
– – Being eaten by an airborne shark can ruin your whole day! It’s not that the SyFy Channel hasn’t made and aired breath-taking bad movies before; it’s just that Sharknado is one of those rare hilariously bad movies that has taken on a life of its own, and taken Twitter by storm. For the time that Sharknado aired, there was the feeling that a global ephemeral community had formed, and that thousands, perhaps millions of bad movie connoisseurs were united in groaning and laughing over the premise and execution of this marvelously bad flick.
Originally airing on the SyFy Channel on July 11th and repeated on air July 18th, Sharknado was a kind of monster meets disaster movie production in which a freak hurricane hits Los Angeles, causing man-eating sharks to be scooped up in tornadoes, which then flooded the city with shark-infested waters. There is something dark inside many of us that delights in seeing someone eaten by a shark, especially a throw-away character that deserves it. Unlike similar movies in which there’s only five or ten minutes of actual gory action, Sharknado didn’t skimp on the shock and sharks; there were sharks peppered throughout the film, on land, sea, and air! They consumed fleeing motorists, and even made their way into flooded houses. – – That’s gotta lower property values!
If you left your brains at the door, Sharknado was great fun! Sample dialogue: “We’re gonna fight. You can’t just stand around and wait for sharks to rain down on us.” Fight the protagonists did, with shotguns, baseball bats, and even chainsaws…they got up in helicopters, and used home-made propane bombs to neutralize tornadoes! You haven’t lived until you’ve seen someone use a chainsaw to rescue a woman after being consumed and inside the shark! Contracted by the SyFy Channel and directed for film studio The Asylum by Anthony C. Ferrante, Sharknado will have a sequel set in New York City, with fans suggesting titles on Twitter…


– – Although I never cease to be amazed at the things which offend some people and cause them to go on the warpath, cute, cuddly Geico spokesman Maxwell the pig seems an unlikely target. He’s sweet, innocent, resourceful, and just trying to make his way in the world like the rest of us.
– – The Monsters and Mysteries in America series on the Destination America channel has proven to be a substitute for those of us who miss such shows as MonsterQuest, and featured a segment on the Flathead Lake Monster, a cryptic creature reported to be living deep within Flathead Lake in the state of Montana in the United States. The life form is said to resemble the Loch Ness Monster, with reported sightings dating back to at least 1889. At that time, a steamboat operating on the lake spotted a “log” which later turned out to be a “whale-like” creature as they approached it. With a mentality common then as now, a passenger fired at the creature which wisely disappeared.
– – While we’re certainly not in the business of promoting alcoholic beverages here, the Red Stag Breakaway commercial for Jim Beam bourbon is a dazzling display of a stag on steroids. The big red guy begins his dramatic run in a residential neighborhood, then takes a turn into the city…and talk about burning up the pavement! A trail of flame initially follows the stag and cobblestones crumble beneath his mighty hooves as the stag charges ahead, literally running up walls and on the side of buildings to reach his final lofty height. It’s kind of like The Flash on four legs; what a rush with this scarlet speedster!
– – Hipster Maxwell the pig may have hail damage to his baby blue VW Cabriolet, but he’s so slick that he speedily gets an appointment through his Geico app with an insurance adjuster, and as fellow hail damage sufferer Ted struggles on hold with his insurance company, Maxwell even has time to steal Ted’s girlfriend away, and go boating with her! “Later, Ted!,” chortles the nameless fickle girl. –What is it with pigs, anyhow, that makes them “chick magnets?” Perhaps because they’re both farm animals…
– –
– – Camels haven’t figured in commercials much since the days of tobacco pitchman Joe Camel, who was, it must be admitted, extremely cool. Now at last we have an anthropomorphic camel figuring in a Geico commercial, who parades around an office interrupting and distracting workers by happily asking them what day it is. The answer to the dromedary’s query is that it’s Wednesday, also known as hump day. Our two amiable musical hosts then appear, one asking us how happy people are that save hundreds of dollars on car insurance; the answer is that they’re happier than a camel on Wednesday…
You must be logged in to post a comment.