Archive for the ‘anthropomorphic’ category

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Geico “Pig in a Blanket” Commercial

December 3, 2013

maxwell football– – Geico’s Maxwell the pig is back in a commercial spot again, this time at a football game where he is again demonstrating the capabilities of his Geico app to a friend, even in the midst of a a crowded stadium.  It’s evidently a chilly day prompting some extra covering in the outdoor facility, and pretty soon the stadium cam zooms in on Maxwell, causing his image to appear on a giant screen, together with the legend, “Pig in a blanket!” For the uniformed, this refers to a recipe for hot dogs prepared wrapped in crescent rolls.  We’ll overlook the additional fact that footballs were once referred to as “pigskins.”

“Guess I walked into that one,” quips Maxwell, who at this point could use some better material…

Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
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The Pepto Bismol Squirrel in “Aerial Enlightenment”

November 15, 2013

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– – Enlightenment can apparently be found anywhere, even on aircraft, when you have Pepto To Go!  We’ve already seen the zen-oriented rodent in the forest, and now he pops up on a flight, where he tells a female passenger that he can see that she’s packed…her stomach!  Such a pronouncement would be unwelcome from a human, but coming from a squirrel, we marvel at his sage perception.  

He appears out of a seatback compartment that looks like a medicine cabinet, and before we know it, the squirrel has somehow teleported into the woman’s pocket, emerging with a vial of Pepto, and telling the passenger that relief can be hers. There is a price to be paid, however, for the woman’s airline peanuts belong to the squirrel, and are shown in his tiny paws as he reappears in the seatback compartment in front of her, and the commercial ends.  Wisdom, like the squirrel, is where you find it…and perhaps the squirrel will come when the student is ready…

Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, humor, television
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The Denskies and the Bear…

November 13, 2013

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– – In a new Sears commercial dealing with points redemption, we again see Bob Denskie, the guy earlier at the core of the squirrel revolt, trying to save money and winding up apparently in mortal danger.  Venturing out in the woods to harvest a Christmas tree, we see a panicking Denskie dragging the object of his search, running while being pursued by a bear.  “I’ve got the tree, open the door!,” he implores urgently with the bear in hot pursuit.  Denskie makes an additional observation about the bear: “He’s not hibernating!“

We then cut to information about how Sears bonus purchase points add up, making it an easier way to save money.  When we are again returned to the hapless Denskie, we find that we need not have been concerned, for he is shown making snow angels with the bear sitting harmlessly at his side.  “And I thought you were gonna eat me!,” comments Bob Denskie, alive, well, and presumably much relieved…

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
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Five-Hour Sour Apple Energy Shots Deer…

November 10, 2013

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– – In a recent commercial, the door of a rustic cabin deep in the woods creaks open late one night.  Standing in the doorway, we see the form of a magnificent buck.  The invader steals into the cabin where a hunter sleeps in bed; quickly and silently, the deer steals the hunter’s five-hour energy shots, thinking by this action that the hunter will be weakened, drowsy and unable to undertake the hunt the next morning! But perhaps the hunter has only pretended to be asleep; he pulls down his covers to reveal beneath them a pack of five-hour extra strength sour apple energy shots, saying to the now absent deer that he’ll be seeing him bright and early the next morning…diabolically clever!

One can hardly fault the deer for seeking to deprive the hunter of his edge.  Perhaps, however, the deer should have absconded with the hunter’s rifle instead of his energy shots, and opened up on him with his own weapon when he sought to pursue his “sport,” making it for the first time a fair competition…that’s what the fox says!

 

Categories: animal presence, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
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The Starburst “Juicy Dragon…”

October 8, 2013

starburst– – I hate to see mythological creatures exploited, and one usually doesn’t want to mess with dragons.  But the Starburst “giggly juicy dragon” is not your typical dragon, even among a race of extraordinary creatures.  The dragon in question also seems to dearly love his videos, and apparently is easily entertained by them.  The dragon must live under a rock not to already be familiar with the “keyboard cat” video, but then again, dragons are reputed to at times live under rocks, or at least in caves.  For that reason, the giggly juicy dragon is probably starved for entertainment, or at the very least doesn’t get out much.  The “keyboard cat” apparently can really tickle the dragon’s funnybone, or whatever he may have that passes for one.

In this short video, one candy-chomping man is wondering how they get Starburst candies to be so juicy; lord knows, many poor devils lay awake at night pondering that very point.  Now thanks to this commercial, you need wonder no longer! – – They show the giggly juicy dragon funny videos such as the keyboard cat, he laughs so hard that he weeps tears of joy, and such tears as they flow are collected and put into the Starbursts.  I guess that this isn’t quite exploitative as the dragon gets his jollies that way, although PETA might see the matter differently…

Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry commercials, scalies, strange
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Flodilocks and the Three Bears…

September 18, 2013

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– – Flo of Progressive Insurance is a bit of a fantasy female herself, so she seems strangely at home in a fairy tale such as Goldilocks and the Three Bears.  While meandering as a uniformed insurance clerk in a magical storybook forest, Goldilocks/Flodilocks comes upon a cottage, entering it to find sitting on the kitchen table not three bowls of porridge, but rather three boxed insurance policies!  We really expect this kind of thing from Flo, who lives, sleeps, eats, and drinks insurance…and outside of these commercials, insurance is dreadfully boring stuff, to say nothing of the back-breaking expense of it. Buying insurance is as much fun as paying taxes.   But I digress…anyhow, checking out the boxed insurance policies, the intrepid Flodilocks finds one having lots of coverage, another one having little coverage, and the third one just right !

