– – In a new Sears commercial dealing with points redemption, we again see Bob Denskie, the guy earlier at the core of the squirrel revolt, trying to save money and winding up apparently in mortal danger. Venturing out in the woods to harvest a Christmas tree, we see a panicking Denskie dragging the object of his search, running while being pursued by a bear. “I’ve got the tree, open the door!,” he implores urgently with the bear in hot pursuit. Denskie makes an additional observation about the bear: “He’s not hibernating!“
We then cut to information about how Sears bonus purchase points add up, making it an easier way to save money. When we are again returned to the hapless Denskie, we find that we need not have been concerned, for he is shown making snow angels with the bear sitting harmlessly at his side. “And I thought you were gonna eat me!,” comments Bob Denskie, alive, well, and presumably much relieved…
– – A recent Subway commercial for their Sriracha Chicken Melt sub features a woman named Candice, apparently the librarian, whom we are shown comfortably seated at the main desk in a busy library. With her sprawled on an adjoining table is a magnificent white tiger, who is spied by a startled male assistant, Carl, apparently returning books to the shelf using a cart. “I’m not sure that you should have that here!,” ventures Carl nervously, referring to the tiger. Candice responds as if he was referencing her sandwich, however, saying that she’s just gotten into trying new and spicy things. She then chides Carl for having an overdue scrapbooking book out, and sends the chastised guy on his sorry way. Carl is clearly not an alpha male type…
– – As do a number of animals, bears continue to acquire skill sets, to learn, and to adapt to human-engineered objects and environments. For this reason, bears have acquired a degree of know-how and finesse, and are able to do things with greater skill and agility than once was the case. There once was a time when a a bear would have smashed a jar of peanut butter to get at its contents; now, bears having exposure to the item and a degree of experience with it can actually unscrew the lid! Bears in some locations have also acquired the ability to get into cars by manipulating door latches. In the past two weeks, three bears have been trapped in cars in Truckee, California. The trouble is that once inside a car, the door may close in on the bear, rendering it trapped within the vehicle. The bear after acquiring the desired food items that prompted its entry into the vehicle then endeavors to get out, with results that aren’t pretty for vehicle interiors, as bears claws are deadly weapons more than capable of trashing a car from within.
– – Want a real life sea serpent? Try the giant oarfish, a rarely-seen deep sea dweller of freakish size and appearance, and the world’s largest bony fish. The oarfish is known to reach a length of up to 27 feet with unverified reports of specimens reaching 50 or more feet. Although they rarely wash up due to usually staying in deep, open ocean habitats, two oarfish have recently been found along the San Diego coast in California, the most recent measuring nearly 14 feet and an earlier one discovered the same week measuring 18 feet. The specimens were felt to have died of natural causes, and their weight was estimated at about 200 pounds.
– – I’m thankful for hairy hominids, without which this blog might soon expire from starvation. And so, good readers, if you can suffer one more yeti theory, we offer yet another explanation being advanced: the yeti is a type of previously-unknown, hybrid bear.
– – I hate to see mythological creatures exploited, and one usually doesn’t want to mess with dragons. But the Starburst “giggly juicy dragon” is not your typical dragon, even among a race of extraordinary creatures. The dragon in question also seems to dearly love his videos, and apparently is easily entertained by them. The dragon must live under a rock not to already be familiar with the “keyboard cat” video, but then again, dragons are reputed to at times live under rocks, or at least in caves. For that reason, the giggly juicy dragon is probably starved for entertainment, or at the very least doesn’t get out much. The “keyboard cat” apparently can really tickle the dragon’s funnybone, or whatever he may have that passes for one.
– – A Texas-based research group led by veterinarian Dr. Melba Ketchum, The Sasquatch Genome Project, is claiming that Bigfoot is real, and that they have tissue samples and video evidence to support their claim. A report by the group claims that Sasquatch is a relatively new species arising from a female Homo sapiens and an unknown male primate that linked up about 15,000 years ago.
FOXSYLVANIA 
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