Archive for the ‘television’ category

The Masked Singer, S1, Ep2…Run, Rabbit, Run!

January 10, 2019


I was not disappointed!  The Rabbit rocked the house on S1, Ep2 of The Masked Singer with a rousing rendition of Ricky Martin’s Livin’ la Vida Loca. With his glowing red eyes, straitjacket-type outfit, and head-twitching mannerisms, The Rabbit conveyed a touch of madness and menace, winning over Alien with a great stage presence and a lot of kinetic energy, together with that “fresh from the asylum” vibe that he had going on…kinda like Michael Jackson by way of The JokerRabbit was deeply into his character, and I respect that. Perhaps he’ll perform White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane in a future match-up…

In other match-ups, Raven easily beat Pineapple, who was voted the weakest performance of the night and voted off.  The identity of Pineapple? — Tommy Chong, who is known for comedy but hardly singing and dancing.  Raven’s outfit was dark and foreboding, with almost steampunk and horror elements, and she sang Rainbow by Kesha…

In the third round, Poodle sang a strong version of Pat Benatar’s Heartbreaker, but lost to Bee who performed Chandalier  by Sia.  Bee is apparently a veteran performer who has been doing her thing since the 1950’s!  When the menagerie convenes in weeks to come, we’ll be seeing both of them again in someplace where your fantasies meet your nightmares.  This is weird but fun stuff, and I’m in for the ride…  

 

“Emotional Support” Blobfish…

January 8, 2019

I’m not unsympathetic to the idea of Emotional Support Animals, although some people have pressed the limits of what may be considered such an animal, and where it may be appropriate to take them.  As a case in point we have a Credit Karma commercial where a female passenger on an airline notices a male in the same seat row sporting a blobfish on his lap, who he introduces as Harold, an emotional support animal that he enlisted when his credit rating caused damage to his self-concept.  The woman advises the man that he can gain tips on improving his credit rating from Credit Karma, a thought which so excites the man that he accidentally drops Harold on the aircraft floor.  “He’ll be all right,” reassures the man.  “He’s a bottom feeder!

Now blobfish are real, a deep sea creature found in waters 2,000 to 3,900 feet deep off mainland Australia, Tasmania, and New Zealand.  A few years back, they were voted “the Ugliest Animal in the World.”  Blobfish are easier on the eyes if you see them in their natural habitat, since the appearance that people associate with them is caused by decompression damage as the specimens are brought to the surface.  So be kind to the blobfish, as you’re not seeing them at their best.  Harold could certainly not live out of water, even while he appears to move slightly during the commercial.

Sadly, no one claims blobfish as their spirit animal.  These guys just can’t seem to get a break.  And when it comes to emotional support animals, I’m inseparable from my inner fox

“The Masked Singer,” American Edition…

January 3, 2019

Aha, I just knew that we were going to be able to sneak some compelling furry images and characters onto mainstream television soon, and with The Masked Singer on Fox (- -how appropriate!), our time may have finally come in 2019!

 

Now for those of you not in the know, The Masked Singer is a new reality show (for the U.S., anyways) in which celebrity contestants perform and compete entirely clad in costume head-to-toe, concealing their identity. Most often those costumes are of animals, monsters, or other fantastic life forms with the contestant’s group of twelve including among others a unicorn, a deer, a hippo, a French poodle, a pineapple-man, a lion, and my personal fave, a rabbit! For the first night, six contestants competed on a paired basis, with the lesser voted contestant of each match-up relegated to the bottom three, and the weakest of that group unmasked and sent home. Victors in the matches included a Peacock winning over a Hippo, a Unicorn beating a “Monster,” and a Lion defeating a Deer. The Hippo, a real-life football athlete, ranked lowest and was sent home.

 

The show kind of blends American Idol with The Gong Show by way of a furry convention. Some of the costumes are elaborate and impressive, and dependent on their individual gifts and the bulk of their outfit some of the contestants incorporate a little choreography into their stage presentations. All of the contestants are supposedly well-known figures in music, comedy, or athletics, and the identity of each will ultimately be revealed as the weaning-out process continues. Popular in Asia and originating in South Korea, the American version of The Masked Singer is certainly different, even if it’s not for everyone…

Mucinex Mr. Mucus vs. Gorilla…

January 2, 2019

It’s hard to think of a less appealing figure in a commercial than Mr. Mucus.  We’ve seen bodily organs with minds of their own such as the Myrbetriq bladder and the Halos stomach, but this guy is a bodily product, for crying out loud, basically animated phlegm! He’s even a revolting green color, so we think less than kindly of him, and basically want him gone, ASAP; it isn’t easy being green, as Kermit the Frog observed, and Kermit had redemptive qualities. The repulsiveness of Mr. Mucus is why we are glad to see some insult or harm come to him, and will remember any product that can further that end. You’ll never see stuffed likenesses of Mr. Mucus flying off store shelves.- –  It’s snot gonna happen, ahem!  (laughs maniacally)

