Being a mascot therapist must be a highly specialized niche within psychotherapy, and a sweet gig if you can get it. The clients are all quite remarkable, like the green catfish mascot who’s questioning his whole existence, and having anxiety over the fact that NJM has no mascots. “Identity crisis,” writes the therapist dutifully in her note pad…
Prompted to tell her more, the giant catfish comments almost tearfully that he also can’t seem to blink. “I meant more about NJM,” redirects the therapist.– –Ohh, the angst, the suffering here!We hear a muffled wailing sound, and the scene shifts to the waiting room, where we see a penguin and a robot mascot on the couch, awaiting their turn with the doctor. They are all good mascots with their tales of woe, no doubt, but unfortunately NJM doesn’t use mascots. Pity that, because these all look like good mascots…
Now if these fellows can’t find employment as mascots, surely they could fit into the Otherkin community… 🦊
Gee, they’ve got support groups foreverything these days…weight control, problem drinking, and even apparently Shapeshifters.I don’t know if it’s a 12-step program, but it’s certainly inclusive, sponsoring a were-cheetah, a were-boar, a classic werewolf (their newest arrival), and even an unlikely were-tortoise. And oh yes, there’s even a garden-variety furry with no shifting ability but whose character is a hippo. She’s readily accepted here as well, and identifies with the group.
In the Creepshow episode, a confused and troubled werewolf seeks admission to the support group. He only has the previous week’s password, but comes bearing a nice box of donuts, so they let him in…I know that donuts would seal the deal for me! The new arrival is conflicted and full of angst about his werewolf side, as werewolves tend to be since the days ofLarryTalbot. I prefer Ann Rice’s perspective of thewolf gift. But anyhow, the were-cheetah leader of the group takes the lupine under her wing (or paw), and she’s a gorgeous specimen, even if not quite on a par with Cheetah from Wonder Woman…
Anyways, the Shapeshifters don’t have long to get acquainted as they have a serious Santa problem, and are soon locked in a royal battle with an attack by a myriad of mall-type Santa’s helpers, capped off by a visit from the not-so-jolly old elf himself, who presents as more Krampus than Claus. He’s truly Santa Claws, complete with wicked blades where he should have hands. This is truly Psycho Santa…
Well, anthropomorphs aren’t going to take being pushed around easily, so with the aid of a transformational serum supplied by a previously-mute member they fight the helpers and then the big guy in the armored red suit with firearms, environmental weaponry, and tooth and claw. It’s wonderful stuff!
So catchShapeshifters Anonymous, originally a 2020 Shudder special, on Creepshow. It’s based on a story by J.A. Konrath…
William Hanna and Joe Barbera are sadly dead, to begin with. Thankfully not so Warner BrothersAnimation, which is producing a major revival of classic Hanna-Barbera characters in a new HBO Max series streaming beginning July 29th and appropriately called, Jellystone, named after the fictitious park where Yogi Bear raided pic-a-nic baskets, and plagued Ranger Smith. In this incarnation, however, Jellystone is not a park but rather a town where the characters live, play, and work, inevitably interacting with and causing one another difficulties. The mayor of said Jellystone is none other than Huckleberry Hound, who was notable for holding a variety of diverse jobs in his day.
Sound good, right? Cherished animated characters from your childhood? The animation style you may find a bit disquieting, however, as the characters do not exactly resemble the classic renditions. The animation has been compared to that of the infamous ThunderCats Roar series. Consider Yogi here; this is a cartoon of a cartoon, and Yogi, Boo-Boo, and Cindy Bear provide medical services…hah, and you thought your health care plan was bad!
Well, I’m at least glad that they’re getting the band back together, even if they look rather different. The town of Jellystone, by the way, is best known for producing the hats and ties that its denizens and presumably other ‘toons wear. You wouldn’t want them running around naked, after all…
Some of the characters depicted haven’t been seen on television for over thirty years, and will include “deep cut” as well as mainstream Hanna-Barbera creations. It’s just hard to improve on the originals… 🦊
Geico Insurance has already featured Rocky and Bullwinkle and Casper the Friendly Ghost in commercials, so we shouldn’t be surprised that they’re punching the nostalgia ticket another time with a crossover commercial featuring Yogi Bear and Boo-Boo.
We’re introduced to some couples enjoying a barbecue while rejoicing that they’ve finally found their dream home in the mountains when the occasion is crashed by the two Hanna-Barbera ursines, first introduced in 1958. It is bear country, apparently, and while the humans beat a hasty retreat, Yogi and his diminutive partner help themselves to the goodies, all without Ranger Smith in sight. I’m kind of disappointed in Boo-Boo, who in the vintage ‘toons would kind of serve as the voice of reason to Yogi, or at least try to rein him in a bit, usually unsuccessfully. Here Boo-Boo is an all-too-willing participant, helping himself to the chicken and other edibles, which include corn on the cob and even steak.
