Attics may be disquieting places in which the stored past lives on, even intruding on the present. Mannequins can be creepy because they imitate a life that they lack, a horrific potential that has been explored in Twilight Zone stories among others. As part of their GEICOween series, the Gecko takes a new homeowner into the attic of his recent house acquisition, convinced that doing so can reveal the home’s charm in what has been left behind. While the Gecko discovers a music box complete with a tiny ballerina, the focal point of this attic is a table around which are seated a number of broken mannequins, their faces frozen in a variety of peculiar and even disturbing expressions as they partake of a tea party of the damned…
Observing these house haunts is a bit too much for the new owner of the abode, who beats a hasty retreat from further exploration of his discovery. Perhaps in the Rod Serling tradition, these mannequins each have stories to tell, and lives that they live when not under observation. I’d join their little attic party for tea and tales, wouldn’t you?
The inference is that while Geico may not be able to help you with malevolent spirits in your home, they can assist you with homeowners and renters insurance. Just keep an eye on those mannequins, OK?- –Boo!
In a series of Halloween-themed commercials, Geico insurance introduces us to Griselda the witch, a witchy but wonderfully hip witch who builds on traditional stereotypes to in one commercial host a karaoke cooking show, complete with bubbling cauldron in which angel sneezes and a thumb drive are added to the brew!
But I digress…in one wonderful, furry-themed commercial, two female college students have taken in Griselda as a compromise roommate, one seeking someone who can help with the cooking, and the other wanting someone who likes cats. Griselda fits the bill nicely, spoon-feeding one of the students soup that transforms her into an anthropomorphic cat complete with cat ears, facial features, and furry forearms… I’d drink of that brew anytime! While her cooking may be questionable, Geico can really help these students with renters insurance, we’re told.
Anyways, Griselda is a real hoot as is her furry creation, and deserves to be a breakout character. We Halloween lovers thank you, Geico…watch for yourself, and meow!
(tip o’ the pen to Carycomic for the idea for this post!)
The Masked Singer is back for a second season on Fox, that show which plays like American Idol on psychotropic drugs. Contestants wear full body costumes head to toe which totally conceal their identity, and perform popular musical numbers for which they are judged over intervening weeks in an elimination contest. The show is hosted by Nick Cannon, and also features celebrity panelists including Robin Thicke and Dr. Ken Jeong. Shamelessly weird, the show also incorporates “security personnel” who dress like the Men in Black attired in black suits and ties and wearing sunglasses at all times. I’m OK with all of this, as I prefer my fantasy worlds to reality, anyways…weird is good, and works for me!
Episode 1 for the second season commenced with a contestant called Butterfly performing Bang, Bang in competition with Egg who performed Just Dance. The costume worn by Butterfly was suitably dazzling and iridescent, and coupled with a good set of pipes enabled her to emerge victorious over Egg, who was later unmasked to reveal Johnny Weir. In a second matchup, Thingamajig (don’t ask) performing I’m Easy defeated Skeleton who performed Rappers Delight. A third pairing pitted Ladybug who sang Holding Out for a Hero against Rottweiler, who won with Maneater performed against a chain link fence that also appropriately housed a fire hydrant, which thankfully he didn’t use during the performance. Rottweiler was my furry fave for the night, working with backup dancers who wore canine masks and featured a rather sensuous and lithe female worth howling over. This was one fine bitch, and I’m not using the word in the pejorative sense!
The final pairing was even more surreal, with a contestant Tree dressed as a Xmas Tree performing High Hopes and defeating Ice Cream who sang Old Town Road. Ice Cream was unmasked as Tyler “Ninja” Bleving following a second chance “smackdown” defeat by Ladybug, who appropriately won singing Hit Me With Your Best Shot.
With two insect costumes and only one identifiable mammal, I was a little disappointed although an upcoming episode features a feline performer and one of personal interest called Mr. Fox, who appears to have steampunk stylings. Until we see their performances, I’m putting my paws up for Rottweiler…he’s such agood boy, even if he does remind me of Homer Simpson in an episode of The Simpsons where he voiced Poochie the dog…
AMC’s show Preacher is one of the most over-the-top shows on television, outrageous yet compelling, and definitely not for children, those easily offended, or squeamish about blood and violence. The series is complex and twisted, and so I won’t begin to attempt to explain it here; it even has Hitler and a likable vampire as recurring characters! At any rate, in the Deviant episode of the current season (Season 4, Episode 3), central character Jesse Custer enters DeSade’s House of Entertainment to rescue a child, and winds up fighting and prevailing against a small army within that included furries, people costumed as anthropomorphic animals.
