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The Tail of the Richmond Rat Boy!

May 29, 2023

It looks like Mickey Mouse got char-broiled, and has certainly seen better days…I’m referring, of course to the Richmond Rat Boy, a small, seemingly-mummified object anonymously donated to the Wayne County Historical Museum in Indiana. The Rat Boy appears to sport a rodent’s head atop a humanoid body that boasts details such as claws and teeth…

Now sadly, Rat Boy was never alive, but has been determined to have been crafted of plaster of Paris and clay over an armature. Animal claws, pointed teeth, and hair were added to lend a touch of realism to the figure. A note was left with the figure saying that it was found long ago in the basement of a local hospital, and once belonged to a circus-worker friend of the donor’s late grandfather…

Now Rat Boy is thought by museum staff to have been a gaff, a cryptid fabricated as a sideshow attraction in circuses that toured America in the 1910’s to the 1930’s. A more memorable example was the notorious Fiji Mermaid once exhibited by P.T. Barnum. They might have charged you a dime to a quarter to see such draws back in the day. Nowadays we can laugh at those gullible people of an earlier time, having reality television and conspiracy theories today…

So while Rat Boy may not be real, you can still buy your very own Rat Boy T-shirt to remember him by. “Be the first one on your block, every cat in the neighborhood will be in shock,” to recall the late great Soupy Sales in his song, Do the Mouse!

Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, Cabinet of Curiosities, cryptozoology, furry, furry interest, historical perspectives, retro cool, solved mysteries, twisted reality
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Comments: 1 Comment

“Beetlejuice 2” is coming!

May 24, 2023

From Batman to Beetlejuice, Michael Keaton has played them all…and if there’s one movie sequel that he’s wanted to make, it’s been of The Ghost With The Most. Well, in September our long wait will be over with Beetlejuice 2 due to arrive! Our favorite bio-exorcist will again thank heavens be played by Michael Keaton, who after 35 years can probably play the role with less makeup.- -Yes, Beetlejuice will finally be back, and “more juicier than ever!” I’m in…

In the sequel which acknowledges the passage of time, the goth girl Lydia from the original movie has grown up, and had children of her own. Jenna Ortega, titular character from the Netflix series Wednesday has been brilliantly cast to play the daughter, which should be right up her alley.

In Beetlejuice 2, we will again return to the strangely bureaucratic world of the afterlife, although plot details have been few and are tightly under wraps. Presumably we’ll get to hear more of Harry Bellafonte’s Calypso music score. There has been reference made not only to Lydia’s daughter, however, but also to Beetlejuice’s WIFE, so we know that Beetlejuice is truly a soul in hell…

I’m really looking forward to revisiting the dark and at times grotesque world of this fantasy/horror/comedy, and can’t wait to hear Beetlejuice once more announce, “It’s showtime!”

Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, Brilliant but twisted, horror, humor, movies
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Rock this “House” on Netflix!

April 14, 2023

Stop-motion animation has progressed a lot since the days of the 1960’s Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, and The House on Netflix, like Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio, illustrates this beautifully! The House is a trio of stories loosely centered around a house occupied by different parties, the house itself seemingly morphing in both size and location. Presenting as kind of a surreal, seductive nightmare, The House at times is quite charming before luring us into disturbing reality violations and explorations of themes like frustrated ambitions and appearances versus realities.

The first family to inhabit the house are human, and are rather whimsical, Muppet-appearing creatures, with something quite British about them. Living a happy but lackluster lower middle-class existence, they essentially buy into the plans of a mad architect to live in a house he builds for them, ultimately falling prey to their own greed and ignorance. Nothing is as it appears to be in The House…

Segments two and three involve anthropomorphic animals in the house, with the second chapter detailing a kind of rat real estate agent who tries to sell the house while battling the bugs that infest it. There is a musical song and dance extravaganza involving the “fur beetles,” the likes of which hasn’t been seen since the dancing cockroaches of the movie-version of Cats. It’s utterly nauseating, but you can’t look away from it, either. Horror mesmerizes…

Segment three, my personal favorite, is for the felines, with hard-working calico cat Rosa seeking to convert the house into rental units, dealing with constant setbacks and non-paying tenants. One of her renters tries to pay Rosa with a fish, whereas the other, a very new-age type of cat, offers a crystal in lieu of rent. Eventually the property is flood-inundated, and Rosa must join her tenants in a makeshift flotilla of boats, some crafted from timbers of the house. This actually represents a kind of liberation from the entrapments of possessions and materialism. The cats really don’t know what lies ahead, but really, do any of us?

