– – Squirrels seems to have come into their own lately, appearing in more and more commercials. We’ve seen squirrels engage in kind of a sweat shop revolt in an earlier Sears commercial, and once again, the small rodents are combining in numbers to overwhelm and freak out hapless humans. Sure, they’re cute…but would you want large numbers of them hanging on you, as with this gentleman?
We are shown an adult man named”Dave” crossing a park who is converged upon by multiple squirrels, and verbally orders them to go away. The narrator tells us that the squirrels aren’t listening to Dave, and just don’t seem to care what he says. How very different this is than the DirecTV system, which can be verbally ordered to find kiddie movies, and is fully compliant. Meanwhile, poor Dave is left agitated and spinning about in the park with a myriad of squirrels hanging onto him in a scene reminiscent of the rat attacks from the movie, “Ben.” — The horror, the horror!
We are not shown the ultimate fate of Dave, and the squirrels aren’t talking, either. — What is their agenda? Vigilance is accordingly advised!
– – A recent Subway commercial for their Sriracha Chicken Melt sub features a woman named Candice, apparently the librarian, whom we are shown comfortably seated at the main desk in a busy library. With her sprawled on an adjoining table is a magnificent white tiger, who is spied by a startled male assistant, Carl, apparently returning books to the shelf using a cart. “I’m not sure that you should have that here!,” ventures Carl nervously, referring to the tiger. Candice responds as if he was referencing her sandwich, however, saying that she’s just gotten into trying new and spicy things. She then chides Carl for having an overdue scrapbooking book out, and sends the chastised guy on his sorry way. Carl is clearly not an alpha male type…
– – As do a number of animals, bears continue to acquire skill sets, to learn, and to adapt to human-engineered objects and environments. For this reason, bears have acquired a degree of know-how and finesse, and are able to do things with greater skill and agility than once was the case. There once was a time when a a bear would have smashed a jar of peanut butter to get at its contents; now, bears having exposure to the item and a degree of experience with it can actually unscrew the lid! Bears in some locations have also acquired the ability to get into cars by manipulating door latches. In the past two weeks, three bears have been trapped in cars in Truckee, California. The trouble is that once inside a car, the door may close in on the bear, rendering it trapped within the vehicle. The bear after acquiring the desired food items that prompted its entry into the vehicle then endeavors to get out, with results that aren’t pretty for vehicle interiors, as bears claws are deadly weapons more than capable of trashing a car from within.
– – Want a real life sea serpent? Try the giant oarfish, a rarely-seen deep sea dweller of freakish size and appearance, and the world’s largest bony fish. The oarfish is known to reach a length of up to 27 feet with unverified reports of specimens reaching 50 or more feet. Although they rarely wash up due to usually staying in deep, open ocean habitats, two oarfish have recently been found along the San Diego coast in California, the most recent measuring nearly 14 feet and an earlier one discovered the same week measuring 18 feet. The specimens were felt to have died of natural causes, and their weight was estimated at about 200 pounds.
– – I’m thankful for hairy hominids, without which this blog might soon expire from starvation. And so, good readers, if you can suffer one more yeti theory, we offer yet another explanation being advanced: the yeti is a type of previously-unknown, hybrid bear.
– – I hate to see mythological creatures exploited, and one usually doesn’t want to mess with dragons. But the Starburst “giggly juicy dragon” is not your typical dragon, even among a race of extraordinary creatures. The dragon in question also seems to dearly love his videos, and apparently is easily entertained by them. The dragon must live under a rock not to already be familiar with the “keyboard cat” video, but then again, dragons are reputed to at times live under rocks, or at least in caves. For that reason, the giggly juicy dragon is probably starved for entertainment, or at the very least doesn’t get out much. The “keyboard cat” apparently can really tickle the dragon’s funnybone, or whatever he may have that passes for one.
FOXSYLVANIA 
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