Archive for the ‘Brilliant but twisted’ category
April 8, 2013
– – Wouldn’t you like to have a hawk for a friend that obligingly drops off a cold drink when you’ve a hankering for one? The dude in the “No Man’s Land” commercial for Dr. Pepper 10 does, and also frolics with a bear in the wilderness, tears and chews bark right off a tree, and effortlessly carries a huge log with one arm! Such things are apparently possible when you partake of “The Manliest Low-Calorie Soda in the History of Mankind.” Welcome to the manly world of Dr. Pepper 10, so manly it’s packaged in gunmetal-gray cans.- -Would Hillary Clinton drink this?- –I think not!
‘Ya see, diet sodas are frequently perceived as wimpy drinks unfavored by manly men, so the good folks at Dr. Pepper have brought us this neo-version of Grizzly Adams to counter this perception. Partaking of it’s “bold flavor” and ten calories enables us to be “wild and free,” or so they would have us believe; all that’s missing is a drum circle. So much for guys being sensitive and in touch with our feelings, and I like my diet drinks just fine.- -I’ll gladly take a friendly hawk and a bear buddy, though, if anyone’s offering…
Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Dr. Pepper 10
Comments: 2 Comments
April 2, 2013
– – Back when special effects were a lot less special in the 1960’s, we were treated to an episode of Star Trek (The Original Series) called Arena where a young William Shatner’s James T. Kirk fought a powerful but ponderous and slow-moving reptilian creature called a Gorn.- –Well, 46 years after their original encounter, Shatner is again rematched with his scaly rival in a commercial for a Star Trek video game debuting this month. The duo is comfortably seated on a sofa in a cozy living room, each one armed with a video controller and engaged in virtual on-screen combat!
Things get a little heated, and the two arise to their feet to engage in hand-to-hand combat, complete with sofa cushions being thrown, and the legendary Starfleet captain dodging clumsy swings by the reptilian! When the combatants clinch, Shatner breaks the reptile’s hold by smacking his palms over its ear orifices. As the Gorn moans in pain, Shatner accuses it of overacting, and out of breath admonishes it that, “We’re both too old for this kind of thing!”- -Wonderful stuff!
The Gorn depicted is true to the original creature, complete with bulky costume and compound eyes. A computer-generated Gorn as later seen in an episode of Star Trek: Enterprise was considerably more agile, and moved quickly. This flashback, however, reminds us of what may be Gorn, but not forgotten…
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry commercials, scalies, sci fi, television
Tags: Shatner and Gorn commercial, Shatner vs. Gorn
Comments: 2 Comments
March 29, 2013
– – Many of us like to hug kittens, but would you like to wear them?- -Not as skins, heaven forbid, but as living, moving creatures? It would be unnatural, and possibly a bit surreal if not creepy. Then you’d probably pick up a lot of cat hair, and what if one of them had to pee or poop? Many would be the problems of a kitten shirt, not to be confused with a hair shirt, worn in the Middle Ages to mortify the flesh, which is not an idea much in vogue in contemporary society…
…well, hair shirts were worn intentionally to be uncomfortable, and the idea of this commercial for Hanes ComfortBlend T-shirts and underwear is that they’re as soft or next best to being covered with luxurious kitten fur. To drive home that point, we are shown a man wearing a digitally-enhanced shirt of many kittens, and they don’t seem to be overly-distressed by being worn, moving slightly and mewing independently. The kitten-shirt wearing man doesn’t seem to be getting much support on his attire from his friends, so he taps Hanes spokesman Michael Jordan for his opinion. Michael doesn’t seem to think much of kitten shirts either, and you can bet that PETA would be of the same frame of mind.
