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“Beetlejuice 2” is coming!

May 24, 2023

From Batman to Beetlejuice, Michael Keaton has played them all…and if there’s one movie sequel that he’s wanted to make, it’s been of The Ghost With The Most. Well, in September our long wait will be over with Beetlejuice 2 due to arrive! Our favorite bio-exorcist will again thank heavens be played by Michael Keaton, who after 35 years can probably play the role with less makeup.- -Yes, Beetlejuice will finally be back, and “more juicier than ever!” I’m in…

In the sequel which acknowledges the passage of time, the goth girl Lydia from the original movie has grown up, and had children of her own. Jenna Ortega, titular character from the Netflix series Wednesday has been brilliantly cast to play the daughter, which should be right up her alley.

In Beetlejuice 2, we will again return to the strangely bureaucratic world of the afterlife, although plot details have been few and are tightly under wraps. Presumably we’ll get to hear more of Harry Bellafonte’s Calypso music score. There has been reference made not only to Lydia’s daughter, however, but also to Beetlejuice’s WIFE, so we know that Beetlejuice is truly a soul in hell…

I’m really looking forward to revisiting the dark and at times grotesque world of this fantasy/horror/comedy, and can’t wait to hear Beetlejuice once more announce, “It’s showtime!”

Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, Brilliant but twisted, horror, humor, movies
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Comments: 2 Comments

My Official Denial…

March 27, 2023

Just for the record…I did not…have sex…with Stormy Vixen! Nothing happened. I’m innocent of any wrongdoing, and have done nothing wrong. I’m being treated very unfairly by the media. If any money traded hands, I assumed that it was for Girl Scout cookies. I eat lotsa cookies! It’s all a witch hunt, ‘ya see…

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it…ahem! 😁

Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, furry, furry satire, humor
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Comments: 4 Comments

Wednesday Addams; Her Catsuit and Dance…

February 4, 2023

I hope that you’ll indulge me one more time if I expand my previous post to elaborate a bit on Wednesday Addams’ catsuit as she memorably wore it in team competition during the Netflix series. The catsuit is leather-like, pieced-together, and evocative of that worn by Edward Scissorhands in the Tim Burton movie of the same name. Wednesday wears it well, Murrr! Sorry, she’s bringing out the feral in me…

Copies of the outfit are presently selling briskly! Actress Jenna Ortega had to request that the outfit be modified to allow for…err, bodily functions, as originally there was no provision for that in the suit’s design. Once you were in the catsuit, you were in it for the day’s filming…

And in addition to gravedigging, performing autopsies, and staring uncomfortably, Wednesday enjoys dancing, performing this memorable turn in the series as seen below. I’ve heard the dance compared to an elaborate mating dance by a Bird of Paradise. Notice the claw-like hand movements, and the “broken neck” pose at one point in the video. Wednesday gives us all freedom to be weird, and I appreciate her for that, even if she is a bit dead inside. I guess I’ve always had a “thing” for bad girls like Catwoman, Cheetah, and Wednesday. Yeah, I know that good girls go to heaven, but bad ones go everywhere, and Wednesday will make her own way… 😸

(Now if Wednesday was an anthropomorphic fox performing her dance, you might have something like this…) 🦊

Categories: alternative realities, Brilliant but twisted, furry, horror, humor, television
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The NJM Narwhal and Nemesis “Carl…”

January 26, 2023

For a company that boasts of “no talking animals or irritating jingles,” the NJM insurance company has given us some great ones. And what’s wrong with talking animals, I want to know? Sirs, I am one! 🦊

One of the first great talking animals that NJM has given us was this full-suited narwhal. Now it’s not everyday that you run across someone in a narwhal fursuit, and this fellow has the best intentions…he just wants to audition to be the NJM mascot, and gets zero tolerance. The poor fellow seems to have a flaccid horn…don’t they have a drug now that you can take for that? No wait, that’s the infamous “bent carrot” commercials for Peyronie’s Disease, thanks to which we’ll never see misshaped carrots the same way again…aargh! 😾

Anyways, the NJM receptionist sics laid-back security guard Carl on the poor would-be narwhal mascot to usher him from the building. Wearing a full-body narwhal costume isn’t all peaches and crèam; it’s easy to fall on stairs, for example…

Now Carl the Security Guard played by Scott Watson ordinarily has a boring and uneventful job, except when blue narwhals show up. He is unflappable, and plays the role to deadpan perfection, even in this surreal circumstance. He is the perfect foil to the irrepressible narwhal, ebulliently played by Jared M. Smith.

