People or furries who go to salons or beauticians seeking a “whole new look” are brave souls. I have worn the same hairstyle for decades, knowing what helps me blend in so I can almost pass for human…
Alpacas are adorable animals; who doesn’t like them? And so it’s easy to relate to this courageous little alpaca in the NJM Insurance commercial who goes to their salon seeking that total makeover. Her hairstylist is up for the challenge,and so demonstrates a variety of different styles on the client…
One hairstyle looks rather EMO; another is a Mohawk. Still a third may be a Mullet. But our customer Alpaca isn’t quite satisfied with any of these possibilities…
Sothe alpaca’s stylist summons the salon’s master stylist, Gloria. That woman appears in a portal, and in greeting says, “Come to Momma!” The alpaca makes a sound that may be a mixture of fear and excitement. Be careful what you wish for, I guess!
It’s important to realize that many cartoon characters, like ourselves, have backstories. In the 1951 cartoon Let’s Stalk Spinach, we are shown that Popeye came from an impoverishedfamily background (above). We are shown Popeye’s mother, who looked like Popeye himself, complete with a squinty eye, sporting a pipe, and sadly, suffering from the same enlargement of lower arms that was passed on to her son. From seeing the young Popeye in this cartoon wearing shorts (or knickers?), we also learn that Popeye suffered from similar enlargement of his lower legs! Clearly, medical research needs to be done on these conditions…
(Popeye and his mother…Observe the hideous bodily limb deformations!)
Well, we also are shown Popeye’s four nephews, who not only look like miniature versions of himself, but also suffer the apparent genetic abnormalities. Their names are Pip-eye, Pup-eye, Poop-eye, and Peep-eye. Such names seem to me to be uncommonly cruel, as if the physical stigmata weren’t enough…
Well, the sailor-man had prepared lunch for his nephews which consisted of spinach sandwiches. I’m not surprised by this, nor was I surprised that the nephews upon taking a bite of the sandwiches spit them out. One can hardly blame them for this! Popeye then tells the nephews the story of how he discovered the virtues of spinach, which involved confrontation with a giant who easily thrashed Popeye until he was thrown into a giant-sized can of spinach, acquiring super-strength from ingesting it . The tide of battle then predictably turned, and Popeye bested the giant!
So Popeye’s nephews upon hearing the tale then eagerly consumed their sandwiches, and the battered giant makes an appearance at the end to testify to the veracity of Popeye’s story. Giants usually do not come out on top despite their clear advantages of size and strength, and are often depicted as dim-witted. They really deserve better…
A similar revelation I experienced recently is that Yosemite Sam, who might be considered the poster-boy of the gun lobby, had a brother! This brother looks identical to Yosemite Sam, other than the fact that his bushy eyebrows and prodigious mustache are black in color rather than reddish-orange. In the cartoon Along Came Daffy (1947), Yosemite Sam and his brother are bested by Daffy Duck rather than Bugs Bunny, the usual match-up. In his role as a cookbook salesman, however, Daffy proves himself easily up to the job… and speaking of abnormalities, check out Yosemite’s four-fingered hand… 🙀
In the aftermath of the election, we may at least be glad that our parents didn’t name us, Poop-eye… 😸
Exploding Kittens on Netflix is a hoot, although not for those who prefer their religion unpilloried…
It seems that God is felt by a divine council to need to be rehabilitated, and so He is sent to Earth in the form of a talking cat, devoid of his most useful but not all powers. He is to help a human family who prayed for his assistance, all the while contending against a similar demonic cat sent to thwart him… 🙀
This is pretty wild stuff that plays like Sunday School on heavy psychoactive medication. God-Cat has not long arrived on Earth before He is corralled by an animal control officer, and sedated. He escapes confinement, and goes on as a strange mixture of deity, human, and feline, railing against his cat incarnation while gradually embracing it. He learns the ways of man, and has frequent epic but hilarious battles against the opposing Devil-Cat.
You might say that God becomes a better fur-son because of all this, but you’ll just have to watch Exploding Kittens to learn of all the enabling details… Meow! 😸
(Foxsylvania proudly endorses Harris-Walz in 2024!)
The buffalo in the Buffalo Wild Wings commercials appears to be a party animal, and as he shows in the Box Out ad, is a bit of the “bull in the china shop” beast as well, not that a pub equates to a china shop! The buffalo spokes-animal still manages to trash stuff pretty impressively, and that’s without being mad!
