Archive for the ‘furry commercials’ category

Chantix Commercial, “It’s Time to Quit Slow Turkey”

January 13, 2020


Well, the holly-daze are over, and the winter doldrums are upon us…and just like many of us, the Chantix turkey in a recent commercial fights boredom by finding ways to fill his time.

And fill his time at home he does!  He gets his mail, watches fish in an aquarium, and even works on a jigsaw puzzle…I could never get into that.  The turkey even takes to his kitchen, and makes some kind of concoction in his blender that includes (what else) a generous infusion of bird seed.  The Chantix Turkey can take his time, ‘ya see, to quit smoking slow turkey…

 

Since the Chantix turkey lives in a nicer home than I do, I wonder how he earns his living…and disturbingly, I have something in common with him.  No, I don’t smoke, but I also need to get a life…and wouldn’t the Chantix Turkey at Home be a better reality series than most that are now on?  I’ve watched far worse bird brains…

 

 

Geico “Man Cave” Commercial

January 9, 2020


Forget your articulate and genial “window bear” commercial.  In this Geico offering, the bear is much less anthropomorphic, and is physically in a house, trashing it…

A well-to-do middle-aged couple sits on recliners in their beautiful home, each watching separate tv screens.  “He wanted a man-cave in our  new home,” begins the woman, “But she wanted to be close to nature, so we met in the middle,” adds the man.  The scene then widens to reveal a true cave entrance in the dwelling wall, out of which emerges…a bear, who making growling bear-noises slowly advances on all fours into the room.

“Look who just woke up!,” comments the woman brightly.  “You are so cute!,” she says to the bear, who advances to the refrigerator and noses it open, the door eventually winding up detached several feet off to the side as the bear stands upright and begins to messily forage within the fridge, physically shaking it and retrieving a bottle.  Foodstuff is strewn on the beautiful hardwood flooring…

“You got it!  You are so smart!,” the adoring woman commends the bear, who sloppily consumes the drink.  Apparently this bear, like some people’s dogs, can do nothing wrong.  It seems that one thing the couple could agree upon is getting help from Geico homeowners insurance.  From the mess that the bear is leaving, they’re gonna need it!  Their cost of regular major appliance replacement alone has got to be astronomical…

 

Progressive’s “Pets: Secret Keepers”

December 1, 2019


It’s hard to imagine Progressive’s insurance agents at home or about, when they are not doing insurance-agent things, and this “Secret Keepers” commercial provides that rare glimpse into their more mundane and vulnerable sides.  Who could imagine, for example, that the formidable Flo could get all weepy and emotional over watching someone miss a spare on televised bowling?  Her dog is nearby, seeing everything and revealing nothing…

Then there is the hapless Jamie, shown ironing wearing nothing but his Progressive apron, his Great Dane silent witness to it all.  Another  male associate is submerged for some reason in a bathtub filled with ice, his cat just down the hall.  There’s also the female associate doing the primal scream thing in a car while her dog watches silently; “I feel much better!,” confesses the woman after her eardrum-bursting yell.

Because pets see everything that we do and never say a thing, our “secret keepers” are covered for free in Progressive’s auto insurance policies, you see…and their silence can indeed be golden, for what they know and have seen could be quite embarrassing if not downright incriminating…

 

Allstate’s “Mayhem: St. Bernard” Commercial

November 18, 2019


Don’t worry; Foxsylvania hasn’t gotten into some kind of kinky sexual thing here.  It’s just Dean Winters as Mayhem impersonating a 70-pound St. Bernard dog as he tries to distract driver Tina Fey as she resolutely pilots her vehicle. All of the uncontrolled puppy behaviors are depicted; affectionately licking his owner (after eating his own poop, fortunately not shown), thrashing materials around with his mouth, and barking out the window at other (real) dogs in cars…

…and why does Tina Fey have nerves of steel?  She’s using Allstate’s “Drivewise” app to qualify for a discount as a safe driver, and Mayhem’s “tongue on cheek” performance isn’t going to deter her.  He is, after all, just a baby…and Mayhem may have met his match, although he certainly seems to be enjoying himself…

 

 

d-CON Refillable Bait Commercial…

October 17, 2019

d-CON is in the strange position of making a product that most people hope not to need, but want to buy if they need it, and in advertising for their rat and mice control products have now as in the past taken a whimsical approach.  In the past they have shown a clearly human actor clad in an obvious mouse costume, in one ad being told by a woman that he “disgusts (her),” to which the mouse responds, “Prove it!”  

In a recent commercial, we’re shown instead some almost cute puppet mice at a social gathering, most likely set in a kitchen.  The hostess mouse remarks to a guest that she sees her guest has found the snacks, that mouse responding that “she must have the recipe!”  The hostess replies that everyone thinks she made the treats, but really they were made by d-CON.  There is then a thunking sound as the guest falls to the floor, leaving the clueless hostess calling for her friend, “Judy?”

Mice love d-CON to death, you see…and isn’t it curious how people love cartoon mice, but not the genuine article in their homes?

 

Chantix “Cold Turkey: Skyscraper”

October 10, 2019

In a recent Chantix commercial, the now familiar Chantix turkey visits the observation floor of a skyscraper on a windy day, finding the temperatures a bit chilly for him as he emerges from an elevator.  The turkey then retreats, returning in a jacket and taking in the sights from his vantage point, even availing himself of the coin-operated viewer common at such locations and at one point looking directly at the viewing audience from the apparatus!

Being an anthropomorphic turkey, our boy actually takes a “selfie” from his location, observed by a pigeon in the background who looks and behaves conventionally for his species. There is no communion of the minds or small talk taking place between these two birds; they are not “birds of a feather,” since we’ve previously even seen the turkey driving a vehicle and living in a rather nice house.  One wonders if the turkey would become irate if the pigeon were to poop on his vehicle, and perhaps be driven by stress to fire up a cigarette again.  That doesn’t take place in this installment, for the turkey, successfully weaned from tobacco, throws into a trash can the pack of cigarettes that he apparently carried in his jacket. Then the turkey clicks his heels (or whatever passes for them on a turkey), and returns to the elevator for his descent from the skyscraper.

With Thanksgiving drawing nearer, I do hope that our turkey can steer clear of opportunistic hunters, although it probably wouldn’t be hard for him to outwit Elmer Fudd…

 

 

 

GEICOween is coming!

October 1, 2019


In a series of Halloween-themed commercials, Geico insurance introduces us to Griselda the witch, a witchy but wonderfully hip witch who builds on traditional stereotypes to in one commercial host a karaoke cooking show, complete with bubbling cauldron in which angel sneezes and a thumb drive are added to the brew!

But I digress…in one wonderful, furry-themed commercial, two female college students have taken in Griselda as a compromise roommate, one seeking someone who can help with the cooking, and the other wanting someone who likes cats.  Griselda fits the bill nicely, spoon-feeding one of the students soup that transforms her into an anthropomorphic cat complete with cat ears, facial features, and furry forearms… I’d drink of that brew anytime! While her cooking may be questionable, Geico can really help these students with renters insurance, we’re told.

Anyways, Griselda is a real hoot as is her furry creation, and deserves to be a breakout  character.  We Halloween lovers thank you, Geico…watch for yourself, and meow!

 

(tip o’ the pen to Carycomic for the idea for this post!)