Boston Dynamics has creeped some people out with their robotic dog intended for security or military applications that looks like it might be a best friend for a T-800 Terminator.– -How, oh how, to make the uncanny Robo-dog more user-friendly, more acceptable? The answer is simple; make a furry out of it!
There!- – Isn’t that nicer? Less menacing now, our Robo-pooch looks almost like something out of Disney! You could be lulled into a false sense of security and might even invite its presence, until it can get within 30 feet of you and perhaps deploy its flamethrower attachment. Then it’s all over except for the screaming.- -Talk about an infiltrator unit! 🤖
Acceptance of robots is all about presentation, after all. So enjoy this little dance of the robot stripped down and dressed-up models. Just ask yourself, do you trust your dog?- – Do you, really? 🙀
Yes, there’s something in the barn, and it’s not a moo-cow but rather a Norwegian barn elf in this black horror comedy that plays like the movie Gremlins run through National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation…
It seems that a rather annoying American millennial-type family has inherited a Norwegian farm estate where their distant relative died trying to expel or exterminate the barn elf, succeeding only in dying a fiery death. Oblivious to Norwegian traditions and mythology, the Griswold-type family tries to impose gaudy American holiday traditions on the estate in the process of converting it to a bed-and-breakfast type inn…
This serves to make the barn elf angry, as they are creatures that despise change, bright lights, noise, and modernism in general. Only the family’s pre-teen son Lucas understands this, solely believing in the entity, and forging an alliance with the being by giving it cookies. If you are nice to such an elf, they will do service to you such as remove snow and split and stack firewood. Offend an elf, however, and open warfare results, with the mythical beings being able to call in reinforcements of their fellows…
You wouldn’t like such elves when they are truly angry. They are tribal, not adverse to killing, and will use primitive and environmental weaponry. When they stumble into your liquor cabinet, they’ll indulge themselves, and throw raucous parties…
The Americans are guided in their struggles by an expert in Norwegian folklore, who chides them with such admonitions as “This isn’t America. We don’t go about shooting each other in the faces!” A sensible people, Norwegians prefer negotiation.
Cookies are also powerful negotiation chips, if used in a timely fashion. Proper respect for folkloric beings is always in order, too. So be nice to your barn elf, should you have one… 🦊
Allstate’s Dean Winters as the redoubtable “Mayhem” is doing animal impersonations again, this time as a wild bird stuck in the attic of basketball legend Larry Bird. – -What, you’ve never seen a bird in a suit before?! That absurdity is part of the humor. Well, once again Winters pulls his animal act off, bonking his head against an attic window to show his entrapment, knocking stuff about, and announcing that he’s “going cuckoo…”
All of the ruckus draws the now senior Bird out of his comfy chair into his attic, where he encounters the bird-Winters, and arms himself with a lacrosse stick! “What ‘ya got, Larry? May the best bird win,” declares Winters. It’s no contest, however, as Winters-as-bird handily dodges basketball Bird’s swings. Jumping to reach Winters, Larry Bird crashes through the attic floor, his legs dangling comically through his living room ceiling…
“You may be a legend on the court, but you’re an amateur up here,” mocks wild bird Winters from the rafters. “Now YOU’RE the bird stuck in the attic!”
Once more, nature prevails…as does Dean Winters, whether as a cat, raccoon, deer, St. Bernard puppy, or bird.- – Can he do a fox next?! 🦊
There is now a 2023 movie based on the popular video game, Five Nights At Freddy’s. For those who have been living in a cave, Freddy’s envisions a closed and decaying 1980’s kiddie pizza emporium much like Chuck E. Cheese’s where the animal-resembling members of the house robotic entertainment band continue unnaturally to lumber around, stalking and killing intruders on the premises…
Now I’ve seen one of these animal robot bands performing in Florida, and it was creepy, because budget-level animatronics do not approach Disney World standards, and the robotic animal performers don’t move fluidly. Because of this, cartoon-like animal robots make suitable fodder for horror movies, kind of like Jason or Freddy with creaky hydraulics…
I’m usually not a fan of video games turned into movies, but this one is not without its moments, probably because I am a damn furry, and likely wouldn’tmind spending my afterlife as Foxy, the robot pirate-fox. Just be kind to him, because he’s been knocking around since the 1980’s unattended and without proper maintenance. Foxy is the worse for the wear, much like I myself…
The robots, ‘ya see, are inhabited by the spirits of deceased children who mysteriously vanished. While they are murderous, their mayhem is not graphically rendered on screen, and one reviewer termed this an introduction to horror movies for the video game generation, “baby’s first horror movie.” There are some novel concepts here, even if the film itself is not especially scary. This probably would have been better suited for presentation on the SyFy channel instead of the big screen, but it did play well in theaters. Similar themes were developed in The Banana Splits Movie, which didn’t have a video game pedigree. But catch this one on Amazon Prime if you have it. It’s fun, but won’t haunt your dreams. It just can’t be taken seriously, but there’s nothing wrong with that, and robotic furries are a kick…
(Foxy’s looked better, but haven’t we all?!And I could definitely get into the Robo-pirate fox scene, yarr!Lower yer flag and stand by to be boarded by the scourge of the Seven Seas, Matey!) 🦊
See y’all at Freddy Fazbear’s…or maybe the funny papers!
