Archive for the ‘absurdities’ category
April 8, 2013
– – Wouldn’t you like to have a hawk for a friend that obligingly drops off a cold drink when you’ve a hankering for one? The dude in the “No Man’s Land” commercial for Dr. Pepper 10 does, and also frolics with a bear in the wilderness, tears and chews bark right off a tree, and effortlessly carries a huge log with one arm! Such things are apparently possible when you partake of “The Manliest Low-Calorie Soda in the History of Mankind.” Welcome to the manly world of Dr. Pepper 10, so manly it’s packaged in gunmetal-gray cans.- -Would Hillary Clinton drink this?- –I think not!
‘Ya see, diet sodas are frequently perceived as wimpy drinks unfavored by manly men, so the good folks at Dr. Pepper have brought us this neo-version of Grizzly Adams to counter this perception. Partaking of it’s “bold flavor” and ten calories enables us to be “wild and free,” or so they would have us believe; all that’s missing is a drum circle. So much for guys being sensitive and in touch with our feelings, and I like my diet drinks just fine.- -I’ll gladly take a friendly hawk and a bear buddy, though, if anyone’s offering…
Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Dr. Pepper 10
Comments: 2 Comments
April 2, 2013
– – Back when special effects were a lot less special in the 1960’s, we were treated to an episode of Star Trek (The Original Series) called Arena where a young William Shatner’s James T. Kirk fought a powerful but ponderous and slow-moving reptilian creature called a Gorn.- –Well, 46 years after their original encounter, Shatner is again rematched with his scaly rival in a commercial for a Star Trek video game debuting this month. The duo is comfortably seated on a sofa in a cozy living room, each one armed with a video controller and engaged in virtual on-screen combat!
Things get a little heated, and the two arise to their feet to engage in hand-to-hand combat, complete with sofa cushions being thrown, and the legendary Starfleet captain dodging clumsy swings by the reptilian! When the combatants clinch, Shatner breaks the reptile’s hold by smacking his palms over its ear orifices. As the Gorn moans in pain, Shatner accuses it of overacting, and out of breath admonishes it that, “We’re both too old for this kind of thing!”- -Wonderful stuff!
The Gorn depicted is true to the original creature, complete with bulky costume and compound eyes. A computer-generated Gorn as later seen in an episode of Star Trek: Enterprise was considerably more agile, and moved quickly. This flashback, however, reminds us of what may be Gorn, but not forgotten…
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry commercials, scalies, sci fi, television
Tags: Shatner and Gorn commercial, Shatner vs. Gorn
Comments: 2 Comments
March 29, 2013
– – Many of us like to hug kittens, but would you like to wear them?- -Not as skins, heaven forbid, but as living, moving creatures? It would be unnatural, and possibly a bit surreal if not creepy. Then you’d probably pick up a lot of cat hair, and what if one of them had to pee or poop? Many would be the problems of a kitten shirt, not to be confused with a hair shirt, worn in the Middle Ages to mortify the flesh, which is not an idea much in vogue in contemporary society…
…well, hair shirts were worn intentionally to be uncomfortable, and the idea of this commercial for Hanes ComfortBlend T-shirts and underwear is that they’re as soft or next best to being covered with luxurious kitten fur. To drive home that point, we are shown a man wearing a digitally-enhanced shirt of many kittens, and they don’t seem to be overly-distressed by being worn, moving slightly and mewing independently. The kitten-shirt wearing man doesn’t seem to be getting much support on his attire from his friends, so he taps Hanes spokesman Michael Jordan for his opinion. Michael doesn’t seem to think much of kitten shirts either, and you can bet that PETA would be of the same frame of mind.
While cat-friendly, I doubt I’d like a kitten shirt, as well. Now if you’d care to cover me with Catwoman, however, that’s another matter entirely…
Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Hanes cat commercial, kitten undershirt
Comments: 2 Comments
March 27, 2013
– – He understands marketing completely, wears an electronic speech translation device around his neck, and occasionally eats his staff members…that’s Mr. Wolfdog, the marketing director brought in by Old Spice to promote their Wild Collection fragrance line. Wolfie knows his way around an office, and his is complete with devices like calculators, business awards, and desk toys like a Newton’s Cradle. Wolfdog is also a busy rascal, having made a series of banner ads, a number of videos posted on YouTube, animated GIFs, and even an album of inspirational business music called Night Business, with cover art featuring Wolfie in shades and a cool casual suit! His credentials include being Alpha Male for Deciduous Forest Pack #13588 in Woods, Montana.
It’s all parody, but with videos such as How to Give Constructive Criticism (“Use a compliment kabob!,” “Wear a criticism sweater!”), Wolfdog is a more authentic, creative, and benign supervisor than some I’ve had.- -I could work for this guy! He’d be a great improvement, actually…
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Director Wolfdog, Old Spice's Wolfdog
Comments: 3 Comments
March 19, 2013
– – It’s cheesy, and proud of it…Wolfman Mac’s Chiller Drive-In, that is! Many of us when young grew up with regional variations of the “Chiller Theater” concept, a show usually on Saturday night which presented horror or science fiction films from the 1950’s or 1960’s, such “The Crawling Eye” or “Attack of the 50-Foot Woman.” Armed with a freshly-made batch of Jiffy Pop popcorn, I’d settle down before the tube for two hours of kiddie bliss. Horror and sci fi films of that era weren’t terribly graphic and the special effects were laughable by today’s standards, but they were great stuff to a ten-year-old! Some of those shows included hosts, such as Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.
