Imagine, if you will, an authentic Viking longboat of the historic period with members of its crew weary of their steady diet of gruel. Offered the usual slop, one crew member dares to ask one in charge if they have any ribeye. They even presume to ask for how they would like their steak prepared, as does their mate, who wishes theirs well done. “Why would you do that to a piece of meat?,” questions the first of the second’s preparation choice…
But as you might imagine, a Viking longboat is not a restaurant, and the picky Vikings are issued a ladle full of gruel, which looks about as unappetizing as you’d think. “Thank you for the gruel,” meekly says the first Viking, probably lucky not to be thrown overboard…
Despite the monotonous diet, Vikings like pirates remain popular fantasy figures, despite sea raids never yielding pizza or fast food…
(- -Ahh, to be a Sea Fox with a hardy crew back in the day! )
I’m a fan of The Green Lantern, and have been since childhood; he’s my second favorite DC character, ranking just after Superman. As a fan, I’m glad to see the Green Lantern as a series coming to HBO and HBO Max, but am somewhat apprehensive about the way that they’re treating the character and mythology. The Green Lantern needs to be treated as a sci-fi property, not as a detective and mystery concept…
Witness the new incarnation of Hal Jordan (Kyle Chandler) there on the right; he’s older, a bit worn and weary, and nearing retirement, engaged in the training of his 30-some years younger replacement, John Stewart (Aaron Pierre). Not exactly cosmic looking, are they, and in their street clothes you don’t even see much green on them…
When you finally see the uniform, it looks kind of muddied, the greens looking kinda brownish-green. Muddied might be a good description of the show’s premise, which seeks to blend sci-fi, mystery, and superhero action. The Green Lanterns are kind of treated as an intergalactic police force working in precinct Earth…
Oh look!- -There’s the iconic Lantern! The eight-episode series to air in August supposedly has recognizable Green Lantern lore, and pays more attention to characterization than spectacle, which is one of the reasons that the Green Lantern movie of 2012 was a commercial failure despite having its moments…
So I’ll give this Green Lantern series a fair try. It’s not the sci fi Green Lantern that I wanted, but maybe it’s the Green Lantern that I deserved…and if Hal Jordan looks like he’s seen better days, haven’t many of us? Listen for the lastline in this trailer clip, it’s a keeper…
(I always wanted to be a Green Lantern, but more of an intergalactic one…)
We haven’t seen the Woodland Critters on South Park in 21 years, and although many thought that we’d never see them again, they make a roaring return to the finale of South Park’s Season 28!
Now the Critters were originally created as part of a Xmas story dreamed up by 4th grader Eric Cartman for a twisted Xmas story that he wrote, and while they appear cute, lovable, and child-like are really satanic creatures with dark powers including the ability to summon demons and hellfire. They engage in murderous and sadistic acts, including the torture and murder of Strawberry Shortcake.
There are a dozen Woodland Critters that include a bear, deer, rabbit, squirrel, and a fox. All are named simply by adding a “y” to their species name, so here we have Foxy the fox. (We foxes do struggle to control our dark side, you know.) Despite their apparent innocence, the Critters are quite sadistic, and use their dark powers to engage in violent and despicable acts that I don’t wish to even describe in a blog that tries hard not to venture beyond PG-13 territory.This time, the Critters are all excited because Donald Trump has impregnated Satan, who is going to give birth to the Anti-Christ. Things get very strange in a show that includes a talking towel prone to getting high, Towelie…
I know of no other show that has an anthropomorphic, marijuana-addicted talking towel as a recurring character. In Towelie’s defense, however, the government created him, and he’ll do the right thing when he knows what’s going on. He’s actually saved the boys from an evil towel on one occasion…
South Park at its best reverses and confounds our expectations, and the re-appearance of the Woodland Critters after a long absence from the series is an example of that, mixed in with the saga of satirizing the Trump administration and its key players for several seasons.- – Y’all have a Merry Xmas now, ‘ya hear?