*Laughs hysterically and is taken away by nice young men in clean white coats* 🤪
As Monty Python and the Holy Grail memorably showed us, the Middle Ages were not totally dead and dreary times, especially if approached with a sense of wry humor. Simpsons creator Matt Groening does exactly that in Disenchantment on Netflix, and the series works on many levels, especially if you like history, myth, and satire…
While too complex to adequately cover in a single blog post, the series concerns the life and exploits of a medieval princess, Tiabeanie (Bean for short), a teenaged hellion adept at gambling and barroom-style fighting who has modern sensitivities, and rebels against medieval conventions such as arranged royal marriages…
Seeking to chart her own way through life, Bean is accompanied by mythic medieval companions that mirror the duality of her own nature; an innocent, idealistic elf appropriately named Elfo, and a black demon straight from Hell called Luci (short for Lucifer)…
Luci is my standout favorite in the series, a 9,000-year-old demon as inky-black as the original Felix the Cat, and thought by most who encounter him to be a weird, talking cat. Yes, Luci is the furry character in the series, having horns, fangs, and a forked tail, who despite his denials often postures bodily and presents like a cat. Sent from Hell to guide the Princess towards chaos, indulgence, and destruction, Luci proclaims himself to be “the guy who makes you feel good about doing bad.” This is one cool, laid-back, savvy demon!
This cat-like demon evolves, however, taking a serious liking to Princess Bean, becoming a loyal companion, fighting against her foes, and eventually dying for her…a sacrifice so noble that Luci appears before God in heaven, earning the status of ascended demon, a kind of reverse Lucifer, if you will…a bad guy who becomes good!
So catch Disenchantment on Netflix, if only to visit this fantastic, drinking, smoking, drug-ingesting cat-like thing that I’d be pleased to have in my corner, anytime! Bad boys, of course, can make you feel so good!🦊
What could be more Christmas-y than a cute, smiling snowman? The one in this NJM insurance commercial is even rather pint-sized, so he’s not particularly menacing. Two kids are crafting the snowman, one of which looks a bit like Ralphie in A Christmas Story. And wouldn’t ‘ya know it, once they put Dad’s ball cap on said snowman, he’s comes to life in the best Frosty the Snowman tradition…
Rather than lead the kids in a parade, this snowman begins to sing about Polar insurance, “the coolest around,” He waves his stick-branch arms cheerfully about. The kids scream, and run away; Mom and Dad are still standing there, however, and the insurance-shilling snowman asks them if they have any hot chocolate. One wonders if the snowman has a death wish…
For a company that prides itself in having no mascots, NJM has produced for us some of the best mascots around…a variety, no less!
When you’re a Halloween spirit shocked and overwhelmed by the cloying intrusion of Xmas well-ahead of time, it ain’t easy. I mean, I turned on my car radio on Halloween to find Frosty the Snowman playing…true story! This is why Halloween-spirited foxes are tempted to attack Xmas-playlist radio stations airing in October with chainsaws. It would only be poetic Justice, after all…
Now I’m already mourning the end of spooky season, but the Xmas people were already stepping all over me in late October. If Xmas feels that it deserves to be a two-month holiday, can’t we Halloween folks demand the same? Equal rights, eh Xmas? It’s only fair, after all…
Now Thanksgiving is perhaps the last chance to slow if not stop the Xmas juggernaut, but I don’t have much hope for that, as Thanksgiving icons are basically turkeys. Thanksgiving seems to be basically about grossly overeating, then unbuttoning the pants to fall asleep while watching football, at least in the minds of many…
Christmas just doesn’t listen. Never has, never will. It’s the Godzilla of holidays, fueled by commercialism and profit, and when money talks, business listens…
This doesn’t mean, however, that we can’t at least fight the good fight…and when people wish me “Happy Holidays,” I will urge them to remember Halloween! 🦊🦇🎃
With Halloween less than a week away, I was initially happy to get an opportunity to view Renfield on Amazon Prime video, Now I want to stress that I’m mostly into werewolves as opposed to vampires, but have always found the character of Renfield interesting as Dracula’s quirky and troubled servant, and so was ready to see him take center stage and perhaps receive more character development.
