Archive for the ‘avian’ category

“The Masked Singer” Continues…

October 14, 2019


In this past week’s installment of The Masked Singer, we were treated to a singing flower, two birds, and at last, a fox…so you might say that this show is furry friendly, with a high percentage of animal-themed contestants.

The Flower reminded me a little of Batman villainess Poison Ivy, but she had a great set of pipes, and sang her way to victory over her opponent the Eagle, who you still had to love as an American icon, looking a bit like an avian retro-hippy. In a matchup which pitted the Penguin again the Fox, the competition was closer but the Fox prevailed, resplendent in knee-length boots, a top hat, and a couple of steampunk or perhaps cybernetic embellishments. This Fox moved well and had a good sense of stage presence, cutting a dashing figure as he sang a Maroon 5 song, grooving with the audience. Some think that the Fox is Wayne Brady, who has the song and dance chops to give this performance. It worked for me, but I’m admittedly biased…

The second-chance “Smackdown” then pitted Eagle vs. Penguin, and it was the end of the line for Eagle, who was unmasked to be Dr. Drew Pinsky, an addiction medicine specialist and media celebrity. As for the Fox, I’m looking forward to seeing more of him…

Chantix “Cold Turkey: Skyscraper”

October 10, 2019

In a recent Chantix commercial, the now familiar Chantix turkey visits the observation floor of a skyscraper on a windy day, finding the temperatures a bit chilly for him as he emerges from an elevator.  The turkey then retreats, returning in a jacket and taking in the sights from his vantage point, even availing himself of the coin-operated viewer common at such locations and at one point looking directly at the viewing audience from the apparatus!

Being an anthropomorphic turkey, our boy actually takes a “selfie” from his location, observed by a pigeon in the background who looks and behaves conventionally for his species. There is no communion of the minds or small talk taking place between these two birds; they are not “birds of a feather,” since we’ve previously even seen the turkey driving a vehicle and living in a rather nice house.  One wonders if the turkey would become irate if the pigeon were to poop on his vehicle, and perhaps be driven by stress to fire up a cigarette again.  That doesn’t take place in this installment, for the turkey, successfully weaned from tobacco, throws into a trash can the pack of cigarettes that he apparently carried in his jacket. Then the turkey clicks his heels (or whatever passes for them on a turkey), and returns to the elevator for his descent from the skyscraper.

With Thanksgiving drawing nearer, I do hope that our turkey can steer clear of opportunistic hunters, although it probably wouldn’t be hard for him to outwit Elmer Fudd…

 

 

 

The Masked Singer, Season 2, Ep 3

October 4, 2019



In the next installment of The Masked Singer, viewers were treated to an arachnid, an avian, and two mammals competing. The Black Widow’s costume was the stuff of nightmares, and she would have been an appropriate villainess on the 1960’s Batman show.  One can imagine Burt Ward’s Robin spouting a line like, “Holy entanglement Batman, it’s the Black Widow!”  Then those multiple arachnoid limbs would wrap around the Boy Wonder, causing Batman to whip out the Bat-Spray from his utility belt…

 

But Black Widow did have the vocal chops to best The Leopard in voting for their initial sing-off, belting out a Whitney Houston number to Leopard’s “Somebody to Love” by Queen.  Leopard sported kind of a queenly medieval royalty outfit, but was surprisingly a guy!

Then there followed Flamingo, a rather cheesy costume but a good female performer who belted out Sucker by the Jonas Brothers.  She outvoted Panda, another female who sang “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)” by Kelly Clarkson.

In the “Smackdown” second chance match-off of previous round losers, Leopard with a performance of Aretha Franklin’s “Respect” bested Panda’s rendition of “All I Do Is Win.”  Unmasked at the end of the show, Panda was revealed to be Laila Ali, Muhammad Ali’s daughter!  Had this been another kind of smackdown, Ali undoubtedly would have won…

The Masked Singer continues to present a weird and wacky mixture  of American Idol with The Gong Show, and is furry-friendly.  As too much sanity can be madness, I like this warped concoction, with off-the-wall comedian Ken Jeong as one of the judges and a whipped-up audience enthusiastically egging on the performers…

 

Chantix’s “Paddleboard Turkey”

July 27, 2019

Well, everybody’s heard about the bird…the Chantix turkey, that is! And while I’m aware that the turkey is paddleboarding rather than surfing, they missed a great chance to use 1963’s Surfin’ Bird by the Trashmen as the sound track for this commercial!

