Archive for the ‘anthropomorphic’ category

NJM’s “Ferret Interview” Commercial…

November 24, 2021

I have long been of the opinion that ferrets are wonderful animals whose potential has barely been touched in commercials, the furry fandom, and society in general. They are cool, cute, endearing, smart, and move well. Perhaps through commercials such as this one, the Day of the Ferret will finally have arrived!

Just check out this little guy…small in size, but big in talent! He’s lithe, good-looking, well-spoken, and he even moonwalks! Appearing for a job interview, the ferret is offered a job in the mail room by the job interviewer, who clearly lacks vision. The ferret sees himself as having mascot potential, and frankly would be a great one!

Now NJM Insurance promotes itself as having no mascots and no jingles, and I respect them for that. Some of the mascot commercials are admittedly stupid or over-the-top. But I would snatch this little guy up, and sign him to a long-term contract, fast! I can even see a TV series working nicely for this one…

Now in my twisted perspective, I’d like to see the tables reversed, and the ferret interviewing the woman. She could then then be told that she didn’t meet company needs at this time, or perhaps more darkly be assigned to writing company “mission statements” and other jobs from hell…

Now to see another ferret used effectively, check out the character of Fungo Squiggly in the comic strip Get Fuzzy. Fungo is rough and borderline thuggish, he smokes, is said to chew metal as a hobby, produces Ferret Television, and is the nemesis of Bucky the Cat. Will there be a ferret in your future?

And by the way, a Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!

The Bigfoot-Alien Connection…

November 12, 2021

When the yet-unproven is layered together with the implausible, you wind up with something like The Bigfoot Alien Connection Revealed, a 2020 film which basically postulates that Bigfoot is himself an alien, an intelligent life form not of this earth but possibly trans-dimensional, whose elusiveness centers on his ability to slip between those dimensions. As a physically robust species, Bigfoot is described as having some form of collaboration with the more traditional alien grays, in effect doing the heavy lifting for them as their agents. Incidents where Bigfoot sightings have occurred together with “lights in the sky” are suggested as supporting evidence for this.

Running at over 90 minutes, The Bigfoot Alien Connection dispenses theories that are pretty far out there as compared to the more mundane ideas about the big hairy guy perhaps being an unidentified species of giant ape; rather, claims are advanced that paranormal features are associated with Bigfoot. Some have reported seeing Bigfoot disappear in front of them; the question then arose as to whether Bigfoot was somehow “cloaking,” or leaving our dimension at that point. Locations described as “hot spots,” “power spots,” or “vortex spirals” are reported as having been associated with Bigfoot appearances, together with other paranormal phenomena such as orbs. Some presenters in the feature linked the appearance of orbs directly to Bigfoot, even suggesting that he is capable of shape-shifting.

Oh well! As one commentator in the feature observed, the phenomena associated with Bigfoot manifestations defies explanation, at least at times. It’s unfortunate that many portrayals of Bigfoot are cartoonish, and many pursuers of them amateurish, as there are some serious investigators out there worthy of attention and support…

“Shapeshifters Anonymous” on “Creepshow”

October 23, 2021

Gee, they’ve got support groups for everything these days…weight control, problem drinking, and even apparently Shapeshifters. I don’t know if it’s a 12-step program, but it’s certainly inclusive, sponsoring a were-cheetah, a were-boar, a classic werewolf (their newest arrival), and even an unlikely were-tortoise. And oh yes, there’s even a garden-variety furry with no shifting ability but whose character is a hippo. She’s readily accepted here as well, and identifies with the group.

