Channel.  He also does a number of commercials for Degree deodorant, one of which shows us a poor subject pacing in a primitive “perpetual motion simulator,” which is really a large wheel set into motion by the movement of the guy walking inside it.  “Feelin’ fresh and dry!,” assures the hapless subject as he moves at a leisurely pace.  The deodorant’s protection is activated by movement, ‘ya see, so to kick things up a notch, the survival expert tosses the wheel walker a trout, and a bear is introduced in pursuit behind him!- –Now things are getting interesting!

Help me!,” screams the subject with the bear in hot pursuit.  “Keep running!” is the only advice he is offered by the survival expert who calmly walks away…

Hair Raising?

June 26, 2008

This is strange, and will probably be loved or hated.–Furry Hairstyles? I am attracted by the foxy one on the left, but would probably try to mate with her hair or run away with it <*blushes*>!  Just the kind of thing to sport at your next furry convention, or use to proclaim your identity to the world!

The Grassman Cometh…

June 24, 2008

Bigfoot is known by many names dependent on the region; Sasquatch, Yeti, even the Skunk Ape.  In Ohio, MonsterQuest reports that he is known as The Grassman. No, he isn’t a pot smoker, and he does show some variations from the usual Bigfoot traits, such as a habit of building “nests” on the forest floor.  These nests are crafted so well that two researchers trying to duplicate one could make only a pitiful simulation.  Other Bigfoot traits seem almost universally reported; e.g., the bad odor and the abundant hair.

I profess a weakness for the JackLinks “Messing With Sasquatch” commercial series in which Bigfoot is portrayed sympathetically as more sinned against than sinning, and gets his revenge on his tormentors!

Meaty Comments?

June 22, 2008

–Jessica Simpson recently sported a T-shirt proclaiming, “Real Girls Love Meat.” Since this is a high-class place, we will not take the obvious low road on this comment, that is, questioning whether Jessica is related to Homer Simpson (“D’oh!“).

PETA took umbrage to Jessica’s shirt…gee, I didn’t know we had any freakin’ umbrages left to take!  Anyhow, they responded with a list of five reasons Why Only Stupid Girls Brag About Eating Meat.

They don’t call it Hollywierd for no reason…

Furry Tattoos

June 18, 2008

left-arm-fox2–A fair number of folks have animal tattoos; even former Secretary of State George Shultz was reputed to have a tattoo of a tiger on his, err…behind. Statistically, about 18% of males have a tattoo. For those of us who are furry, a tattoo of one’s inner species has deeper, more profound significance. It is not only permanent jewelry, but an exterior manifestation of one’s inner self.

I have furry tattoos, and regret none of them. If you aspire to a furry tattoo, remember that it is permanent, unless you undergo expensive and painful laser removal. As with something permanent, consider whether you will still consider yourself furry in a few years; I’m furry for life, and hopefully thereafter!  Consider the location of your tattoo; upper arm tattoos, for example, can be hidden in most attire. By all means, have the tattoo done by someone who knows what they are doing, is a competent artist,  and has safe and sterile practices.  If you can’t afford to have a quality tattoo done now, save up and wait until you can!

That all being said, if you’re furry and you know it, then your hide can really show it!

Bad Stereotyping

June 10, 2008

The G4 network can be a mixed bag, with some good stuff and some less than exemplary; taste is subjective, of course.  But on a recent presentation called Wired Sex, a show was presented on fetishes available through the internet, and grouped furries rather broadly as one of them, in the same category as a rubber and latex fetish.  It was the worst, most biased portrayal of furry culture that I have seen since the notorious CSI episode.

The furry community is quite diverse, and I resent any portrayal of furry culture that paints us all with the same brush.  Stereotypes are at best misleading, and are often hurtful; they substitute for thought and objectivism.  For some, being furry admittedly can be a fetish, but we certainly are not all the same.

The show did make the valid point that the internet has drawn many of us together who previously were isolated, and given us a sense of community.  I hope that someday we simply will be accepted by the larger culture, just as we accept that culture and the many groups within it.

Cougar Shot Dead in Residential Chicago

April 16, 2008

— Was it poet Carl Sandburg who described the fog as creeping in on “little cat feet?”–How about cougar paws? A 150-pound cougar was shot dead by police in a residential neighborhood of Chicago’s North Side, ending a series of recent sightings reported in recent times. The cougar will be checked for tags and implanted chips which might reveal if the cougar was someone’s pet.

As reported in a recent Monster Quest episode, however, large predacious animals have recently been reported in areas assumed to be devoid of them…intrusions which will probably become increasingly common as the natural habitats and prey of those animals are whittled away by man…

Hawk Attacks Girl

April 6, 2008

— A red-tailed hawk attack an eighth grade girl on tour of Fenway Park in Boston on Thursday, drawing blood from the girl’s scalp and sending her to the hospital for treatment.  No other students in the girl’s group were attack.

The girl was within 40 feet of the hawk’s nest, which had a single egg in it…the nest and egg were moved following the attack.