It’s kinda like the “Island of Misfit Toys” from the 1960’s Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Xmas classic…NJM’s “Basement Storage” commercial, that is!
From their “No Jingles or Mascots” campaign, we see a rather remarkable animatronic elephant wheeled in, complete with a well-articulated trunk. Activating once his human depositor leaves, the elephant wonders if he’s in mascot heaven. He’s not in mascot heaven or hell, but purgatory might be more like it…the elephant has landed in a basement storage area for mascots unwanted and unused by NJM, mascot-companions for the elephant that include a gorilla and lion… 🙀
Unfortunately, the rejected would-be mascot elephant appears to short out, then repeating his initial query about whether he’s in mascot heaven. ” Oh boy!,” comments the gorilla…
Boston Dynamics has creeped some people out with their robotic dog intended for security or military applications that looks like it might be a best friend for a T-800 Terminator.– -How, oh how, to make the uncanny Robo-dog more user-friendly, more acceptable? The answer is simple; make a furry out of it!
There!- – Isn’t that nicer? Less menacing now, our Robo-pooch looks almost like something out of Disney! You could be lulled into a false sense of security and might even invite its presence, until it can get within 30 feet of you and perhaps deploy its flamethrower attachment. Then it’s all over except for the screaming.- -Talk about an infiltrator unit! 🤖
Acceptance of robots is all about presentation, after all. So enjoy this little dance of the robot stripped down and dressed-up models. Just ask yourself, do you trust your dog?- – Do you, really? 🙀
Posted April 25, 2024 by vulpesffb Categories:furry
Well, I now know what to ask for this upcoming Christmas!. The Thermonator , a flame-throwing robotic dog offered by a Cleveland company, is back in stock for $9,420, which includes free delivery in the United States. It looks like something Skynet could have devised, a companion perhaps to a T-800…
The Robo-dog is eerily reminiscent of the relentless, robotic guard and sentry device featured in the Metalhead episode of Black Mirror. That creation, however, was a fully-autonomous artificial intelligencedeviceequipped with a firearm, and capable of using improvised environmental weaponry. Thermonator is remotely controlled by an operator, and not considered a firearm, thus not federally-regulated. Flamethrowers are banned in Maryland, however, and require a permit in California…local regulations may also apply, so check before you buy…
A 30-foot flamethrower range is nothing to sneeze at, however, and the manufacturer cites applications of snow and ice removal, agriculture, ecological conservation, wildlife control (*shudders*), and special effects generation. I would also imagine that possession of one could deter religious and political solicitors, and door-to-door salesmen. No more hiding, and pretending that you aren’t home when unwanted relatives visit unannounced, either! – – Sic ‘em, Fido! 😸
Oh, brave new world that we live in! I’ll have to be on the lookout for these bad doggies, not wanting to become a crispy critter for someone using it for “wildlife control.” My life isn’t too wild, frankly…sad though it is to admit it. Downright boring, actually… 😿
I’ve always loved SyFy horror, and the Netflix series Parasyte: The Grey is of that tradition. We’ve seen bits and pieces of like materials before, in such films as Invasion of the Body Snatchers and even Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. You can watch the spiny little pods descend, and their worm-like spawn wiggle their way into people‘s ears, causing their brains to be consumed, and the hosts to become imitations of the people they once were…but with the capability of emanating deadly tentacles from their heads!
There’s something about tentacles that are Lovecraftian, alien, and deeply disturbing, especially when they’re topping off a human body! These tentacles are powerful, capable of extending themselves to great lengths, moving heavy objects, and cutting through or slicing through flesh. It‘s 100% nightmare fuel…
But one young woman assaulted by a psychotic slasher has her assailant terminated by an alien, and is unable to beassimilated because the alien expends too much of its time and energy healing her wounds, leaving her brain and humanity intact while conferring alien powers, and kind of co-habiting with the alien in her body. She uses these otherworldly capabilities to work with the humans (Korean) to fight against the aliens, and some glorious tentacled fights ensue…
The special effects are good, and oddly compelling...and who doesn’t enjoy a good tentacled fight, anyways? 🦊
What did I learn in High School? Well, that I was different, and that some people would hate me just for being me! If you are a geek, a nerd, a dork, non-athletic, or simply a smart kid, you are the natural prey animal of mad dogs, those non-achieving sadists who wander the school environment looking for such kids to viciously torment. Causing others pain delights them enormously, perhaps distracting them from the reality that their own lives are going nowhere fast.
Fortunately, there are furry applications to life, and associating with others like yourself in an informal herd like zebras can blend individual lines of demarcation, and make it harder for such mad dogs to identify you, separate you from the herd, and attack you. There is safety in numbers. Know your species-type, stick with those of your kin, and you will be much more likely to survivethe school environment.There can be safety in numbers…
Yes, there’s something in the barn, and it’s not a moo-cow but rather a Norwegian barn elf in this black horror comedy that plays like the movie Gremlins run through National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation…
It seems that a rather annoying American millennial-type family has inherited a Norwegian farm estate where their distant relative died trying to expel or exterminate the barn elf, succeeding only in dying a fiery death. Oblivious to Norwegian traditions and mythology, the Griswold-type family tries to impose gaudy American holiday traditions on the estate in the process of converting it to a bed-and-breakfast type inn…
This serves to make the barn elf angry, as they are creatures that despise change, bright lights, noise, and modernism in general. Only the family’s pre-teen son Lucas understands this, solely believing in the entity, and forging an alliance with the being by giving it cookies. If you are nice to such an elf, they will do service to you such as remove snow and split and stack firewood. Offend an elf, however, and open warfare results, with the mythical beings being able to call in reinforcements of their fellows…
You wouldn’t like such elves when they are truly angry. They are tribal, not adverse to killing, and will use primitive and environmental weaponry. When they stumble into your liquor cabinet, they’ll indulge themselves, and throw raucous parties…
The Americans are guided in their struggles by an expert in Norwegian folklore, who chides them with such admonitions as “This isn’t America. We don’t go about shooting each other in the faces!” A sensible people, Norwegians prefer negotiation.
