Archive for the ‘movies’ category

“Cloverfield 2” is Coming!

February 6, 2023

Not everyone is a fan of the CloverVerse, but Cloverfield has been called the best Godzilla-type movie done by Hollywood. The original 2008 Cloverfield movie was commercially successful, although in my case it was an acquired taste due to the “found footage” format of the film as filmed by the shell-shocked, ground-level perspective of the young people who attempted to survive a monstrous attack.

10 Cloverfield Lane from 2016 was a different kind of offshoot of the franchise, anchored by the star power and acting of John Goodman, and set in the paranoid and claustrophobic setting of an isolated survivalist rather than in the big city. We did get to see some actual aliens in the closing segments of the film, and they were worth waiting for, having advanced technology and biomechanical ships…

Then there was 2018’s The Cloverfield Paradox, a muddled and confusing installment set on an orbiting space station where an international team of scientists attempted to solve Earth’s critical energy crisis using a particle accelerator but unintentionally opening a rift in space to an alternative dimension from which flowed monsters to our reality. Rifts in space…where would science fiction tales be without them?! This device however explains how Earth received the Cloverfield monster (code name, “Clover”) in the first place, and so is a necessary link in the CloverVerse. As the sole surviving scientist returns to Earth, the enormous monster is already here, and rears its hideous head into the heavens, roaring in the last moment of the film. The Cloverfield Paradox was relegated almost immediately to Netflix, and may largely be seen only there today…

There is little that is presently known about the next planned Cloverfield movie, other than that it intends to be a direct sequel to the 2008 original, and may pick up from where the creature, having thoroughly trashed New York, has survived a tactical nuke. Reportedly the “found footage” viewpoint of the original film will be abandoned, so the monster won’t be shown just in fleeting partial glimpses again. Rumors are rampant; we may see the whole of human civilization plagued by multiple monsters, or perhaps a new creature will be introduced to fight against the original. Kaiju type films have been known to do those kinds of things, and it should provide a fine spectacle in any case… RAWRRR! 🙀

( Watch the skies!!!)

Peter Pan: Neverland Nightmare

December 12, 2022

I’ve always felt that there’s been something a bit “off” about the character of Peter Pan. I mean, an ageless boy with elvish ears who can fly without wings, hangs out with “The Lost Boys” on an island called Neverland, and consorts with a fairy called Tinker Bell? Should we call the authorities now, or later?!

Well, the venerable 1911 children’s story by J.M. Barrie has now fallen into the public domain, and is going to get the same creative, horror-styled remake that Winnie the Pooh and Bambi have or will have coming to them. Peter Pan was always somewhat dark and sketchy, even in the original story. I mean, he practically kidnapped Wendy, and had broken into her house on a previous occasion in search of his shadow! Is that trippy, or what?! He almost killed the Darling children by forgetting to give them the pixie dust that conferred the powers of flight…

And don’t get me started on Tinker Bell! Sure, she looks innocent and cherubic, but she got jealous of the attention that Peter Pan was giving to Wendy, so much so that she might have done something. I think that Tink could be a real Prima Donna…

The Lost Boys are kinda interesting too, and very arguably furry. I mean, they are often depicted as in the image below, wearing fursuits, animal costumes to the uninitiated. Not great ones, to be sure, but fursuits nonetheless. According to the source material, the Lost Boys fell out of their prams while their Nannies were looking the other way in English places like Kensington Gardens. If unclaimed for a week, they were spirited off to Neverland to be with Peter Pan. There, they would fight with Peter Pan against pirates like Captain Hook. It was a good life, really, and you got to wear a fursuit. Pirates and a fursuit would have worked for me. Color me envious… *sighs* 🦊

So what can we expect out of the Neverland Nightmare as directed by Rhys Frake-Waterfield? It will be a very dark tale, like the Winnie the Pooh and upcoming Bambi adaptations. You know good ole Captain Hook, who supposedly lost a hand to a crocodile? Well, perhaps Peter Pan just might have cut that appendage off! I do so love “bedtime stories for children you hate… 🙀

So while this Neverland Nightmare might give us Peter Pan as a mini-psychopath, things could get really interesting in 2024, when the character of Mickey Mouse will supposedly fall into the public domain. We do live in interesting times, ‘ya know…. and now, I’m wondering if Peter Pan Peanut Butter contains pixie dust. Should we call the FDA? Eating peanut butter has always been a natural high for me, as well as a guilty pleasure. Perhaps unintentionally consuming pixie dust is why I write this blog. And does pixie dust contain actual pixies?- – Urg, gagg! 🦊

“Bambi: The Reckoning“ Is Coming!

