“You’re a GREAT audience, do ‘ya know that? For my next little number, I’d like to share a medley of musical standards from Sinatra!” 🐻
No, China’s Sun Bears are not escapees from a furry convention, humans in a fur suit despite allegations to the contrary!
A zoo in eastern China has denied allegations that their Sun Bears are humans in costume, pointing out that a costumed human would only last a few minutes in the triple-degree heat before collapsing. Chinese zoos have also been accused of spray-painting dogs to make them look like wolves, and painting donkeys to resemble zebras…
Not all bears are big hulking menaces. The Sun Bear is the smallest bear species, and stands about 50” tall on his hind legs. From the back or side, the bear does present a rather human-like appearance, especially when it interacts with humans by waving its paws. But no, that’s not some dude in a suit…
If you blended Star Trek, Alien, and Jurassic Park together, you’d probably get something like the movie 65, now available on Netflix. The title refers to 65 million years ago when that legendary asteroid impacted with Earth, affecting the planetary history forever….
Now if you were to take an ancient alien-type pilot who was transporting 35 passengers in hypersleep to an unspecified destination before an asteroid shower perforated his ship and forced it to crash land on the Earth of 65 million years ago, you’d have the basic premise of the movie. Our pilot and the only other sole survivor, a girl, must brave the perils of ancient Earth, and locate their escape craft, all before the main asteroid of 65 million years ago arrives to ruin everyone’s day. The predacious dinosaurs who attack our hero and his charge are outclassed by his laser rifle and some really neat mini-bombs, but outnumber him greatly, making this a syfy survival flick.You know they’ll survive, but get knocked around a good bit with numerous close escapes, and it’s all rollicking good funthat’s paced well, and doesn’tpretend to be more than it is…
Laser (and phaser) rifles are definitely cool! They give you so much more of a presence than just a hand phaser. James T. Kirk knew this, and looked like a boss holding one. Did you know that his phaser rifle sold for $615,000 at auction? That’s not a bad trade-in allowance considering that it was an older model compared to those seen in The Next Generation. Wouldn’t you like to own a laser rifle? ‘Fess up, now…
But I digress…Adam Driver shines as the alien but humanoid pilot, looking and reminding me a bit of Keanu Reeves in the part. You may want to catch this Dino-tastic film, because it goes quickly to the action, and future tech versus saurian hordes is a fun ride… 🦊
Allstate’s “Mayhem” personification Dean Winters is a delight, often playing animal characters in commercials without any attempt made at animal costuming. You only know what he is impersonating because he tells you what he is, and is thinking…and acts the part! Dean Winters has memorably played in Allstate commercials a cat, raccoon, and St. Bernard puppy…
“I’m a bear,” offers Winters, “coming out of hibernation after the best nap of my life. And Papa is HUNGRY!” What, you’ve never seen a bear in a suit before? He comes up through the forest to the partially opened window of an SUV, peering through it in an exploratory fashion…
Without effort, Winters/Bear rips the door off the SUV, going inside in search of food. “And while you’re hitting the trail,” he elaborates, “I’m hitting your cooler!” Foodstuff goes flying out of the vehicle, with Winers happy to find some hot dog rolls…
When he’s done, our well-dressed bear whaps the mirror off the side of the vehicle, just for good measure. Now your insurance may not pay for all of this devastation, so you may wanna get Allstate to be protected from Mayhem, reminds Winters…”Like me!” He roars unconvincinglyas he walks off, his job there done…
Bunnies tend to take over at Easter, symbolic of spring and fertility. In some cultures and folklore, however, foxes have also registered an Easter presence.
Easter was originally a pagan festival dedicated to Eostre (Ostara), the Anglo-Saxon goddess of spring. Her consort was a hare, hence the Easter Bunny. Ostara’s consort (lover?) had previously been a bird, hence the ability to lay eggs! It gets freaky, and it’s best not to question notions of shape-shifting and cross-species relationships. This notion of an Easter Bunny was solidified by Jacob Grimm of the Brothers Grimm, who believed that the hare was the sacred animal of Ostara…
But in Germanic traditions extending up to the mid-20th century, an Easter Fox was held responsible for the Easter eggs, and children would prepare a cozy bed of hay and moss for der Osterfuchs. Yeah! Now we’re talkin’! German and Dutch settlers brought the tradition of the Easter fox to the U.S. in the 18th century, where rabbits gradually took over the Easter duties…
But for those of us who are fur-ious that a rabbit supplanted us, we await the restoration of the true Easter fox to his proper post of rightful honor… 🦊
As the movie Lamb showed us, sheep have been, well, shorn of proper respect and attention in the animal kingdom. They have untapped potential as pets and child-surrogates. This is brought to our attention in a recent commercial for Volkswagen’s Tiguan.
So what happens when you allow a wayward sheep into your VW Tiguan, and take him home with you? Well, he or she becomes much like a dog, hanging out the vehicle’s window, and making themselves at home in your home, demanding walks, drinking from the toilet, making a mess when you’re away, and adorably taking a bath while bleating.—Ahh, the many joys of pet-parenting!
