Great-Grandmother vs. 12-Foot ‘Gator…

Posted September 19, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal occurrences, animals, scalies

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Here at Foxsylvania, we applaud and appreciate strong women, and feel that they are an awakening giant in America’s near political future. As a case in point, we bring you Judy Cochran, the mayor of Livingston, Texas who is also a great-grandmother.

Well, about three years ago, a miniature horse of her’s went missing, and its remains were never found. A large alligator was suspected, with multiple gators having been found on her property, which includes several miles of riverfront. Revenge is a dish best served cold, and a 12-foot, 580-pound alligator was recently legally shot and killed in a pond with one round by the mayor, who plans on eating the meat and making the hide into boots. Her grandson shot an even larger gator several years ago…

…I plan on staying on the right side of the mayor, and hope that she doesn’t see me as a varmint should I venture into Texas…

Mummified Corpse Housing Wildlife…

Posted September 12, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: bizarre, Cabinet of Curiosities, environmental, events involving animals, strange

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Gentle readers, the following post falls into the category of morbidly fascinating grossness.  It may accordingly not be suitable for the young, the overly-sensitive, or those who are eating.  Please consider yourselves duly warned…

…now that I’ve peaked your interest, welcome to Vulpes’ Cabinet of Curiosities, ahahahaha!  As the eerie harpsichord music begins to play, let’s stroll to where a mummified human corpse was found hanging from a tree in a forest in southwestern Poland.  Said corpse was of the seasoned, vintage variety, with the deceased estimated to have been, well, hanging around for approximately 13 years.  The body was fairly intact due to its suspended elevation and the relative absence of scavengers there, plus the fact that it was clad in two pairs of trousers, which kind of held things together. 

Now in the thirteen years that our fellow had been kept hanging, his body had become home to bees, wasps, and even a squirrel! First discovered in 2016 and reported last month in the journal Forensic Science International, researchers said the discovery illustrates the “unbridled resourcefulness of wildlife,” namely that such creatures exploit even the most unlikely spaces to thrive.  “Human bodies, if they meet the requirements of organisms, can be a home for them,” noted study author Marcin Kadej from the Institute of Environmental Biology, University of Wroclaw, Poland, in a statement.

All of this begs the question, would you want your body to hang from the trees and be a home for the bees? – – No, I wouldn’t either…but join us for our next creepy crawl into the Cabinet of Curiosities, if you dare…

The Grim Reaper of Home Appliances…

Posted September 8, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, bizarre, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, horror, humor, strange, television

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I, for one, fear the Grim Reaper of home appliances. My grief was great when he came for my hot water heater, leaving me $800 in the hole for plumber bills and heater replacement. Death, there is thy sting, right in the wallet!  Oh, the suffering budget, the anguish, the gnashing of teeth!  It was not a pretty sight…

…and so I can appreciate the trials of the poor woman in the American Home Shield commercial who answers her door to find the Grim Reaper paying a call, the icon hovering complete in smoldering black cowl.  As the dreaded black specter advances, our housewife understandably freaks out.  “No, it can’t be!  I’m not ready!  I do spin class!,” she protests, sinking to her knees in supplication.  But the Reaper advances further, his bony finger extending to indicate that his target is not the woman herself, but rather her large stainless steel refrigerator/freezer!  Now understanding, the woman protests “What? The refrigerator! – – Oh come on!  Do you know how much it cost me?  You’re killing me!”  Then the lady decides to rephrase her unfortunate choice of words, but death is implacable.  As the refrigerator shakes in his otherworldly powers, the announcer tells us how all of our appliances will eventually die, but their plan will see to their replacement.  For good measure, the Reaper decides to take out our hapless lady’s home central air system too.  It was a full day’s harvesting, apparently…

When the Reaper comes for me, I’m going to say “Oh happy day!”  No wait…that’s what I’m going to tell the aliens…

 

Giant Purple Blobs Invading SF Bay!

Posted September 7, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: aquatic, Invertebrates, noteworthy, strange

Tags: ,

Vintage science fiction movies cautioned us to “Watch the skies!,” but perhaps they better could have advised us to watch the seas, because you never know what’s gonna wash up.  Submitted for your approval is one such example, a large purple blob of the type that has washed ashore along California, even in San Francisco Bay.  

