– – The season finale of Monsters and Mysteries in America went off with a bang in their “Desert Wasteland” episode, treating us to tales (and tails) of thunderbirds, skinwalkers, nightstalkers, and not to be forgotten, aliens! The American Southwest may be a desert wasteland, but it’s rich in really cool folklore! Of course, I was hooked, and wouldn’t have been disturbed unless there was an earthquake or I was on fire.
Now since at least the 1960’s, cattle mutilations have been reported in this domain, and it ain’t Ronald McDonald or the Burger King that’s doing it!- – Now who could be mutilating the cattle, excising pieces and organs of them with bloodless, surgical precision? This question served as the springboard for an introduction to things supposedly possessing the capability for such mayhem, namely thunderbirds or skinwalkers.
Now Thunderbirds here do not refer to the legendary Ford sportscar, but rather to pterodactyl-like flying creatures with wingspans of perhaps thirty feet or so, long referred to in Native American folklore. Skinwalkers are my personal favorite of the things covered, a kind of demonic assassin created by magic to harass and harm. A type of male witch, the skinwalker can change form at will, often taking the shape of wolves or coyotes although owls or other bird forms are also known, and any shape is possible! Skinwalkers execute curses at the behest of someone else, and in human form could be anyone, even a neighbor.
Nightstalkers as presented are an enigmatic bipedal creature that can come in different shapes. Their form is indistinct, although red eyes are commonly noted. As their name suggests, they tend to come at night, and can haunt dreams. Claw-like scratches on flesh and metal are reported by those who contend that they have encountered them.
Aliens are commonly considered as potential cattle mutilators, presumably possessing the technology capable of bloodless organ excision. In the southwest, alien grays have been reported to abduct and “harvest” humans, in one case supposedly removing a fetus from a pregnant woman. The biological father of this child reported being again abducted years later, and introduced to the product of that pregnancy. Presumably the kid would get some pretty advanced schooling!
All in all, the episode had great, captivating stuff, but did I believe all of it? I see the purpose of such shows as being to entertain and inspire wonder, and to cause us to consider alternative explanations of phenomena. I love such shows dearly…but I’m not quite ready for the tinfoil hat brigade yet!
– – As you’re likely aware, the Aflac Duck was recently injured, suffering damage to his beak and a wing. Now the waterfowl is fighting his way back, with help from physical therapy and the inspiration of Rocky Balboa! In the 60 second commercial, we are shown the duck struggling with such therapy tasks as climbing stairs, treading water, working on a gym station, and jumping rope…slow and sad piano-accented music plays in the background. It’s so hard for the doggedly-determined duck…but then he starts to get his energy and range of motion back, and as the soundtrack of “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor plays in the background, we see the duck working out like a champ!
– – In a recent Geico commercial, the company spokes-gecko travels back to the ninth century to book passage on a viking longship and comment on the difficulty of mobile phone communications in that time period. The viking-era ship
– – Wouldn’t you like to have a hawk for a friend that obligingly drops off a cold drink when you’ve a hankering for one? The dude in the “No Man’s Land” commercial for Dr. Pepper 10 does, and also frolics with a bear in the wilderness, tears and chews bark right off a tree, and effortlessly carries a huge log with one arm! Such things are apparently possible when you partake of “The Manliest Low-Calorie Soda in the History of Mankind.” Welcome to the manly world of Dr. Pepper 10, so manly it’s packaged in gunmetal-gray cans.- -Would Hillary Clinton drink this?- –I think not!
– – Back when special effects were a lot less special in the 1960’s, we were treated to an episode of Star Trek (The Original Series) called Arena where a young William Shatner’s James T. Kirk fought a powerful but ponderous and slow-moving reptilian creature called a Gorn.- –Well, 46 years after their original encounter, Shatner is again rematched with his scaly rival in a commercial for a Star Trek video game debuting this month. The duo is comfortably seated on a sofa in a cozy living room, each one armed with a video controller and engaged in virtual on-screen combat!
– – Many of us like to hug kittens, but would you like to wear them?- -Not as skins, heaven forbid, but as living, moving creatures? It would be unnatural, and possibly a bit surreal if not creepy. Then you’d probably pick up a lot of cat hair, and what if one of them had to pee or poop? Many would be the problems of a kitten shirt, not to be confused with a hair shirt, worn in the Middle Ages to mortify the flesh, which is not an idea much in vogue in contemporary society…
– – He understands marketing completely, wears an electronic speech translation device around his neck, and occasionally eats his staff members…that’s Mr. Wolfdog, the marketing director brought in by Old Spice to promote their Wild Collection fragrance line. Wolfie knows his way around an office, and his is complete with devices like calculators, business awards, and desk toys like a Newton’s Cradle. Wolfdog is also a busy rascal, having made a series of banner ads, a number of videos posted on YouTube, animated GIFs, and even an album of inspirational business music called Night Business, with cover art featuring Wolfie in shades and a cool casual suit! His credentials include being Alpha Male for Deciduous Forest Pack #13588 in Woods, Montana.
– – It’s cheesy, and proud of it…Wolfman Mac’s Chiller Drive-In, that is! Many of us when young grew up with regional variations of the “Chiller Theater” concept, a show usually on Saturday night which presented horror or science fiction films from the 1950’s or 1960’s, such “The Crawling Eye” or “Attack of the 50-Foot Woman.” Armed with a freshly-made batch of Jiffy Pop popcorn, I’d settle down before the tube for two hours of kiddie bliss. Horror and sci fi films of that era weren’t terribly graphic and the special effects were laughable by today’s standards, but they were great stuff to a ten-year-old! Some of those shows included hosts, such as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. 
FOXSYLVANIA 
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