Archive for the ‘television’ category

“Liquid Fence” Animal Repellent Commercial

May 20, 2013

liquid fence– – We who have gardens know that unwanted animals can invade your territory, and lay waste to the fruits of your labors.  For that reason, animal repellents are commonly used, both of the home variety and those commercially made.  In a commercial aired by Liquid Fence, they take a rather idyllic-looking yard and divide it neatly in two, protecting part of it with bars of soap, scarecrows, shiny things, an ugly fence, ninjas, and “a Pomeranian (dog) who only works the day shift.”  The other half of the yard is protected by Liquid Fence.- – Guess which half of the yard most effectively repels the unwanted wildlife?- -You guessed it!

So if you don’t want the dwatted wabbits getting at your tender vegetation, you now know what to do.  I’ll be in the yard portion infested by the wabbits, mesmerized by the shiny things…

Buick vs. Dinos

May 16, 2013

Buick dino– – You’ve probably heard certain types of vehicles referred to as “dinosaurs,” or perhaps as “big boats” or “land yachts“- -Well, in a commercial for the 2013 Buick Encore, the crossover vehicle has to navigate around a variety of dinosaurs including a stegosaurus, triceratops, and possibly an apatosaurus as they go plodding along city streets and even trying to park.  The message is that the time of “big luxury” cars has passed, and the next big thing in luxury vehicles is small and nimble.  This is somewhat ironic in that Buick in its day has made some of the biggest and softest luxury cars around; we also continue to burn fossil fuels aplenty, so perhaps the dinos shouldn’t be mocked.  The commercial’s voiceover is by Kevin Bacon, and the music in the spot is “The Guitar” by They Might Be Giants

Perhaps Jurassic Park was having a clearance sale…and kids of all ages seeing this commercial are likely to want to have a dinosaur rather than a Buick…

Shadow People on “Weird or What?”

May 14, 2013

shadow – – Pity or perhaps envy William Shatner, who just can’t seem to get away from aliens and other unexplained phenomena; on the new Syfy show Weird or What?, the man best known for playing James T. Kirk on the original Star Trek series seems to be thoroughly enjoying himself!  The show makes for enjoyable viewing if only to see Shatner, who knows better than to take this stuff or himself too seriously.

An  episode of the show concerned parallel dimensions, touching also on crystal skulls and shadow people, who are the stuff of urban legends.  Speculation is lively as to whether the dark, featureless silhouette-type figures are spirits, aliens, or visitors from one of those alternative dimensions.  Commendably, a scientific explanation was offered by a credentialed individual that perhaps reported sightings of shadow people are really, after all, shadows, with the human brain hard-wired to see patterns in ambiguous stimuli presented to it.  Still, eyewitnesses reporting having seen such figures refuse to believe that they are a mere trick of the light.

As William Shatner himself has noted in an interview, the line between being amusing and intriguing is a fine one, and the show is successful in presenting weird stories in an entertaining fashion.  For a guy who’s 82, “the Shat” is where it’s at!

Thunderbirds, Skinwalkers, and More!

May 2, 2013

skinwalker– – The season finale of Monsters and Mysteries in America went off with a bang in their “Desert Wasteland” episode, treating us to tales (and tails) of thunderbirds, skinwalkers, nightstalkers, and not to be forgotten, aliens!  The American Southwest may be a desert wasteland, but it’s rich in really cool folklore!  Of course, I was hooked, and wouldn’t have been disturbed unless there was an earthquake or I was on fire.

Now since at least the 1960’s, cattle mutilations have been reported in this domain, and it ain’t Ronald McDonald or the Burger King that’s doing it!- – Now who could be mutilating the cattle, excising pieces and organs of them with bloodless, surgical precision?  This question served as the springboard for an introduction to things supposedly possessing the capability for such mayhem, namely thunderbirds or skinwalkers.

