Archive for the ‘absurdities’ category
February 25, 2013
– – We’ve all heard of pulled pork, but Geico takes Maxwell the pig to a different level of meaning with this when a police officer pulls his blue convertible over in a recent commercial. Maxwell hands the officer his license and registration as well as his Geico digital insurance card. Now it turns out that the cop doesn’t have a problem with the fact that a pig is driving, but rather the fact that Maxwell’s tail light is out. “Fix it!,” orders the cop before walking away.
At least we haven’t seen an example of species profiling from the unflappable officer…
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Maxwell pulled over, pig driving a convertible
Comments: 3 Comments
February 19, 2013
– – When an asteroid passes within a cosmic whisker of Earth and a meteorite smashes down in the former Soviet Union, one might not be totally surprised that small, plaque-mounted anthropomorphic fish are becoming more vocal than humans. In a variant of the McDonald’s Fish McBites commercial, we again visit with the young gentleman in the checked plaid shirt, this time in a beautiful, wood-paneled cabin.
Two young women enter the cabin through the door and see the young guy feeding his face. “Hey, what are those?,” asks one of the women, clearly no more of a Rhodes scholar than the guy. Fortunately, the fish themselves are well-able to answer her query, with one responding and then the group of mounted fish launching into a rhythmic cadence of “Fishy, fishy!- – Fish, fish McBites!- -McBites!” Soon all of the trio are munching away on the item, with the guy saying not a word during the whole commercial, even to the women…
…and I thought that fish were reputed to be “brain food!” 
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, aquatic, furry commercials, television
Tags: Fish McBites ad, Fish McBites Fish Plaque
Comments: 2 Comments
February 14, 2013
– – Something’s fishy here! A few years back in 2009, McDonald’s produced an irritatingly memorable singing fish commercial, with the fish modeled after the singing “Billy Bass” novelty item, an electronic mounted fish that sang and moved about on its mounting. It was the kind of thing that you got tired of after seeing about twice. The earlier McDonald’s fish commercial could haunt you. “Gimme back that Filet of Fish, give me that fish!,” sang the McDonald’s spokes-fish. It took me some time to get that commercial out of my head…(shudders!)
…and what could be more memorable than a singing fish on a plaque?- -How about fifteen minnow-sized fish on a plaque, all singing together to sell you McDonald’s Fish McBites, now available for only a dollar, and for a limited time only! “Fishy, fishy!,” they sing while a guy in a checked flannel shirt stands there with his mouth open holding a dollar…the fish, they’re back, and are multiplying!
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, aquatic, furry commercials, scalies, television
Tags: Fish McBites Fish Plaque, singing fish
Comments: 2 Comments
February 7, 2013
– – Thanks to the Super Bowl commercial for Wheat Thins, we now know what the Big Foot secret agenda is; they want to steal into our kitchens under cover of darkness, and abscond with our snack crackers! The only defense against this tactic is to sit in the blackness ourselves with night vision goggles, and be prepared to grapple with them! It’s the manly and right thing to do…
“Who’s gonna take your Wheat Thins?,” asks the wife of the snack cracker vigilante as he hunkers down to guard his treasure. “I dunno,” responds the guy, “an intruder, the dog, Big Foot, Ted from next door,” he answers as the lights are put out on his request. Momentarily the lights are restored, and we behold the lone defender with his arms locked around a Yeti, who is flailing about! In the ensuing turmoil, dastardly Ted from next door darts in, and makes off with the Spicy Buffalo Wheat Thins! Ted is an opportunistic predator…
The commercial is appealingly cheesy as the “Yeti” is obviously someone in a costume rather than a computer-generated masterpiece, an example of where less can be more…
Categories: absurdities, cryptozoology, furry, furry commercials, humor, television
Tags: Big Foot snack snatcher, Wheat Thins yeti
Comments: 6 Comments
February 5, 2013
– – Goats tend to be slighted, and really don’t get the attention that they deserve. One crosses a goat at their own peril…or some might infer from the “Goat 4 Sale” commercial by Doritos featured on the Super Bowl.
Made by users and chosen by fans, the commercial features a goat named “Moose” who is depicted being picked up by a new owner at a yard sale. The owner-pet relationship appears to be a match made in heaven, as both the man and his new goat love Doritos, and the man appears to have a generous stock of the snack on hand. Alas, however, the man underestimated the passion of the goat for Doritos, and after the animal consumes hundreds of bags of the product (with loud, actual goat-chewing sounds), his owner attempts to cut him off and sell the goat. The goat screams a memorable, piercing scream, and then it’s pay-back time…beware the wrath of the goat! The raucous, boogie sound track of the spot is a blast, too…
Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Doritos goat, Moose the goat
Comments: 5 Comments
February 3, 2013
– – Maxwell the Geico pig continues to evolve; he doesn’t appear to exclaim “Wheee!” anymore, plays with electronics, and apparently can even drive a car. He could use some coaching on relationships with the opposite sex, however, passing up an ideal lover’s lane opportunity with a girl who appears to be hot for his porky body.- -Maxwell, it would seem, is more of a techie than a lover!
