– – Even in the rarified world of cryptozoology, consideration of mermaids has fallen into the realm of the really far out there stuff, to be greeted perhaps with rolling of the eyes and snide remarks. Most likely this is because treatment of the very topic of mermaids/mermen has been tainted by embodiment in fairy tales and the Disney treatment in popular culture; we are inclined to think of mermaids as merchandised items, as plastic toys carried about and loved by small girls. If we think of mermaids and mermen as being less like My Little Pony collectables, we’re finally at a stage where we can give the topic more serious consideration.
Specials on the Animal Planet network have sparked new treatments of the mermaid topic, complete with the ambiguous videos and reported missing body parts, allegations that we’ve come to associate with Bigfoot investigations. There’s even a linkage of sorts in that mermaids and mermen are speculated to be a kind of “water ape” that has evolved back to an aquatic existence from a previous incarnation on dry land.
First there was Mermaids: The Body Found airing in May 2012, a docu-fiction including the tantalizing tale of inexplicable body parts brought forth from the stomach of a Great White shark on the South African shore that matched no other known species, body parts that represented perhaps 30% of a complete individual possessing mermaid characteristics, including morphological adaptations such as hands rather than fins, and an upright hip bone posture. While little of the skull of the specimen remained, reconstruction from what was present suggested the capacity for echolocation as is seen in aquatic mammals such as dolphins. Researchers working with the remains had them as well as their research confiscated as they were about to return to the United States, or so alleges a reputed former NOAA scientist.
Remaining, however, are recordings of mysterious underwater noises coming from an unknown source which resembles a 1997 sound recording called the “bloop.” This transmission contains known whale and dolphin sounds together with more sophisticated sounds of an unknown creature speculated to be communicating with the cetaceans. There are also a number of disputed videos, including one reportedly taken by a boy on a cell phone camera following a mass whale beaching in 2007. The images show in addition to whale carcasses and debris a still living humanoid-like creature that the boy maintains to have been a mermaid or merman…
For the record, the National Oceanic Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) has issued a statement denying the existence of mermaids or other aquatic humanoids. Animal Planet has stated that the mermaid shows are not factual, and should be considered entertainment only; the shows are essentially science fiction, with some real events and speculative scientific theory incorporated. While mermaids may be all wet, the ratings amassed by Mermaids: The New Evidence are quite real, with 3.6 million viewers drawn, making the show the most viewed telecast on Animal Planet ever…
– – Camels haven’t figured in commercials much since the days of tobacco pitchman Joe Camel, who was, it must be admitted, extremely cool. Now at last we have an anthropomorphic camel figuring in a Geico commercial, who parades around an office interrupting and distracting workers by happily asking them what day it is. The answer to the dromedary’s query is that it’s Wednesday, also known as hump day. Our two amiable musical hosts then appear, one asking us how happy people are that save hundreds of dollars on car insurance; the answer is that they’re happier than a camel on Wednesday…
– – A recent commercial aired by Walgreens shows a family of four returning to their SUV in a wooded area, only to find the vehicle already occupied by a quartet of raccoons engaged in merry mayhem; the rascals are into everything that they find within, one squeezing out suntan lotion from a container, another eating candy cherry slices from the dashboard, a third checking out prescription vials and bandages, and still another comically wearing a potato chip bag over his head! Needless to say, the family needs to replace some items, and Walgreens has over 8,000 stores to fill the bill.
– – We who have gardens know that unwanted animals can invade your territory, and lay waste to the fruits of your labors. For that reason, animal repellents are commonly used, both of the home variety and those commercially made. In a commercial aired by Liquid Fence, they take a rather idyllic-looking yard and divide it neatly in two, protecting part of it with bars of soap, scarecrows, shiny things, an ugly fence, ninjas, and “a Pomeranian (dog) who only works the day shift.” The other half of the yard is protected by Liquid Fence.- – Guess which half of the yard most effectively repels the unwanted wildlife?- -You guessed it!
– – You’ve probably heard certain types of vehicles referred to as “dinosaurs,” or perhaps as “big boats” or “land yachts“- -Well, in a commercial for the 2013 Buick Encore, the crossover vehicle has to navigate around a variety of dinosaurs including a stegosaurus, triceratops, and possibly an apatosaurus as they go plodding along city streets and even trying to park. The message is that the time of “big luxury” cars has passed, and the next big thing in luxury vehicles is small and nimble. This is somewhat ironic in that Buick in its day has made some of the biggest and softest luxury cars around; we also continue to burn fossil fuels aplenty, so perhaps the dinos shouldn’t be mocked. The commercial’s voiceover is by Kevin Bacon, and the music in the spot is “The Guitar” by They Might Be Giants…
– – Pity or perhaps envy William Shatner, who just can’t seem to get away from aliens and other unexplained phenomena; on the new Syfy show Weird or What?, the man best known for playing James T. Kirk on the original 
– – The following story I forewarn you is not for those of delicate sensitivities, good readers…but if you enjoy a good gross-out and are not yourselves eating, read on!
– – The season finale of Monsters and Mysteries in America went off with a bang in their “Desert Wasteland” episode, treating us to tales (and tails) of thunderbirds, skinwalkers, nightstalkers, and not to be forgotten, aliens! The American Southwest may be a desert wasteland, but it’s rich in really cool folklore! Of course, I was hooked, and wouldn’t have been disturbed unless there was an earthquake or I was on fire.
– – Mysterious shadows, screams in the night, hairy hominids, and a hair-raising sense that something is watching me…these are a few of my favorite things! Few cryptic creatures are as laughably strange, however, as is the Sheepsquatch, a crossover between mutton and man reported throughout West Virginia and in the southwestern region of Virginia. 
FOXSYLVANIA 
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