Archive for the ‘television’ category

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Sears Black Friday Commercial, “Turkey Chase”

November 28, 2013

turkey chase– –  “Get in the bag!- – Get in the bag!,” cries the Denskies’ Dad, a would-be turkey pursuer to an agitated and very mobile turkey, which readily keeps ahead of the hapless hunter.  So intent is Mr. Denskie at bagging the bird that he is oblivious to a number of trees looming in the immediate vicinity, soon colliding with one of the massive trunks and getting knocked out cold.  The turkey escapes, none the worse for the wear. – – So who’s the real bird brain here?!

We haven’t seen a hunter this inept since Elmer Fudd, and Sears is bringing us this reminder of their Black Friday sales as a better way to save money than hunting your own wild turkey, most of which bear little relationship anymore to what’s being sold in supermarkets…and a happy holiday to all of you!

Categories: absurdities, animals, avian, furry commercials, television
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DirecTV Spot, “Attack of the Squirrels”

November 24, 2013

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– – Squirrels seems to have come into their own lately, appearing in more and more commercials. We’ve seen squirrels engage in kind of a sweat shop revolt in an earlier Sears commercial, and once again, the small rodents are combining in numbers to overwhelm and freak out hapless humans. Sure, they’re cute…but would you want large numbers of them hanging on you, as with this gentleman?

We are shown an adult man named”Dave” crossing a park who is converged upon by multiple squirrels, and verbally orders them to go away. The narrator tells us that the squirrels aren’t listening to Dave, and just don’t seem to care what he says. How very different this is than the DirecTV system, which can be verbally ordered to find kiddie movies, and is fully compliant. Meanwhile, poor Dave is left agitated and spinning about in the park with a myriad of squirrels hanging onto him in a scene reminiscent of the rat attacks from the movie, “Ben.” — The horror, the horror!

We are not shown the ultimate fate of Dave, and the squirrels aren’t talking, either. — What is their agenda? Vigilance is accordingly advised!

Categories: animals, furry, furry commercials, strange, television
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The Pepto Bismol Squirrel in “Aerial Enlightenment”

November 15, 2013

Pepto squirrel

– – Enlightenment can apparently be found anywhere, even on aircraft, when you have Pepto To Go!  We’ve already seen the zen-oriented rodent in the forest, and now he pops up on a flight, where he tells a female passenger that he can see that she’s packed…her stomach!  Such a pronouncement would be unwelcome from a human, but coming from a squirrel, we marvel at his sage perception.  

He appears out of a seatback compartment that looks like a medicine cabinet, and before we know it, the squirrel has somehow teleported into the woman’s pocket, emerging with a vial of Pepto, and telling the passenger that relief can be hers. There is a price to be paid, however, for the woman’s airline peanuts belong to the squirrel, and are shown in his tiny paws as he reappears in the seatback compartment in front of her, and the commercial ends.  Wisdom, like the squirrel, is where you find it…and perhaps the squirrel will come when the student is ready…

Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, humor, television
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The Denskies and the Bear…

November 13, 2013

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– – In a new Sears commercial dealing with points redemption, we again see Bob Denskie, the guy earlier at the core of the squirrel revolt, trying to save money and winding up apparently in mortal danger.  Venturing out in the woods to harvest a Christmas tree, we see a panicking Denskie dragging the object of his search, running while being pursued by a bear.  “I’ve got the tree, open the door!,” he implores urgently with the bear in hot pursuit.  Denskie makes an additional observation about the bear: “He’s not hibernating!“

We then cut to information about how Sears bonus purchase points add up, making it an easier way to save money.  When we are again returned to the hapless Denskie, we find that we need not have been concerned, for he is shown making snow angels with the bear sitting harmlessly at his side.  “And I thought you were gonna eat me!,” comments Bob Denskie, alive, well, and presumably much relieved…

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
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Five-Hour Sour Apple Energy Shots Deer…

November 10, 2013

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– – In a recent commercial, the door of a rustic cabin deep in the woods creaks open late one night.  Standing in the doorway, we see the form of a magnificent buck.  The invader steals into the cabin where a hunter sleeps in bed; quickly and silently, the deer steals the hunter’s five-hour energy shots, thinking by this action that the hunter will be weakened, drowsy and unable to undertake the hunt the next morning! But perhaps the hunter has only pretended to be asleep; he pulls down his covers to reveal beneath them a pack of five-hour extra strength sour apple energy shots, saying to the now absent deer that he’ll be seeing him bright and early the next morning…diabolically clever!

One can hardly fault the deer for seeking to deprive the hunter of his edge.  Perhaps, however, the deer should have absconded with the hunter’s rifle instead of his energy shots, and opened up on him with his own weapon when he sought to pursue his “sport,” making it for the first time a fair competition…that’s what the fox says!

 

Categories: animal presence, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
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Cousin Itt…

September 27, 2013

Itt– – I would be remiss if I did not include at least one post about Cousin Itt, since who could be more hairy or furry than he? A recurrent but not main character on The Addams Family television series and movies, Itt was a character not created by cartoonist Charles Addams but rather by the producer of the series. The cousin of Gomez Addams, Itt was a short individual completely covered with long, thick hair that completely obscured any underlying features. He typically wore sunglasses and a hat, usually a derby. Itt’s speech was rapid, high-pitched gibberish understandable to any member of the Addams family but not to anyone else.

