Archive for the ‘twisted reality’ category
June 3, 2019
Most of the great ones are here…the most iconic Geico spokesmen, that is, in a recent commercial set in their makeup trailer! We briefly see the Gecko, the squirrels, the sloth, the Caveman (“Let’s do the eyebrows first”), and the contest winner, Kathleen. But where is the Camel, it’s asked?
“Mr. Big Shot’s got his own trailer,” bitterly answers the Caveman, and we cut to that location, where we see the Camel in the lap of luxury, receiving the ministrations of two makeup artists while he sips on a lemonade and Alonzo Vasquez’s Rollout tune pumps. Even Joe Camel of cigarette fame never had it this good! – – Ahh, being Number One has its privileges!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Best of Geico commercial, Geico's camel in makeup
Comments: 7 Comments
June 1, 2019
It’s good to see The Slowskys again, especially with Bill Jr. growing up so fast! Parents Bill and Karolyn continue to live life in the slow lane, loving drip coffee, lay-overs, and being put on hold; heck, they even get snail mail, delivered by an authentic snail! With today’s posting comes the message that they’ve been invited to a Y2K party, to which Bill Jr. quips, “Wasn’t that like 20 years ago?”
“Oh look, Karolyn, we’ve got a mathematician on our hands,” grouses the father turtle in the Xfinity commercial.- – Ahh, the impetuousness of youth! Young Bill Jr. is a modern, with-it kinda reptile, however, sporting his headphones and backwards-turned ball cap and tapping away on his Xfinity powered cell phone. This is a turtle of today’s generation who’s on the move, and headed to the future…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: The Slowskys snail mail
Comments: 2 Comments
May 24, 2019
I’ve often pondered whether I’d make a suitable henchman, since I have a dark side and would accordingly make a lousy sidekick for a hero. I have some unanswered questions, however, that would first need to be addressed. – – Does the job pay well?- – How about the benefits and the retirement plan? Are there stock options? I think that I’d like to work for Frank Gorshin’s The Riddler to feed off his manic energy, but I’d simply have to have a better set of duds than what his goons usually wear. Classic gangster henchmen have a good sense of fashion…
Like heroes, the best henchmen work alone, but in confrontations can never actually defeat the hero, or they threaten to usurp the villain’s status. This doesn’t mean that they can’t actually beat the snot out of the hero as did Oddjob to James Bond, at least until he figures out a way to defeat them. A henchman who defeats a hero has upgraded to the status of villain, which brings a whole new set of problems, including the recruitment of new henchmen, and all the labor relations issues that come with that. Heavy is the head that wears the crown…
Then there are those characters like the Seven Dwarves to Snow White who are neither sidekicks nor henchmen. They fall into the category of not otherwise specified (NOS) figures.
I guess that I’ll just continue to work alone, which seems most fitting to brood over the fate of a city, anyways…
Categories: iconic, strange, twisted reality
Tags: henchmen, sidekicks
Comments: 2 Comments
May 14, 2019
Things get stranger and stranger in the world of advertising, where weird means memorable which can equate to name recognition and subsequently business. Duncan the walrus is an unlikely representative of Geico insurance, but he certainly gets the job done, just as he completely fills the hockey goal, making it impossible for the opposing team to score in a recent Geico ad. Geico makes it easy to get help when you need it, you see, by having licensed agents available 24/7, and it’s not just Geico easy, it’s “having a walrus in the goal easy…”
Duncan is decked out in protective hockey gear, even though it’s ludicrously too small for him. We see in the commercial spot a hockey puck bounce off his shin guard, while a frustrated opposing team skater grouses that the walrus is “ridiculous.” The team coach off on the sidelines doesn’t think so, shouting “Way to go, Duncan!” as he throws the walrus a fish from a bucket that Duncan catches on the fly. The sidelined coach and team members then further show their appreciation of the goalie by making walrus sounds. Having had his fish and excitement, the walrus must then be admonished not to fall asleep on the ice. “Duncan, stay up! No sleepies!,” cries the coach in the closing.
One wonders if Duncan in his off hours doesn’t reflect upon the lyrics from the 1967 Beatles Magical Mystery Tour album, for he is the walrus…“goo goo j’goob.”
Categories: absurdities, advertising, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Duncan the walrus, Geico walrus goalie
Comments: 4 Comments
April 8, 2019
Back in the 1960’s, sitcoms ruled television, and many of them were poorly connected with actual life…heck, we even watched Gilligan’s Island! A show called Hazel which ran from the early to mid-60’s even featured a household maid as the title character. Drawing upon this television tradition, a recent Progressive commercial features their iconic spokesperson Flo unwillingly cast into the role of new maid by the generic middle class family moving into a house that Flo is merely trying to inspect, but at each turn she’s perceived as being “the wacky new maid” who just pops up unexpectedly everywhere while they are performing such activities as carrying a large decorative fish into the bathroom.
The Progressive commercial even includes a theme soundtrack written just for the ad that has a 60’s sound and sitcom feel, and includes the lyrics, “she’s not the maid we wanted, but she’s the maid we’ve got.” Actress/comedian Stephanie Courtney as Flo shouting her disclaimer at the family in their front yard seems to do little to sway the neighborhood impression of her, however, in this retro sitcom parody…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal abuse, Brilliant but twisted, furry, television, twisted reality
Tags: Progressive's Flo as maid
Comments: 10 Comments
March 29, 2019
I had thought that last November’s KFC commercial featuring a Colonel Sanders impersonator dancing with a human-sized bottle of Mrs. Butterworth syrup was a once-and-done thing, but in a companion piece commercial airing currently, the Colonel is back, complete with a misty, bedroom-eyes type expression as he meets Mrs. Butterworth in a marble hallway while a Celine Dion ballad plays. I know that they say “the South shall rise again,” but this is ridiculous!