Now Thunderbirds here do not refer to the legendary Ford sportscar, but rather to pterodactyl-like flying creatures with wingspans of perhaps thirty feet or so, long referred to in Native American folklore.  Skinwalkers are my personal favorite of the things covered, a kind of demonic assassin created by magic to harass and harm.  A type of male witch, the skinwalker can change form at will, often taking the shape of wolves or coyotes although owls or other bird forms are also known, and any shape is possible!  Skinwalkers execute curses at the behest of someone else, and in human form could be anyone, even a neighbor.

Nightstalkers as presented are an enigmatic bipedal creature that can come in different shapes.  Their form is indistinct, although red eyes are commonly noted.  As their name suggests, they tend to come at night, and can haunt dreams.  Claw-like scratches on flesh and metal are reported by those who contend that they have encountered them.

Aliens are commonly considered as potential cattle mutilators, presumably possessing the technology capable of bloodless organ excision.  In the southwest, alien grays have been reported to abduct and “harvest” humans, in one case supposedly removing a fetus from a pregnant woman.  The biological father of this child reported being again abducted years later, and introduced to the product of that pregnancy.  Presumably the kid would get some pretty advanced schooling!

All in all, the episode had great, captivating stuff, but did I  believe all of it?  I see the purpose of such shows as being to entertain and inspire wonder, and to cause us to consider alternative explanations of phenomena.  I love such shows dearly…but I’m not quite ready for the tinfoil hat brigade yet!

The Aflac Duck in Physical Therapy…

April 17, 2013

physical therapy– – As you’re likely aware, the Aflac Duck was recently injured, suffering damage to his beak and a wing.  Now the waterfowl is fighting his way back, with help from physical therapy and the inspiration of Rocky Balboa!  In the 60 second commercial, we are shown the duck struggling with such therapy tasks as climbing stairs, treading water, working on a gym station, and jumping rope…slow and sad piano-accented music plays in the background.  It’s so hard for the doggedly-determined duck…but then he starts to get his energy and range of motion back, and as the soundtrack of “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor plays in the background, we see the duck working out like a champ!

The underlying message is that with Aflac to pay his bills so he doesn’t have to worry, the duck can focus on therapy and getting better…and there’s no keeping a good duck down!  He’s gotten 35,000 get-well cards, according to Aflac’s chief marketing executive, who considers the duck and the brand to be not an image but an experience.   But will he suffer from post-traumatic stress, and require therapy?  This is the 58th commercial to feature the Aflac duck, if you’re counting…

 

The Gecko Meets The Vikings!

April 10, 2013

vikings– – In a recent Geico commercial, the company spokes-gecko travels back to the ninth century to book passage on a viking longship and comment on the difficulty of mobile phone communications in that time period. The viking-era ship forges through a nasty storm at sea, its stalwart oarsmen keeping pace with the thudding drumbeat provided to synchronize their efforts. As the gecko traverses the water-soaked deck of the viking vessel, the absurd juxtaposition somehow works!

The spot cross-promotes Geico with the new History Channel series, Vikings. Well-written and acted, the Vikings show is worthy of your attention for its characterization and attention to detail. There’s death, decapitation, spirited combat, and political scheming…and talk about tough! One viking wife beats off two would-be rapists with a sword, while another on a raiding party dispatches her lusty assailant with a dagger! Defending English warriors are outclassed by the Vikings after a hard day’s raiding, and they seem to relish the workout. Vikings is a gritty and unflinching show about some of history’s toughest warriors, so pass the mead, and let us feast!

Dr. Pepper Ten and the Manly Beverage

April 8, 2013

pepper hawk– – Wouldn’t you like to have a hawk for a friend that obligingly drops off a cold drink when you’ve a hankering for one?  The dude in the “No Man’s Land” commercial for Dr. Pepper 10 does, and also frolics with a bear in the wilderness, tears and chews bark right off a tree, and effortlessly carries a huge log with one arm!  Such things are apparently possible when you partake of  “The Manliest Low-Calorie Soda in the History of Mankind.”  Welcome to the manly world of Dr. Pepper 10, so manly it’s packaged in gunmetal-gray cans.- -Would Hillary Clinton drink this?- –I think not!

