Archive for the ‘Brilliant but twisted’ category

What Does The Fox Say?

October 2, 2013

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– – There are few things that I both love and hate at the same time, and a video by two Norwegian brothers of the comedy group Ylvis named What Does The Fox Say is one of them.  The video begins with a gathering of fursuited people at a home, and many different species are represented; there is a rather good dalmatian, an elephant, and some birds, among others.  Although these scenes are thought to be a reference to the furry fandom, the brothers denied even knowing about furries when this footage was made.  You then have a few awful moments when you think that you are viewing a video intended for a preschool audience; animals are introduced by the sounds that they make, e.g., “A cat goes meow,” etc.  After several such painful introductions, however, the question is raised, “What does a fox say?,” and we are off to the races, or rather, the forest…

…the forest is wonderful, a tree-bordered area shrouded in the night and rich ground fog; I could party there all night!  We are shown the brothers, wearing mediocre fursuits with facial fox paint. Then there are the dancers ringing the brothers, fox-like but not attired as such, more like the Blues Brothers with white shirts and dark ties…they do, however, have some awesome moves!  I didn’t know a pelvis could move like that. .. anyhow, as the brothers launch into their vocals, we hear as part of the lyrics sounds supposedly representative of those that foxes make, with the camera occasionally cutting to a grandfatherly-type reading a storybook to a child and making those same sounds.  It then becomes a matter of interpretation as to whether you think that the sounds made are intended as a parody of the excesses of electronic house music, or are actually intended as imitative of the variety of sounds that foxes make.  We do make over forty sounds for different purposes, including warning alerts and, ahem, calls to lure a mate…(blushes)

The later stage of the video that I love becomes mystical and spacey, with the vocals continuing to refer to the language of foxes as an ancient mystery.  The performing fox-clad brothers are surrounded by spikes of blue laser light, and arise into the air to be suspended there comfortably.   Is there an alien connection? – – I’ll never tell!  The final stage of the video shows a breath-taking CGI fox who enters at the periphery of the scene then takes center stage, arising to stand on his hind legs and singing scat in a beautiful baritone/bass voice, with subtle supportive choreography!   This jazz-oriented fox is alone worth viewing the video for, and could easily become a break-out star.- – I’d buy his albums, this dude has some major pipes!

You’ll either love it or hate it, but whether for the comedic elements, the furry overtones, or the electronic music, What Does The Fox Say is worth a look and a listen, and can accessed on YouTube.  Just don’t ask me about the ancient mystery thing, please.  These are secrets entrusted to only a few, and I’m bound not to tell…wink, wink!   http://youtu.be/jofNR_WkoCE

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Cousin Itt…

September 27, 2013

Itt– – I would be remiss if I did not include at least one post about Cousin Itt, since who could be more hairy or furry than he? A recurrent but not main character on The Addams Family television series and movies, Itt was a character not created by cartoonist Charles Addams but rather by the producer of the series. The cousin of Gomez Addams, Itt was a short individual completely covered with long, thick hair that completely obscured any underlying features. He typically wore sunglasses and a hat, usually a derby. Itt’s speech was rapid, high-pitched gibberish understandable to any member of the Addams family but not to anyone else.

Cousin Itt did not routinely reside at the Addams mansion, but was a regular visitor there and at times occupied a room, one scaled down to his height and size. Itt was reputed to be highly intelligent, and had a variety of skills and talents, including singing. Itt was quite a lady’s man, and did at one time sire a child, whose name appropriately was “What,” supposedly the first word out of the gynecologist’s mouth when the child, who resembled a tiny Itt, was delivered.

Itt could be the life of any party. My favorite episode depicted Gomez asking Cousin Itt what was under his great mop of hair.  Itt’s response was, “roots!”

Flodilocks and the Three Bears…

September 18, 2013

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– – Flo of Progressive Insurance is a bit of a fantasy female herself, so she seems strangely at home in a fairy tale such as Goldilocks and the Three Bears.  While meandering as a uniformed insurance clerk in a magical storybook forest, Goldilocks/Flodilocks comes upon a cottage, entering it to find sitting on the kitchen table not three bowls of porridge, but rather three boxed insurance policies!  We really expect this kind of thing from Flo, who lives, sleeps, eats, and drinks insurance…and outside of these commercials, insurance is dreadfully boring stuff, to say nothing of the back-breaking expense of it. Buying insurance is as much fun as paying taxes.   But I digress…anyhow, checking out the boxed insurance policies, the intrepid Flodilocks finds one having lots of coverage, another one having little coverage, and the third one just right !