In a CGI Progressive Insurance commercial, we are shown animals driving. Human nature is seldom seen at its best when behind the wheel of a car, and the roadways can truly be seen as a jungle of sorts. The question that then emerges is, What kind of animals will you encounter while driving?And inevitably, What kind of animal are YOU when driving?!
We can largely imagine how a sloth might drive, but how about a deer? They freeze in headlights, of course! A lion drives ferociously, roaring and embodying road rage. Hyenas laugh as they zip across lanes. A ram drives true to his name…
And not to be forgotten,Progressive’s own spokesperson Flo voices a llama safely from curbside, reassuring that with Progressive that you won’t be held responsible for other people’s mistakes. In a reference to another llama commercial featuring a llama at a hairstylist, she asks also if people are staring at her because of her hair…
I have always had an interest in and appreciation for vintage cartoons, not to disparage the modern product ( although some “limited animation” ‘toons are poorly drawn and abominable). It’s just that when we look back on some of these efforts stemming back to the early days of animation, we can appreciate how clever, wildly creative, and groundsbreaking they truly were…
One such example is the 1935 Looney Tunes cartoon Hollywood Capers (featuring Beans). Now Beans (one of the Boston Beans, he tells us) is a black cat properly attired in overalls and a too-small hat who sneaks into a production studio, and we meet cartoon versions of Charlie Chaplin and W.C. Fields along the way.- – How sad that such classic characters are becoming increasingly unknown to many people!
Now Beans creates all kinds of mischief in the studio, even meeting the Frankenstein Monster, who was almost a current issue at the time that this cartoon was made…
So take the time to view some early vintage ‘toons, which can have the sensation of being an acid trip sans drugs. They are wildly remarkable for their time…
To my knowledge, there hasn’t been an on-going werewolf character in a regular TV series since Oz on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Josh in Being Human. Fortunately, the Wednesday series on Netflix has introduced a leading werewolf character, a female no less, in the person of Enid, the roommate of Wednesday Addams.
Now Enid is not your typical dark and tormented werewolf character, but instead a rather cheerful and bright-spirited young lady who is just at the start of her werewolf journey, in the process of discovering herself and experiencing her first transformations. She contrasts almost completely with the darkness of Wednesday, having her half of their shared room in bright colors whereas Wednesday’s half is black and gothic. When asked at one point how she feels, Enid responds, “warm and fuzzy!”
Herupbeat nature initially causes Wednesday to keep Enid at some distance, but their relationship grows during the series, and in the second season now completed it’s revealed that Enid is not only a werewolf but an Alpha, capable of changing into her wolf form willfully without a full moon. Should she do so at this point, however, she will be permanently locked into her werewolf form, unable to transform back to human status…
Well, it turns out that when Wednesday is prematurely buried by a series villain and in danger of death by suffocation, Enid’s powerful werewolf form is needed to excavate Wednesday from her grave just in time. Fearless and unshaken, Wednesday declares “I enjoyed that” of her burial experience; you gotta love this dark girl! Enid, however, is locked in her werewolf form and feral, and goes on the lam. She is pursued by (hooray!) Uncle Fester and Wednesday at the end of the second season, with Wednesday riding in the sidecar of Fester’s motorcycle, and Fester ecstatic about the fun they’ll have pursuing such a dangerous creature!
Itwill be interesting to see the further development of Enid’s werewolf character, who Wednesday promised to pursue and restore. One hopes that Season 3 of Wednesday will not be long in coming…
Perhaps the older souls among us can remember the classic “land shark” routine played on the original season of Saturday Night Live…a voice would come to your door, announcing a delivery of perhaps a telegram or candy gram, and when you answered the door, a large rubbery shark head would descend over the tenant and drag them outside, another tragic victim of The Land Shark! Yea, verily, it is written that when the oceans are full, the sharks will hunt on dry land!
