“The Masked Singer,” Back for Season 4!

Posted September 14, 2020 by vulpesffb
Categories: alternative realities, animal presence, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, creature features, fantasy, feathered friends, furries, furry, furry television, fursuits, imaginary animals, television, twisted reality

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People tend to either love or hate The Masked Singer on Fox, and we were provided a preview of the upcoming season’s costumes recently.  Shown above are Baby Alien, Serpent, and Seahorse.  Additionally the animal kingdom will be represented by Giraffe, Jellyfish, Crocodile, and fictitiously Dragon.  The show itself for those unfamiliar with it is kind of a singing competition run through a furry convention, a unique type of cheerful and inspired insanity.

There are a number of “firsts” represented among this season’s contestants.  At eight feet tall, Giraffe is the tallest costume ever, and is attired in a style reminiscent of French aristocracy.  Baby Alien is the first costume to be fronted by a puppet, Serpent’s costume has animatronic features, and the Snowy Owls (below) represent the first double-headed costume.

 

So you may want to drop in on The Masked Singer, Season 4 which will debut on September 23rd…

Fishy Business…

Posted September 11, 2020 by vulpesffb
Categories: alternative realities, anomalies, aquatic, fantasy, sci fi, television, twisted reality

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Chace Crawford portrays an Aquaman-type character called The Deep on the Amazon Prime series The Boys, and the character has body image issues because he has, well, gills.  I’m not talking about discrete gill slits either of the type that we’ve seen on Kevin Costner in Waterworld on the neck, but rather large, gaping chest apertures that open and close.  More disturbingly, the character seems to enjoy having those gill slits shall we say, erotically stimulated?  Still more bizarre was a drug-induced episode where the character engaged in dialogue with his talking gill slits, and even sang a duet with them to the tune of, “You Are So Beautiful.” This was pretty trippy stuff, capable of wowing even my jaded sensitivities!

Crawford wears the sea suit well, and is one sexy if emotionally conflicted superhero.  It isn’t easy, after all, to be looked down upon as the token aquatic hero who talks to sea life.  In exploring the character of such a hero, we can only think of how far such characters have come from the web-fingered portrayal of one such being by Patrick Duffy in The Man from Atlantis.- –Who could blame such guys for occasionally being crabby?  I mean, they aren’t doing it on porpoise…

 

 

“The Boys”is Compelling Viewing…

Posted September 9, 2020 by vulpesffb
Categories: alternative realities, fantasy, superheroes, television

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If you’re a fan of alternative realities where superheroes are real, and are suffering from Watchmen withdrawal, I commend The Boys to you.  Based on a comic series, The Boys is currently airing in its second season on Amazon Prime, and has already been renewed for a third.  

A word of warning; despite its title, The Boys is not for kids!  It’s extremely violent, bloody, and laced with both sexual content and foul/obscene language.  Having said that, the series is complex in its plotting, and well-written with layers of meaning.  The acting is engaging and superb, creating three-dimensional characters that might otherwise be cartoonish.  

In a world where both major and minor-powered individuals exist among ordinary people and are treated as idolized celebrities, The Seven are A-list players, portrayed heroically by the mega-corporation that actually owns and merchandises them.  Their leader is The Homelander, a handsome and magnetic guy with awesome Superman-type powers who is extremely nationalistic and wears the red, white, and blue. This is an evil superman, however. Although adored by many, Homelander is actually arrogant, egotistical, unstable, sadistic, and really cares nothing for the people that he is supposed to serve and protect…sound like anyone familiar?  Then there’s The Deep, an Aquaman-type character who is looked down upon by the other members of The Seven as the token aquatic hero who talks to sea life and has gills.  We also have A-Train, a Flash-type speedster who collides with an ordinary woman in Season 1, shredding her and leaving only her arms intact…