The narwhal is not easily discouraged or defeated, and in subsequent commercials tries to re-enter the premises, including by vehicle again to be thwarted by Carl. “I’m outta here!,” blusters the narwhal, only to find that his flippers make poor appendages for operating a car…

So catch the delightful rivalry of Narwhal vs. Carl, which to me is vaguely reminiscent of Charlie the Tuna trying to get Starkist to take him in those old commercials. This might be a great live action cartoon…

And now for the first time ever, we bring you the fox-narwhal hybrid. Yes, I think I could get into that character! Please note that my horn isn’t floppy or bent. Everyone sing now: “Fox-narwhals, fox-narwhals, swimming in the ocean, and causing a commotion, because they are so awesome…“

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, aquatic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, humor, television
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Progressive’s “Jurassic World” Commercial…

May 12, 2022

Jurassic World Dominion, the sixth film in the franchise, is set to open June 10th, and so it’s timely that Progressive Insurance’s iconic Flo and Jamie characters are shown at a drive-in screening the film. What makes this viewing different, however, is that the dinos are apparently able to walk off the screen and into the real world, a T-Rex doing just that, smashing and flipping vehicles at the outdoor movie event…

Chaos ensues…Flo and Jamie, however, are totally nonplussed as they stand by their RV, trading quips about how stinky dinosaurs are. With home, auto, and RV insurance bundled, they’ve got the situation covered, and will handle the cleanup. It’s all cool, they’ve got it taken care of , and it’s just part of a day’s work for your insurance professionals. They’ve been there, and done that…

Jamie notes how this shows why you should always go to the bathroom before the movie begins…and Flo is probably scarier than any T-Rex, anyways… Rawrr! 🦖

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, commercials, extinct species, fantasy, furry, humor, television
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Comments: 4 Comments

Liberty Mutual’s “Spider-Man” Commercial…

November 22, 2021

Like many of us, Doug of Liberty Mutual notoriety harbors a superhero fantasy. So when he and the Emu view footage of Spider Man web-swinging and saving a city, Doug just can’t resist putting a nasty-looking spider on his arm, and encouraging it to bite him in the expectation of receiving spider powers…

Doug appears to have a surprisingly good office, actually…one would expect him to be in a converted broom closet. Anyways, once bitten Doug raises his arms dramatically in expectations of receiving the spider-gift…

Doug is no Peter Parker, however, and what Doug receives is a nasty reaction to the spider bite. “Did it work?!,” asks Doug as he is packed off to the hospital, grotesquely swollen face and all. First the poor sap is denied a helicopter in a previous commercial, and now this. I guess most of us aren’t destined to have superpowers, but we’ll keep the fantasy alive… 🦊

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, avian, Brilliant but twisted, furry, humor, superheroes, television
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Comments: 6 Comments

Arm & Hammer “Slide Out of Funk” Cat Disco Commercial…

October 16, 2021

Many of us wonder what our cats do when they disappear from home for hours at a time. Hunt and kill things to bring home to you? – -Nah, they go to the disco where they got it going on!

This feline disco is in the best 70’s tradition, complete with a lit-up dance floor and a mirrored disco ball hanging from the ceiling. Anthropomorphic cats are in colorful period threads, and there’s even a lithe, scene-stealing tomcat who moves like a young feline John Travolta. Yes, this cat is where it’s at!

It’s no wonder that the female kitties are all moon-eyed over this Top Cat. “Where did he learn to ‘slide’ like that?,” wonders one. Why, Arm & Hammer “slide” cat litter, of course! And doesn’t the cat below on the left look as if she’s wearing a Star Trek uniform? Is this a Caitian, perhaps the feline version of Uhura?

I was never into the “disco” scene much; it ain’t what we called Rock ‘n’ Roll! The kitty disco scene is fun, but if leisure suits ever come back, I’m out of here! 😸 Until that time, “Go Cat, Go!“

Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, humor, television, twisted reality
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Comments: 6 Comments

The “Birds Aren’t Real” Movement…

October 14, 2021

Where performance comedy meets reality, you have the Birds Aren’t Real movement. Living as we are in a post-truth era where personal desires and perceptions take precedence for many over objective reality, we are awash in conspiracy theories to which a disturbing number of people ascribe...