Although heavy on anthropomorphic animals, The House is adult animation, not for children who might find its contents disturbing. Although it’s cute and cozy at times, The House has horrific elements, and kind of sneaks up on you at times. The best subtle horror can do that. The House will make you think, but you wouldn’t want to live within its walls, because it’s a stop-motion nightmare…

Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, furry, furry films, furry horror, horror, strange
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Comments: 3 Comments

My Official Denial…

March 27, 2023

Just for the record…I did not…have sex…with Stormy Vixen! Nothing happened. I’m innocent of any wrongdoing, and have done nothing wrong. I’m being treated very unfairly by the media. If any money traded hands, I assumed that it was for Girl Scout cookies. I eat lotsa cookies! It’s all a witch hunt, ‘ya see…

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it…ahem! 😁

Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, furry, furry satire, humor
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Comments: 4 Comments

NJM’s “Therapy” Commercial…

March 11, 2023

Being a mascot therapist must be a highly specialized niche within psychotherapy, and a sweet gig if you can get it. The clients are all quite remarkable, like the green catfish mascot who’s questioning his whole existence, and having anxiety over the fact that NJM has no mascots. “Identity crisis,” writes the therapist dutifully in her note pad…

Prompted to tell her more, the giant catfish comments almost tearfully that he also can’t seem to blink. “I meant more about NJM,” redirects the therapist.– –Ohh, the angst, the suffering here! We hear a muffled wailing sound, and the scene shifts to the waiting room, where we see a penguin and a robot mascot on the couch, awaiting their turn with the doctor. They are all good mascots with their tales of woe, no doubt, but unfortunately NJM doesn’t use mascots. Pity that, because these all look like good mascots…

Now if these fellows can’t find employment as mascots, surely they could fit into the Otherkin community… 🦊

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, furry television, twisted reality
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Comments: 5 Comments

Tubi’s “Rabbit Hole” Commercial…

February 13, 2023

Being kidnapped by a giant rabbit is probably not one of the fears or phobias that you have, but after viewing this commercial, it may become one! These aggressive pursuit-rabbits are physically waylaying people in a variety of settings, carrying or dragging them to the Tubi streaming service rabbit hole, and casting them into it! Think that you’re safe in your car? Think again…the bunnies mob a group of vehicles stopped in traffic, extracting their occupants. They’ll kick your chair out from under you, and drag you by your heels! It’s a curious mix of cuteness meets the unexpectedly terrifying. Yes, there’s a Donnie Darko vibe here, and the rabbits are not especially gentle…

As they are flung down the enormous rabbit-hole (one is kicked) , the victims do not suffer cardiac arrest, but seemingly have expressions of surprised delight on their faces from the many Tubi offerings that they behold during their descent. So much for fear of falling…this may be the last thing that you see…

Not the best known streaming service, Tubi’s intent during their 2023 Super Bowl ads seems to be to make people aware of their existence through a novel device. “Find rabbit holes you didn’t know you were looking for?” You may never see rabbits the same way again… 🙀


https://youtu.be/GtyxWvifru8

Categories: absurdities, advertising, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 3 Comments

The NJM Narwhal and Nemesis “Carl…”

January 26, 2023

For a company that boasts of “no talking animals or irritating jingles,” the NJM insurance company has given us some great ones. And what’s wrong with talking animals, I want to know? Sirs, I am one! 🦊

One of the first great talking animals that NJM has given us was this full-suited narwhal. Now it’s not everyday that you run across someone in a narwhal fursuit, and this fellow has the best intentions…he just wants to audition to be the NJM mascot, and gets zero tolerance. The poor fellow seems to have a flaccid horn…don’t they have a drug now that you can take for that? No wait, that’s the infamous “bent carrot” commercials for Peyronie’s Disease, thanks to which we’ll never see misshaped carrots the same way again…aargh! 😾

Anyways, the NJM receptionist sics laid-back security guard Carl on the poor would-be narwhal mascot to usher him from the building. Wearing a full-body narwhal costume isn’t all peaches and crèam; it’s easy to fall on stairs, for example…

Now Carl the Security Guard played by Scott Watson ordinarily has a boring and uneventful job, except when blue narwhals show up. He is unflappable, and plays the role to deadpan perfection, even in this surreal circumstance. He is the perfect foil to the irrepressible narwhal, ebulliently played by Jared M. Smith.

