– – We who have gardens know that unwanted animals can invade your territory, and lay waste to the fruits of your labors. For that reason, animal repellents are commonly used, both of the home variety and those commercially made. In a commercial aired by Liquid Fence, they take a rather idyllic-looking yard and divide it neatly in two, protecting part of it with bars of soap, scarecrows, shiny things, an ugly fence, ninjas, and “a Pomeranian (dog) who only works the day shift.” The other half of the yard is protected by Liquid Fence.- – Guess which half of the yard most effectively repels the unwanted wildlife?- -You guessed it!
So if you don’t want the dwatted wabbits getting at your tender vegetation, you now know what to do. I’ll be in the yard portion infested by the wabbits, mesmerized by the shiny things…
– – You’ve probably heard certain types of vehicles referred to as “dinosaurs,” or perhaps as “big boats” or “land yachts“- -Well, in a commercial for the 2013 Buick Encore, the crossover vehicle has to navigate around a variety of dinosaurs including a stegosaurus, triceratops, and possibly an apatosaurus as they go plodding along city streets and even trying to park. The message is that the time of “big luxury” cars has passed, and the next big thing in luxury vehicles is small and nimble. This is somewhat ironic in that Buick in its day has made some of the biggest and softest luxury cars around; we also continue to burn fossil fuels aplenty, so perhaps the dinos shouldn’t be mocked. The commercial’s voiceover is by Kevin Bacon, and the music in the spot is “The Guitar” by They Might Be Giants…
– – The following story I forewarn you is not for those of delicate sensitivities, good readers…but if you enjoy a good gross-out and are not yourselves eating, read on!
– – The season finale of Monsters and Mysteries in America went off with a bang in their “Desert Wasteland” episode, treating us to tales (and tails) of thunderbirds, skinwalkers, nightstalkers, and not to be forgotten, aliens! The American Southwest may be a desert wasteland, but it’s rich in really cool folklore! Of course, I was hooked, and wouldn’t have been disturbed unless there was an earthquake or I was on fire.
– – Mysterious shadows, screams in the night, hairy hominids, and a hair-raising sense that something is watching me…these are a few of my favorite things! Few cryptic creatures are as laughably strange, however, as is the Sheepsquatch, a crossover between mutton and man reported throughout West Virginia and in the southwestern region of Virginia. 
– – Seldom are cryptids described as goat-like, but the “Goatman” of Western Kentucky is an exception. As characterized on the Discovery Channel’s show, Monsters and Mysteries in America, the Goatman is reputed to have hypnotic powers of a sort, to be able to imitate voices, and to entice people to climb the Pope Lick railroad trestle to lure them to their doom. 
– – As you’re likely aware, the Aflac Duck was recently injured, suffering damage to his beak and a wing. Now the waterfowl is fighting his way back, with help from physical therapy and the inspiration of Rocky Balboa! In the 60 second commercial, we are shown the duck struggling with such therapy tasks as climbing stairs, treading water, working on a gym station, and jumping rope…slow and sad piano-accented music plays in the background. It’s so hard for the doggedly-determined duck…but then he starts to get his energy and range of motion back, and as the soundtrack of “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor plays in the background, we see the duck working out like a champ!
– – Wouldn’t you like to have a hawk for a friend that obligingly drops off a cold drink when you’ve a hankering for one? The dude in the “No Man’s Land” commercial for Dr. Pepper 10 does, and also frolics with a bear in the wilderness, tears and chews bark right off a tree, and effortlessly carries a huge log with one arm! Such things are apparently possible when you partake of “The Manliest Low-Calorie Soda in the History of Mankind.” Welcome to the manly world of Dr. Pepper 10, so manly it’s packaged in gunmetal-gray cans.- -Would Hillary Clinton drink this?- –I think not!
– – Many of us yearn for a furry transformation, but there are those who wish for a more uncommon conversion. Among these rare and exotic types are those who are into mermaids, or their male counterparts, mermen. Both according to legend are alluring and seductive sea creatures who possess the upper body of a human and the lower body of a fish. They tend to make themselves visible to ships during storms, using their siren-like singing to lure the opposite sex into the water.
– – Back when special effects were a lot less special in the 1960’s, we were treated to an episode of Star Trek (The Original Series) called Arena where a young William Shatner’s James T. Kirk fought a powerful but ponderous and slow-moving reptilian creature called a Gorn.- –Well, 46 years after their original encounter, Shatner is again rematched with his scaly rival in a commercial for a Star Trek video game debuting this month. The duo is comfortably seated on a sofa in a cozy living room, each one armed with a video controller and engaged in virtual on-screen combat!
FOXSYLVANIA 
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