December 7, 2022

I have to admit that I am not a great fan of hunting. Perhaps that’s because hunters consider those of my kind varmints, and perhaps it’s because I abhor seeing the spectacle of lifeless deer strapped to cars during hunting season in my state. We all know what hunters did to Bambi’s mother. And I say that payback time is hell…

I have a personal history with the Disney movie, Bambi. It was the first movie that my mother took me to. Think of it, I was five years old, and my own mother takes me to see a stag flick! Is it any wonder that I would grow up to be a furry? But enough of my childhood trauma. With a number of beloved childhood classics now falling into the public domain, they are now subject to revisionist treatment, and what’s coming out is either darkly hilarious or simply horrific, depending on your perspectives.

And so from the folks who brought you Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, we have upcoming Bambi: The Reckoning! Let the hooves fall where they may, I guess…

Forget the 1942 Disney film with its tale of loss, life, and love..this is an extremely dark retelling of the original 1928 story, with Bambi retooled as a vicious killing machine on rabies. Yes, I…CAN…DIG IT!!!

Now the source material of the Bambi character is a 1928 novel by Felix Salten innocently named Bambi, A Life in the Woods. The original story passed into the public domain in 2022, and so is fair game for a horror movie treatment. The 1942 Disney version is not. Film maker Scott Jeffrey will not be allowed to use any of Disney’s character design for Bambi, but is rather drawing inspiration from a Netflix production called, The Ritual. In it, we will see Bambi’s transformation into a revenge-driven nightmare following the slaughter of his mother by hunters. One can hardly blame the guy…

Production begins in January of 2023, so no trailers are currently available, and all we have is a hint of the new character design. I, for one, will cheer on the exploits of this Rambuck. So bust ‘em up, Bambi! Let the games begin… 🦊

One can hardly do better, however, than this SNL visitation of the same theme. Enjoy!

“The Mean One” Grinch Horror Parody…

December 2, 2022

If you’re tired of annually getting Xmas drummed into you from late October through New Year’s, you just might be in the right mood to appreciate The Mean One, a parody of Dr. Seuss’ How The Grinch Stole Xmas. Tag line: “First he stole Xmas…now he’s back for BLOOD!”

Forget the Grinch being redeemed, this is the Dark Grinch, or as Stephen King might say it, “Full dark, no stars.” This is Krampus as opposed to St. Nicholas, the Grinch as horror movie Xmas slasher.

Forget Scrooge, who got all soft and wimped out on us. This Grinch means business. It seems that he killed little Cindy Lou-Hoo’s mother during the daughter’s encounter with him, and now twenty years later, she’s back like Sarah Conner after the Terminator with an accompanying skill set..

The Grinch always did seem to have horror star potential, but hey, as Kermit the Frog famously noted, “It isn’t easy being green.” There are leavening notes of dark humor in the premise and available trailer footage, because after all this is a parody and satirical in nature. Memorable lines by Cindy Lou-Hoo; “It’s time to roast this beast!,” and “You’re a dead one, Mr. Grinch!”

Just color me green with envy for this dark Grinch, with battle scenes against Santa figures reminiscent of Shapeshifters Anonymous! Cindy’s weaponry includes an illuminated Walking Dead “Negan-esque” bat, and some kind of wonderful candy cane shotgun. So let’s all go on a slay-ride, everyone! 🦊

“The Warriors;” “Can…You…Dig It?!”

November 2, 2022

In my twisted little mind, I got Halloween, current sporting events, and the 1979 cult movie “The Warriors” all mixed up, and began thinking, wouldn’t it be interesting if The World Series was played by teams like the film’s The Baseball Furies? The game would never go nine innings, however, as the teams would just pound each other senseless with baseball bats. It wouldn’t last long, but you’d get your afternoon or evening back…

Now why, you might ask, are we posting about a movie that’s over 40 years old? Simply because the movie remains a kick after all those years, and there’s nothing else quite like it. Besides, it’s fun, and the characters depicted in the movie are too cartoonish to be menacing. Even Ronald Reagan was reputed to have enjoyed this film!