In the Creepshow episode, a confused and troubled werewolf seeks admission to the support group. He only has the previous week’s password, but comes bearing a nice box of donuts, so they let him inI know that donuts would seal the deal for me! The new arrival is conflicted and full of angst about his werewolf side, as werewolves tend to be since the days of Larry Talbot. I prefer Ann Rice’s perspective of the wolf gift. But anyhow, the were-cheetah leader of the group takes the lupine under her wing (or paw), and she’s a gorgeous specimen, even if not quite on a par with Cheetah from Wonder Woman…

Anyways, the Shapeshifters don’t have long to get acquainted as they have a serious Santa problem, and are soon locked in a royal battle with an attack by a myriad of mall-type Santa’s helpers, capped off by a visit from the not-so-jolly old elf himself, who presents as more Krampus than Claus. He’s truly Santa Claws, complete with wicked blades where he should have hands. This is truly Psycho Santa…

Well, anthropomorphs aren’t going to take being pushed around easily, so with the aid of a transformational serum supplied by a previously-mute member they fight the helpers and then the big guy in the armored red suit with firearms, environmental weaponry, and tooth and claw. It’s wonderful stuff!

So catch Shapeshifters Anonymous, originally a 2020 Shudder special, on Creepshow. It’s based on a story by J.A. Konrath…

(Tip o’ the pen to Carycomic!)

Arm & Hammer “Slide Out of Funk” Cat Disco Commercial…

October 16, 2021

Many of us wonder what our cats do when they disappear from home for hours at a time. Hunt and kill things to bring home to you? – -Nah, they go to the disco where they got it going on!

This feline disco is in the best 70’s tradition, complete with a lit-up dance floor and a mirrored disco ball hanging from the ceiling. Anthropomorphic cats are in colorful period threads, and there’s even a lithe, scene-stealing tomcat who moves like a young feline John Travolta. Yes, this cat is where it’s at!

It’s no wonder that the female kitties are all moon-eyed over this Top Cat. “Where did he learn to slide’ like that?,” wonders one. Why, Arm & Hammer “slide” cat litter, of course! And doesn’t the cat below on the left look as if she’s wearing a Star Trek uniform? Is this a Caitian, perhaps the feline version of Uhura?

I was never into the “disco” scene much; it ain’t what we called Rock ‘n’ Roll! The kitty disco scene is fun, but if leisure suits ever come back, I’m out of here! 😸 Until that time, “Go Cat, Go!

Geico’s “Animal in the Attic”

October 7, 2021

I’ve always felt that Animal, the Muppet drummer for Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, might have been helped by the proper psychotropic medication. On medication, however, his explosive and wildly exuberant drumming might have suffered. It’s a trade-off, really…

The Geico commercial begins with an unremarkable middle-aged couple sitting on their couch, with the guy professing that they love their house, and have lived there for years. “Yeah, but there’s an Animal in the attic,” adds the lady…

and so there is, flailing away at his drum kit while vocalizing such snatches of speech as “Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah! Drums! Drums! Aaaah! An-im-al!

When not loudly pounding on his drums, Animal invades the kitchen, literally swings from the rafters, and slides down the bannister. Remarkably, all his unwilling hosts can do is try to ignore him. At least Geico makes bundling their car and homeowners insurance easy…

In a closing scene, we are shown Animal shambling across the couple’s yard, the length of broken chain around his neck a nice touch. Animals just have to be free, ‘ya know…. 🦊

(…tip o’ the pen to Carycomic!)

Tex Avery’s “Reginald Fox”

October 5, 2021

He’s an obscure character but a memorable one, appearing just once in Tex Avery’s 1949 cartoon, “Out-Foxed.” Reginald Fox is stereotypically a sophisticated Brit, speaking with an accent, wearing a monocle, and drinking tea throughout the production.

You just gotta love a fox who reads Fox News, and reassures his audience that they needn’t fear for his safety, because he is, after all, a fox. Very nonchalant even when pursued by hounds promised steaks for his capture, Reginald turns their ploys against them in a mocking manner reminiscent of Bugs Bunny.

Although a Droopy Dog cartoon, it’s Reginald who dominates the film, entering into an alliance with Droopy that becomes mutually advantageous with all enjoying steaks as the “captured” fox clan sings Droopy a rousing chorus of “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow.”