The narwhal is not easily discouraged or defeated, and in subsequent commercials tries to re-enter the premises, including by vehicle again to be thwarted by Carl. “I’m outta here!,” blusters the narwhal, only to find that his flippers make poor appendages for operating a car…

So catch the delightful rivalry of Narwhal vs. Carl, which to me is vaguely reminiscent of Charlie the Tuna trying to get Starkist to take him in those old commercials. This might be a great live action cartoon…

And now for the first time ever, we bring you the fox-narwhal hybrid. Yes, I think I could get into that character! Please note that my horn isn’t floppy or bent. Everyone sing now: “Fox-narwhals, fox-narwhals, swimming in the ocean, and causing a commotion, because they are so awesome…“

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, aquatic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, humor, television
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Comments: 6 Comments

Liberty Mutual’s “Catchy Tune…Squirrel Squad”

January 24, 2023

If you’ve ever been to a Chuck E. Cheese place or visited the Orlando, Florida area in times past, you’ve probably had contact with those animatronic animal robot bands that may have been high tech at one time, but now are more cornball and laughable than anything else. Liberty Mutual recreates the look and feel of those vintage robot animal bands in their recent commercial, “Catchy Tune.” You see, if a catchy tune can be implanted as an ear worm in your head, perhaps you’ll be more likely to think of the company or product it promotes should you want to buy something as mundane and unexciting as insurance.

What’s more, it appears that this animatronic Squirrel Squad band exists on a miniature stage neatly squirreled away (pun intended) right inside a wall of your very own house, ready to be summoned forth at any time! That would get old in what…a minute or two? You might even say that this Squirrel Squad would drive you nuts! What would be more appropriate, actually? But I kinda like the drummer…and hey, these guys work for peanuts! I demand pizza or some Chinese noms…. 🦊



(What?…I’ve played a few gigs…)

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 4 Comments

“Catering by Linda” Progressive Commercial…

January 20, 2023

The world of anthropomorphic singing fruits and vegetables is one that I usually don’t visit, being that it’s too “trippy” for me if not outright nightmare fuel. One wonders exactly what spices small business owner “Linda” is adding to her stewpot, but I’ll leave that to the authorities to determine…

Anyways, as singing carrots, onions, and other ingredients tunefully offer themselves and others of their kind to Linda’s blade for slicing and dicing, we are wondering if we’re witnessing renegade Muppets, a rejected episode of Pee-Wee’s Playhouse, or perhaps some kind of off-beat horror movie. An assistant then advises Linda that their delivery van has been sideswiped, and she must inspect the loss of mirror there suffered, and then call Progressive, through which she has small business insurance…

It’s not long thereafter that Linda can return to “living the dream,” unless you are one of her ingredients, I suppose, who must then be living a nightmare… 🦊

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, television
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NJM’s “The Breakup” Walrus…

January 16, 2023

I find anthropomorphic walruses rather unsettling, although I’ve seen some portly balding dudes with brushy mustaches who rather resembled walruses; think Wilford Brimley! NJM has brought us some rather outstanding anthropomorphic animals in the past, including a standout ferret. He was a winner, whereas this guy is just disturbing…

In the commercial, the lady announces to her walrus dinner-date who symbolizes her former insurance company that she is breaking up with him, and going with NJM, a company that the walrus notes does not even have a mascot. The walrus is disturbed, and leaves in a huff, announcing that he is not then paying for dinner! The lady says that this is fine, as she’s saving money with NJM. The walrus waddles off in a huff, leaving us to notice the amazing details in his costume, flippers and all. I just think that the commercial could have gotten more into some walrus behaviors, like having him throw down an entire raw fish for dinner.

It’s important to remember that no actual walruses feelings were hurt in the making of this commercial.- – Goo goo goo joob!

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 6 Comments

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