In the latest Geico commercial featuring Maxwell, he is stranded in a broken-down convertible car with a rather comely lass, and appears to be fooling with his hand-held device. “Did you just turn your ringer off so no one would interrupt us?,” questions the lady. Maxwell responds that he just used his Geico app to summon a tow truck, his ears rising as he finally perceives that his date wants to “pass the time.” Maxwell has an idea ready to pass the 30-minute waiting interval, and unfortunately it’s not the past-time that the lady apparently desires; no, for Maxwell immediately switches his hand-held to a rousing game of “Fruit Ninja!” The look of disappointment (or whatever) on his date’s eyes is classic as Maxwell enthusiastically launches into the game…
Many questions go unanswered. We are not told how Maxwell’s little legs can reach the car’s pedals, or how his cloven hooves can operate his device, for example…but at least we are spared the messy and probably distasteful details of human/pig relationships, something for which we all can be grateful…although I’m sure that some of our readership can relate to having dated real pigs! Thankfully, no one can refer to Maxwell as a chauvinist pig…
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, famous furries, furry art, furry commercials, television
Tags: Maxwell the Geico pig, Maxwell the pig's date
Comments: 2 Comments
January 25, 2013
– – Witches could use a good spin doctor to handle their bad PR problem; they’re often portrayed as ugly and evil. Hollywood has also put forth a number of doctored and rehashed variations lately on classic fairy tales, with Red Riding Hood one of the most common. In this vein, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters will be coming your way soon, conceived as an action fantasy sequel to the tale of two kids who stumble into a candy-covered witch house in the woods where they are taken prisoner and almost wind up consumed.
Well, in the 3D Witch Hunters, it’s now 15 years later, and the grown-up Hansel and Gretel are doing the Van Helsing thing on witches, who they shoot, stab, burn, and behead; at one point, a Gatling gun will be turned on them…there are serious anger issues here! Gretel is limber, and looks good in leather. At least it’s not intended to be taken seriously, and Witch Hunters mixes horror with hilarity. There will be ancient Bavarian milk bottles bearing pictures of missing witch-kidnapped children, for example. There will also be a troll named Edward…
I guess we’ll see what happens during the Feast of the Blood Moon in this Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer film produced by Will Ferrell and associates, and starring Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton as the dynamic duo…
Categories: absurdities, Brilliant but twisted, movies
Tags: Hansel and Gretel
Comments: 5 Comments
January 16, 2013
– – Seems like everyone’s a critic these days, even Fancy Bear from the FreeCreditScore commercial! It appears that you’re just not safe from having a home invasion by a bowler-hat wearing, cane and moustache-sporting bear in a dress jacket who criticizes your taste in home decor. “May I respond negatively about your porcelain poodle?,” interjects the well-dressed ursine intruder, disdainfully holding up the objectionable artifact. “This should be in the trash!,” he huffs. The commercial closes with Fancy Bear playing a piano piece while the properly scolded human couple sit listening on the couch.
Fancy Bear is not quite my cup of tea, and I dread to think of what he would say about half of the stuff that I have sitting around my house, such as a bust of a snarling werewolf…
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Fancy Bear
Comments: 3 Comments
December 25, 2012
– – We’ve had the movie, Snakes on a Plane, and now we have Maxwell the Pig in a commercial set on a plane, where two flight attendants are after him to turn off what they think is his “little word game.”- -Well, it turns out that Maxwell is actually using his Geico application to pay his bill, detailing a host of other potential functions which the flight attendants can’t quite swallow, one remarking that she’ll believe the accounting of the app’s functionality “when pigs fly.”
“Did she seriously just say that?!,” marvels Maxwell to a fellow passenger in this episode which is free of the “wee” squealing and the pinwheels that were Maxwell’s hallmarks in earlier commercials. Pigs, it would seem, fight stereotypes as do many of us for a variety of assorted reasons…
…and wishing Happy Holidays to all of our readers!
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Maxwell on a plane, Maxwell the pig
Comments: 2 Comments
December 21, 2012
– – Even when you are out in the woods in the darkness of night, you can apparently find attached to a tree a convenient brightly-illuminated medicine cabinet, filled with a wise, zen-like squirrel who will counsel the gastric-afflicted that “many hot dogs are within you,” and provide pepto bismol to go, in a convenient use-anywhere vial!
Such is the Pepto 2 Go TV commercial, “Squirrel.” Would you refer to such a squirrel as, “your nutty buddy?”–Nah, I’m not gonna touch that one…
Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: the Pepto Squirrel
Comments: 3 Comments
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