Archive for the ‘anthropomorphic’ category

Nature’s Own Honey Wheat “Little Red” Commercial

April 27, 2022

We’ve seen the fairy tale-inspired commercials of Nature’s Own breads before, and they’re great, spinning off from the Goldilocks saga with the Three Bears, and the Three Little Pigs tale, enjoying a french toast breakfast with the Big Bad Wolf. Well, now we have a version of Little Red Riding Hood, and it’s equally good and memorable…

The wolf that traipses to the cottage door here is large, muscular, and formidable in appearance. Granny inside is clearly no match for him. Entering the dwelling, the wolf licks his chops…is he anticipating an easy meal of Granny?

But no…it’s an easy meal with Granny! When Little Red makes her way to the house wearing her signature garb, the wolf is seated peacefully at the table with Granny, the perfect gentleman! Why kill Granny when she’s the perfect sandwich-maker, after all? Little Red enters the door and beholds the unexpected scene, her eyes wide. “What big eyes you have!,” comments the wolf to Red, in a perfect role-reversal.

See, isn’t this nice? Granny, Little Red, and the Wolf all seated amicably at the table. Why make war when you can make a sandwich? Perhaps Putin could heed this counsel…

“Lucky Larry’s Landscaping” Progressive Commercial

April 24, 2022

I haven’t seen animal choreography this featured since Michael Jackson’s Halloween animated special (below). Catch that gem if you possibly can, especially the animal dance sequence performed to Jackson’s Dangerous. But I digress…

In Progressive Insurance’s commercial Timber, we are introduced to landscaper Lucky Larry, whose job is going so well that he sings to us about it emerging from his truck:

“Oh, the sun keeps shining and the grass is green, I’m way ahead of schedule with my trusty team!” 🎶

“There’s Heather on the hedges,” (complete with hedgehogs snipping) “and Kenny on the koi,” (one of which leaps up to kiss said worker), and we’re ready for an idyllic Disney-esque song and dance number on stairs with anthropomorphic raccoons, bunnies, and squirrels when the mood is shattered by the new guy worker accidentally dropping a tree on the work truck! 🙀

Fortunately, Progressive Insurance can have your small business covered for such calamities, even if Lucky Larry isn’t true to his name… ☘️

So let the dance continue, even if there aren’t foxes included in this number. I’ve gotta get me a better agent, that’s all… 🦊

“The Bad Guys” from Dreamworks…

March 29, 2022

Based on a highly successful kid’s book series by Australian author Aaron Blabey that premiered in 2015, The Bad Guys is a kind of crime comedy focusing on the criminal exploits of five anthropomorphic animals that include Mr. Wolf (a pickpocket), Mr. Snake (a safecracker), Mr. Shark (a master of disguises), Ms. Tarantula (a tech wizard), and Mr. Piranha (mob muscle). It’s kind of like an Ocean’s Eleven theme, but with furries. We’re not all cute and harmless, ‘ya know. I myself have kind of a dark side, which comes with being of a predacious species. Get a bunch of us together, and you have a force of nature, literally and figuratively…🙀

Now Mr. Wolf (Sam Rockwell) is the gang leader, and is both slick and hot. Get in line, ladies…but when a caper goes sour, he cuts a deal with the authorities to avoid prison time in exchange for his gang going good, which he really has no intention of doing. In the course of doing good, however, he finds that being a do-gooder actually strokes his inner need for acceptance. I should mention that Mr. Wolf has a love interest who is a real fox, one Diane Foxington, whose ears to me look rabbit-like…

As a tag line goes, these guys may be bad, but they’re good at it…and being good is no fun! Although intended for kids, The Bad Guys has something for everyone, especially if you like anthropomorphic animals with some classic themes thrown in, and a wolf who wears his threads well and can hold his own on the dance floor. The Big Bad Wolf here is really just a party animal who’s capable of redemption, only needs to channel his gifts in a socially-acceptable way, just wants to have fun, and I likes him! So let’s all let our inner animals out, whaddya say? There’s a little furry in all of youse…Yowsa! 🦊

