– – Even in the rarified world of cryptozoology, consideration of mermaids has fallen into the realm of the really far out there stuff, to be greeted perhaps with rolling of the eyes and snide remarks. Most likely this is because treatment of the very topic of mermaids/mermen has been tainted by embodiment in fairy tales and the Disney treatment in popular culture; we are inclined to think of mermaids as merchandised items, as plastic toys carried about and loved by small girls. If we think of mermaids and mermen as being less like My Little Pony collectables, we’re finally at a stage where we can give the topic more serious consideration.
Specials on the Animal Planet network have sparked new treatments of the mermaid topic, complete with the ambiguous videos and reported missing body parts, allegations that we’ve come to associate with Bigfoot investigations. There’s even a linkage of sorts in that mermaids and mermen are speculated to be a kind of “water ape” that has evolved back to an aquatic existence from a previous incarnation on dry land.
First there was Mermaids: The Body Found airing in May 2012, a docu-fiction including the tantalizing tale of inexplicable body parts brought forth from the stomach of a Great White shark on the South African shore that matched no other known species, body parts that represented perhaps 30% of a complete individual possessing mermaid characteristics, including morphological adaptations such as hands rather than fins, and an upright hip bone posture. While little of the skull of the specimen remained, reconstruction from what was present suggested the capacity for echolocation as is seen in aquatic mammals such as dolphins. Researchers working with the remains had them as well as their research confiscated as they were about to return to the United States, or so alleges a reputed former NOAA scientist.
Remaining, however, are recordings of mysterious underwater noises coming from an unknown source which resembles a 1997 sound recording called the “bloop.” This transmission contains known whale and dolphin sounds together with more sophisticated sounds of an unknown creature speculated to be communicating with the cetaceans. There are also a number of disputed videos, including one reportedly taken by a boy on a cell phone camera following a mass whale beaching in 2007. The images show in addition to whale carcasses and debris a still living humanoid-like creature that the boy maintains to have been a mermaid or merman…
For the record, the National Oceanic Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) has issued a statement denying the existence of mermaids or other aquatic humanoids. Animal Planet has stated that the mermaid shows are not factual, and should be considered entertainment only; the shows are essentially science fiction, with some real events and speculative scientific theory incorporated. While mermaids may be all wet, the ratings amassed by Mermaids: The New Evidence are quite real, with 3.6 million viewers drawn, making the show the most viewed telecast on Animal Planet ever…
– – Camels haven’t figured in commercials much since the days of tobacco pitchman Joe Camel, who was, it must be admitted, extremely cool. Now at last we have an anthropomorphic camel figuring in a Geico commercial, who parades around an office interrupting and distracting workers by happily asking them what day it is. The answer to the dromedary’s query is that it’s Wednesday, also known as hump day. Our two amiable musical hosts then appear, one asking us how happy people are that save hundreds of dollars on car insurance; the answer is that they’re happier than a camel on Wednesday…
– – The season finale of Monsters and Mysteries in America went off with a bang in their “Desert Wasteland” episode, treating us to tales (and tails) of thunderbirds, skinwalkers, nightstalkers, and not to be forgotten, aliens! The American Southwest may be a desert wasteland, but it’s rich in really cool folklore! Of course, I was hooked, and wouldn’t have been disturbed unless there was an earthquake or I was on fire.
– – Seldom are cryptids described as goat-like, but the “Goatman” of Western Kentucky is an exception. As characterized on the Discovery Channel’s show, Monsters and Mysteries in America, the Goatman is reputed to have hypnotic powers of a sort, to be able to imitate voices, and to entice people to climb the Pope Lick railroad trestle to lure them to their doom. 
– – As you’re likely aware, the Aflac Duck was recently injured, suffering damage to his beak and a wing. Now the waterfowl is fighting his way back, with help from physical therapy and the inspiration of Rocky Balboa! In the 60 second commercial, we are shown the duck struggling with such therapy tasks as climbing stairs, treading water, working on a gym station, and jumping rope…slow and sad piano-accented music plays in the background. It’s so hard for the doggedly-determined duck…but then he starts to get his energy and range of motion back, and as the soundtrack of “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor plays in the background, we see the duck working out like a champ!
– – Many strange things may be found in New York City, including people who walk about in unlicensed character costumes offering tourists the opportunity to have their children photographed with them in the expectation of getting a several buck tip in return. These characters are known to frequent Times Square and elsewhere, and may be dressed up as Sesame Street notables, Mario of Nintendo fame, Buzz Lightyear, Winnie the Pooh, or perhaps the Statue of Liberty, to name a few; some of the outfits are poor copies, barely recognizable. Trouble is, the hustlers tend to be a bit aggressive, and at times have been known to bother or pursue their marks for photo privileges, demanding money afterwards before putting a photographed child down. There have been ugly incidents as well; last summer, someone dressed as Grover lost it, and burst into an antisemitic rant in public…a Super Mario once groped a woman, and a Spiderman even punched a mom! Hardly your friendly neighborhood Spidey…
– – In a recent Geico commercial, the company spokes-gecko travels back to the ninth century to book passage on a viking longship and comment on the difficulty of mobile phone communications in that time period. The viking-era ship
– – Many of us yearn for a furry transformation, but there are those who wish for a more uncommon conversion. Among these rare and exotic types are those who are into mermaids, or their male counterparts, mermen. Both according to legend are alluring and seductive sea creatures who possess the upper body of a human and the lower body of a fish. They tend to make themselves visible to ships during storms, using their siren-like singing to lure the opposite sex into the water.
– – Back when special effects were a lot less special in the 1960’s, we were treated to an episode of Star Trek (The Original Series) called Arena where a young William Shatner’s James T. Kirk fought a powerful but ponderous and slow-moving reptilian creature called a Gorn.- –Well, 46 years after their original encounter, Shatner is again rematched with his scaly rival in a commercial for a Star Trek video game debuting this month. The duo is comfortably seated on a sofa in a cozy living room, each one armed with a video controller and engaged in virtual on-screen combat!
– – He understands marketing completely, wears an electronic speech translation device around his neck, and occasionally eats his staff members…that’s Mr. Wolfdog, the marketing director brought in by Old Spice to promote their Wild Collection fragrance line. Wolfie knows his way around an office, and his is complete with devices like calculators, business awards, and desk toys like a Newton’s Cradle. Wolfdog is also a busy rascal, having made a series of banner ads, a number of videos posted on YouTube, animated GIFs, and even an album of inspirational business music called Night Business, with cover art featuring Wolfie in shades and a cool casual suit! His credentials include being Alpha Male for Deciduous Forest Pack #13588 in Woods, Montana.
FOXSYLVANIA 
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