Boston Dynamics has creeped some people out with their robotic dog intended for security or military applications that looks like it might be a best friend for a T-800 Terminator.– -How, oh how, to make the uncanny Robo-dog more user-friendly, more acceptable? The answer is simple; make a furry out of it!
There!- – Isn’t that nicer? Less menacing now, our Robo-pooch looks almost like something out of Disney! You could be lulled into a false sense of security and might even invite its presence, until it can get within 30 feet of you and perhaps deploy its flamethrower attachment. Then it’s all over except for the screaming.- -Talk about an infiltrator unit! 🤖
Acceptance of robots is all about presentation, after all. So enjoy this little dance of the robot stripped down and dressed-up models. Just ask yourself, do you trust your dog?- – Do you, really? 🙀
There is now a 2023 movie based on the popular video game, Five Nights At Freddy’s. For those who have been living in a cave, Freddy’s envisions a closed and decaying 1980’s kiddie pizza emporium much like Chuck E. Cheese’s where the animal-resembling members of the house robotic entertainment band continue unnaturally to lumber around, stalking and killing intruders on the premises…
Now I’ve seen one of these animal robot bands performing in Florida, and it was creepy, because budget-level animatronics do not approach Disney World standards, and the robotic animal performers don’t move fluidly. Because of this, cartoon-like animal robots make suitable fodder for horror movies, kind of like Jason or Freddy with creaky hydraulics…
I’m usually not a fan of video games turned into movies, but this one is not without its moments, probably because I am a damn furry, and likely wouldn’tmind spending my afterlife as Foxy, the robot pirate-fox. Just be kind to him, because he’s been knocking around since the 1980’s unattended and without proper maintenance. Foxy is the worse for the wear, much like I myself…
The robots, ‘ya see, are inhabited by the spirits of deceased children who mysteriously vanished. While they are murderous, their mayhem is not graphically rendered on screen, and one reviewer termed this an introduction to horror movies for the video game generation, “baby’s first horror movie.” There are some novel concepts here, even if the film itself is not especially scary. This probably would have been better suited for presentation on the SyFy channel instead of the big screen, but it did play well in theaters. Similar themes were developed in The Banana Splits Movie, which didn’t have a video game pedigree. But catch this one on Amazon Prime if you have it. It’s fun, but won’t haunt your dreams. It just can’t be taken seriously, but there’s nothing wrong with that, and robotic furries are a kick…
(Foxy’s looked better, but haven’t we all?!And I could definitely get into the Robo-pirate fox scene, yarr!Lower yer flag and stand by to be boarded by the scourge of the Seven Seas, Matey!) 🦊
See y’all at Freddy Fazbear’s…or maybe the funny papers!
*Laughs hysterically and is taken away by nice young men in clean white coats* 🤪
Set in the monochrome hell of a bleak, dystopian future where artificial intelligence has driven civilization into the ground and all but eradicated humanity, three scavengers enter a warehouse in search of needed supplies to help an injured companion. They extract a box which looks promising, but hidden behind the box is a robotic guard dog…
The Robo-dog, like the creations of Skynet, is an efficient killing machine. It sprays the three humans with tracking shrapnel, and kills one swiftly with a firearm integrated into a limb. The two survivors flee to their vehicles with the Robo-dog in pursuit; this mech is relentless and merciless, and it gallops after them, smashing into one vehicle and killing the driver…
That leaves only the one woman, Bella, alive to battle the robotic horror. Fortunately she’s cut from the same cloth as Linda Hamilton and Sigourney Weaver, crashing her vehicle in an attempt to crush the metalhead but only damaging one of its limbs. That damage renders the robotic dog incapable of climbing a tree, and loss of battery power forces it to power down until it can do a solar recharge. It does so, however, and the pursuit continues…
The Robo-dog selects a knife as an alternative weapon, but the survivalist woman blinds it’s visual sensors with paint. It continues to come after her using auditory sensors, and it takes two shotgun blasts to put it down. Before being destroyed, however, the killer Robo again sprays the woman with tracking shrapnel, one of which lodges hopelessly beyond removal in her jugular.
The tales of Netflix’s “Black Mirror” seldom have happy endings, however, and more robo-dogs are on the way, far more than could be out-battled. The dark tale does, however, end with a twist, leaving the viewer dazed and dazzled…what a rush!