CarMax’s “Car Buying Reimagined”

March 14, 2022

Alpacas are cute and appealing, and as we learn from a recent CarMax commercial, apparently quite clever! We see an alpaca on a farm watching the owner return in his pickup truck, his faithful dog hanging out of the side window. Digging this scene, the alpaca apparently feels that he would like to ride shotgun, too…

So to a minimal instrumental theme that sounds vaguely western-ish, we are shown the crafty alpaca making his way to a shed towards evening where behind closed doors, where he is apparently able to go on line, surf the web, and apparently order a vehicle with sunroof, all without the benefit of digits!

The next morning, the vehicle is delivered to the astonished farmer, neatly tied up with a bow! In the closing scene, we see the new wheels out on the road, the alpaca getting a commanding view with his long neck and head extended out of the sunroof! This alpaca (whose name is Randy) is like the closing theme tells us, “Bad to the bone!”

Kia’s “Robo Dog” Commercial…

February 25, 2022

Many of us have seen Kia’s “Robo Dog” commercial that premiered during the Super Bowl. The dog itself is incredibly cute and appealing, unless you stare for too long into it’s camera eyes, which look like they could draw you in. We’ve likely too seen robotic dogs actually developed, although most of these are more uncanny and borderline creepy than cute, lacking such embellishments as a distinct head. These dogs look like they’ve been engineered by Skynet to hunt out the human resistance…

The successor to the Kia Soul hamsters, Robo Dog represents the EV6 line, and we first see him sitting forlornly in an electronics store. Seeing an EV6, the robotic dog escapes the store and goes in pursuit of the vehicle and it’s driver, navigating remarkably well until it leaps off a building and runs out of battery charge…

Rather than shattering into pieces on the hard surface beneath, Robo Dog inexplicably survives the plunge, and is recharged back to life by the Kia owner, who adopts the ersatz canine we then see happily in the car…happy ending!

Bonnie Tyler’s memorable “Total Eclipse of the Heart” provides the sound track for the commercial, which reminds us to Live Fully Charged. I’m still glad to be a biological unit, thank you…🦊

“OwlKitty” Does Hollywood!

February 16, 2022

Walter, the Chevy Silverado ad cat, is impressive. OwlKitty, however, is awesome! The black female cat’s real name is Lizzy, and OwlKitty is an assumed stage name. Assume the stage she does, being skillfully edited by her owner, Tibo Charroppin, into parodies of iconic scenes from such movies as Titanic, Jurassic Park, Avengers Endgame, Star Wars, and more…

and OwlKitty can do it all, covering a range from the romantic role of Rose in Titanic to Sith Lord Darth Vader in Star Wars. Give her an action movie, and she can morph in size to substitute for raptors or a T-Rex in the Jurassic Park franchise, or perch atop Captain America’s shoulder in Endgame to seek out Thanos in singular combat, and send him flying, blue energies arcing from her small but mighty body. Still a proper cat, she grooms herself afterwards… 🐈‍⬛

Godzilla on the rampage again? – – No problem, you need a Kong-sized OwlKitty to set that bad boy straight!

So when you have a problem situation, the right man for the job just might be a cat. OwlKitty does lighter, comic-touches, too. The look on her face when Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) dances her around in the Titanic parody is priceless. We haven’t seen a cat this compelling and relatable since Ellen Ripley’s cat Jonesy in Alien…

“King Shark” Rules!

February 3, 2022

In the depths of winter and the continuing pandemic, we could all use a little King Shark right now! Anthropomorphic sharks are a rare breed indeed, and this one is a metahuman criminal denizen of DC’s extended universe, a villain who somehow manages to be cute and even likable despite a taste for human flesh…

The son of a “King of All Sharks,” King Shark (real name Nanaue) is a demigod who is voiced to perfection by Sylvester Stallone in the Suicide Squad 2 movie. Stallone’s mumbling, monotone delivery suits the man-shark character well. Although quite deadly and almost indestructible, King Shark (shown above reading a book in prison upside down) is child-like and dull-witted, speaking in short, simple phrases. Just point him in the right direction, and then get out of his way!