Cousin Itt did not routinely reside at the Addams mansion, but was a regular visitor there and at times occupied a room, one scaled down to his height and size. Itt was reputed to be highly intelligent, and had a variety of skills and talents, including singing. Itt was quite a lady’s man, and did at one time sire a child, whose name appropriately was “What,” supposedly the first word out of the gynecologist’s mouth when the child, who resembled a tiny Itt, was delivered.

Itt could be the life of any party. My favorite episode depicted Gomez asking Cousin Itt what was under his great mop of hair.  Itt’s response was, “roots!”

Categories: absurdities, anomalies, bizarre, Brilliant but twisted, furry, television, weird
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S.H.I.E.L.D. Likely to Hold..

September 26, 2013

shield– – It’s a smart, slick, and stylish show that parallels the Marvel cinematic universe with elements of the Men In Black movies and echoes of The X-Files thrown in for good measure; I’m speaking of the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. series which debuted on the ABC network on September 24th. Television has had shows somewhat similar to this before, but the small screen has been devoid of them for some time, so it’s good to see this new and promising entry, especially one with such a rich heritage and ambitious aspirations.

Although set in the Marvel universe after the events of The Avengers movie, Agents is intended to be a stand-alone series, and can be understood and appreciated without having to have seen the blockbuster Avengers movie. Agents is not a superhero series, but rather more of a secret-agent series, and the players while devoid of powers are elite Level 7 agents with uniquely specialized training and capabilities. In each episode, they must coordinate their efforts to investigate bizarre phenomena and fledgling emergent superheroes, one of which is revealed in the pilot. The agents have wonderful, cutting-edge technology toys.   It’s in the action/adventure genre, with science fiction and even comedy-drama elements.

I may be wrong, but I think that this series will fly, just like the vintage Corvette memorably did at the end of the series premiere...gotta get me one of those!

Categories: anomalies, sci fi, strange, television
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Flodilocks and the Three Bears…

September 18, 2013

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– – Flo of Progressive Insurance is a bit of a fantasy female herself, so she seems strangely at home in a fairy tale such as Goldilocks and the Three Bears.  While meandering as a uniformed insurance clerk in a magical storybook forest, Goldilocks/Flodilocks comes upon a cottage, entering it to find sitting on the kitchen table not three bowls of porridge, but rather three boxed insurance policies!  We really expect this kind of thing from Flo, who lives, sleeps, eats, and drinks insurance…and outside of these commercials, insurance is dreadfully boring stuff, to say nothing of the back-breaking expense of it. Buying insurance is as much fun as paying taxes.   But I digress…anyhow, checking out the boxed insurance policies, the intrepid Flodilocks finds one having lots of coverage, another one having little coverage, and the third one just right !

Just then Flodilocks notices that three anthropomorphic bears are sitting in the nearby family room, and they are staring at her! Things then become more surreal, for the Papa Bear voices, “Hi, yeah we love visitors! That’s why we moved to a secluded house in the middle of the wilderness.” Flo doesn’t quite know what to do with this bit of information, so the video freeze frames on this last scene, and we zoom out as the storybook page turns…

One may basically write their own ending here. – – Do the bears have sinister intent, and devour Flodilocks? Or my preference and darker still, would Flodilocks best the bears in hand-to-hand combat, and devour them?  End scene of Flo patting a very full belly, and fade to black.  The best fairy tales play out in the mind, after all, and can be rather scary…

 

Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry commercials, television
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The Kia Hamsters in, “Totally Transformed!”

September 16, 2013

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 – – The Kia hamsters combined cool, cute, and cuddly in their previous commercials, but they were always a bit, well, rotund. So with a redesign of the endorsed product, it was time to pack the rascally rodents off to the gym and the salon for some serious body sculpting and a fashion makeover.  We are shown the boys working out in a variety of ways, including treadmills, exercise bikes,  and swimming pools.  We see them all in a row under driers at the salon, and when they appear in formal attire and shades at a red carpet Broadway-type opening, the transformation is indeed striking; these guys are sleek, stylish, sexy, and total babe-killers!  There hasn’t been a physical transformation this dramatic since Rocky Balboa went from chump to champ.

Backed by Applause by none less than Lady Gaga, these hamsters have indeed arrived…

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
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The Day of the Squirrel…

September 11, 2013

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Sears has given us a great gift in their commercial, Squirrel Revolt, about the best furry-themed ad that I’ve seen in months! The commercial begins with the fictitious Denskie couple entering their home, where Bob Denskie reveals to his better half that he’s trained those “pesky squirrels” to cut coupons! And so we are shown realistic CGI squirrels, about half a dozen sitting at tiny individual work tables and industriously using scissors. “I love your brain, Bob!,” says his adoring wife. “So do I!,” agrees Bob immodestly.

All is not well, however, in this workers’ paradise, for a moment later one squirrel throws his worktable over and screams:
“Enough! — Your tyranny ends now, you filthy humans!” With that, nuts are thrown, tiny fires are ignited, and the squirrel leader flings himself onto the face of his human oppressor! This is getting good! Bob screams at his wife to get the squirrel off his face, and she obliges by repeatedly whacking him in the head with a golf club! –Ooh, that’s gotta hurt! The Day of the Squirrel is at hand…and it does not bode well for the Denskies.

I, for one, wish to avoid the great and terrible wrath of the squirrel, so I don’t put them to hard labor in sweat shops, but rather feed them peanuts in parks. Perhaps they will remember this small kindness, and spare me in the coming tribulation…

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
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Comments: 3 Comments

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