Life gets bigger, you see, when you break from the herd. So “make your own kind of music.” Who am I to judge? Just don’t call your new ovine pet Lambchop. They might get the wrong idea…🐑
The Big Bad Wolf continues to find new life in fresh incarnations, and this minute-long anti-smoking promo, while five years old, may have passed most of us by, and so bears visitation…
The Wolf here is kind of a pathetic figure, living a solitary existence is an apartment with a bare refrigerator. Seeking food, he gets in in his car, guided by his GPS, and goes to Straw City, which is populated by…surprise, pigs!
Now the Wolf used to be a seriously bad dude, you can tell by his leather jacket…but alas, years of smoking have so depleted his lung power that he now is incapable of blowing down their straw dwellings. Initially afraid, the pigs now look at him with a mixture of wonder and almost pity. Old Big Bad ain’t so bad anymore. One pig is so unconcerned that they walk past the Wolf while wearing headphones….
It’s too late for this Wolfie. He extracts a pack of cigarettes as he walks away, self-defeated. So toss the cigarettes…they ain’t no good for you! We preds have to keep our game up, ‘ya know… 🦊
I like Lykoi cats, because they look feral and mildly scary, and I have a dark side. Like unto itself is drawn, ‘ya know! Because of their appearance, Lykoi cats are also known as Wolf Cats or Werewolf Cats. I figure that one might bea good sidekick or henchman for me when a door-to-door salesman, political aspirant, or religious proselytizer comes calling. Then it would be, “Are you gonna leave quietly, or do I have to turn the cat loose on you?”
But despite their appearance, these cats are actually quite sweet and affectionate, even if they do look like a witch’s familiar. Lykois have a naturally-occurring genetic mutation, and are a new breed recognized in 2012. They have no undercoat, so their hair tends to look coarse and mangy. They often develop a hairless “mask” of skin around the eyes, nose, muzzle, , and the back of their ears. Relatively rare, there are fewer than 100 show-standard Lykoi cats in the world.
So if you’d like a cat linked in name and appearance to the wolf who looks like Lon Chaney in transition,the Lykoicat may be your ticket. They’re not really bad, they just look that way; magnificent! – – Rawrr!
Say it ain’t so…Winnie the Pooh as a serial killer?! Yes, it is so in an upcoming horror movie. Winnie the Pooh and Piglet too have gone feral, abandoned by college-bound Christopher Robin and basically starving. It’s not exactly the beloved A.A. Milne characters from the original 1926 story here, nor their Disney versions. Nope, the boys have gone rogue, reverting to their wild roots and becoming seriously creepy. Piglet even sports tusks, and is clad in black…
In a scene which to me seems reminiscent of Steven King’s Christine, Pooh-bear is driving an ominous-looking vehicle. Just don’t bother looking for Eeyore the donkey, although you’ll see his tombstone. The boys have already killed and eaten him…
With the Winnie the Pooh tale now in the public domain, liberties may be taken with the classic story, although the film strives not to run afoul of Disney copyrights by omitting certain characters like Tigger, and changing the clothing styles of others. Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey is not a big budget horror movie, and was supposedly shot in just ten days.
So be afraid, be very afraid of Pooh and Piglet sneaking up on you in your bath. In this horror comedy, you might not even recognize them anymore.- – Aieee! 🙀
I haven’t seen animal choreography this featured since Michael Jackson’s Halloween animated special (below). Catch that gem if you possibly can, especially the animal dance sequence performed to Jackson’s Dangerous. But I digress…
In Progressive Insurance’s commercial Timber, we are introduced to landscaper Lucky Larry, whose job is going so well that he sings to us about it emerging from his truck:
“Oh, the sun keeps shining and the grass is green, I’m way ahead of schedule with my trusty team!” 🎶
“There’s Heather on the hedges,” (complete with hedgehogs snipping) “and Kenny on the koi,” (one of which leaps up to kiss said worker), and we’re ready for an idyllic Disney-esque song and dance number on stairs with anthropomorphic raccoons, bunnies, and squirrels when the mood is shattered by the new guy worker accidentally dropping a tree on the work truck! 🙀
Fortunately, Progressive Insurance can have your small business covered for such calamities, even if Lucky Larry isn’t true to his name… ☘️
So let the dance continue, even if there aren’t foxes included in this number. I’ve gotta get me a better agent, that’s all… 🦊
I wish to disavow involvement with the incidents of a red fox biting nine people on the grounds of the U.S. Capitol, and have a perfect alibi; she was a female, you see…
She was a fine specimen, it must be admitted, and I’m sure that many of us can sympathize with biting people on the ankle, especially congressmen, but with nine confirmed bites, her doom was sealed. It saddens me to report that the fox was captured and euthanized, and did test positive for rabies. Even sadder is the fact that her kits were also reportedly captured and euthanized, too…
Rest In Peace, magnificent lady! You just took bite the power a bit too much to heart… 🦊
FOXSYLVANIA 
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