These mostly corrupt superheroes are shadowed and monitored by a vigilante group, the titular Boys of the series title.  Led by a former CIA operative, they engage in a secretive uphill counter-operation that is occasionally successful against the superheroes gone rogue.  Speaking to such contemporary issues as the corruption of the powerful, this edgy superhero satire is intended by Amazon to expand its base of appeal to the weirdo demographic, of which I am proudly a part.  If you suspect that you may be too, you might want to catch The Boys on Amazon Prime, if you’ve got the stomach for it.  The real world is giving the writers a lot of material right now…

 

 

 

Frank’s RedHot TV commercial, “Every Food…”

Posted September 8, 2020 by vulpesffb
Categories: advertising, aliens, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, creature features, furry, sci fi, television, twisted reality

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Even in the bizarre and unforgettable year of 2020, this Frank’s RedHot commercial stands out.  The announcer’s voiceover kicks the ad off, proclaiming how he “puts that s#!t on everything.” What follows are some of the qualifying items, like pizza, a co-worker’s lunch, and “whatever this is.”  We are then shown a woman (above) about to put the sauce on some kind of tentacled thing, which commendably is still alive, and fighting back in a spirited fashion with cutlery!  This would appear to be one die-hard dinner, which unfortunately the woman appears ultimately able to jab her fork into.  Poor, valiant octopus-like thing!–Hath not a cephalopod eyes?!

The brief commercial continues to say that Frank’s RedHot may be put on “astronaut food,” and we are shown an astronaut floating in an encapsulated zero-g environment, his leg and body enveloped by the flexible tentacle of his multi-limbed alien captor floating right next to him, who questions whether the sauce may be put on astronauts.  “Everything!,” reassures the announcer, to which the alien succinctly replies, “Yum!”

So there you have it…serving and being served, eating and being eaten, just part of the food chain.  And don’t forget Frank’s RedHot sauce, which is the “perfect blend of flavor and heat.”  You can “put that s#!t on everything.”  Bon appetit, y’all…

 

   

 

InnovAsian’s “Rough Start” Commercial…

Posted September 1, 2020 by vulpesffb
Categories: advertising, animals, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television

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Forget your genial Ray Romano-voiced “Window Bear” commercial, where a very articulate and well-mannered bear appears outside of a woman’s kitchen, although I’d far rather deal with him!  The bear in our InnovAsian Cuisine commercial is not anthropomorphic but realistic, he’s big and hungry, and he’s frustrated that he’s on the outside of your window glass while you sit within your deluxe RV, about to eat the food that he wants!

The woman, her husband, and daughter all have painfully forced smiles on, which is understandable since this bear, a grizzly kodiak, is literally rocking the camper while he bellows throaty growls.  “Rough start to your family vacation?,” voices the announcer, “That’s an InnovAsian occasion!”  While only a quarter of a minute long, the commercial is a finely-tuned gem, and the bear is an animatronic marvel, stunningly realistic.

The one-of-a-kind Kody is not computer-generated, but requires three people to bring him to life; a puppeteer to remotely handle expressions of the animatronic head, a performer within the 8’4″ tall suit, and a dresser.  The suit is heavy, uncomfortable, and noisy due to all of the servos running within it.  The end result of their joint efforts is uncanny, and comes from an animal suit specialist in Vancouver.– –Two paws up to them!

 


– – “Hah,” muses Kody, “Foolish humans!  My Kung Fu is the best!”  

“Serpentine Creatures” on MonsterQuest…

Posted August 31, 2020 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anomalies, aquatic, controversial, cryptozoology, encounters, scalies, television, unexplained, unidentified

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MonsterQuest was a show largely about cryptic creatures that debuted in October of 2007 and ran for three seasons before vanishing and being replaced by a series of inferior imitations.  The series was far better grounded than most, incorporating history of the supposed hidden life form under investigation, eyewitness accounts, and even commentary by actual scientists! 

I’m pleased to see that MonsterQuest is back for a fourth season on the History Channel as a series of specials, the first of which aired recently and concerned “Serpentine Creatures” or “Lake Demons,” essentially oversized, monster eels in North American lakes. 

