Archive for the ‘absurdities’ category
December 4, 2012
– – Sadly, even NASA has found it necessary to debunk the reputed end of the world hysteria that some believe is suggested by the Mayan calendar. The Near-Earth Objects Program at NASA has explained away many of the most frequently cited doomsday scenarios for 2012.
One scenario involves an enormous imaginary planet called Nibiru supposedly swinging in from the outer solar system just in time to collide with the Earth in December. With thousands of astronomers scanning the skies on a daily basis, such an object would have been discerned long ago. A true believer might contend that the malevolent rogue planet is invisible. If such were the case, the gravitational effects of the rogue on neighboring planets would be discernible.
Alternative doomsday scenarios involve such things as massive solar flares or planetary alignments. Earth’s magnetosphere shields its inhabitants from solar radiation, although it can damage orbiting satellites. There are no planetary alignments anticipated for December, and even if there were, there would be negligible tidal effects upon the Earth as a result. Additional speculations that the Earth’s axis is going to shift are nullified by the fact that the rotational axis of the Earth is stabilized by the orbit of the moon. While the Earth’s magnetic field does shift every half-million years or so, there is no evidence that a shift, which takes thousands of years, is in the works for December.
As the late great Carl Sagan observed, extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence. Despite hundreds of thousands of predictions for the end of the world since the beginning of human history, we’re still here…
Categories: absurdities, doomsday, science, space
Tags: doomsday
Comments: 2 Comments
December 2, 2012
– – With the Xmas season almost upon us and overeating indulgences likely to ensue, it might be worthwhile considering the differences between competitive eating and fad eating. While it’s debatable whether competitive eating is really a sport, there are at least rules and regulations which govern it, and the items consumed tend to actually be conventional foods, such as hot dogs. Fad or event eating in contrast tends to be less structured with at times potentially dangerous consequences to participants; the items consumed, while technically edible, tend not to be commonly found on family dinner tables, such as insects. Other fad or event consumptions have involved normally harmless and indeed vital items, although even water proved fatal to one contestant when consumed to extreme excess over a short time. Fad eating has been spurred in recent years by the advent of reality TV shows, and feed off of the gross-out factor involved. If $100 is offered to someone to eat a worm, there will be takers and those who watch.
Competitive eating has been in existence in America since the early 20th century, with the first ever “Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest” at Coney Island occurring in 1916. Some competitive eaters have won thousands of dollars for stuffing their gullets, sadly in a country where some still go hungry. Items consumed at competitive eating contests have included pies, green beans, cheesecake, chicken wings, hard boiled eggs, lobster tails, oysters, and jalapenos…
Categories: absurdities, strange, things humans do, trends
Tags: competitive eating
Comments: 3 Comments
November 22, 2012
– – Verily, there is much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving…like I’m grateful that spiders don’t fly, and that flies do…otherwise, they’d be called “walks!” So stuff a dead bird with stale bread, and eat it…or not!
Categories: absurdities, cartoons, holidays, humor
Tags: Thanksgiving
Comments: 2 Comments
November 19, 2012
– – Don’t the bugs seem to get bigger each year? And there’s something marvelously surreal about going along in a big RV with a human-sized blue bug riding shotgun up front! I could get into this scene…well, this is an ESPN RV marketing campaign commercial that features New Orleans rookie Anthony Davis traveling in the RV together with ESPN commentator Mike Breen and Hugo, the team mascot. They are all very comfortable in one another’s company, a cozy group…thank heavens for cultural diversity!
The driving commentator is conversing with the big blue bug when, Thwack! – – A standard-size bug hits the windshield, leaving the predictable bug splat on it. Thoughtfully, the commentator offers his condolences to the mascot, and then turns his attention to the problem of the bug smear. The wipers are tried, which only smears the bug splat…then the washer fluid is resorted to, which makes the smear worse. Needing to take care of business, the driver then advises the bug mascot that there are napkins in the glove compartment, and asks the big blue insect if he would reach out, and try and grab some of the big pieces of the bug remnants! I think we’ve all been there, don’t you?