Many of us have seen Kia’s “Robo Dog” commercial that premiered during the Super Bowl. The dog itself is incredibly cute and appealing, unless you stare for too long into it’s camera eyes, which look like they could draw you in. We’ve likely too seen robotic dogs actually developed, although most of these are more uncanny and borderline creepy than cute, lacking such embellishments as a distinct head. These dogs look like they’ve been engineered by Skynet to hunt out the human resistance…
The successor to the Kia Soul hamsters, Robo Dog represents the EV6 line, and we first see him sitting forlornly in an electronics store. Seeing an EV6, the robotic dog escapes the store and goes in pursuit of the vehicle and it’s driver, navigating remarkably well until it leaps off a building and runs out of battery charge…
Rather than shattering into pieces on the hard surface beneath, Robo Dog inexplicably survives the plunge, and is recharged back to life by the Kia owner, who adopts the ersatz canine we then see happily in the car…happy ending!
Bonnie Tyler’s memorable “Total Eclipse of the Heart” provides the sound track for the commercial, which reminds us to Live Fully Charged. I’m still glad to be a biological unit, thank you…🦊
Gee, they’ve got support groups foreverything these days…weight control, problem drinking, and even apparently Shapeshifters.I don’t know if it’s a 12-step program, but it’s certainly inclusive, sponsoring a were-cheetah, a were-boar, a classic werewolf (their newest arrival), and even an unlikely were-tortoise. And oh yes, there’s even a garden-variety furry with no shifting ability but whose character is a hippo. She’s readily accepted here as well, and identifies with the group.
In the Creepshow episode, a confused and troubled werewolf seeks admission to the support group. He only has the previous week’s password, but comes bearing a nice box of donuts, so they let him in…I know that donuts would seal the deal for me! The new arrival is conflicted and full of angst about his werewolf side, as werewolves tend to be since the days ofLarryTalbot. I prefer Ann Rice’s perspective of thewolf gift. But anyhow, the were-cheetah leader of the group takes the lupine under her wing (or paw), and she’s a gorgeous specimen, even if not quite on a par with Cheetah from Wonder Woman…
Anyways, the Shapeshifters don’t have long to get acquainted as they have a serious Santa problem, and are soon locked in a royal battle with an attack by a myriad of mall-type Santa’s helpers, capped off by a visit from the not-so-jolly old elf himself, who presents as more Krampus than Claus. He’s truly Santa Claws, complete with wicked blades where he should have hands. This is truly Psycho Santa…
Well, anthropomorphs aren’t going to take being pushed around easily, so with the aid of a transformational serum supplied by a previously-mute member they fight the helpers and then the big guy in the armored red suit with firearms, environmental weaponry, and tooth and claw. It’s wonderful stuff!
So catchShapeshifters Anonymous, originally a 2020 Shudder special, on Creepshow. It’s based on a story by J.A. Konrath…
In his previous outing, we saw Progressive’s “Motaur” suffer a blowout, and I’m sure that we all wonder how such a biomechanical being responds to such an incident; why, he goes to a tire shop, of course! Where the rubber meets the road also incorporates elements of the old full-service shoe store, with Motaur trying on a new set of tires, and the older store employee, completely nonplussed by his appearance, offering helpful comments from his perspective to close the sale. Those full-service shoe stores are hard to find these days; if you were a kid, they would actually measure your feet! Earlier still, some shoe stores would have an X-ray machine on site so you could see how the shoes fit on your underlying anatomy. It was kind of, “Hey kid, want a dose of radiation with those penny loafers?” But I digress…
When Motaur voices concerns that his new kicks might be too tight, the employee opines that he just might want to break them in a bit, because he sure doesn’t want tires to be too loose! A disturbing thought here; can Motaur actually feel his inorganic parts, and if so, how? Anyways, the employee is a helpful and good salesman, and we wind up with Motaur back on the road again, another satisfied customer. Sure is good that he had Progressive’s 24/7 roadside assistance plan! Long may he ride to his Culture Club tunes! Are we in for a Boy George revival?
In future installments, perhaps we’ll learn if Motaur sees a doctor or a mechanic if he gets sick. Does he change his own oil? Inquiring minds want to know…
Biomechanical organisms can be both freaky and funny at the same time, and Terrence Terrell as Progressive’s Insurance “Motaur” is at it again, this time showing off his light side as he motors down a deserted country road, singing and bopping to Culture Club’s 1980’s hit, Karma Chameleon. It was a catchy tune, and our Motaur seems to be enjoying himself thoroughly, even getting an arm dance thing going on. One doubts that a Skynet creation would do this…
…but as fate would have it, Motaur’s free-spirited fun is over when his rear tire unexpectedly goes flat. Fortunately, our boy has Progressive’s 24/7 roadside assistance plan, and will soon be on the road again. This commercial is actually part one of a two part series, the second part called New Shoes, and set in a tire shop.
