Archive for the ‘absurdities’ category

Chicken Hat Man…

August 11, 2010

– – Seen at the Great British Beer Festival was chicken hat man, who does not appear to be enjoying himself.  We can only speculate why this gentleman appears grumpy; is it because he thought he was going to a costume party?- -Did someone diss his hat?- -Is it part of the English tradition of keeping a stiff upper lip?- -Is he an undercover agent for PETA offering a visual commentary on the sad fate of poultry?- -Is he disaffected because all of the fox costumes were rented?

Who are we to judge?- – And some things, no doubt, we are better off not knowing…

Don’t Tase the Bruins, Bro!

August 7, 2010

– – Humans who seek to neutralize bears with a stun gun may wish to consider that it doesn’t work terribly well on them, and may leave them seriously annoyed, possibly resulted in you being mauled and eaten!

This is what happened in Anchorage, Alaska on July 22nd after a man caught a bear by his fish fryer and proceeded to shoot it with a stun gun; the bear “went inverted, with feet in the air, growling and crying at the same time, flailing with his feet.  He actually rolled off the porch.”

Now while the gentleman in question escaped being mauled and eaten, Fish and Game officials in Alaska warn that after the initial shock, the bear might go into a rage and ruin your whole day.  Even Sarah Palin understands this, which is why bear hunters carry a .45 pistol on their belt when they go hunting to back up their shotgun.  Using a stun gun on a bear is like using a peashooter on a bomber.

So don’t tase bears, which outweigh you by 800 pounds and are pointy on five of their six ends.  Should you, however, run across a picnic-basket stealing bear named Yogi, use whatever weapon you may have at hand…

Awkward Family Pet Photos…

August 3, 2010

– – I, for one, am grateful to these felines for covering up what might have otherwise been an unsightly display of less than buff human epidermis.  You may surmise that these cats are not overly pleased with having assumed this duty, and I feel their pain.  I would not be overly happy in their situation,  either…

We will not get into a discussion of why some humans choose to have their pictures taken in the buff with their pets, leaving such considerations to philosophers and psychologists.  You may wish, however, to see more of the same at Awkwardfamilypetphotos.com, as well as images of monkeys in dresses and families with snakes wrapped around their necks…

Crying “Fowl!”

June 14, 2010

– – Be careful if you’re protesting in Singapore in front of a business,  especially if you’re wearing a chicken suit!

Police in Singapore are really tough on protesters, you see, with protests only allowed at a designated public park located on the fringe of the business district…so when a vegetarian PETA protester arrived outside of a KFC restaurant to decry allegedly cruel practices against chickens,  the protester was whisked away in a police car, and put  under functional house arrest.  His bags and his chicken suit were confiscated!

“…what I went through is nothing compared to (the treatment of) the chickens,” the protester was quoted as saying.