Wolfman Mac is cut from the same cloth as such hosts, but he’s lower budget still. He’s a werewolf who runs a dilapidated drive-in located in the fictional town of Hauntington Heights that shows B-grade horror movies you’ll marvel were ever made. The Wolfman’s sidekick is an wisecracking, extremely fake-looking plastic skeleton called Boney Bob. There are over a dozen cast members that include TORG the robot, a guy in a cardboard box costume; and the nutty Professor M. Balmer. During breaks from the movie, they perform skits that mirror or parody the action from the flick. It’s not Shakespeare, but is great late-night fun!
Wolfman Mac is in real life Mac Kelly, who as a kid loved old horror films, werewolves, and all things Halloween. Originally a local show, it’s now carried nationally by the Retro Television Network, but has retained all of its high camp charm…
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, television
Tags: Wolfman Mac
Comments: 2 Comments
March 14, 2013
– – Litter Genie is a cat litter disposal system, not to be confused with Little Genie, the Elton John song. Anyways, Litter Genie features a spokes-cat named Walter, who is a bit of a singing sensation himself. Walter has actually cut some music videos, one of which is called I Haz a Pie Row Tek Nik, performing as Walter and the Awful Pawfuls. My favorite Walter video, however, is a flashback to the psychedelic sixties, with the fab feline performing I Haz a Catnip in Mah Head with Walter and the Wizards. This is from an album called, Litter Trippin’.
Yet another of Walter’s music videos is called, Me Luvz Mahself, with Walter performing with the Lap Cats and featuring rhythm and blues styling with cats wearing gold chains and gem-studded collars. As it was sung in The Aristocats, “Everybody Wants to be a Cat”…meow!
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: the Litter Genie cat, Walter
Comments: 5 Comments
March 5, 2013
– – Somewhere in life, we’ve all seen some variation of the old horse costume gag…you know, a costume where one guy poses as the front end of a horse, and his hapless partner literally brings up the rear! Well, a recent Little Caesar’s commercial takes us to a costume party where we see two dudes in that classic horse costume get-up with their component pieces separated, and a girl in a princess costume brings it to their attention that Little Caesar’s is offering pepperoni pizza for a mere five bucks!
Galvanized into action, our two heroes then dash out the door where we cut to a scene of a magnificent stallion galloping hard across the desert to suitable rousing music! The scene then changes again to the interior of a Little Caesar’s restaurant where we see the front end of the horse bent over and gasping for breath, poor guy. The guy in the rear end arrives just slightly later, sweated but able to voice their pizza order.- -It’s a great revival of the classic horse costume gag, and the noble equine tradition!
Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry commercials, television
Tags: Little Caesar's horse costume
Comments: 3 Comments
March 3, 2013
– – The Harlem Shake is kind of a flash mob performance or “happening,” a kind of random visual absurdity that is both a dance and a song. Since furries are no strangers to absurdity but rather exist within and delight in it, it’s no wonder that a number of videos are out there showing furries from locations around the world performing the Harlem Shake.- -Anyways, I’d rather see some fursons in well-make outfits performing the number than someone in a cheesy banana suit!
Animal influences have figured in a number of dance crazes, such as the horse dance featured in the Gangnam Style video by PSY, so why not enjoy such things?- -It’s the weekend, after all! One must learn when to stop making sense…
Categories: absurdities, animal presence, anthropomorphic, furries, music, videos
Tags: Furry Harlem Shake, Horse Dance
Comments: 2 Comments
February 25, 2013
– – We’ve all heard of pulled pork, but Geico takes Maxwell the pig to a different level of meaning with this when a police officer pulls his blue convertible over in a recent commercial. Maxwell hands the officer his license and registration as well as his Geico digital insurance card. Now it turns out that the cop doesn’t have a problem with the fact that a pig is driving, but rather the fact that Maxwell’s tail light is out. “Fix it!,” orders the cop before walking away.
At least we haven’t seen an example of species profiling from the unflappable officer…
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Maxwell pulled over, pig driving a convertible
Comments: 3 Comments
February 19, 2013
– – When an asteroid passes within a cosmic whisker of Earth and a meteorite smashes down in the former Soviet Union, one might not be totally surprised that small, plaque-mounted anthropomorphic fish are becoming more vocal than humans. In a variant of the McDonald’s Fish McBites commercial, we again visit with the young gentleman in the checked plaid shirt, this time in a beautiful, wood-paneled cabin.
Two young women enter the cabin through the door and see the young guy feeding his face. “Hey, what are those?,” asks one of the women, clearly no more of a Rhodes scholar than the guy. Fortunately, the fish themselves are well-able to answer her query, with one responding and then the group of mounted fish launching into a rhythmic cadence of “Fishy, fishy!- – Fish, fish McBites!- -McBites!” Soon all of the trio are munching away on the item, with the guy saying not a word during the whole commercial, even to the women…
…and I thought that fish were reputed to be “brain food!” 
Categories: absurdities, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, aquatic, furry commercials, television
Tags: Fish McBites ad, Fish McBites Fish Plaque
Comments: 2 Comments
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