Living in bear country may not be easy, but from their safe sanctuary within their house the people are relieved that Geico at least makes bundling their homeowners insurance easy and saves them money…and when Yogi and Boo-Boo have departed, one of the humans, Jack, can be coaxed down from his perch in a tree. We also get to hear Yogi’s trademark boast that he’s “Smarter than the average bear” when he suggests leaving the scene with a cobbler to go.
But hey, this isn’t Jellystone Park, and a barbecue at a house doesn’t constitute a pic-a-nic basket raid! Call Animal Control, someone…Yogi’s apparently becoming an invasive species, and may become the recipient of a tranquilizer dart or worse if he keeps this up…and why do bears need ties, anyways?! I don’t even like ’em… 🐻
The Masked Singer has to date been a series friendly to furries, and the new season’s premier did not disappoint in this respect, featuring a raccoon, a cybernetic porcupine, and a couple of mollusks. Snail (above) was like something one might experience during a bad trip with a recreational drug, featuring a shell adorned with a top hat, eye stalks, and a mouth with teeth. Something to creep out almost everyone, together with a degree of strange cuteness! Things got weirder when the Snail was voted off at the end of the episode, revealing the hidden celebrity within to be…Kermit the frog! I guess that this counts as a double disguise of sorts as a puppeteer was operating Kermit who in turn was supposed to be operating the snail…quite surreal, and exceedingly strange.
More to my liking was Raccoon, who had western stylings and performed a version of Wild Thing by The Troggs. This was a crowd-pleaser, and Raccoon when leaving the stage foraged through garbage cans that were part of the performance stage setting. It was completely in character, and I give Raccoon added points for that.
Robopine was kind of a cybernetic porcupine with implants on the right side of his body. In addition, he had prominent quills which together with the artificial parts made Robopine a rather formidable figure. He’d fit well into either the Steampunk Universe or the Borg Collective.
In addition to the performers mentioned, there was as a Russian Doll of the nested type most of us are familiar with, and Seashell, festooned with shells and probably a mollusk herself. The costumes alone are worth checking out this series for…
It’s a charming commercial, with a bit of old world flavor. The Three Little Pigs of fairy tale fame are busy in their kitchen, making breakfast…and Lordy, they’re making French toast with Nature’s Own bread! I love French toast, and this looks more than good enough to eat, so gimme, gimme, gimme! Pleasant low-key European-style dining music is playing in the background. I’d be on board for this…
But wait…the Big Bad Wolf is also in the background, with a mighty exhalation of his classic breath! Is he about to “blow the piggies” house down, and feast on the diners therein?! Nah, not to worry…the wolf is blowing out celebratory candles on a giant stack of french toast thoughtfully prepared by the three piggies for some special occasion. They all applaud the wolf’s efforts, and then everyone is sitting down around the rustic table to eat hearty. All appears harmonious and well, but…
“Hey, got any bacon?, asks the wolf. This is followed by silence and blank stares by the pigs, and you can almost hear the crickets. “Just kidding!,” the wolf then reassures his company. He was only having fun with the piggies, you see, even if the joke was in questionable taste. All is well here with the predator/prey breakfast repast, despite wolves having a bad rep. Don’t kill the cook, I always say…
Nature’s Own: Goodness is in their nature. It’s “goodness that brings everyone together.” And even a wolf can be capable of peaceful coexistence, apparently. It’s the wolves who pretend not to be one that you have to watch out for…
Whoever would have thought that an oddball show like The Masked Singer would prove so popular as to inspire a spin-off show, namely The Masked Dancer? The new series, beginning December 27th on Fox after NFL football, will be much like Singer but without the song, and of course far more kinetic…gotta dance, gotta dance, woo!
Now the costumes on Masked Singer often tended to be both massive and relatively inflexible, in some cases so much so that the contestants sometimes could do little more than stand there or move slightly. Were they to really dance, participants might have fallen over or literally lost their heads, which would have been humorous and entertaining but undignified for the celebrities involved. There were exceptions…among others, Wayne Brady, the winner of one season’s competition as The Fox, managed to demonstrate some pretty impressive dance moves, even orchestrating dance breaks with his back-up dancers. He made me feel proud to be vulpine…
But The Masked Dancer is all about dance, and will feature extravagant but flexible costumes and oddball characters including for Season 1 Disco Ball, Ice Cube, and a number of furry characters, including the dazzling Zebra…
Now it probably will be easier to identify the costumed celebrities based on their normal voices, and Paula Abdul is on the panel as the resident dance specialist familiar with many favored styles. Dr. Ken Jeong will be there as a cross-over panelist from The Masked Singer. Gotta love the guy, even if he’s occasionally annoying with his “I know who this is!” routines. The series will also incorporate Ellen DeGeneres, who inspired the new series with popular masked dancer segments on her show.