I’ve always kinda admired the Wild Wings buffalo as a rather well-rendered and impressive chimera, and he’s certainly articulate and expressive to the point of being brash or domineering. I doubt that his wings would be adequate, however, to enable flight, and support his massive bulk. They’re nice wings, nonetheless...
The buffalo, whose name is Hank, is voiced by Beck Bennett. Crafted for the March Madness event, the commercial is certainly mad and wild. Hank, who thinks that he knows a bit about playing defense, goes into a demonstration by unintentionally knocking people about, even breaking out the window, complete with a bodily ejection and flying glass. One would certainly want to be on this bison’s team, as his opponents might not survive him!
I’ve never posted about a buffalo before, but Hank does cut an impressive and imposing furry figure in this ad; you’d just want to think twice about inviting him to your apartment, however! Unanswered are the questions of whether Hank will be held liable for damages…
And BTW, this fox was born in Buffalo, New York!
And by the way, I just happen to have been born in Buffalo, New York! My university mascot was a bison!
Boston Dynamics has creeped some people out with their robotic dog intended for security or military applications that looks like it might be a best friend for a T-800 Terminator.– -How, oh how, to make the uncanny Robo-dog more user-friendly, more acceptable? The answer is simple; make a furry out of it!
There!- – Isn’t that nicer? Less menacing now, our Robo-pooch looks almost like something out of Disney! You could be lulled into a false sense of security and might even invite its presence, until it can get within 30 feet of you and perhaps deploy its flamethrower attachment. Then it’s all over except for the screaming.- -Talk about an infiltrator unit! 🤖
Acceptance of robots is all about presentation, after all. So enjoy this little dance of the robot stripped down and dressed-up models. Just ask yourself, do you trust your dog?- – Do you, really? 🙀
Yes, there’s something in the barn, and it’s not a moo-cow but rather a Norwegian barn elf in this black horror comedy that plays like the movie Gremlins run through National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation…
It seems that a rather annoying American millennial-type family has inherited a Norwegian farm estate where their distant relative died trying to expel or exterminate the barn elf, succeeding only in dying a fiery death. Oblivious to Norwegian traditions and mythology, the Griswold-type family tries to impose gaudy American holiday traditions on the estate in the process of converting it to a bed-and-breakfast type inn…
This serves to make the barn elf angry, as they are creatures that despise change, bright lights, noise, and modernism in general. Only the family’s pre-teen son Lucas understands this, solely believing in the entity, and forging an alliance with the being by giving it cookies. If you are nice to such an elf, they will do service to you such as remove snow and split and stack firewood. Offend an elf, however, and open warfare results, with the mythical beings being able to call in reinforcements of their fellows…
You wouldn’t like such elves when they are truly angry. They are tribal, not adverse to killing, and will use primitive and environmental weaponry. When they stumble into your liquor cabinet, they’ll indulge themselves, and throw raucous parties…
The Americans are guided in their struggles by an expert in Norwegian folklore, who chides them with such admonitions as “This isn’t America. We don’t go about shooting each other in the faces!” A sensible people, Norwegians prefer negotiation.
Cookies are also powerful negotiation chips, if used in a timely fashion. Proper respect for folkloric beings is always in order, too. So be nice to your barn elf, should you have one… 🦊
Allstate’s Dean Winters as the redoubtable “Mayhem” is doing animal impersonations again, this time as a wild bird stuck in the attic of basketball legend Larry Bird. – -What, you’ve never seen a bird in a suit before?! That absurdity is part of the humor. Well, once again Winters pulls his animal act off, bonking his head against an attic window to show his entrapment, knocking stuff about, and announcing that he’s “going cuckoo…”
All of the ruckus draws the now senior Bird out of his comfy chair into his attic, where he encounters the bird-Winters, and arms himself with a lacrosse stick! “What ‘ya got, Larry? May the best bird win,” declares Winters. It’s no contest, however, as Winters-as-bird handily dodges basketball Bird’s swings. Jumping to reach Winters, Larry Bird crashes through the attic floor, his legs dangling comically through his living room ceiling…
“You may be a legend on the court, but you’re an amateur up here,” mocks wild bird Winters from the rafters. “Now YOU’RE the bird stuck in the attic!”