The moral of our story is that few things age as well as a Tex Avery cartoon… 🦊

“Godzilla vs. Kong” Satisfies…

August 31, 2021

I have at long last been able to see the much-touted Godzilla vs. Kong movie, crown jewel in the MonsterVerse series. While the film is overly-long and leaves many unanswered questions, it’s still a good guilty pleasure for Kaiju fans.

Now it takes over forty minutes for our combatants to finally meet in a neon-lit Hong Kong, which thoughtfully has Titan Shelters (so labeled) present for the safety of its human inhabitants. The dang Titans run amok every so often, and wouldn’t it be great if Titans were the only problem faced by humanity? They would constitute an external, readily-identifiable enemy.

Now Kong in the movie receives much of the initial film time, even taking a waterfall shower to the strains of a 50’s doo-wop hit. He’s being kept in a containment environment, but knows that it’s fake. When Godzilla begins attacking shipping and otherwise behaving badly, Kong is transported via air and sea to protect the mainland, and then it’s match on. Kong and Godzilla have an ancient rivalry and generally bad blood towards one another, you see. Kong is also recruited to fight for humanity by being shown “Hollow Earth,” a vast environment within the Earth where he’s led to believe he may find others like himself. The notion of Hollow Earth should really delight and get fringe conspiracy and pseudo-science adherents buzzing.

So Kong and Godzilla fight in Hong Kong, and I won’t detail that outcome so as not to spoil the spectacle for those who have yet to see the film. I will say that Mechagodzilla enters into it prominently, however, and that he’s become sentient, gone rogue, and is infused with the mojo of King Ghidora through one of his three decapitated heads, and despises Godzilla for having killed him in a previous film. Understandably, this could ruin your entire day. It all gets rather complicated, but suffice it to say that Mechagodzilla here is an impressive creation, his red eyes glowing like a gigantic Terminator endoskeleton. When Godzilla and Mechagodzilla go at one another head to head, it’s like seeing a Jedi vs. Sith light saber battle on a epic scale, so pull up a chair for this one…

So by all means, indulge yourself in Godzilla vs. Kong, which at times is oddly satisfying and a great guy film! No one else needs to know that you saw it. Perhaps in a future film, the absence of the other Titans from this one will be explained. I could do with a good Mothra epic, after all. Until then, satisfy yourself with Mechagodzilla… 🦊

Brando’s “Dr. Moreau” 25th Year Anniversary…

August 21, 2021

Everyone should read the 1896 novel The Island of Doctor Moreau by H. G. Wells at least once. As a furry, I’ve read it several times, and catch the film versions whenever they’re on. Burt Lancaster played the doctor in a more traditional 1977 version, whereas Marlon Brando really took the role off the rails in a 1996 version that is generally regarded to be the worst film that he ever made.

Brando‘s Dr. Moreau is by almost anyone’s definition bizarre. Playing the part in white Kabuki-style makeup and other outrageous garb, Brando’s characterization is really far out there, and hard to relate to. What makes the film memorable, however, is the cast of animal hybrids that were created in one of the last special effects extravaganzas using makeup rather than computer generated special effects. You can even catch Ron Perlman in the film playing the Sayer of the Law, a goatish-hybrid.

Now Ron Perlman is no stranger to having played furry and other offbeat characters, having appeared as Hellboy and even Vincent in the series Beauty and the Beast. Perlman wanted the experience of having appeared in a project with the legendary Marlon Brando, although this film hardly qualifies as Brando’s best work. Perlman would describe the movie as being an incredible mess…

Now Dr. Moreau was a mad scientist type who endeavored to create human-animal hybrids via vivisection. When his gruesome and painful experiments were publicly exposed, Moreau fled to his island to continue work perfecting his Beast Folk. It continues to be a classic work of science fiction to this day while reflecting the ethical, philosophical, and scientific concerns of the time of its creation. So consider visiting The Island of Doctor Moreau in literature and film, with the 1996 Brando version celebrating its 25th anniversary…and if you see Fox-Bear Woman, a female hybrid of a fox and a bear, tell her I’ve got her back… Are We Not Men?!