Just then Flodilocks notices that three anthropomorphic bears are sitting in the nearby family room, and they are staring at her! Things then become more surreal, for the Papa Bear voices, “Hi, yeah we love visitors! That’s why we moved to a secluded house in the middle of the wilderness.” Flo doesn’t quite know what to do with this bit of information, so the video freeze frames on this last scene, and we zoom out as the storybook page turns…

One may basically write their own ending here. – – Do the bears have sinister intent, and devour Flodilocks? Or my preference and darker still, would Flodilocks best the bears in hand-to-hand combat, and devour them?  End scene of Flo patting a very full belly, and fade to black.  The best fairy tales play out in the mind, after all, and can be rather scary…

 

The Day of the Squirrel…

September 11, 2013

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Sears has given us a great gift in their commercial, Squirrel Revolt, about the best furry-themed ad that I’ve seen in months! The commercial begins with the fictitious Denskie couple entering their home, where Bob Denskie reveals to his better half that he’s trained those “pesky squirrels” to cut coupons! And so we are shown realistic CGI squirrels, about half a dozen sitting at tiny individual work tables and industriously using scissors. “I love your brain, Bob!,” says his adoring wife. “So do I!,” agrees Bob immodestly.

All is not well, however, in this workers’ paradise, for a moment later one squirrel throws his worktable over and screams:
“Enough! — Your tyranny ends now, you filthy humans!” With that, nuts are thrown, tiny fires are ignited, and the squirrel leader flings himself onto the face of his human oppressor! This is getting good! Bob screams at his wife to get the squirrel off his face, and she obliges by repeatedly whacking him in the head with a golf club! –Ooh, that’s gotta hurt! The Day of the Squirrel is at hand…and it does not bode well for the Denskies.

I, for one, wish to avoid the great and terrible wrath of the squirrel, so I don’t put them to hard labor in sweat shops, but rather feed them peanuts in parks. Perhaps they will remember this small kindness, and spare me in the coming tribulation…

Mike’s Hard Lemonade “Deer Head” Commercial…

August 5, 2013

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– – It’s kind of a “night of the living dead venison”  commercial; a guy is shown kicking back with three male friends in a comfy room, the mounted head of an antlered deer hanging on the wall.  The doorbell rings, and the guy answers the door.  There standing at the door is every hunter’s worst nightmare; the body of the slaughtered deer, minus its head!  It gets creepier; you can see the headless torso breathing! 

“Who is it?,” asks the head of the slaughtered deer from the wall; you can see its mouth move, and its eyes blink.  The guy is too stunned to say anything, so the deer head repeats its question; “Seriously, who is it?”  Again, the host is unable to answer, the headless body lingering in the doorway…end of commercial!

First airing in July of 2012,  this is creepy yet wonderful stuff, imparting the message that Mike’s hard lemonade is different, and that as the host tells a friend of the lemonade, “sometimes you gotta change things up.”  If every hunter was visited by an undead version of their slain prey, it might indeed make a world of difference…(Twilight Zone theme plays in the background)

“Sharknado;” Awesome Silliness!

July 19, 2013

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– – Being eaten by an airborne shark can ruin your whole day!  It’s not that the SyFy Channel hasn’t made and aired breath-taking bad movies before; it’s just that Sharknado is one of those rare hilariously bad movies that has taken on a life of its own, and taken Twitter by storm.  For the time that Sharknado aired, there was the feeling that a global ephemeral community had formed, and that thousands, perhaps millions of bad movie connoisseurs were united in groaning and laughing over the premise and execution of this marvelously bad flick.

Originally airing on the SyFy Channel on July 11th and repeated on air July 18th, Sharknado was a kind of monster meets disaster movie production in which a freak hurricane hits Los Angeles, causing man-eating sharks to be scooped up in tornadoes, which then flooded the city with shark-infested waters.  There is something dark inside many of us that delights in seeing someone eaten by a shark, especially a throw-away character that deserves it.  Unlike similar movies in which there’s only five or ten minutes of actual gory action, Sharknado didn’t skimp on the shock and sharks; there were sharks peppered throughout the film, on land, sea, and air!  They consumed fleeing motorists, and even made their way into flooded houses. – – That’s gotta lower property values!