Just then Flodilocks notices that three anthropomorphic bears are sitting in the nearby family room, and they are staring at her! Things then become more surreal, for the Papa Bear voices, “Hi, yeah we love visitors! That’s why we moved to a secluded house in the middle of the wilderness.” Flo doesn’t quite know what to do with this bit of information, so the video freeze frames on this last scene, and we zoom out as the storybook page turns…

One may basically write their own ending here. – – Do the bears have sinister intent, and devour Flodilocks? Or my preference and darker still, would Flodilocks best the bears in hand-to-hand combat, and devour them?  End scene of Flo patting a very full belly, and fade to black.  The best fairy tales play out in the mind, after all, and can be rather scary…

 

Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry commercials, television
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The Kia Hamsters in, “Totally Transformed!”

September 16, 2013

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 – – The Kia hamsters combined cool, cute, and cuddly in their previous commercials, but they were always a bit, well, rotund. So with a redesign of the endorsed product, it was time to pack the rascally rodents off to the gym and the salon for some serious body sculpting and a fashion makeover.  We are shown the boys working out in a variety of ways, including treadmills, exercise bikes,  and swimming pools.  We see them all in a row under driers at the salon, and when they appear in formal attire and shades at a red carpet Broadway-type opening, the transformation is indeed striking; these guys are sleek, stylish, sexy, and total babe-killers!  There hasn’t been a physical transformation this dramatic since Rocky Balboa went from chump to champ.

Backed by Applause by none less than Lady Gaga, these hamsters have indeed arrived…

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
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The Day of the Squirrel…

September 11, 2013

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Sears has given us a great gift in their commercial, Squirrel Revolt, about the best furry-themed ad that I’ve seen in months! The commercial begins with the fictitious Denskie couple entering their home, where Bob Denskie reveals to his better half that he’s trained those “pesky squirrels” to cut coupons! And so we are shown realistic CGI squirrels, about half a dozen sitting at tiny individual work tables and industriously using scissors. “I love your brain, Bob!,” says his adoring wife. “So do I!,” agrees Bob immodestly.

All is not well, however, in this workers’ paradise, for a moment later one squirrel throws his worktable over and screams:
“Enough! — Your tyranny ends now, you filthy humans!” With that, nuts are thrown, tiny fires are ignited, and the squirrel leader flings himself onto the face of his human oppressor! This is getting good! Bob screams at his wife to get the squirrel off his face, and she obliges by repeatedly whacking him in the head with a golf club! –Ooh, that’s gotta hurt! The Day of the Squirrel is at hand…and it does not bode well for the Denskies.

I, for one, wish to avoid the great and terrible wrath of the squirrel, so I don’t put them to hard labor in sweat shops, but rather feed them peanuts in parks. Perhaps they will remember this small kindness, and spare me in the coming tribulation…

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
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“Fresh Step” DJ Cats…

September 9, 2013

dj cats— Love them or hate them, cats have been a powerful presence in advertising, and since at least the 20th century, they’ve also been associated with music, especially jazz. They’re part of the language; consider idiomatic references like hep cat, swing cat, cool cat, and the list goes on. Perhaps it’s because cats are independent and tend to choose their own focus that they’ve come to be associated with music forms that are cutting edge and a bit outside of the mainstream, at least at their inception and at one particular point in time.

It’s perhaps only natural then that cats should update and transition into studio and technology based forms of musical expression, functioning as disc jockeys and engineering today’s sound in a Fresh Step kitty litter commercial…

Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, cool things, furry, furry commercials, television
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Love Stinks!

August 24, 2013

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 – – Skunks often get the short end of the stick because of their stink, but Pepe Le Pew is one of the few cartoon characters fighting for skunk liberation, to say nothing of the male libido…

…a second tier yet memorable Warner Bros. character, Pepe was a stereotypic Frenchman in the same manner that Speedy Gonzalez was a stereotypic Mexican. Pepe would perpetually stroll about Paris in the spring, foisting his totally unwelcome romantic attentions upon an unfortunate black feline, Penelope Pussycat, whom Pepe would always mistake to be a female skunk. Penelope’s resemblance to a skunk was often generated by some plot device such as the cat crawling under a freshly painted white fence, and emerging with a white stripe down her back; Pepe was readily deceived, perhaps because of his own eagerness. Much of the ensuing cartoon antics would then center about Pepe’s persistent pursuit of the misperceived female, and her frantic efforts to escape his amorous intentions.

Little would deter or dissuade the amorous French skunk, even acts of physical violence against himself by the cat, which Pepe interpreted as playing “hard to get.”  Pepe’s self-assurance and rock-solid sexual confidence always propelled him forward, with reality seldom intruding on his belief systems; he was a soft-core sexual predator unaware of his own repugnancy for whom the pursuit was everything. The Pepe Le Pew cartoons traded in absurdity, and perhaps resonated within any person who had ever experienced an irrational and hopeless love attraction or been the recipient of unwanted romantic advances…

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, cartoons, famous furries, furry
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