Now there was foreshadowing for this commercial in the last one when we saw the turkey getting out his flip-flops, knocking them together, arranging seashells, and looking at beach scenes on his phone. We shoulda seen this coming, folks. And as I’ve said before, this turkey has a better life than I do. He even returns from his beach visit in the coolest little convertible vehicle that suits him perfectly!

In my twisted mind, I can see Peter Griffin from Family Guy either getting into a dance-off or perhaps a fistfight with the turkey. And like Peter Griffin, “I dream of an America where everybody knows that the bird is the word.” Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow!

Chantix “Slow Turkey” Commercial…

January 21, 2019

It’s not easy being a turkey. Apparently, if a carnivore doesn’t get you, a nicotine addiction probably will.  Is Elmer Fudd lurking in wait for our feathered friend, or a cancer specialist?  Life is full of uncertainties. In light of his questionable destiny, the turkey in our Chantix commercial is keeping active in a variety of activities, and probably maintaining a positive mental attitude as well. This bird has a fuller life than I do…he gardens, reads, mows the lawn, and finds time to float in his pool.  I envy him…I don’t have a freakin’ pool, so the wages of poultry must be pretty good. He even puts out a feeder for the birds…but wait, isn’t that what he is?!  I’m so confused…then in order to minimize the number of strikes against him, the turkey is wisely trying to kick the cigarette habit with Chantix, a program which allows him to go “slow turkey” as opposed to cold turkey.

Unanswered is the question of whether  unsuccessful quitters of his species are the source of smoked turkey; I’ve always wondered. Anyways, I’m glad that this Chantix user is no bird brain…

The Masked Singer, Episode 3…

January 20, 2019


In the bizarre singing competition of The Masked Singer, the contestant known as The Deer looked like a stag wearing a gas mask with steampunk accessories such as metallic gauntlets and a long overcoat. Dance moves were hardly the Deer’s forte, with his movements stiff and minimal, possibly due to the headgear.  With his vocals equally forgettable, The Deer was voted off during Episode 3, and was unmasked to reveal football great Terry Bradshaw.  Perhaps his outfit could be used in a remake of The Island of Dr. Moreau…

Lion gave another good performance, and Monster I thought surpassed their previous effort.  Unicorn’s was adequate but not terribly memorable.  I thought that Peacock did well again, projecting a Las Vegas presence by beginning their performance on top of a 30-foot lift before descending to the stage.  It was kind of like watching Elvis with feathers…this bird can dazzle!

 

The Masked Singer, S1, Ep2…Run, Rabbit, Run!

January 10, 2019


I was not disappointed!  The Rabbit rocked the house on S1, Ep2 of The Masked Singer with a rousing rendition of Ricky Martin’s Livin’ la Vida Loca. With his glowing red eyes, straitjacket-type outfit, and head-twitching mannerisms, The Rabbit conveyed a touch of madness and menace, winning over Alien with a great stage presence and a lot of kinetic energy, together with that “fresh from the asylum” vibe that he had going on…kinda like Michael Jackson by way of The JokerRabbit was deeply into his character, and I respect that. Perhaps he’ll perform White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane in a future match-up…

In other match-ups, Raven easily beat Pineapple, who was voted the weakest performance of the night and voted off.  The identity of Pineapple? — Tommy Chong, who is known for comedy but hardly singing and dancing.  Raven’s outfit was dark and foreboding, with almost steampunk and horror elements, and she sang Rainbow by Kesha…

In the third round, Poodle sang a strong version of Pat Benatar’s Heartbreaker, but lost to Bee who performed Chandalier  by Sia.  Bee is apparently a veteran performer who has been doing her thing since the 1950’s!  When the menagerie convenes in weeks to come, we’ll be seeing both of them again in someplace where your fantasies meet your nightmares.  This is weird but fun stuff, and I’m in for the ride…