Cookies are also powerful negotiation chips, if used in a timely fashion. Proper respect for folkloric beings is always in order, too. So be nice to your barn elf, should you have one… 🦊
Allstate’s Dean Winters as the redoubtable “Mayhem” is doing animal impersonations again, this time as a wild bird stuck in the attic of basketball legend Larry Bird. – -What, you’ve never seen a bird in a suit before?! That absurdity is part of the humor. Well, once again Winters pulls his animal act off, bonking his head against an attic window to show his entrapment, knocking stuff about, and announcing that he’s “going cuckoo…”
All of the ruckus draws the now senior Bird out of his comfy chair into his attic, where he encounters the bird-Winters, and arms himself with a lacrosse stick! “What ‘ya got, Larry? May the best bird win,” declares Winters. It’s no contest, however, as Winters-as-bird handily dodges basketball Bird’s swings. Jumping to reach Winters, Larry Bird crashes through the attic floor, his legs dangling comically through his living room ceiling…
“You may be a legend on the court, but you’re an amateur up here,” mocks wild bird Winters from the rafters. “Now YOU’RE the bird stuck in the attic!”
Once more, nature prevails…as does Dean Winters, whether as a cat, raccoon, deer, St. Bernard puppy, or bird.- – Can he do a fox next?! 🦊
There is now a 2023 movie based on the popular video game, Five Nights At Freddy’s. For those who have been living in a cave, Freddy’s envisions a closed and decaying 1980’s kiddie pizza emporium much like Chuck E. Cheese’s where the animal-resembling members of the house robotic entertainment band continue unnaturally to lumber around, stalking and killing intruders on the premises…
Now I’ve seen one of these animal robot bands performing in Florida, and it was creepy, because budget-level animatronics do not approach Disney World standards, and the robotic animal performers don’t move fluidly. Because of this, cartoon-like animal robots make suitable fodder for horror movies, kind of like Jason or Freddy with creaky hydraulics…
I’m usually not a fan of video games turned into movies, but this one is not without its moments, probably because I am a damn furry, and likely wouldn’tmind spending my afterlife as Foxy, the robot pirate-fox. Just be kind to him, because he’s been knocking around since the 1980’s unattended and without proper maintenance. Foxy is the worse for the wear, much like I myself…
The robots, ‘ya see, are inhabited by the spirits of deceased children who mysteriously vanished. While they are murderous, their mayhem is not graphically rendered on screen, and one reviewer termed this an introduction to horror movies for the video game generation, “baby’s first horror movie.” There are some novel concepts here, even if the film itself is not especially scary. This probably would have been better suited for presentation on the SyFy channel instead of the big screen, but it did play well in theaters. Similar themes were developed in The Banana Splits Movie, which didn’t have a video game pedigree. But catch this one on Amazon Prime if you have it. It’s fun, but won’t haunt your dreams. It just can’t be taken seriously, but there’s nothing wrong with that, and robotic furries are a kick…
(Foxy’s looked better, but haven’t we all?!And I could definitely get into the Robo-pirate fox scene, yarr!Lower yer flag and stand by to be boarded by the scourge of the Seven Seas, Matey!) 🦊
See y’all at Freddy Fazbear’s…or maybe the funny papers!
*Laughs hysterically and is taken away by nice young men in clean white coats* 🤪
Private eyes…gumshoes…private dicks….I’ve always loved ‘em, especially in retro versions, or neo-ones like Rorschach of Watchmen. So when I saw this private eye walking into a dimly-lit diner, soft jazz playing in the background, this fox was hooked…
This private eye had the full look, complete with fedora and trench coat. His client, however, was an oddball…not that I should talk…and what exactly was he? When I first glimpsed him, I thought that he looked like ALF, the Alien Life Form popular for a few years on 80’s television. He seemed at first to have an elongated snout, and was definitely a furry…
…but no, not ALF. Maybe some kinda bovine, I dunno. Anyway, the detective brought him the information he sought, but he wasn’tgonna like it. It seems, ‘ya see, that NJM only had their customer’s best interests at heart, and there was no way that the mascot client could compete with that…
And ALF, I still remember ‘ya, buddy…but don’t even think about eating my cat!
Those Arm and Hammer cats are back, from the same people who brought you a feline John Travolta at the disco a while back! Disclaimer: If seeing cats in bed makes you feel uncomfortable, stay out of their bedroom! But I’m a furry, this is my world, and so just cope with it, OK? No one forces you to be here, after all… 😸
These cats in their bedroom and alternative universe just love to watch videos of the crazy and stupid things that humans do, the same way that folks in our benighted reality love to watch cat videos…and humans do some stupid things, like throw balls of used cat litter around, to see how hard it is. And how hard are they? Crazy hard!
This is lightweight HardBall Litter, after all, and you can even hit clumps of it with a tennis racket against walls. Or throw it downstairs. – -Tsk, the things that these stoopid hyoomans do! Always makes you laugh, though…
And isn‘t this a handsome couple, just enjoying themselves? So what if they’re sharing a bed? We’ve come a long way as a society since Lucy and Ricky Ricardo had separate twin beds in their bedroom! And how do you suppose that kittens are made? Cats got needs, ‘ya know…but we’re not gonna get into that here, this being a semi-respectable blog, and all. Meow… 🐈🐈⬛
FOXSYLVANIA 
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