
– – I’m always interested in unidentifiable mystery carcasses washing up on shore! It’s better still if bathers are on the beach when it happens. Submitted for your approval is this rather ferocious and prehistoric-looking specimen which washed up on Pukehina Beach in New Zealand…and no, I did not make up the name “Pukehina,” although it serves my purposes well. About 9 meters in length with the lower part of the body mostly entrails from an attack, speculations soon surfaced that the remains were some kind of sea monster. It probably didn’t smell like roses, either!
A marine mammal expert, however, has identified the remains as most likely being those of a killer whale, or orca. When creatures wash ashore in a severe state of decomposition, they really don’t look their best, you see, and may not even look much like they did in life. Bizarre-looking carcasses have been misidentified as sea monsters or even dinosaurs for generations. Some masses of tissue brought up by the sea are so far gone as to be called, “blobsters.”
In 1896, for example, a massive, six-foot-high “fleshy corpse” came ashore at St. Augustine, Florida. After lots of speculation and probably gagging, a naturalist of the time decided that it was some kind of giant octopus previously unknown to science. Then in 2003, something 40 feet long weighing 13 tons washed ashore on a beach in Chile. Labeled the “Chilean Blob,” the remains were determined to be whale blubber. More recently in 2008, I’m sure we can all remember the Montauk Monster, although this was much more modestly sized, being by most estimations the remains of a raccoon or a boxer dog. Hopefully some more good stuff will wash up sometime soon, giving us material to write about!
…Anyways, there’s gotta be a really memorable bad movie for the Syfy channel lurking amidst all of this talk of fleshy corpses and bizarre-looking carcasses…Attack of the Blobster, maybe, I dunno…
– – The following story I forewarn you is not for those of delicate sensitivities, good readers…but if you enjoy a good gross-out and are not yourselves eating, read on!
– – The season finale of Monsters and Mysteries in America went off with a bang in their “Desert Wasteland” episode, treating us to tales (and tails) of thunderbirds, skinwalkers, nightstalkers, and not to be forgotten, aliens! The American Southwest may be a desert wasteland, but it’s rich in really cool folklore! Of course, I was hooked, and wouldn’t have been disturbed unless there was an earthquake or I was on fire.
– – Mysterious shadows, screams in the night, hairy hominids, and a hair-raising sense that something is watching me…these are a few of my favorite things! Few cryptic creatures are as laughably strange, however, as is the Sheepsquatch, a crossover between mutton and man reported throughout West Virginia and in the southwestern region of Virginia.
– – From the 1940’s through the 1960’s, bright and cheerful books featuring caucasian children, middle-class families, and wholesome animals were sold by Little Golden Books and related publishers with titles such as, The Pokey Little Puppy or Baby’s Toys. They were often the first reading material that kids of that time experienced, or the first books that they owned. Prices were unbelievable by today’s standards; perhaps 25 cents gradually creeping higher.
– – Seldom are cryptids described as goat-like, but the “Goatman” of Western Kentucky is an exception. As characterized on the Discovery Channel’s show, Monsters and Mysteries in America, the Goatman is reputed to have hypnotic powers of a sort, to be able to imitate voices, and to entice people to climb the Pope Lick railroad trestle to lure them to their doom.
– – The Discovery Channel has a rather interesting show called, Monsters and Mysteries in America. – –Well, I prefer a monster to a mystery any day, but I’ll take a mystery if no good monsters or even laughable cheesy ones are available. A number of mysteries or unexplained phenomena fall into the category of urban myths, one of which as given a segment on the show was that of the black eyed kids, who should not be confused with the Black Eyed Peas, an American hip hop group…
– – As you’re likely aware, the Aflac Duck was recently injured, suffering damage to his beak and a wing. Now the waterfowl is fighting his way back, with help from physical therapy and the inspiration of Rocky Balboa! In the 60 second commercial, we are shown the duck struggling with such therapy tasks as climbing stairs, treading water, working on a gym station, and jumping rope…slow and sad piano-accented music plays in the background. It’s so hard for the doggedly-determined duck…but then he starts to get his energy and range of motion back, and as the soundtrack of “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor plays in the background, we see the duck working out like a champ!
– – Many strange things may be found in New York City, including people who walk about in unlicensed character costumes offering tourists the opportunity to have their children photographed with them in the expectation of getting a several buck tip in return. These characters are known to frequent Times Square and elsewhere, and may be dressed up as Sesame Street notables, Mario of Nintendo fame, Buzz Lightyear, Winnie the Pooh, or perhaps the Statue of Liberty, to name a few; some of the outfits are poor copies, barely recognizable. Trouble is, the hustlers tend to be a bit aggressive, and at times have been known to bother or pursue their marks for photo privileges, demanding money afterwards before putting a photographed child down. There have been ugly incidents as well; last summer, someone dressed as Grover lost it, and burst into an antisemitic rant in public…a Super Mario once groped a woman, and a Spiderman even punched a mom! Hardly your friendly neighborhood Spidey…
– – In a recent Geico commercial, the company spokes-gecko travels back to the ninth century to book passage on a viking longship and comment on the difficulty of mobile phone communications in that time period. The viking-era ship
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