The brief ad begins with a man asking his wife where her cough is. The woman responds that she’s fine because she took Mucinex DM, which sent the cough far away. – – How far away? We are then shown Mr. Mucus in the jungle, complete with a safari jacket and pith helmet. Coming across a gorilla, he asks the ape if he’s seen a nice woman with a cough, to which the simian responds Hulk-like by smashing Mucus-boy with a mighty fist that sends him flying swiftly out of sight.  No tears are shed on Mr. Mucus…sad!

Mucinex DM, the voiceover then tells us, releases swiftly and lasts 12 hours, not 4, leaving Mr. Mucus to bungle in the jungle…”Well, that’s alright by me.” (Jethro Tull).

(“I’ll write on your tombstone, I thank you for dinner/This game that we animals play is a winner.” —Jethro Tull, Bungle In The Jungle)

 

 

Stan Against Evil…

November 25, 2018


A comedy-horror series is a rare and wonderful thing, especially if it’s done well.  If you’ve missed this gem, you may want to check out Stan Against Evil, now in its third season on the IFC network.  The show takes place in the fictional New Hampshire town of Willard’s Mill, which was the site of witch burnings in the late 17th century.  As a result of that history, strange and creepy supernatural things continue to emerge there which are dealt with by the town’s former sheriff, Stan Miller (John C. McGinley) and it’s current one, Evie Barrett (Janet Varney).

Now Stan Miller is a delight as an aging, cynical, slovenly antihero who just wants to be left alone, but can’t even manage to do that! Teamed reluctantly with the young and beautiful woman who is his successor, Stan is pressed into service to battle legions of demonic monsters that include witches, vampires, evil puppets, and even a were-pony! Although he’d much rather be drinking and watching television, Stan uses traditional and improvised weaponry to devastating effect, repeatedly bludgeoning for example a large winged skeleton-bird wraith creature (at right) with a shovel until it moves no more .- – You gotta love this guy! 

 The show parodies horror in a loving fashion, and manages nods to The X-Files and other traditions from which it has drawn.  I’m glad to see something like this still in active production…long may its demonic beasties thrive!

 

 

Vintage Furry…

October 5, 2018

 

 

Back in the halcyon days of my youth, we had Captain Kangaroo, a benign and kindly grandfatherly-like gentleman who sported a haircut like Moe of The Three Stooges, and held sway in a place called The Treasure House.  He is shown in the presence of Mr. Green Jeans (a farmer stereotype), and three of the regular furry cast members, Dancing Bear, Mr. Moose, and Bunny Rabbit.  In their day, they were quite iconic…

Now this was all low tech stuff but could be strangely surreal at times, perhaps a distant echo of the Peewee’s Playhouse that would follow decades later.  I mean, there was even a talking Grandfather Clock that viewers were expected to call to and wake up!  And while his face was incapable of rendering any range of emotion, one wouldn’t want to wake up at night to find Dancing Bear hovering over you.  There’s something creepy and unnatural about that cheap fursuit that makes him look like Yogi Bear on a party drug…

Bob Keeshan the titular host previously was Clarabell the Clown on the Howdy Doody show, and his show ran for almost thirty years from 1955 to 1984…

The Mintmobile Fox…

September 30, 2018

 

Who’s green and keen? — The Mintmobile Fox, of course!  Now normally when foxes turn green, it’s not a good thing, of course, and may signify severe gastrointestinal distress.  It all right for this little guy, however, ’cause he’s just a ‘toon, but one who we can see appearing in a wide variety of settings, beginning with his bed and ranging to such diverse environments as a supermarket and gymnasium.  This fox meditates…he rides in cars conversing with women…and looks ever so cool motoring in his own sweet ride.  He’s an inspiration to all of us of the vulpine persuasion…

The Mintmobile Fox is a mascot or spokesman for a wireless internet service, and that’s all right.  What’s not all right, as he’ll tell and show you, are such things as finger dipping and carpet showers.  We are then witness to such things as people at a gathering plunging their fingers into bowls of dip, and a guy showering in a stall layered in carpet.  I, for one, do not wish to be party to such things, nor would any sensible fox.

This bright-eyed and perky little guy even wears eyeglasses, or when the occasion calls for it, shades.  Catch his act for Mintmobile on commercials, although a cartoon series spin-off would be great…