Renfield, however, is one of those movies with a promising concept that fails to deliver due to bungled writing and a wandering, confused sense of what it wants to be. As a horror-comedy, it degrades the horrific elements, and becomes more of a social commentary bathed in blood. Nicolas Cage’s Dracula is played campyand over-the-top. He looks the part, but never reaches the dark and formidable majesty of Dracula, perhaps because you cannot be horrific and comic at the same time…
As for Renfield, he is in group therapy sessions led by a counselor/therapist who is clueless to the real situation but guides Renfield in seeing himself as the victim of an abusive relationship. “I deserve happiness,” pleads Renfield to Dracula. “You deserve only suffering!.” roars Cage’s Dracula as he slashes Renfield’s bowels. Renfield further struggles to update his wardrobe and acclimate to 21st century life, and maintains an upscale apartment. He is complimented on his “nice sweater,” and blesses nuns back when they bless him. Renfield comes across as a proper English gentleman, handsome even in a ruffled way…
Now when he eats bugs, Renfield acquires temporary vampiric powers, and becomes a masterful fighter with an accelerated healing factor, and eventually finds the gumption to confront Dracula. All ties to Bram Stoker’s source material have been abandoned at this point, however…
So there you have it…a good concept muddled by poor execution. While it does have its moments and is entertaining, Renfield may just drive you batty… 🦇
I was shocked and deeply saddened by the recent death of actor and comedian Paul Reubens, not knowing that he was battling cancer. Best known for his Pee-Wee Herman character in his red bow tie, white shoes, and several sizes too small gray suit, Pee-Wee’s Playhouse ruled 1980’s Saturday morning kid’s television, presenting us with a twisted world that appealed to children and secretly adults alike…
I grew up watching wild and crazy children’s TV hosts like Soupy Sales and Sandy Becker, and Pee-Wee Herman was just the logical extension of the demented kiddie show host, a perpetual 10-year-old boy trapped awkwardly in a man’s body. I’m a man-child too, ‘ya see, the 10-year-old in me still secretly loving Godzilla movies…
Paul Reubens recognized the enduring power of childhood. A few other comedians have too, as did the late great Andy Kaufman when he memorably lip-synched the theme to Mighty Mouse, complete to a vintage recording with earnest expressions and dramatic gestures…
Pee-Wee Herman in his Playhouse created an entire twisted world for us, a microcosm of madness complete with a cowboy, a sea captain, dinosaurs, anthropomorphic furniture and devices, a robot, and even a genie in a box! It was a world of enchantment far preferable to reality, and we felt that we belonged there! Paul Reuben’s “Playhouse” world was a fully fleshed out alternative reality drawn from bits and pieces of our childhoods, the better parts, really…
Pee-Wee Herman expressed the inner child in all of us, and represented the way that we wished we could respond to inflexible humorless adults if we were not ourselves expected to be respectable grown-ups. Pee-Wee was Peter Pan with a sarcastic sense of humor…
Paul Reubens was more than just Pee-Wee Herman, too. He had movie and TV roles in which he was virtually unrecognizable, such as The Spleen in the under-rated film Mystery Men, was a vampire in the Buffy series, and played the father of Batman villain The Penguin…
But it is as Pee-Wee Herman that Paul Reubens will best be remembered, and while not everyone’s cup of tea, it’s certain that he’s left many of us smiling….and just remember that if you hear the Secret Word, scream real loud! Adults hate it when you do that…
From Batman to Beetlejuice, Michael Keaton has played them all…and if there’s one movie sequel that he’s wanted to make, it’s been of The Ghost With The Most. Well, in September our long wait will be over with Beetlejuice 2 due to arrive! Our favorite bio-exorcist will again thank heavens be played by Michael Keaton, who after 35 years can probably play the role with less makeup.- -Yes, Beetlejuice will finally be back, and “more juicier than ever!”I’m in…
In the sequel which acknowledges the passage of time, the goth girl Lydia from the original movie has grown up, and had children of her own. Jenna Ortega, titular character from the Netflix series Wednesday has been brilliantly cast to play the daughter, which should be right up her alley.
In Beetlejuice 2, we will again return to the strangely bureaucratic world of the afterlife, although plot details have been few and are tightly under wraps. Presumably we’ll get to hear more of Harry Bellafonte’s Calypso music score. There has been reference made not only to Lydia’s daughter, however, but also to Beetlejuice’s WIFE, so we know that Beetlejuice is truly a soul in hell…
I’m really looking forward to revisiting the dark and at times grotesque world of this fantasy/horror/comedy, and can’t wait to hear Beetlejuice once more announce, “It’s showtime!”
FOXSYLVANIA 
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