I just never expected the Motaur to be a Boy George fan, did you? And despite my fascination with cyborgs, I’m keeping all of my organic parts, thank you…
The Masked Singer has to date been a series friendly to furries, and the new season’s premier did not disappoint in this respect, featuring a raccoon, a cybernetic porcupine, and a couple of mollusks. Snail (above) was like something one might experience during a bad trip with a recreational drug, featuring a shell adorned with a top hat, eye stalks, and a mouth with teeth. Something to creep out almost everyone, together with a degree of strange cuteness! Things got weirder when the Snail was voted off at the end of the episode, revealing the hidden celebrity within to be…Kermit the frog! I guess that this counts as a double disguise of sorts as a puppeteer was operating Kermit who in turn was supposed to be operating the snail…quite surreal, and exceedingly strange.
More to my liking was Raccoon, who had western stylings and performed a version of Wild Thing by The Troggs. This was a crowd-pleaser, and Raccoon when leaving the stage foraged through garbage cans that were part of the performance stage setting. It was completely in character, and I give Raccoon added points for that.
Robopine was kind of a cybernetic porcupine with implants on the right side of his body. In addition, he had prominent quills which together with the artificial parts made Robopine a rather formidable figure. He’d fit well into either the Steampunk Universe or the Borg Collective.
In addition to the performers mentioned, there was as a Russian Doll of the nested type most of us are familiar with, and Seashell, festooned with shells and probably a mollusk herself. The costumes alone are worth checking out this series for…
There are advantages to being a cybernetic organism. In addition to being extremely cool, it’s awfully easy to exercise when your lower body machine components are those of a motorcycle; just roll onto a treadmill, and you’re off to the races! You can even multi-task while you’re on a roll by reading a book. That’s right, our Progressive motaur isn’t just a pretty face getting his laps in, he’s improving his mind! We can all learn from this…
In our latest Progressive commercial, as our motaur hums along, he’s approached by a gym rat who tries to remind our man-machine that there’s a thirty-minute limit on the treadmill. “Tell that to the rain,” counters our motorcycle/man in a fashion which reminded me of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s “Tell it to the hand” line from Terminator 2. Would you care to argue with a cyborg? No, I didn’t think so. Our motaur sets the treadmill faster several times during the commercial, and calmly continues both his reading and his ride…
Apparently, there are others of his kind…Terrence Terrell’s Motaur, that is! We had previously seen Progressive’s unlikely motorcycle insurance icon in 2019 as a solitary bio-mechanical being appearing to wondering young humans at an isolated gas station. In the latest commercial, our Motaur appears with a fully-human companion on a mesa, observing with binoculars at some distance a herd of other Motaurs milling about before them.
As his companion babbles about how amazing it is to see them in the wild, he is shushed by our familiar Motaur who just wishes to become lost in the moment…then we hear motor sounds of the dirt-biking Motaur herd, buzzing about like angry hornets. They individually do wheelies, accelerate, and bound over the terrain. Terrence Terrell then raises his front wheel in a salute to his “people.“
Viewers may find the commercial cool, creepy, or incomprehensible but it celebrates the close bond between many bikers and their “rides.” I worry that perhaps these cyborgs have something to do with Skynet, soon to be followed by an imposing black leather-jacketed guy with sunglasses and an Austrian accent. Perhaps we really don’t have to be afraid of the Motaurs as those seen in the field appear strangely generic and not especially menacing…and hey, wouldn’t Don’t Fear the Motaurs be a great comeback song for Blue Oyster Cult? Bio-mechanical beings just wanna have fun, after all, although if their herd passes through my neighborhood noise ordinances may need to be deployed.
The recurrence of Motaurs continues to pose unanswered and troubling questions for me. Do they both eat and gas up, or is one act sufficient? Do they see both doctors and mechanics? How do they sleep, or do they? Are Motaurs born, assembled, or somehow pieced together in some kind of unspeakable Borg-type lab? Is there a cross-over into the Transformer world, or would Motaurs be their rivals if not enemies? Do Motaurs reproduce, breed only with their own, and if so, how (nowthere’s a disquieting thought!)? Anyhow, untold stories reside here, and inquiring minds want to know…
FOXSYLVANIA 
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