Well, just when you thought that it was safe to leave your house or apartment,the land sharks, courtesy of NJM Insurance, are at it again!They appear to have evolved, however, and are much more genteel, having developed legs and even wearing ties and carrying briefcases, probably to lure us into a false sense of security before they strike and glom down on people…
Now a tourist tram train appears to be visiting a Hollywood set, where their on-board host tells the passengers that they’re in luck, an insurance commercial is being filmed! One lady talks to her companion, wondering if they’re shooting an action feature. The video director calls for action,, and we see our genial shark, walking along just like any businessman…then the director calls for a stunt shark, who appears, changes places with shark #1, and gets blasted with water!
Ourtouring lady appears disappointed, commenting that nothing blew up…but perhaps Chief Brody should be put on alert, just in case! Maybe they’ll need a bigger boat…
We’ve heard ofThe Wolf of Wall Street…why not The Land Shark of Hollywood?
It’s been a long time waiting until Season 2, but Wednesday Addams is finally back on Netflix, which has added nicely to the series. For one thing, Wednesday’s brother Pugsley is now in the cast, and is far more fleshed out as a character than in previous imaginings of him…for one thing, he stands taller than Wednesday, although she remains dominant, and Pugsley has the ability to cast bolts of electricity from his hands, an electrical affinity that he shares with Uncle Fester…
Now the ability to readily tolerate and produce electrical current is a gene that apparently skipped father Gomez, who can boast no such powers. But thankfully Fester is back and wonderful, and we see him enjoying electroshock treatment in a psychiatric hospital, where he begs for more treatments! “They used to call it a Funny Farm!,” Fester reminds us about the institution where he self-admits to gather information for Wednesday. Warned that he may be tortured, Fester gleefully exults, “Oh, this is gonna be FUN!” You gotta love the guy…
Wednesday has a number of psychic gifts including precognition, and she can envision the past or future of an object or person by touching them. When her gifts are used too much, however, black tears stream from her eyes. At the Nevermore school (like Hogwarts but darker), Wednesday has become an icon for her fellow students, but despises that role. “Put me on a pedestal,” she counsels, “and I’ll burn it down!” Wednesday is kind of at odds with her mother Morticia in Season 2, at one point engaging in a blindfolded duel with her in the woods after dark(a family tradition, we are told)…
Unfortunately Season 2 thus far is just Part 1 of 2, and we must wait until September to see the remaining four episodes, but I’m sure that it will be worth the waitfor Wednesday, a force of nature or perhaps the unnatural…
A mini-dinosaur might make an interesting if cumbersome pet, and of course they’d have to be well-behaved! With a name like Walter, this diminutive T-rex sounds rather domesticated, but he’s still awfully big for human environments, and so can barely fit into things like elevators and taxicabs…
Asthma medications haven’t changed much in fifty years, you see, so the albuterol inhaler is really a dinosaur of sorts. Walter is then a metaphor representing older, outdated “rescue” albuterol-only inhalers for asthmathat primarily treat symptoms of asthma without addressing underlying inflammation. Airsupra is a “dual-action” inhaler that treats both symptoms and underlying inflammation of asthma…
So Walter is awkward and outdated on tandem bikes, being, after all, a dinosaur. We’re unlikely to see him in any of the Jurassic Park movies either, which is a pity because he does appear genial and is cute…
If you’ve noticed, we now see Earl the Cat from the Smalls cat food commercials mostly as a simplistic two-dimensional line drawing these days. Rarely do we see the wonderful Earl as the guy in the fursuit anymore…
This is a shame, because fursuit Earl is far more captivating than line drawing Earl. He was so good and compelling that his presence probably distracted from the cat food product itself.There are other examples where a commercial character was so magnetic that they apparently distracted from the product being advertised, and so were sadly phased out. I just think that we had yet to see the best of fursuit Earl…
ConsiderLactose Cow in the Lactaid commercials, aka “the Milk that Messes With You.” Mess with us she did, but was incredibly comic and memorable in doing so, far outshining the demure blue-and-white Lactaid Cow. I for one deeply miss seeing these commercial stars, and since I am powerless to return them, will leave you with a few memories of the best of The Milk That Messes With You. Characters gone but not forgotten…*sighs*
FOXSYLVANIA 
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