“Lamb;” Bizarre but Awesome?

August 4, 2021

Mary had a little lamb, goes the familiar nursery rhyme…and so, apparently, did a childless couple depicted in the upcoming movie Lamb, set in rugged rural Iceland. Now the couple (Maria and Ingvar) did not produce the hybrid themselves, but rather received it as the product of a kind of supernatural visitation to their sheep shed during lambing season. They regard the hybrid as a gift, and raise it as their own rather defensively, the human-ovine child bringing the couple happiness and filling in the gap in their lives. The lamb-child is raised in a crib and fed from a bottle, becoming a bipedal furry humanoid of sorts.- – Kinda the ultimate blended family, right?

Called the strangest movie of the year,” Lamb crosses a number of borders and genres as good films so often do, and viewers are left confused thinking about whether they’ve seen a folkloric horror flick or some kind of absurdist comedy. Perhaps a bit of both in what’s been described as a “visual poem.” The lamb-child herself is the product of puppetry, performance acting, and CGI blended seamlessly.

This isn’t Sheepsquatch, but we of the furry fandom are quite familiar and comfortable with the notion of animal-human hybrids; I’m on board with this! We all know people who think that their kid is a little lamb whereas they’re really a little devil, right? Reviewers of the film are not overly talkative about the details of it out of fear that doing so might spoil the cinematic experience for viewers. Produced by the A24 studio that has done such films as The Lighthouse, Hereditary, and The Witch, the film may become a cult classic. Lamb brings forth the elemental beauty of the Icelandic landscape, and touches upon the deep, often unfathomable relationship between animals and humans…and that’s not a baaad thing! Watch for Lamb premiering in the U.S. October 8th… 🐑

The Guilty Pleasures of “Puppet Master…”

July 21, 2021

Horror as a genre is not for everyone, and even those of us who enjoy it have our favorite sub-domains. One of my favorite niche franchises is that of Puppet Master, now having produced over a dozen films since the first one issued in 1989.

Now calling these inspired creations “puppets” is technically incorrect as they are actually marionettes, although of the autonomous Pinocchio type that function without strings, or even direct human guidance. Crafted by old world-type puppet master Andre Toulon, these puppets are infused with the souls of people who died fighting the Nazis, and have an axe to grind against them and other rotten individuals. Toulon had picked up the trick of animating the figures with transmigrated souls through Egyptian magic, and as we know the ancients were quite concerned with resurrecting things. A glowing green brew with which he infuses his creations keeps them perking. Each of the anthropomorphic Puppets has a distinct appearance, personality and skill set.

Consider Blade here. Skull-like but not quite a skull, he’s inhabited by the soul of a German scientist and doctor who wanted to work with Toulon, but was shot by the Nazis. Now he operates with a hook as one hand, and a blade for the other, and is arguably the leader of the Puppets. He has kind of a Goth appearance.

Then we have Six-Shooter, undeniably well-armed with three sets of them each brandishing a pistol. Cast in the mold of a dastardly western outlaw, he can use his arms to climb walls, like Dr. Octopus of Spiderman infamy, and has a memorable hee-hee-hee laugh. Other Puppets include Jester, Torch, Pinhead, Tunneler, and Leech Woman (don’t ask). These are just a few of the regulars, who at times serve for either good or evil as protagonists or antagonists. It can all get rather confusing, and their universe is far from seamless.

The series has prequels, sequels, and cross-overs which add to the general mayhem and confusion. While a horror series with considerable gore, there’s a bit of leavening humor throughout. One leaves each viewing wondering what exactly they have seen, but this strange brew of Egyptian magic I find oddly invigorating and certainly offbeat…


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