FOXSYLVANIA

– – You have, of course, heard of Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. But did you know that Switzerland boasts an animal lawyer?

Now animal rights are no joke in tiny Switzerland, which revised and tightened its regulations two years ago.  Their animal protection laws are 160 pages long, stating among other things that pigs, budgies, goldfish, and other social animals can’t be kept alone.  Horses and cows must have regular exercise outside their stalls, and dog owners must take a training course to learn how to look after their pets.   As in other countries, the law forbids killing animals in a cruel fashion or for fun.    Swiss voters, however, recently rejected by a margin of about 70% a proposal which would have required special lawyers to be appointed to act on behalf of animals.

Switzerland’s single animal defense lawyer, Antoine F. Goetschel, represents about 150-200 animals annually, although only a handful of cases go to court each year.  Most of his clients are dogs, cows, and cats.  Cases often involve the serious abuse of animals, such as deliberate wounding, neglect, and yes, rape.  Such cases can get a bit ridiculous, as in one handled last month where the attorney represented a dead pike after an animal protection group accused the angler who caught it of cruelty for taking ten minutes to haul the fish in…