While cat-friendly, I doubt I’d like a kitten shirt, as well. Now if you’d care to cover me with Catwoman, however, that’s another matter entirely…
Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Hanes cat commercial, kitten undershirt
Comments: 2 Comments
March 27, 2013
– – He understands marketing completely, wears an electronic speech translation device around his neck, and occasionally eats his staff members…that’s Mr. Wolfdog, the marketing director brought in by Old Spice to promote their Wild Collection fragrance line. Wolfie knows his way around an office, and his is complete with devices like calculators, business awards, and desk toys like a Newton’s Cradle. Wolfdog is also a busy rascal, having made a series of banner ads, a number of videos posted on YouTube, animated GIFs, and even an album of inspirational business music called Night Business, with cover art featuring Wolfie in shades and a cool casual suit! His credentials include being Alpha Male for Deciduous Forest Pack #13588 in Woods, Montana.
It’s all parody, but with videos such as How to Give Constructive Criticism (“Use a compliment kabob!,” “Wear a criticism sweater!”), Wolfdog is a more authentic, creative, and benign supervisor than some I’ve had.- -I could work for this guy! He’d be a great improvement, actually…
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Director Wolfdog, Old Spice's Wolfdog
Comments: 3 Comments
March 23, 2013
– – The commercial for Old Spice’s Hawkridge runs like a demented out-take for Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds. It’s a high-stakes poker game, and two male players are squaring off over the card hands that they hold while on-lookers gawk. One card player with glasses, a receding hairline, and a handful of costly rings is contending against a handsome guy who has, interestingly enough, a hawk on his arm. Although he holds a royal flush, the dominant player is sweating. We are privy to his thoughts; “I couldn’t get a read on him. Is he bluffing?,” thinks the man. Looking up, the royal flush holder sees that his opponent now has two hawks. Scree, screech the hawks. A moment later, the hawks have multiplied to four; scree, they cry. Briefly later, the hawks have multiplied yet again. The shrill cries are now a chorus, with hawks descending from above and one even roosting on the handsome guy’s head.- -Holy Hitchcock!
When yet another hawk rolls out from under the table between the bespectacled guy’s legs, he obviously has even more to sweat about, and so decides to fold despite holding an unbeatable hand. This is known as winning by intimidation. A victory for the hawkmaster, who has also by now acquired his opponent’s girlfriend! The message is that this scent doesn’t just attract women, but vanquishes competition! Talk about giving someone the bird…
Categories: animal presence, animal spokepersons, animals, Brilliant but twisted, feathered friends, furry commercials, television
Tags: Hawkridge commercial
Comments: 2 Comments
March 19, 2013
– – It’s cheesy, and proud of it…Wolfman Mac’s Chiller Drive-In, that is! Many of us when young grew up with regional variations of the “Chiller Theater” concept, a show usually on Saturday night which presented horror or science fiction films from the 1950’s or 1960’s, such “The Crawling Eye” or “Attack of the 50-Foot Woman.” Armed with a freshly-made batch of Jiffy Pop popcorn, I’d settle down before the tube for two hours of kiddie bliss. Horror and sci fi films of that era weren’t terribly graphic and the special effects were laughable by today’s standards, but they were great stuff to a ten-year-old! Some of those shows included hosts, such as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.
Wolfman Mac is cut from the same cloth as such hosts, but he’s lower budget still. He’s a werewolf who runs a dilapidated drive-in located in the fictional town of Hauntington Heights that shows B-grade horror movies you’ll marvel were ever made. The Wolfman’s sidekick is an wisecracking, extremely fake-looking plastic skeleton called Boney Bob. There are over a dozen cast members that include TORG the robot, a guy in a cardboard box costume; and the nutty Professor M. Balmer. During breaks from the movie, they perform skits that mirror or parody the action from the flick. It’s not Shakespeare, but is great late-night fun!