‘Ya see, diet sodas are frequently perceived as wimpy drinks unfavored by manly men, so the good folks at Dr. Pepper have brought us this neo-version of Grizzly Adams to counter this perception.  Partaking of it’s “bold flavor” and ten calories enables us to be “wild and free,” or so they would have us believe; all that’s missing is a drum circle.  So much for guys being sensitive and in touch with our feelings, and I like my diet drinks just fine.- -I’ll gladly take a friendly hawk and a bear buddy, though, if anyone’s offering…

Shatner vs. The Gorn, Redux!

April 2, 2013

gorn-shatner– – Back when special effects were a lot less special in the 1960’s, we were treated to an episode of Star Trek (The Original Series) called Arena where a young William Shatner’s James T. Kirk fought a powerful but ponderous and slow-moving reptilian creature called a Gorn.- –Well, 46 years after their original encounter, Shatner is again rematched with his scaly rival in a commercial for a Star Trek video game debuting this month.  The duo is comfortably seated on a sofa in a cozy living room, each one armed with a video controller and engaged in virtual on-screen combat!

Things get a little heated, and the two arise to their feet to engage in hand-to-hand combat, complete with sofa cushions being thrown, and the legendary Starfleet captain dodging clumsy swings by the reptilian!   When the combatants clinch, Shatner breaks the reptile’s hold by smacking his palms over its ear orifices.  As the Gorn moans in pain, Shatner accuses it of overacting, and out of breath admonishes it that, “We’re both too old for this kind of thing!”- -Wonderful stuff!

The Gorn depicted is true to the original creature, complete with bulky costume and compound eyes.  A computer-generated Gorn as later seen  in an episode of Star Trek: Enterprise was considerably more agile, and moved quickly.  This flashback, however, reminds us of what may be Gorn, but not forgotten…

Undershirts Soft As Kittens!

March 29, 2013

hanes_kittens – – Many of us like to hug kittens, but would you like to wear them?- -Not as skins, heaven forbid, but as living, moving creatures?  It would be unnatural, and possibly a bit surreal if not creepy.  Then you’d probably pick up a lot of cat hair, and what if one of them had to pee or poop?  Many would be the problems of a kitten shirt, not to be confused with a hair shirt, worn in the Middle Ages to mortify the flesh, which is not an idea much in vogue in contemporary society…

…well, hair shirts were worn intentionally to be uncomfortable, and the idea of this commercial for Hanes ComfortBlend T-shirts and underwear is that they’re as soft or next best to being covered with luxurious kitten fur.  To drive home that point, we are shown a man wearing a digitally-enhanced shirt of many kittens, and they don’t seem to be overly-distressed by being worn, moving slightly and mewing independently.  The kitten-shirt wearing man doesn’t seem to be getting much support on his attire from his friends, so he taps Hanes spokesman Michael Jordan for his opinion.  Michael doesn’t seem to think much of kitten shirts either, and you can bet that PETA would be of the same frame of mind.

While cat-friendly, I doubt I’d like a kitten shirt, as well.  Now if you’d care to cover me with Catwoman, however, that’s another matter entirely…

Director Wolfdog for Old Spice’s Wild Collection…

March 27, 2013

wolfdog– – He understands marketing completely, wears an electronic speech translation device around his neck, and occasionally eats his staff members…that’s Mr. Wolfdog, the marketing director brought in by Old Spice to promote their Wild Collection fragrance line.  Wolfie knows his way around an  office, and his is complete with devices like calculators, business awards, and desk toys like a Newton’s Cradle.  Wolfdog is also a busy rascal, having made a series of banner ads, a number of videos posted on YouTube, animated GIFs, and even an album of inspirational business music called Night Business, with cover art featuring Wolfie in shades and a cool casual suit!  His credentials include being Alpha Male for Deciduous Forest Pack #13588 in Woods, Montana.

It’s all parody, but with videos such as How to Give Constructive Criticism (“Use a compliment kabob!,” “Wear a criticism sweater!”), Wolfdog is a more authentic, creative, and benign supervisor than some I’ve had.- -I could work for this guy!  He’d be a great improvement, actually…