Mrs. Butterworth appears to make the first move as the impossible couple stare into each other’s faces and the Colonel caresses her molded plastic cheek, probably thinking of all the syrupy goodness contained within…then the couple lean towards one another as a preliminary to a kiss which thankfully, we don’t get to see!
I don’t know what will happen next, and frankly prefer not to go there. Some things are best left to the imagination, and I cringe to think of a Sanders/Butterworth union. Perhaps in the aftermath, however, a horror writer could pen an installment called Children of the Syrup. It would not be suitable for children or sensitive individuals, and viewer discretion is advised…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, bizarre, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, humor, television, twisted reality
Tags: Colonel Sanders and Mrs.Butterworth, The Most Delicious Union
Comments: 8 Comments
March 26, 2019
In a hokey but charmingly surreal commercial, Johnsonville Jeff is eating his breakfast sausage out in the deep woods when he is approached by a talking raccoon asking about his meal. In the shorter version of the ad, Jeff also interacts with a wolf and a turkey, whereas the longer version additionally adds a squirrel and a porcupine. Most notably the wolf asks the man in the longer version where he learned how to talk to animals. “Books,” replies Jeff in a deadpan fashion, as if there was really nothing remarkable about the encounter; he’s kind of like Dr. Doolittle in hunting garb. They all have a good laugh together at the end, with the wild turkey practically loosing control of himself…
Johnsonville Sausage incorporates employee input in all phases of their operation, including this commercial which was conceived and is starred in by an actual long-term company employee. Since without the animal presence this commercial would consist of ho-hum talk about sausage, we’ll listen to anything if an animal presents it!
Categories: advertising, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Johnsonville forest animals, Johnsonville Jeff and Forest Friends
Comments: 1 Comment
March 18, 2019
For many years now, insurance companies like Geico and Progressive have been producing clever and memorable commercials to tout and lure us to their services. Arriving a bit late to the commercial fray, Liberty Mutual has now produced commercials that incorporate an animal representative in the rather unlikely character of an emu…
These ads invoke the “buddy cop” series of the 1970’s, exemplified by such shows as Starsky and Hutch; Robert Blake’s series Beretta even included a cockatoo as Beretta’s companion.
In the Liberty Mutual commercials, the bird becomes even more of an active partner, riding shotgun with his human partner Doug while wearing aviator sunglasses! Called the LiMu Emu, this bird rocks, although in the Reflections ad he does have a bit of a problem interacting with his own image in a window glass, showing those bobbing, weaving, and pecking behaviors that birds sometimes manifest when confronted with reflections that they consider to be another bird. Partner Doug explains that the LiMu Emu spends so much time time interacting with humans on insurance customization that he doesn’t know quite how to respond to another bird, but that he’ll “figure it out.”
Now I know how to distinguish my own reflection, but do confess to a weakness with distractions posed by shiny things. At any rate, we can rely on the new dynamic duo of the LiMu Emu and Doug, and as Beretta might have reminded us, “Keep your eye on the sparrow…”
Categories: advertising, animal elements, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Liberty Mutual emu, LiMu Emu
Comments: 5 Comments
February 28, 2019
After nine episodes, The Masked Singer concluded its first season on February 27th, that episode clocking in at an inflated two hours. The first hour was a recap of the contestants previously unmasked and eliminated, leading down to the three finalists of Monster, Bee, and Peacock. My enthusiasm for the series dwindled when Rabbit (Joey Fatone) was eliminated in the semi-finals, which I think was caused by his later selection of materials, none of which generated the excitement of his first performance of “Livin’ La Vida Loca.” No one really wanted to hear Rabbit sing “My Girl” or perform a country number, although he reportedly remained in character even when on breaks during rehearsals, and I felt that he and Peacock best incorporated dance and stage presence into their performances. Perhaps these guys could continue to perform as their costumed characters; I’d go to a psychotic Rabbit concert!
I was rather surprised that Bee (Gladys Knight) came in third, with the Peacock (Donny Osmond) coming in second…this guy is an underrated performer! Monster (T-Pain) won the top honors with his soulful croonings, and seemed to be a sentimental favorite despite being nearly eliminated in an early round.
The series was weird stuff, but we are living in strange times for which the antidote may be this kind of freaky escapism…and by the way, The Masked Singer has been renewed for a second season, to begin at an unspecified date…
Categories: anthropomorphic, fantasy, furry, television, twisted reality
Tags: "Masked Singer" finale
Comments: 3 Comments
February 21, 2019
I, for one, am not surprised that the Banana Splits gang are finally going homicidal; they always were rather surreal, shady, and oddly disturbing, and one knew that there had to be something more darkly seething under the surface than what they wanted you to see.
For those of you who just fell off the turnip truck, the Banana Splits were an oddball creation of Sid and Marty Krofft, and were people costumed in cheap fursuits with unchanging and unmovable faces that presented themselves as being a gorilla, elephant, dog, and lion on kiddie television episodes that aired from 1968 to 1970, continuing afterwards in syndication for a decade. They were supposedly a rock band, and a typical segment might involve them running madly about before running into one another and falling down. Their theme song was extremely annoying, but an ear worm that could play inside your head, driving you to madness. It was the ’60’s, after all, and we didn’t know any better.
Anyways, the Syfy channel is bringing back the Banana Splits for a movie in which a boy and his parents go to a taping of the old show when things take a turn for the worse, and the body count starts rising. I’ve always suspected that this moment would be coming…
Categories: anthropomorphic, furry, television, twisted reality
Tags: Banana Splits movie, Banana Splits on Syfy
Comments: 6 Comments
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