Sadly it’s not alien, but is only a harmless sea slug, measuring up to 30 inches long and weighing up to fifteen pounds, although most are about the size of a fist. Still living stranded specimens can even pulsate a bit, which led one observer to call 911, thinking that they had found a human heart.  They do have an internal organ-like quality to them.  Normally found off the Mexican coast and the Baja California coast, the large purple slugs are also called sea hares, because their extended antennae are thought to resemble rabbit ears.  They’re just not as cuddly and pet-worthy, but I’m showing a mammalian bias here…

…and isn’t Invasion of the Giant Purple Sea Hares a SyFy Channel movie that begs to be made?!

Enormous Sea Turtle Washes Up In UK…

Posted August 27, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: animal occurrences, aquatic, rare animal

Tags: ,

Continuing our series on disgusting dead things washing up on beaches, we present you with this image of a large leatherback turtle that washed up off the shore of Cornwall, England.  I’ve spared viewers a more graphic view taken frontally in light of the, err, decomposition. The sea turtle was said to be the size of a small boat, and was estimated to be perhaps 100 years old in light of its size.  

One might well ask, “What happens to large sea creatures when they die?”  Well, many of them sink to the depths where they provide a banquet for a variety of sea life both large and small; nature wastes nothing. Gases of decomposition can provide buoyancy to other deceased sea creatures, however, depositing some on our beaches.  

Now the tabloids might spin the story differently, something along the lines of “Zombie Sea Turtle Attacks Britain!”  I don’t think that it was Gamera.  I doubt that the rather classy gent in the picture poked the poor deceased turtle with a stick, although he is wearing striking if sensible blue rubber gloves, all the while demonstrating that older guys can still look good in shorts.  And the elemental landscape and brooding sky makes for a memorable picture…ahh, to be in England!

Sea Creature Washes Up On Russian Beach!

Posted August 17, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anomalies, aquatic, bizarre, creature features, furry, strange, unidentified

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We always get terribly excited here at Foxsylvania when any kind of globster washes up on any beach, anywhere. Set up some food stands and a good band, and you’ve really got something to break up the summer doldrums!



…the “sea monster” in question is described as being smelly and hairy, and at least three times the size of an average human. It washed up on the shore of the Bering Sea on the Pacific side of the Kamchatka Peninsula; from Russia with Love, Darlink! Although the unidentified thing appears to be from an animal with gray and white coloring, it lacks a defined head or other body parts other than a possible tail or tentacle. The creature is covered with tubular hair, which is hollow and similar to that found on a polar bear.

Some have speculated that the carcass could be the remains of a wooly mammoth that had washed up as glaciers thawed, while others suggest that it could be from an octopus or giant squid. The most likely theory, however, is that the carcass is indeed a globster, a term coined in 1962 to describe something that is not a complete animal, but rather the decaying parts of sea animals such as whales or sharks. Under the influence of time, the sea, and post-mortem predation, the remains of large sea animals often take on bizarre and unrecognizable forms.

So if you visit a beach and come upon a globster, resist the temptation to make a sandwich. It wouldn’t be good for you…

Mysterious Creature Stalks Canadian Moose?

Posted August 5, 2018 by vulpesffb
Categories: anomalies, creature features, cryptozoology, furry, speculation, strange happenings, unexplained

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Here we go again…another sighting of an alleged unknown creature, this one supposedly stalking a moose!  The encounter occurred July 29th in Gaspesie in the Quebec area of Canada.  As usual, only a blurry, indistinct, out-of-focus image of the creature (circled) is available for perusal.  It is said to resemble Tolkien’s Gollum or perhaps the Rake.  The thing spotted was said to have moved in an inhuman fashion, shaped like a hunched-over demon and about six feet in height.

Skeptics say that the thing was most likely a splat on the window of the vehicle from which the picture was taken, and it simply appears superimposed from there by the treeline.  It is not known if the moose suffered any ill fate from the encounter.  I for one would be more excited if the moose had appeared accompanied by a flying squirrel named Rocky who wore aviator goggles…