Originally criticized as promoting gang violence, the gangs depicted are too cartoonish to be taken seriously, each with a distinctive look that essentially includes a gang uniform. Have you ever seen a roller-skating gang that wears bib overalls? Well, they’re in here, haunting the subways as “The Punks.”

While there was never a sequel to The Warriors, the film did inspire some video games and comics. So the Warriors did come out to “play-yay.”

So many iconic scenes in The Warriors epic battles to traverse the distance between The Bronx and Coney Island! But it’s probably good that a sequel wasn’t made. The original cast in recreating their subway ride had all grown rather long in the tooth, and I thank them for putting on shirts under their vests now. But I also thank them for this “guilty pleasure”movie fave of mine. So yes, “I…can…DIG IT!” And I’m still digging The Warriors… 🦊

“The Munsters;” Brittle Bones?

October 2, 2022

With October and spooky season here, it’s great to get into a Halloween-related post or two. I have to admit, however, that I was never a great fan of the 1960’s TV sitcom The Munsters, far preferring The Addams Family, which not only survived but thrived in its transition to movies, and brought us Wednesday Addams as a breakout character.

Now Rob Zombie absolutely loved The Munsters, and his film is a labor of love to them, described as a prequel that brings the characters of Herman and Lily together. Herman, a Frankenstein monster clone, is sewn together from body parts that include those of a bad comedian. Lily, a vampire, becomes romantically involved with the big guy much to the dismay of her vampiric father. This all becomes tiresome rather quickly, and the film is criticized as being overly-long and thin on plot.

Endeavoring to make a family-friendly horror movie is a difficult mission, and it tends to ultimately become more irksome than successful. The genres are not readily compatible, and the bright colors used in much of the film are hardly gothic. Filmmaker Rob Zombie is best known for far gorier cinematic fare, and he is rather out of his element here, even if he does love The Munsters. The characters here are all fish out of water, masquerading as everyday citizens whereas they are in reality stock-monster types. This plays better as a brief TV sitcom than it does as an extended movie where it gets wearisome.

From a furry perspective, I do like Lilly’s brother, Lester the Werewolf, portrayed here as an entrepreneurial werewolf who confidently makes really bad business decisions. Lester’s recessive genes are why Eddie Munster is a werewolf rather than a vampire or Frankenstein clone…

At any rate, diehard loyalists may find The Munsters a treat, whereas to many of us the movie is a pointless ordeal. Sometimes, dead television should be allowed to rest in peace…

“Lamb” is haunting…

June 17, 2022

You probably won’t see many Icelandic folk-horror/fantasy films in your day, and Lamb is one of them. From the A24 studio that gave us such films as Hereditary, their latest film crosses genres, confounds us, and almost defies description. I had earlier posted on Lamb as a unique film that was coming prior to being able to view it, and now having seen the flick, I can confirm that Lamb is extraordinary, even though it is likely to mess with your head. The best films often do…

So submitted for your approval is the strange tale of Ingvar and Maria, two childless sheep ranchers living in a remote part of Iceland who one night come upon the birth of a mutation in their livestock, a lamb with humanoid features. They basically take the newborn into their house, place it into a crib in their bedroom, and raise it as their own, a sweet child with an ovine head but scattered human features which despite being a hybrid adapts well to life in the isolated world with human foster parents. This is comical but touching at the same time, and her “parents” are quite happy with their non-traditional family…

Now as a furry, I can probably transition to the world of anthropomorphic animals and animal-human hybrids more easily than most people outside of the fandom. I’m totally cool with the notion of folks raising something that is neither fully animal nor human, and in fact I am envious of them! You can dress such a creature in human clothing, treat it as a loved member of family, and even take them places with you, messing with mundane people as you do so. – -What could be better than that?!

What usually happens, however, is that other people won’t understand, will judge and condemn you, and in some fashion come after you as one harboring an abomination. I rather expected a mob armed with torches and pitchforks to come calling, and demand that this lamb be surrendered to them. Fortunately, this does not happen although there are a few tense moments when we are led to believe that Ada’s “uncle” is leading her off to shotgun her. This too doesn’t happen, and “Uncle Petur” becomes a convert…

Now Ada the lamb-child is revealed to us gradually as a hybrid, having one human hand and a hoof. She uses bipedal locomotion, and is about the size of a four-year-old. She cannot speak, but understands and responds to human language. Ada plays with her human mother, and is very sweet! I’ve seen human brats behave far less lovably…

But unfortunately, the story doesn’t end well but in violence against a target we didn’t expect when Ada’s biological father comes calling, also anthropomorphic and true nightmare fuel. Talk about Ram Tough! When you mess with nature, there are consequences, it would seem. This points to the need to keep firearms out of the hands and hooves of beasts.- – Are you listening, Congress?!