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry commercials, insects, strange, television
Tags: commercial insects, Hornets' mascot Hugo
Comments: 4 Comments
November 9, 2012
– – You’ve probably seen at least some of Geico’s “Happier Than” series in which we are shown people basking in the glee of improbable situations, such as Gallagher smashing watermelons at a farmers’ market and Christopher Columbus with a speedboat. Two comfortably scruffy folksingers called Ronnie and Jimmy then appear to draw the parallel that people saving money on Geico insurance sure are happy, happier than say, a witch at a broom factory…
My fave in the series involves two anthropomorphic antelope standing in the savannah equipped with night vision goggles that easily enable the duo to see a lion lurking in the tall grass. “Look who’s back…again!,” quips one antelope to the other. “We can see you, Carl,” an antelope addresses the lion. “Yeah, we can totally see you!,” confirms his companion.– So much for the stealth advantage! “Have you thought about going vegan, Carl?,” they ask the apex predator, and laugh. This could totally disrupt the food chain…and if the lion sleeps tonight, it will be with an empty belly!
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, humor, television
Tags: Geico antelope
Comments: 3 Comments
November 6, 2012
– – Those of us who reside in the United States should remember to vote on November 6th, and preferably for the party which is science and education friendly…
Categories: absurdities, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy
Comments: 4 Comments
October 7, 2012
– – It came as rather a surprise when Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney during the first presidential debate declared that he would cut funding to the PBS network, while maintaining that he liked the PBS monitor of the debate, and also loved PBS Sesame Street icon, Big Bird. Apparently, this is tough love.
Now the U.S. federal government contributes about 15% of the PBS operating budget, an amount equal to .01% of the federal budget. It’s an amount that the Pentagon burns through in a mere six hours! At least Big Bird found out that he has a lot of friends, at one point during the debate generating 17,000 tweets per second, which I guess is appropriate. As the Trashmen prophetically told us in the Surfin’ Bird song, “The bird is the word!”
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, animals, feathered friends, television
Tags: Big Bird
Comments: 4 Comments
October 3, 2012
– – In another of the Degree Chain of Adventure commercials, three average guys are equipped with “meat ponchos” and then have a pack of wolves released upon them! “Sweat is like tasty gravy to a hungry wolf,” explains survival expert Bear Grylls.- –Well, only one of the three meat poncho wearers is still standing alive and dry at the end of the commercial, and it should come as no surprise that he’s the guy wearing Degree deodorant!
I think we’ve all learned something here today…and while I’m glad the wolves got some fresh food, wouldn’t wearing a meat poncho be disgusting, to say nothing of costly?–And wouldn’t Meat Ponchos be a great name for a punk mariachi band?!
Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: animal law, Bear Grylls, furry, Furry Commercials
Comments: 3 Comments
October 1, 2012
– – Bear Grylls is a British survival expert and adventurer who hosts the show Man vs. Wild on the Discovery Channel. He also does a number of commercials for Degree deodorant, one of which shows us a poor subject pacing in a primitive “perpetual motion simulator,” which is really a large wheel set into motion by the movement of the guy walking inside it. “Feelin’ fresh and dry!,” assures the hapless subject as he moves at a leisurely pace. The deodorant’s protection is activated by movement, ‘ya see, so to kick things up a notch, the survival expert tosses the wheel walker a trout, and a bear is introduced in pursuit behind him!- –Now things are getting interesting!
“Help me!,” screams the subject with the bear in hot pursuit. “Keep running!” is the only advice he is offered by the survival expert who calmly walks away…
Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: animals, Bear Grylls, furry, Furry Commercials, meat ponchos
Comments: 3 Comments
September 7, 2012
– – Be brave, and enter by commercial into the dream world of Progressive’s iconic “Flo,” an already otherworldly lady. We are shown in the commercial the racing car bed that she sleeps in, and are witness to her dreams, appearing in a cartoon-like “thought bubble” appearing above her head. Flo, perhaps not surprisingly, counts insurance discounts rather than sheep in her sleep state.
Then the parade of discounts is interrupted, and we are shown a dream deviation of a chipmunk family reunion! They are as cute as the dickens…but alas! A dastardly squirrel steals the chipmunk’s nuts! Despair not, however, for in Flo’s dream, the squirrel is apprehended, and winds up in “Squirrel Jail.” Even in her dream state, Flo exults “Justice!,” and we are shown a victorious chipmunk holding aloft a liberated nut! Wonder what a therapist would make of this one…
But don’t ‘ya just love happy endings, even though reunions tend to be nutty?
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
Comments: 4 Comments
FOXSYLVANIA 
You must be logged in to post a comment.