Archive for the ‘anthropomorphic’ category

“The Masked Singer” Continues…

October 14, 2019


In this past week’s installment of The Masked Singer, we were treated to a singing flower, two birds, and at last, a fox…so you might say that this show is furry friendly, with a high percentage of animal-themed contestants.

The Flower reminded me a little of Batman villainess Poison Ivy, but she had a great set of pipes, and sang her way to victory over her opponent the Eagle, who you still had to love as an American icon, looking a bit like an avian retro-hippy. In a matchup which pitted the Penguin again the Fox, the competition was closer but the Fox prevailed, resplendent in knee-length boots, a top hat, and a couple of steampunk or perhaps cybernetic embellishments. This Fox moved well and had a good sense of stage presence, cutting a dashing figure as he sang a Maroon 5 song, grooving with the audience. Some think that the Fox is Wayne Brady, who has the song and dance chops to give this performance. It worked for me, but I’m admittedly biased…

The second-chance “Smackdown” then pitted Eagle vs. Penguin, and it was the end of the line for Eagle, who was unmasked to be Dr. Drew Pinsky, an addiction medicine specialist and media celebrity. As for the Fox, I’m looking forward to seeing more of him…

Chantix “Cold Turkey: Skyscraper”

October 10, 2019

In a recent Chantix commercial, the now familiar Chantix turkey visits the observation floor of a skyscraper on a windy day, finding the temperatures a bit chilly for him as he emerges from an elevator.  The turkey then retreats, returning in a jacket and taking in the sights from his vantage point, even availing himself of the coin-operated viewer common at such locations and at one point looking directly at the viewing audience from the apparatus!

Being an anthropomorphic turkey, our boy actually takes a “selfie” from his location, observed by a pigeon in the background who looks and behaves conventionally for his species. There is no communion of the minds or small talk taking place between these two birds; they are not “birds of a feather,” since we’ve previously even seen the turkey driving a vehicle and living in a rather nice house.  One wonders if the turkey would become irate if the pigeon were to poop on his vehicle, and perhaps be driven by stress to fire up a cigarette again.  That doesn’t take place in this installment, for the turkey, successfully weaned from tobacco, throws into a trash can the pack of cigarettes that he apparently carried in his jacket. Then the turkey clicks his heels (or whatever passes for them on a turkey), and returns to the elevator for his descent from the skyscraper.

With Thanksgiving drawing nearer, I do hope that our turkey can steer clear of opportunistic hunters, although it probably wouldn’t be hard for him to outwit Elmer Fudd…

 

 

 

The Masked Singer, Season 2, Ep 3

October 4, 2019



In the next installment of The Masked Singer, viewers were treated to an arachnid, an avian, and two mammals competing. The Black Widow’s costume was the stuff of nightmares, and she would have been an appropriate villainess on the 1960’s Batman show.  One can imagine Burt Ward’s Robin spouting a line like, “Holy entanglement Batman, it’s the Black Widow!”  Then those multiple arachnoid limbs would wrap around the Boy Wonder, causing Batman to whip out the Bat-Spray from his utility belt…

 

But Black Widow did have the vocal chops to best The Leopard in voting for their initial sing-off, belting out a Whitney Houston number to Leopard’s “Somebody to Love” by Queen.  Leopard sported kind of a queenly medieval royalty outfit, but was surprisingly a guy!

Then there followed Flamingo, a rather cheesy costume but a good female performer who belted out Sucker by the Jonas Brothers.  She outvoted Panda, another female who sang “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)” by Kelly Clarkson.

In the “Smackdown” second chance match-off of previous round losers, Leopard with a performance of Aretha Franklin’s “Respect” bested Panda’s rendition of “All I Do Is Win.”  Unmasked at the end of the show, Panda was revealed to be Laila Ali, Muhammad Ali’s daughter!  Had this been another kind of smackdown, Ali undoubtedly would have won…

The Masked Singer continues to present a weird and wacky mixture  of American Idol with The Gong Show, and is furry-friendly.  As too much sanity can be madness, I like this warped concoction, with off-the-wall comedian Ken Jeong as one of the judges and a whipped-up audience enthusiastically egging on the performers…

 

GEICOween is coming!

October 1, 2019


In a series of Halloween-themed commercials, Geico insurance introduces us to Griselda the witch, a witchy but wonderfully hip witch who builds on traditional stereotypes to in one commercial host a karaoke cooking show, complete with bubbling cauldron in which angel sneezes and a thumb drive are added to the brew!

But I digress…in one wonderful, furry-themed commercial, two female college students have taken in Griselda as a compromise roommate, one seeking someone who can help with the cooking, and the other wanting someone who likes cats.  Griselda fits the bill nicely, spoon-feeding one of the students soup that transforms her into an anthropomorphic cat complete with cat ears, facial features, and furry forearms… I’d drink of that brew anytime! While her cooking may be questionable, Geico can really help these students with renters insurance, we’re told.

Anyways, Griselda is a real hoot as is her furry creation, and deserves to be a breakout  character.  We Halloween lovers thank you, Geico…watch for yourself, and meow!

 

(tip o’ the pen to Carycomic for the idea for this post!)