Once more, nature prevails…as does Dean Winters, whether as a cat, raccoon, deer, St. Bernard puppy, or bird.- – Can he do a fox next?! 🦊
There is now a 2023 movie based on the popular video game, Five Nights At Freddy’s. For those who have been living in a cave, Freddy’s envisions a closed and decaying 1980’s kiddie pizza emporium much like Chuck E. Cheese’s where the animal-resembling members of the house robotic entertainment band continue unnaturally to lumber around, stalking and killing intruders on the premises…
Now I’ve seen one of these animal robot bands performing in Florida, and it was creepy, because budget-level animatronics do not approach Disney World standards, and the robotic animal performers don’t move fluidly. Because of this, cartoon-like animal robots make suitable fodder for horror movies, kind of like Jason or Freddy with creaky hydraulics…
I’m usually not a fan of video games turned into movies, but this one is not without its moments, probably because I am a damn furry, and likely wouldn’tmind spending my afterlife as Foxy, the robot pirate-fox. Just be kind to him, because he’s been knocking around since the 1980’s unattended and without proper maintenance. Foxy is the worse for the wear, much like I myself…
The robots, ‘ya see, are inhabited by the spirits of deceased children who mysteriously vanished. While they are murderous, their mayhem is not graphically rendered on screen, and one reviewer termed this an introduction to horror movies for the video game generation, “baby’s first horror movie.” There are some novel concepts here, even if the film itself is not especially scary. This probably would have been better suited for presentation on the SyFy channel instead of the big screen, but it did play well in theaters. Similar themes were developed in The Banana Splits Movie, which didn’t have a video game pedigree. But catch this one on Amazon Prime if you have it. It’s fun, but won’t haunt your dreams. It just can’t be taken seriously, but there’s nothing wrong with that, and robotic furries are a kick…
(Foxy’s looked better, but haven’t we all?!And I could definitely get into the Robo-pirate fox scene, yarr!Lower yer flag and stand by to be boarded by the scourge of the Seven Seas, Matey!) 🦊
See y’all at Freddy Fazbear’s…or maybe the funny papers!
*Laughs hysterically and is taken away by nice young men in clean white coats* 🤪
As Monty Python and the Holy Grail memorably showed us, the Middle Ages were not totally dead and dreary times, especially if approached with a sense of wry humor. Simpsons creator Matt Groening does exactly that in Disenchantment on Netflix, and the series works on many levels, especially if you like history, myth, and satire…
While too complex to adequately cover in a single blog post, the series concerns the life and exploits of a medieval princess, Tiabeanie (Bean for short), a teenaged hellion adept at gambling and barroom-style fighting who has modern sensitivities, and rebels against medieval conventions such as arranged royal marriages…
Seeking to chart her own way through life, Bean is accompanied by mythic medieval companions that mirror the duality of her own nature; an innocent, idealistic elf appropriately named Elfo, and a black demon straight from Hell called Luci (short for Lucifer)…
Luci is my standout favorite in the series, a 9,000-year-old demon as inky-black as the original Felix the Cat, and thought by most who encounter him to be a weird, talking cat. Yes, Luci is the furry character in the series, having horns, fangs, and a forked tail, who despite his denials often postures bodily and presents like a cat. Sent from Hell to guide the Princess towards chaos, indulgence, and destruction, Luci proclaims himself to be “the guy who makes you feel good about doing bad.” This is one cool, laid-back, savvy demon!
This cat-like demon evolves, however, taking a serious liking to Princess Bean, becoming a loyal companion, fighting against her foes, and eventually dying for her…a sacrifice so noble that Luci appears before God in heaven, earning the status of ascended demon, a kind of reverse Lucifer, if you will…a bad guy who becomes good!
So catch Disenchantment on Netflix, if only to visit this fantastic, drinking, smoking, drug-ingesting cat-like thing that I’d be pleased to have in my corner, anytime! Bad boys, of course, can make you feel so good!🦊
What could be more Christmas-y than a cute, smiling snowman? The one in this NJM insurance commercial is even rather pint-sized, so he’s not particularly menacing. Two kids are crafting the snowman, one of which looks a bit like Ralphie in A Christmas Story. And wouldn’t ‘ya know it, once they put Dad’s ball cap on said snowman, he’s comes to life in the best Frosty the Snowman tradition…
Rather than lead the kids in a parade, this snowman begins to sing about Polar insurance, “the coolest around,” He waves his stick-branch arms cheerfully about. The kids scream, and run away; Mom and Dad are still standing there, however, and the insurance-shilling snowman asks them if they have any hot chocolate. One wonders if the snowman has a death wish…
For a company that prides itself in having no mascots, NJM has produced for us some of the best mascots around…a variety, no less!
FOXSYLVANIA 
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