Wolfman Mac is in real life Mac Kelly, who as a kid loved old horror films, werewolves, and all things Halloween. Originally a local show, it’s now carried nationally by the Retro Television Network, but has retained all of its high camp charm…
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, television
Tags: Wolfman Mac
Comments: 2 Comments
March 16, 2013
– – The aptly-named reality show Odd Folks Home is a spin-off of the Science Channel show, Oddities. It tends to feature the most eccentric clients of the Obscura Antiques and Oddities store showcased in the parent show, and viewers are taken into the homes of these people to see their private collections and practices. Many of these individuals would be at home residing with the Addams Family; there are sword swallowers and fire eaters, and artists who work in such mediums as skulls, animal parts, and human blood. These people would be fun dates, and indeed one lady screens her men by taking them home to see how they handle such tasks as articulating a cat skeleton.
The show has the perfect host in Edgar Oliver (pictured), a real-life playwright and actor who takes creepiness to an art form. On the Oddities show, we see him in a state of near ecstasy over the discovery of a straightjacket. “Are you sitting…comfortably?,” inquires Edgar of the listening audience on some episodes of Odd Folks, with the perfect facial expressions and hand gestures.- -This guy is a treasure!
You can learn much about the morbid and macabre from this show, and for that reason it’s probably not suitable for young children or the squeamish. As for me, however, I’m right at home in the Odd Folks Home…
Categories: anomalies, Brilliant but twisted, strange, television
Tags: Edgar Oliver, Odd Folks Home
Comments: 3 Comments
March 5, 2013
– – Somewhere in life, we’ve all seen some variation of the old horse costume gag…you know, a costume where one guy poses as the front end of a horse, and his hapless partner literally brings up the rear! Well, a recent Little Caesar’s commercial takes us to a costume party where we see two dudes in that classic horse costume get-up with their component pieces separated, and a girl in a princess costume brings it to their attention that Little Caesar’s is offering pepperoni pizza for a mere five bucks!
Galvanized into action, our two heroes then dash out the door where we cut to a scene of a magnificent stallion galloping hard across the desert to suitable rousing music! The scene then changes again to the interior of a Little Caesar’s restaurant where we see the front end of the horse bent over and gasping for breath, poor guy. The guy in the rear end arrives just slightly later, sweated but able to voice their pizza order.- -It’s a great revival of the classic horse costume gag, and the noble equine tradition!
Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry commercials, television
Tags: Little Caesar's horse costume
Comments: 3 Comments
February 25, 2013
– – We’ve all heard of pulled pork, but Geico takes Maxwell the pig to a different level of meaning with this when a police officer pulls his blue convertible over in a recent commercial. Maxwell hands the officer his license and registration as well as his Geico digital insurance card. Now it turns out that the cop doesn’t have a problem with the fact that a pig is driving, but rather the fact that Maxwell’s tail light is out. “Fix it!,” orders the cop before walking away.
At least we haven’t seen an example of species profiling from the unflappable officer…
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Maxwell pulled over, pig driving a convertible
Comments: 3 Comments
January 25, 2013
– – Witches could use a good spin doctor to handle their bad PR problem; they’re often portrayed as ugly and evil. Hollywood has also put forth a number of doctored and rehashed variations lately on classic fairy tales, with Red Riding Hood one of the most common. In this vein, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters will be coming your way soon, conceived as an action fantasy sequel to the tale of two kids who stumble into a candy-covered witch house in the woods where they are taken prisoner and almost wind up consumed.
Well, in the 3D Witch Hunters, it’s now 15 years later, and the grown-up Hansel and Gretel are doing the Van Helsing thing on witches, who they shoot, stab, burn, and behead; at one point, a Gatling gun will be turned on them…there are serious anger issues here! Gretel is limber, and looks good in leather. At least it’s not intended to be taken seriously, and Witch Hunters mixes horror with hilarity. There will be ancient Bavarian milk bottles bearing pictures of missing witch-kidnapped children, for example. There will also be a troll named Edward…
I guess we’ll see what happens during the Feast of the Blood Moon in this Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer film produced by Will Ferrell and associates, and starring Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton as the dynamic duo…
Categories: absurdities, Brilliant but twisted, movies
Tags: Hansel and Gretel
Comments: 5 Comments
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