At any rate, Lamb may leave you scratching your head, wondering what you have just seen, and perhaps questioning the lines of separation between humans and animals, as well as questioning our relationship with the natural world. And that’s a good thing, really….so two paws up for Lamb, which now can be seen on some premium networks... 🦊

Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey

May 27, 2022

Say it ain’t so…Winnie the Pooh as a serial killer?! Yes, it is so in an upcoming horror movie. Winnie the Pooh and Piglet too have gone feral, abandoned by college-bound Christopher Robin and basically starving. It’s not exactly the beloved A.A. Milne characters from the original 1926 story here, nor their Disney versions. Nope, the boys have gone rogue, reverting to their wild roots and becoming seriously creepy. Piglet even sports tusks, and is clad in black…

In a scene which to me seems reminiscent of Steven King’s Christine, Pooh-bear is driving an ominous-looking vehicle. Just don’t bother looking for Eeyore the donkey, although you’ll see his tombstone. The boys have already killed and eaten him…

With the Winnie the Pooh tale now in the public domain, liberties may be taken with the classic story, although the film strives not to run afoul of Disney copyrights by omitting certain characters like Tigger, and changing the clothing styles of others. Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey is not a big budget horror movie, and was supposedly shot in just ten days.

So be afraid, be very afraid of Pooh and Piglet sneaking up on you in your bath. In this horror comedy, you might not even recognize them anymore.- – Aieee! 🙀

Zoe Kravitz as “Catwoman…”

May 6, 2022

I have to say that I was not overly taken by the new “ The Batman” movie. The film was long, dark, and gritty, about as far removed from previous comic-inspired interpretations as it could be. Neither Robert Pattinson’s Batman nor Paul Dino’s Riddler were as I conceived of them to be, especially with the Riddler portrayed as a creepy serial killer. I rather liked Colin Farrell’s Penguin, although we didn’t get to see enough of him in the film…

Zoe Kravitz’s Catwoman, however, worked, as did her chemistry with Batman. This Catwoman is lithe and feline without excessive costuming, and brings a convincing kinetic grace to the role. She’s very much at home on a motorcycle, and while Batman can counter her in physical tussles, she’s more than a match for anyone else. There are layers to this Catwoman including bisexuality, and she’s neither an obvious villainess nor heroic, but rather somewhere in between in the process of becoming herself.- – I like that!

It pains me to read that Zoe Kravitz was apparently denied even an audition for the Catwoman role in a previous Batman film, and told that she was “too urban.” She actually makes the character three-dimensional, with noble intentions and sympathetic motivations, and a story arc is established for the character that can continue. It’s kind of an origins story for Catwoman here, with the character basically Selina Kyle in a mask. That’s really how it should be done…. 🦊

“King Shark” Rules!

February 3, 2022

In the depths of winter and the continuing pandemic, we could all use a little King Shark right now! Anthropomorphic sharks are a rare breed indeed, and this one is a metahuman criminal denizen of DC’s extended universe, a villain who somehow manages to be cute and even likable despite a taste for human flesh…

The son of a “King of All Sharks,” King Shark (real name Nanaue) is a demigod who is voiced to perfection by Sylvester Stallone in the Suicide Squad 2 movie. Stallone’s mumbling, monotone delivery suits the man-shark character well. Although quite deadly and almost indestructible, King Shark (shown above reading a book in prison upside down) is child-like and dull-witted, speaking in short, simple phrases. Just point him in the right direction, and then get out of his way!

You would want to be King Shark’s friend, because if you were not, you’d be nom nom, namely something good to eat. King Shark doesn’t eat his friends, although almost anything else organic would be considered fair game. He may be seen chewing happily on a human head and other body parts of those opposing him in the movie…

So catch King Shark as memorably created in the Suicide Squad movie. And when he celebrates Shark Week, you’d better party along…. 🦊


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