So you may want to give The Masked Dancer a look, although the character of Hammerhead may haunt your nightmares. Then again, we’ve almost made it through 2020 at this point, so we don’t scare easily anymore…
People tend to either love or hate The Masked Singer on Fox, and we were provided a preview of the upcoming season’s costumes recently. Shown above are Baby Alien, Serpent, and Seahorse.Additionally the animal kingdom will be represented by Giraffe, Jellyfish, Crocodile, and fictitiously Dragon. The show itself for those unfamiliar with it is kind of a singing competition run through a furry convention, a unique type of cheerful and inspired insanity.
There are a number of “firsts” represented among this season’s contestants. At eight feet tall, Giraffe is the tallest costume ever, and is attired in a style reminiscent of French aristocracy. Baby Alien is the first costume to be fronted by a puppet, Serpent’s costume has animatronic features, and the Snowy Owls (below) represent the first double-headed costume.
So you may want to drop in on The Masked Singer, Season 4 which will debut on September 23rd…
Cat litter commercials sell a necessary if somewhat distasteful product for feline fanciers, and leave it to Arm & Hammer to do so memorably! Those who do not co-habit with cats at least deserve in such a commercial to be entertained, and I haven’t seen anthropomorphic animals portrayed so well in a classic western-gendre setting since the movie Rango, but here the characters are all feline…“
Picture a classic western saloon circa 1870, complete with swinging entry doors, period piano music playing, and a cast of stock costumed western character types inside. Enter the young, slender, white-hatted stranger; instantly the piano music ceases, and all eyes are fixed on the newcomer…will there be trouble?
Thankfully, no…“This town smells FANTASTIC!,” declares the stranger. At a nearby poker-type table, we see a trio of felines, on the left a female “Miss Kitty” type, to the right possibly a dandified card-sharp, and between them a large, hoary, black-hatted, black-overcoated alpha cat who looks like he might be trouble. But no, he arranges a demonstration through the cat-bartender of the litter’s absorbency qualities using “desert-dry” mineral ingredients. Follow the science, I always say…
Following the demonstration, our appealing white-hatted cat notes that word is going to spread fast. “Spread it then,” admonishes the dark-hatted cat. “Go on, git!” And so the slender stranger does…and the rest will probably be the stuff of western legend…
Perhaps future commercial installments will feature “the Cat With No Name” gunning down purveyors of inferior cat litter, kind of a Clint Eastcat type…and I’d love to see Val Kilmer’s standout Tombstone character translated to Cat Holliday, frontier dentist, card sharp, and quirky gunfighter extraordinary!
Turtles have made inroads into televised advertising, as seen before in a number of episodes of Comcast’s “Slowskys” depicting a turtle family with their technologically-hip son. Now Progressive insurance has also brought us an anthropomorphic father-and-son turtle duo, who we are shown sunning themselves on a rock overlooking a camper park. In the near background sits a large motorized camper which piques the younger turtle’s curiosity, prompting him to ask his father about the “moving house thing.”
Turtle-Dad responds that it’s a motor home, a modern invention, to which Junior replies that they’ve carried their houses around with them for “like forever!” Turtle-Dad chuckles, and then responds that the humans have Geico to cover them if anything goes wrong. “What could go wrong?,” wonders Junior out loud when a feather drifts down from above. “Ooh, a feather!” exclaims Junior with child-like wonder. Looking upwards, Turtle-Dad discerns a vulture sitting in the tree above them. “Duck, Junior!,” he alerts his son. Now sharing in the alarm, Junior qualifies his Dad’s response, correcting “That’s no duck, Daddy…that’s a vulture!”
The humans are clueless non-participants in the drama unfolding before them, but I doubt they’d be thrilled to see vultures roosting near their camper; perhaps a Stephen King-esque horror movie is about to begin here. The turtles as they retreat into their shells will hopefully live to see another day. They have warm and wonderful human-like eyes and expressions, and make a nice addition to the Geico advertising animal stable that memorably includes an office camel thrilled to see “hump day” arrive…
FOXSYLVANIA 
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