If you left your brains at the door, Sharknado was great fun!  Sample dialogue:  “We’re gonna fight.  You can’t just stand around and wait for sharks to rain down on us.”  Fight the protagonists did, with shotguns, baseball bats, and even chainsaws…they got up in helicopters, and used home-made propane bombs to neutralize tornadoes!   You haven’t lived until you’ve seen someone use a chainsaw to rescue a woman after being consumed and inside the shark!  Contracted by the SyFy Channel and directed for film studio The Asylum by Anthony C. Ferrante,  Sharknado will have a sequel set in New York City, with fans suggesting titles on Twitter

Dorothy and Alice…

June 21, 2013

Dorothy and Alice

— Ah, the stories, the wonderful fantastic tales that could be shared if Dorothy from “Oz” and Alice from “Wonderland” could sit down together, and compare notes on a pleasant summer afternoon!  I’d surely pull up a chair to listen in to that conversation!

Alice could open by relating how she followed a white rabbit with a watch who seemed much preoccupied with the time, while Dorothy could share an encounter with a cowardly lion. Alice might speak of meeting a hookah-smoking caterpillar, while Dorothy could regale us with descriptions of flying monkeys. There would be reports of animal abuse, too, such as Alice’s description of a croquet game with flamingos used as mallets, and Dorothy’s account of a green-hued witch threatening her small dog.

Some of the strangest furry encounters in literature have been described or related by children, or by those with child-like, open minds. Weird shit, indeed, and oddly compelling…

“Liquid Fence” Animal Repellent Commercial

May 20, 2013

liquid fence– – We who have gardens know that unwanted animals can invade your territory, and lay waste to the fruits of your labors.  For that reason, animal repellents are commonly used, both of the home variety and those commercially made.  In a commercial aired by Liquid Fence, they take a rather idyllic-looking yard and divide it neatly in two, protecting part of it with bars of soap, scarecrows, shiny things, an ugly fence, ninjas, and “a Pomeranian (dog) who only works the day shift.”  The other half of the yard is protected by Liquid Fence.- – Guess which half of the yard most effectively repels the unwanted wildlife?- -You guessed it!

So if you don’t want the dwatted wabbits getting at your tender vegetation, you now know what to do.  I’ll be in the yard portion infested by the wabbits, mesmerized by the shiny things…

Bad Little Children’s Books…

April 27, 2013

cyclops– – From the 1940’s through the 1960’s, bright and cheerful books featuring caucasian children, middle-class families, and wholesome animals were sold by Little Golden Books and related publishers with titles such as, The Pokey Little Puppy or Baby’s Toys.  They were often the first reading material that kids of that time experienced, or the first books that they owned.  Prices were unbelievable by today’s standards; perhaps 25 cents gradually creeping higher.

Well, artist Bob Staake has created a series of books inspired by such classic kiddie reading material, but with a darker satirical twist that makes these books distinctly not for the young and innocent; these are titles such as, Mommy Needs To Go To Detox, or If You Give A Cyclops A Kitten.  The cover art is dead-on.- –Why didn’t they have books like this when I was a kid?!

Also recommended:  Bedtime Stories for Children You Hate by Antoinette Bergin, with stories such as, Your Upstairs Neighbor Kills People…pleasant screams, kiddies, ahahahaha!

The Aflac Duck in Physical Therapy…

April 17, 2013

physical therapy– – As you’re likely aware, the Aflac Duck was recently injured, suffering damage to his beak and a wing.  Now the waterfowl is fighting his way back, with help from physical therapy and the inspiration of Rocky Balboa!  In the 60 second commercial, we are shown the duck struggling with such therapy tasks as climbing stairs, treading water, working on a gym station, and jumping rope…slow and sad piano-accented music plays in the background.  It’s so hard for the doggedly-determined duck…but then he starts to get his energy and range of motion back, and as the soundtrack of “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor plays in the background, we see the duck working out like a champ!

The underlying message is that with Aflac to pay his bills so he doesn’t have to worry, the duck can focus on therapy and getting better…and there’s no keeping a good duck down!  He’s gotten 35,000 get-well cards, according to Aflac’s chief marketing executive, who considers the duck and the brand to be not an image but an experience.   But will he suffer from post-traumatic stress, and require therapy?  This is the 58th commercial to feature the Aflac duck, if you’re counting…