 

 

The Masked Singer, Season 2…

September 27, 2019



The Masked Singer is back for a second season on Fox, that show which plays like American Idol on psychotropic drugs.  Contestants wear full body costumes head to toe which totally conceal their identity, and perform popular musical numbers for which they are judged over intervening weeks in an elimination contest.  The show is hosted by Nick Cannon, and also features celebrity panelists including Robin Thicke and Dr. Ken Jeong.  Shamelessly weird, the show also incorporates “security personnel” who dress like the Men in Black attired in black suits and ties and wearing sunglasses at all times.  I’m OK with all of this, as I prefer my fantasy worlds to reality, anyways…weird is good, and works for me!

Episode 1 for the second season commenced with a contestant called Butterfly performing Bang, Bang in competition with Egg who performed Just Dance. The costume worn by Butterfly was suitably dazzling and iridescent, and coupled with a good set of pipes enabled her to emerge victorious over Egg, who was later unmasked to reveal Johnny Weir.  In a second matchup, Thingamajig (don’t ask) performing I’m Easy defeated Skeleton who performed Rappers Delight.  A third pairing pitted Ladybug who sang Holding Out for a Hero against Rottweiler, who won with Maneater performed against a chain link fence that also appropriately housed a fire hydrant, which thankfully he didn’t use during the performance.  Rottweiler was my furry fave for the night, working with backup dancers who wore canine masks and featured a rather sensuous and lithe female worth howling over.  This was one fine bitch, and I’m not using the word in the pejorative sense!

The final pairing was even more surreal, with a contestant Tree dressed as a Xmas Tree performing High Hopes and defeating Ice Cream who sang Old Town Road.  Ice Cream was unmasked as Tyler “Ninja” Bleving following a second chance “smackdown” defeat by Ladybug, who appropriately won singing Hit Me With Your Best Shot.

With two insect costumes and only one identifiable mammal, I was a little disappointed although an upcoming episode features a feline performer and one of personal interest called Mr. Fox, who appears to have steampunk stylings.   Until we see their performances, I’m putting my paws up for Rottweiler…he’s such a good boy, even if he does remind me of Homer Simpson in an episode of The Simpsons where he voiced Poochie the dog…

 

 

 

Allstate’s “Mayhem Cat” Commercial…

September 14, 2019

Dean Winters is back as the Allstate Mayhem guy, a role he plays to perfection…and he’s no stranger to playing animals as well, having played a raccoon in the attic in an earlier outing (below)…

This time he’s portraying a cat, and the absurdity and whimsy of his portrayal is enhanced by the fact that he’s neither in costume nor CGI enhanced, but simply appearing as a normally dressed adult human male adopting feline mannerisms, poses, and behaviors. 

“I’m your cat,” announces Winters, “and ever since you brought me home that day, I’ve been plotting to destroy you,” he declares calmly, flashing back to his batting away the petting hand of his male owner on that first day. We are show Winters doing a variety of iconic cat-things, like playing with kitty-toys while lying on his owner’s couch, and spitting a mouse onto their sleeping face.  “I’ve been sizing you up, calculating your every move,” Winters shares as he peers from a cat-condo and rides a Roomba.  “You think this is love?  This is a billion years of tiger DNA, waiting to pounce!” Eventually a faucet left running by the Winters-cat overflows the sink, causing the upstairs bathroom to collapse down to the floor below.  His feline agenda is proceeding nicely…

If you have the wrong type of insurance, you could be stuck coughing up the cash for this,” advises Winters as he coughs up bird feathers by a now vacant cage. “So get Allstate, and you could be better protected from Mayhem, like meow,” he closes, dipping his fingers into a cat-food bowl bearing the name “Mayhem,” and laughing in a rather sinister fashion, his outfit complete with a collar and tag…the devil is in the details, you see!

 

 

 

Jif’s “Squirrel” Commercial…

September 8, 2019

 
I would probably have long since starved to death were it not for peanut butter.  I’ve eaten it since childhood, and continue to turn to it several times a week.  At times, I even crave it; peanut butter is my go-to lunch and snack of choice when I don’t know what to eat. That being said, I indulge my guilty pleasure at home; even I may not be seen at a park, slathering peanut butter on a slice of bread.  I’ve never been known to carry a jar of peanut butter around with me; I’m just not that hard-core…

…not so the curly-haired young lady in our Jif commercial!  Seated on a park bench, she whips herself up a thickly-spread slice of peanut butter bread, only to find herself approached by a squirrel.  Aww…isn’t he cute?  Who could deny him?  So she gives him a tidbit, and is soon approached by another squirrel, then another! No good deed goes unpunished, after all.  Soon the woman is surrounded by dozens of squirrels, kinda like what happens when you feed french fries to sea gulls at the beach…

…It’s then that the commercial takes a surreal turn, for towering above the sea of squirrels is a creepy man-squirrel, wearing a squirrel mask that covers his entire head.  He, too, is seeking a hand-out, and even making beseeching squirrel-noises.  Is this a peanut butter pervert?  And what should the young lady do?  Mace him, scream for help, or try to bean him with the peanut butter jar? This question is left unanswered, but some people will go to any lengths for the product.  It’s that Jif’ing good, we’re told.  I do sympathize, honestly, sharing the addiction…

…but in my twisted mind fed by a love for horror, the question lingers;  what happens when the woman runs out of peanut butter?  Do the legion of squirrels and their squirrel-headed human-sized leader decide that the lady might be tasty, too?  A few pounce on her to take a tentative nibble, and soon she is writhing under a blanket of them…Aieee! (The screen fades to black as we hear squirrels chittering…the Day of the Squirrel is at hand!)