The central mythos of Birds Aren’t Real is that beginning in the late 1950’s, federal agencies began exterminating all biological bird life in North America, replacing them with robotic surveillance drones. These drones watch and report on you to government agencies who in turn sell information about you. – – Don’t believe this? Well, have you ever seen a baby pigeon?!- – And why do you think that birds fly away when you approach them?

Now you see, Birds Aren’t Real is an organization that holds rallies and tours, much like other conspiracy groups that advance claims unbacked by science or factual evidence. It’s leader is Peter McIndoe, an earnest-appearing young man who blends parody and reality seamlessly. He has been spreading his gospel as a “bird truther” since 2016.

Alfred Hitchcock tried to warn us about avian attack drones many years ago in his prophetic film, The Birds. Shouldn’t we be putting up massive domes to keep these “undesirables” out? Remember the Avian Flu? Who knows what horrors some hidden laboratory is creating to be carried by these feathered fiends next?

And Big Bird, come on! Surely you don’t think he’s real? He’s just a clever propaganda creation engineered to lull our young into a false sense of security, and we invite him into our homes!

The revelation that birds are in fact surveillance drones is sure to put a damper on many traditional Thanksgiving dinners this year. I for one wouldn’t want to wind up with a mouthful of electronic parts, would you?! Should you swallow a few components, you probably become an enabler…

So just remember that if it flies, it spies! And ask yourself whether you get the joke, or are one of the people targeted by it. For what is a BIRD but a Basic Information Recording Drone? And bird watching goes both ways. – – Watch the skies, for they may be watching you! 🙀

Categories: alternative realities, animals, anomalies, avian, Brilliant but twisted, feathered friends, furry, furry theater, humor, surrealism in life, things humans do, twisted reality
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Geico’s “Animal in the Attic”

October 7, 2021

I’ve always felt that Animal, the Muppet drummer for Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, might have been helped by the proper psychotropic medication. On medication, however, his explosive and wildly exuberant drumming might have suffered. It’s a trade-off, really…

The Geico commercial begins with an unremarkable middle-aged couple sitting on their couch, with the guy professing that they love their house, and have lived there for years. “Yeah, but there’s an Animal in the attic,” adds the lady…

…and so there is, flailing away at his drum kit while vocalizing such snatches of speech as “Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah! Drums! Drums! Aaaah! An-im-al!

When not loudly pounding on his drums, Animal invades the kitchen, literally swings from the rafters, and slides down the bannister. Remarkably, all his unwilling hosts can do is try to ignore him. At least Geico makes bundling their car and homeowners insurance easy…

In a closing scene, we are shown Animal shambling across the couple’s yard, the length of broken chain around his neck a nice touch. Animals just have to be free, ‘ya know…. 🦊

(…tip o’ the pen to Carycomic!)

Categories: advertising, animals, anomalies, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, humor, television
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Comments: 7 Comments

Yesterday’s Tomorrows…

July 7, 2021

I have to confess that I’m pretty ticked that I don’t have my flying car yet. Now I really wouldn’t have wanted one that looked like a small rocket ship, as I’m more into the retro futurism look. Just give me something that looks like a Volkswagen but can fly, ok?

And another thing…where are the skyships, since zeppelins were at one time predicted to be the future of aviation? I always wanted to be a sky captain, navigating one of those big, majestic craft between the cities, and maybe occasionally repelling sky pirates for a little romance and excitement. – – Why did the Hindenburg have to blow up?!

And where are the robots? They were supposed to be everywhere, some assuming all labor so you’d never have to lift a finger. You’d have to watch out for the bad robots, however, who could be quite menacing, both to you individually and to the human race…

Bad robots were usually made by mad scientists, who are also in short supply these days. I think that being a mad scientist was my role model at one time. I liked the look and the vibe, plus you didn’t have to worry about fashion or hair care…

But alas, the future as I wanted it never came to pass. Instead we got smart phones and Facebook. Guess I’ll just have to concentrate on doing the personal evolution thing…

Categories: alternative realities, furry, futurism, humor, speculation
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Comments: 6 Comments

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