– – It’s cheesy, and proud of it…Wolfman Mac’s Chiller Drive-In, that is! Many of us when young grew up with regional variations of the “Chiller Theater” concept, a show usually on Saturday night which presented horror or science fiction films from the 1950’s or 1960’s, such “The Crawling Eye” or “Attack of the 50-Foot Woman.” Armed with a freshly-made batch of Jiffy Pop popcorn, I’d settle down before the tube for two hours of kiddie bliss. Horror and sci fi films of that era weren’t terribly graphic and the special effects were laughable by today’s standards, but they were great stuff to a ten-year-old! Some of those shows included hosts, such as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.
Wolfman Mac is cut from the same cloth as such hosts, but he’s lower budget still. He’s a werewolf who runs a dilapidated drive-in located in the fictional town of Hauntington Heights that shows B-grade horror movies you’ll marvel were ever made. The Wolfman’s sidekick is an wisecracking, extremely fake-looking plastic skeleton called Boney Bob. There are over a dozen cast members that include TORG the robot, a guy in a cardboard box costume; and the nutty Professor M. Balmer. During breaks from the movie, they perform skits that mirror or parody the action from the flick. It’s not Shakespeare, but is great late-night fun!
Wolfman Mac is in real life Mac Kelly, who as a kid loved old horror films, werewolves, and all things Halloween. Originally a local show, it’s now carried nationally by the Retro Television Network, but has retained all of its high camp charm…
– – Litter Genie is a cat litter disposal system, not to be confused with Little Genie, the Elton John song. Anyways, Litter Genie features a spokes-cat named Walter, who is a bit of a singing sensation himself. Walter has actually cut some music videos, one of which is called I Haz a Pie Row Tek Nik, performing as Walter and the Awful Pawfuls. My favorite Walter video, however, is a flashback to the psychedelic sixties, with the fab feline performing I Haz a Catnip in Mah Head with Walter and the Wizards. This is from an album called, Litter Trippin’.
– – ‘Toon bears are less common and often forgettable, so I’m glad to find something different. Both Brickleberry and Yogi Bear are set in fictitious national parks, and include the relationships between bears and park rangers, but the resemblance ends there! The Comedy Channel show Brickleberry is anything but clean and wholesome, and the center of focus for me is an anthropomorphic grizzly bear cub named Malloy who is crude, politically incorrect, narcissistic, has a superiority complex, and delights in putting down and messing with the park rangers, none of whom are normal individuals! His parents unintentionally slain, Malloy has been raised by humans, and excessive indulgence in video games and junk food have turned him into something dark and sardonic that nature never intended; this is Baby Stewie from Family Guy in a fursuit! Yogi Bear and Boo-Boo wouldn’t last five minutes with him, and Brickleberry is anything but Jellystone Park!
– – We’ve all heard of pulled pork, but Geico takes Maxwell the pig to a different level of meaning with this when a police officer pulls his blue convertible over in a recent commercial. Maxwell hands the officer his license and registration as well as his Geico digital insurance card. Now it turns out that the cop doesn’t have a problem with the fact that a pig is driving, but rather the fact that Maxwell’s tail light is out. “Fix it!,” orders the cop before walking away.
– – When an asteroid passes within a cosmic whisker of Earth and a meteorite smashes down in the former Soviet Union, one might not be totally surprised that small, plaque-mounted anthropomorphic fish are becoming more vocal than humans. In a variant of the McDonald’s Fish McBites commercial, we again visit with the young gentleman in the checked plaid shirt, this time in a beautiful, wood-paneled cabin.
– – Maxwell the Geico pig continues to evolve; he doesn’t appear to exclaim “Wheee!” anymore, plays with electronics, and apparently can even drive a car. He could use some coaching on relationships with the opposite sex, however, passing up an ideal lover’s lane opportunity with a girl who appears to be hot for his porky body.- -Maxwell, it would seem, is more of a techie than a lover!
– – The Aflac Duck had seemed almost indestructible up to this point…after all, he’s been bonked by soccer balls, whacked with logs, singed by flames, and even dropped into the Grand Canyon. Now the daredevil duck has suffered the unthinkable, involved in an undisclosed accident with ensuing injuries to his wing and beak! In a new series of television commercials, a “doctor” discusses the duck’s disaster in front of reporters, and we only see the familiar fowl as a small fixed image on the screen. 
– – Seems like everyone’s a critic these days, even Fancy Bear from the FreeCreditScore commercial! It appears that you’re just not safe from having a home invasion by a bowler-hat wearing, cane and moustache-sporting bear in a dress jacket who criticizes your taste in home decor. “May I respond negatively about your porcelain poodle?,” interjects the well-dressed ursine intruder, disdainfully holding up the objectionable artifact. “This should be in the trash!,” he huffs. The commercial closes with Fancy Bear playing a piano piece while the properly scolded human couple sit listening on the couch. 
FOXSYLVANIA 
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