You would want to be King Shark’s friend, because if you were not, you’d be nom nom, namely something good to eat. King Shark doesn’t eat his friends, although almost anything else organic would be considered fair game. He may be seen chewing happily on a human head and other body parts of those opposing him in the movie…

So catch King Shark as memorably created in the Suicide Squad movie. And when he celebrates Shark Week, you’d better party along…. 🦊

IKEA’s Mighty Teddy Bears…

January 25, 2022

If you’re going to have a teddy bear past the age of 10 or so, you’ll want to have one that’s built like Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime…

…and so are these teddy bears in the IKEA commercial, “Every Home Should Be A Haven.” These are buff bears, and ever so useful! They stand outside a home like protective Mafia muscle, wearing sunglasses and functioning like gatekeepers or bouncers! Think you’ll enter uninvited? I don’t think so… 🙀

These teddies are in shape! They lift weights, easily uplift a sofa, and even screen calls inside, crushing a cell phone in one mighty paw when an undesired call comes through. Although powerful, the not-so-soft plushies are good with kids, putting up with makeup parties and tucking the young-uns into bed, all to the rap strains of Final Form by Sampa the Great…

The only thing I don’t like about this commercial is that in the full version, a bear growls, and scares away a fox foraging through garbage outside. We only want milk and cookies, for cripes sake!– – Bear brutality! Oh well, who am I to argue with such ursine muscle? These bruins could take out Yogi without breaking a sweat… 🦊

“Coyote vs. Acme” In Development!

January 8, 2022

I have some good news, and some bad news. First, the good news; Wile E. Coyote is finally getting his own movie! Now, the bad news; it probably won’t open until July of 2023.

I’ve always loved Wile E. Coyote, and it’s not just because foxes and coyotes are kinda cousins. Wile E. has always taught valuable life lessons about the value of persistence. No matter how many cliffs he falls off of, how many explosives ravage him, or how many anvils to the head he receives, Wile E. Coyote is never dissuaded from his goal of catching the Road Runner. It helps, of course, that the coyote is functionally indestructible even if he at times appears to be worse for the wear…

Now Coyote vs. Acme will reportedly be set in the Acme warehouse, that legendary source of all items used in the Looney Tunes universe. Since many of these items seems to be defective or malfunction, I don’t know if litigation against Acme will figure in the plot. The movie may also be using a combination of animation and live action techniques.

So get your Acme Rocket Roller Skates ready, because the endlessly resourceful Super Genius is coming as the champion of all of us losers! Meep-meep! 🦊

Geico’s “Angry Birds” Problem…

December 28, 2021

According to Geico, cultural icons are invading your home! You’ve got Muppet drummer Animal as an unwelcome guest in your attic, and Yogi and Boo Boo bears raiding your cookouts. In yet another example, Angry Birds from Rovio are doing the Hitchcock thing, smashing into the walls and windows of your home, and trashing feeders, lawn umbrellas, and flower pots on your patio!– – Aieee!

Now I know the three feathered fowl well, having an Angry Birds 2 addiction and leading a clan on the mobile game site. They are Red, Chuck, and Bomb, although Bomb certainly could have blasted through the window had he detonated. The homeowners are lucky that Terence didn’t show up, as the heavyweight probably could have gone through the wall as well. Matilda, Silver, and the Blues are likewise nowhere to be seen. Add in optional birds Bubbles, Hal, and Stella, and we could have reduced the whole house to splinters…pathetic humans!- –And why are there no Angry Foxes games?!

“The birds are back!,” one homeowner warns the other before the thumping and crashing continues. “Why are the birds so angry?,” wonders a neighbor peering over a fence. Perhaps there are green pigs in the neighborhood, stealing the avian’s eggs. In filming, the crew lobbed baseballs at the home to enable the actors to respond realistically to the impacts…

Fortunately, the homeowners have Geico insurance bundled to deal with the feathered predation. The assault of cultural icons must impact adversely on property values, one suspects… 🦊


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