In Lake Ontario in 1974, an eel fisherman was reportedly lifted out of the water by an eel that he could barely escape.  “Cressie” is said to exist in New Foundland, reportedly measuring 20 to 40 feet in length.  Then there’s the gold standard of North American lake monsters, Ogopogo, said to measure up to a whopping 50′ in length and to inhabit Lake Okanagan in Canada!  Ogopogo is said to have a snake-like body displayed in coils, and about seven sightings a year are reported by diverse people.

Pursuing Cressie, the MonsterQuest investigative team engineered a search that combined a helicopter team with a dive boat.  The helicopter crew spotted a thermal signature from the air, summoning then the dive boat to do a search.  The divers found sink holes in the lake, but encountered considerable silt obstruction.  They found a carcass that was hoped might be a juvenile specimen, but later scientific testing proved it to be nothing more than a deteriorated salmon…

While the tone of the episode was reminiscent of the old MonsterQuest series, it really wasn’t exciting to me personally, dragging at times to the point of becoming almost tedious. Giant eels really don’t float my boat, although they might if they were actually under it!  Hopefully episode 2 concerning Bigfoot will interject a little of the old series excitement…

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Soon, “Cheetah” Will be Unleashed!

Posted August 24, 2020 by vulpesffb
Categories: anthropomorphic, furry, movies

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Well, we’re all agog here in our little furry corner of the web called Foxsylvania about the latest trailer revealing more about the appearance of Barbara Ann Minerva (aka “Cheetah”) in the upcoming Wonder Woman 1984 film.  The Coronavirus screwed with the original intended release date as it did with many other good things, which has now been kicked back to October 2nd, 2020.  Good things can be worth waiting for, however, and it doesn’t look like we’ll be disappointed by the cinematic appearance of this bad girl furry, portrayed by Kristen Wiig.

While we previously just had fan art renditions, in the trailer we now have brief but actual footage of Cheetah in combat with Wonder Woman, and the battle looks incredibly kinetic and aerial, set in The White House!  We also know that Cheetah undergoes a progressive transformation into the character, eventually winding up with fur and a tail.- – I…am…so…ENVIOUS!  Progressive transformations are really the way to go, since an instantaneous one (I understand) tends to be both painful and unconvincing.

Barbara Ann Minerva isn’t just another pretty kitty…she has a doctoral degree in archaeology, and a complex love-hate relationship with Wonder Woman.  She can change her physiology at will, and as Cheetah isn’t even much bothered by the Amazon’s magic lasso.  The character has come a long ways from earlier representations as a woman in a a costume.  I do so like a character with bite, and you may want to make yourself a prrromise to see this one…




(- –Do we want to send in psychotherapists or animal control to deal with this one?) 

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Absorbx Cat Litter Commercial…

Posted August 22, 2020 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, furry television, television, twisted reality

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Cat litter commercials sell a necessary if somewhat distasteful product for feline fanciers, and leave it to Arm & Hammer to do so memorably!  Those who do not co-habit with cats at least deserve in such a commercial to be entertained, and I haven’t seen anthropomorphic animals portrayed so well in a classic western-gendre setting since the movie Rango, but here the characters are all feline…

Picture a classic western saloon circa 1870, complete with swinging entry doors, period piano music playing, and a cast of stock costumed western character types inside.  Enter the young, slender, white-hatted stranger; instantly the piano music ceases, and all eyes are fixed on the newcomer…will there be trouble?  

