Archive for the ‘avian’ category

Chantix’s “Paddleboard Turkey”

July 27, 2019

Well, everybody’s heard about the bird…the Chantix turkey, that is! And while I’m aware that the turkey is paddleboarding rather than surfing, they missed a great chance to use 1963’s Surfin’ Bird by the Trashmen as the sound track for this commercial!

Now there was foreshadowing for this commercial in the last one when we saw the turkey getting out his flip-flops, knocking them together, arranging seashells, and looking at beach scenes on his phone. We shoulda seen this coming, folks. And as I’ve said before, this turkey has a better life than I do. He even returns from his beach visit in the coolest little convertible vehicle that suits him perfectly!

In my twisted mind, I can see Peter Griffin from Family Guy either getting into a dance-off or perhaps a fistfight with the turkey. And like Peter Griffin, “I dream of an America where everybody knows that the bird is the word.” Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow!

Chantix “Slow Turkey” Commercial…

January 21, 2019

It’s not easy being a turkey. Apparently, if a carnivore doesn’t get you, a nicotine addiction probably will.  Is Elmer Fudd lurking in wait for our feathered friend, or a cancer specialist?  Life is full of uncertainties. In light of his questionable destiny, the turkey in our Chantix commercial is keeping active in a variety of activities, and probably maintaining a positive mental attitude as well. This bird has a fuller life than I do…he gardens, reads, mows the lawn, and finds time to float in his pool.  I envy him…I don’t have a freakin’ pool, so the wages of poultry must be pretty good. He even puts out a feeder for the birds…but wait, isn’t that what he is?!  I’m so confused…then in order to minimize the number of strikes against him, the turkey is wisely trying to kick the cigarette habit with Chantix, a program which allows him to go “slow turkey” as opposed to cold turkey.

Unanswered is the question of whether  unsuccessful quitters of his species are the source of smoked turkey; I’ve always wondered. Anyways, I’m glad that this Chantix user is no bird brain…

The Masked Singer, Episode 3…

January 20, 2019


In the bizarre singing competition of The Masked Singer, the contestant known as The Deer looked like a stag wearing a gas mask with steampunk accessories such as metallic gauntlets and a long overcoat. Dance moves were hardly the Deer’s forte, with his movements stiff and minimal, possibly due to the headgear.  With his vocals equally forgettable, The Deer was voted off during Episode 3, and was unmasked to reveal football great Terry Bradshaw.  Perhaps his outfit could be used in a remake of The Island of Dr. Moreau…

Lion gave another good performance, and Monster I thought surpassed their previous effort.  Unicorn’s was adequate but not terribly memorable.  I thought that Peacock did well again, projecting a Las Vegas presence by beginning their performance on top of a 30-foot lift before descending to the stage.  It was kind of like watching Elvis with feathers…this bird can dazzle!

 

The Masked Singer, S1, Ep2…Run, Rabbit, Run!

January 10, 2019


I was not disappointed!  The Rabbit rocked the house on S1, Ep2 of The Masked Singer with a rousing rendition of Ricky Martin’s Livin’ la Vida Loca. With his glowing red eyes, straitjacket-type outfit, and head-twitching mannerisms, The Rabbit conveyed a touch of madness and menace, winning over Alien with a great stage presence and a lot of kinetic energy, together with that “fresh from the asylum” vibe that he had going on…kinda like Michael Jackson by way of The JokerRabbit was deeply into his character, and I respect that. Perhaps he’ll perform White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane in a future match-up…

In other match-ups, Raven easily beat Pineapple, who was voted the weakest performance of the night and voted off.  The identity of Pineapple? — Tommy Chong, who is known for comedy but hardly singing and dancing.  Raven’s outfit was dark and foreboding, with almost steampunk and horror elements, and she sang Rainbow by Kesha…

In the third round, Poodle sang a strong version of Pat Benatar’s Heartbreaker, but lost to Bee who performed Chandalier  by Sia.  Bee is apparently a veteran performer who has been doing her thing since the 1950’s!  When the menagerie convenes in weeks to come, we’ll be seeing both of them again in someplace where your fantasies meet your nightmares.  This is weird but fun stuff, and I’m in for the ride…  

 

“The Masked Singer,” American Edition…

January 3, 2019

Aha, I just knew that we were going to be able to sneak some compelling furry images and characters onto mainstream television soon, and with The Masked Singer on Fox (- -how appropriate!), our time may have finally come in 2019!

 

Now for those of you not in the know, The Masked Singer is a new reality show (for the U.S., anyways) in which celebrity contestants perform and compete entirely clad in costume head-to-toe, concealing their identity. Most often those costumes are of animals, monsters, or other fantastic life forms with the contestant’s group of twelve including among others a unicorn, a deer, a hippo, a French poodle, a pineapple-man, a lion, and my personal fave, a rabbit! For the first night, six contestants competed on a paired basis, with the lesser voted contestant of each match-up relegated to the bottom three, and the weakest of that group unmasked and sent home. Victors in the matches included a Peacock winning over a Hippo, a Unicorn beating a “Monster,” and a Lion defeating a Deer. The Hippo, a real-life football athlete, ranked lowest and was sent home.

 

The show kind of blends American Idol with The Gong Show by way of a furry convention. Some of the costumes are elaborate and impressive, and dependent on their individual gifts and the bulk of their outfit some of the contestants incorporate a little choreography into their stage presentations. All of the contestants are supposedly well-known figures in music, comedy, or athletics, and the identity of each will ultimately be revealed as the weaning-out process continues. Popular in Asia and originating in South Korea, the American version of The Masked Singer is certainly different, even if it’s not for everyone…

Samsung’s “Do What You Can’t” Commercial

June 26, 2017

I can’t remember the last time that I saw a commercial featuring an ostrich, so this gem from Samsung is unusual. Blundering along the African plain and coming across a dwelling, an ostrich pecks up a few crumbs on an outdoors breakfast table, managing in the process to wind up wearing some virtual reality goggles also left lying there.  Our boy’s horizons are radically expanded through a flight simulation program running on the goggles, and so he is inspired to attempt the impossible for his species…flight.  With Elton John’s Rocket Man as the theme, the ostrich extends his wings, and is soon soaring like a mighty eagle!

Some viewers have called this commercial Samsung’s best ever, and it manages to be funny, touching, and inspirational all at the same time…

 

Nigel the Wise Owl…

March 28, 2017

 

Owls have long held our respect and are associated with wisdom, and they are increasingly being used as advertising icons.  Their presence in the Harry Potter movies further spiked their popularity to the extent that some misguided people sought them as pets…bad idea, at least for most people!  

Recently used memorably to sell eyewear for one company, owls have now entered the rather competitive allergy medication OTC market.  Enter then Nigel the Xyzal Wise Owl, pictured above.  This feathered guy has class; in one spot, he’s shown in a library with books, wearing a natty jacket, a monocle, and speaking with a British accent! Clearly, this guy is no flyweight, and knows his stuff; he appears to have the right credentials.

With many allergy medications having transitioned from prescription to over-the-counter status, recruiting a feathered sage with the voice of authority like Nigel might help carve out a niche for another product…