Thankfully, no…“This town smells FANTASTIC!,” declares the stranger.  At a nearby poker-type table, we see a trio of felines, on the left a female “Miss Kitty” type, to the right possibly a dandified card-sharp, and between them a large, hoary, black-hatted, black-overcoated alpha cat who looks like he might be trouble.  But no, he arranges a demonstration through the cat-bartender of the litter’s absorbency qualities using “desert-dry” mineral ingredients.  Follow the science, I always say…

Following the demonstration, our appealing white-hatted cat notes that word is going to spread fast.  “Spread it then,” admonishes the dark-hatted cat.  “Go on, git!”  And so the slender stranger does…and the rest will probably be the stuff of western legend…

Perhaps future commercial installments will feature “the Cat With No Name” gunning down purveyors of inferior cat litter, kind of a Clint Eastcat typeand I’d love to see Val Kilmer’s standout Tombstone character translated to Cat Holliday, frontier dentist, card sharp, and quirky gunfighter extraordinary!  

 

Twizzlers “Only the Road Knows” Commercial…

Posted August 8, 2020 by vulpesffb
Categories: advertising, commercials, humor, television, twisted reality

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In this age of COVID, we are all spending more time alone, and what could be more terrifying than being left alone with our own thoughts?!  Fortunately, the thoughts that run through our minds are more often mundane than weighty…

As a case in point, we have the Twizzlers commercial, “Only the Road Knows.”  In it, a man is riding as passenger in a car driven by a woman along a lonely, isolated road through a deep forest.  He is chewing on a Twizzlers, and appears to be deep in thought.  For those of you living in a cave, Twizzlers are a rope-like candy traditionally red in color and strawberry in flavor, although color and flavor varieties are available.  One wonders what thoughts are occupying the man’s mind…perhaps from the setting the dreaded “relationship issues” questions?  Kill me now, please…

But no…we as observers are made privy to the man’s thoughts, which are revealed to be,”Am I too old to begin skateboarding?”  If one has to ask that question, the answer is likely a resounding YES, unless you are equipped with forgiving and rubbery joints, or like to spend time in orthopedic convalescence.  The question is one which the man needs to ponder, however, and Twizzlers is the candy that will assist him to “chew on it.” I do hope that the poor devil finds his way…

Research has shown, you see, that people are drawn to Twizzlers by the texture, and the gratification afforded by chewing.  Perhaps Freud was right about oral needs.  I’ve known people who claim that chewing gum relaxes them, and even helps them think.  At any rate, in the age of COVID, I would offer Twizzlers this supplemental slogan;

When life gets screwy, go chewy.”  Just take your mask off first, of course…    image                                                                              

 

Wilford Brimley Passes..

Posted August 3, 2020 by vulpesffb
Categories: aliens, sci fi

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He was a fine character actor, and although his commercials for Quaker Oatmeal could be annoying, I liked the old coot, who kind of presented on screen as everyone’s crusty, grumpy, know-it-all grandpa.  I don’t often memorialize actors here, but Wilford Brimley appeared in some memorable science fiction movies, which is one territory we visit here, especially as they involve alien concepts and life.  Brimley appeared in both Cocoon and The Thing, the latter a wonderful if dark and gory 1982 re-make by John Carpenter of the earlier classic.  As Dr. Blair, the chief biologist in The Thing, Brimley’s character was the first to recognize the global danger posed by the shape-shifting alien, and he took a radical approach to attempting to contain the threat.  Carpenter’s The Thing remains one of my personal faves, it’s aged well, and I revisit it often.  He’s pictured above in that role, minus his trademark walrus mustache.

Brimley was an ex-marine, and most don’t know that he had a fine singing voice, and played harmonica well.  Wilford got into acting with non-speaking parts in 1960’s westerns, and might be seen there hammering horseshoes in the background.  In addition to numerous film credits and diverse roles, he also starred in a TV series, Our House.

If Brimley were here, he might talk to us for a few minutes about diabetes, which came across as diabeetus.  He’d encourage us to eat our oatmeal (because if you hate it, it’s gotta be good for you).  Suffering is good for the soul, right?  If so, mine ought to be almost golden by now.  And remember, you’ve gotta contain those insidious aliens!  Maybe feed them some damn oatmeal so they won’t want our world…and “It’s the right thing to do.”