The fight scene was extended, epic, and spectacular, beginning with fists and progressing from there to blunt objects, then knives, and finally guns. Preacher Jesse was victorious, of course, because it is after all, his show! I’m not quite comfortable with the portrayal of furries on the episode and I’ve seen far better fursuits, but it was all intended to be outrageous in keeping with the general tone of the series, which has previously given us the divinity in a Dalmatian suit…
Well, everybody’s heard about the bird…the Chantix turkey, that is! And while I’m aware that the turkey is paddleboarding rather than surfing, they missed a great chance to use 1963’s Surfin’ Bird by the Trashmen as the sound track for this commercial!
Now there was foreshadowing for this commercial in the last one when we saw the turkey getting out his flip-flops, knocking them together, arranging seashells, and looking at beach scenes on his phone. We shoulda seen this coming, folks. And as I’ve said before, this turkey has a better life than I do. He even returns from his beach visit in the coolest little convertible vehicle that suits him perfectly!
In my twisted mind, I can see Peter Griffin from Family Guy either getting into a dance-off or perhaps a fistfight with the turkey. And like Peter Griffin, “I dream of an America where everybody knows that the bird is the word.” Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow!
The iconic KFC founder and spokesman Colonel Sanders has enjoyed a lively if bizarre post-mortem career, melding into Robocop, being portrayed by Reba McEntire, and even tripping the light fantastic with Mrs.Butterworth. Now the Colonel has morphed once again to be portrayed by Chester Cheetah, retaining the original’s trademark white suit, beard, and tie. Frankly, this spokes-cat wears the garb well!
And so it comes to pass that Cheetos mascot Chester Cheetah becomes Colonel Chester to mark the launch of a new Cheetos Sandwich, even skateboarding in his commercial outing. The popular anthropomorphic mascot is but the latest in a kind of rotating spokesperson concept for the franchise. Time will tell if he continues to be “dangerously cheesy…“
This is truly bizarre; cool and creepy at the same time, like some fiendish device created by Skynet to work towards the extermination of the human race. We’ve all heard of Centaurs, those fusions of man and horse, and we know about Minotaurs, those hybrids of bull and man. Cyborgs are a fusion of man and machine, and apparently if we make the inorganic components those of a motorcycle, we’ve got ourselves a Motaur…word play intentional.
The Progressive commercial plays off of the close linkage between a biker and their machine, and the Motaur (played by Terrence Terrell) is literally fused to his, although in conversation with bikers he reveals that he sometimes wishes for legs with his machine components on top. “For those who love to ride, there’s Progressive,” we are told by the announcer, leaving us to wonder if an ailing Motaur sees a physician or a mechanic…and how many miles per gallon does he get?!
In our most recent Chantix commercial, we get to venture inside of the Turkey’s home, and it’s an immaculate, spacious place…certainly nicer than my den! Now it’s cold inside his home, symbolic of the old “cold turkey” approach to smoking cessation, so the turkey turns off his window air conditioner, and dons a colorful sweater vest…this is the “slow turkey” method, after all…
Our feathered friend does all kinds of things at home, like tending to his aquarium, moving some sea shell souvenirs, mixing up what appears to be lemonade, and getting his flip-flops out of the closet. I really don’t know how they will fit on his turkey feet, but he somehow managed to wear hiking boots when we saw him camping. Yes, it would appear that our boy may be planning a visit to the beach! I envy him…
Perhaps our next episode will be subtitled, Bird at the Beach, or perhaps more simply, Living With A Turkey. I’m sure that’s a title that many of us could identify with! Here are a few other suggested segments:
– – The Chantix Turkey in, “Beach Blanket Bingo!”
– – The Chantix Turkey in, “Fowl Play!”
– – “The Chantix Turkey Meets Rocket Raccoon!”
– – “The Chantix Turkey in “Feathered Fiends!”
– – “Turkey in the White House!” (- -nudge, nudge, wink, wink)
Most of the great ones are here…the most iconic Geico spokesmen, that is, in a recent commercial set in their makeup trailer! We briefly see the Gecko, the squirrels, the sloth, the Caveman (“Let’s do the eyebrows first”), and the contest winner, Kathleen. But where is the Camel, it’s asked?
“Mr. Big Shot’s got his own trailer,” bitterly answers the Caveman, and we cut to that location, where we see the Camel in the lap of luxury, receiving the ministrations of two makeup artists while he sips on a lemonade and Alonzo Vasquez’s Rollout tune pumps. Even Joe Camel of cigarette fame never had it this good! – – Ahh, being Number One has its privileges!
It’s good to see The Slowskys again, especially with Bill Jr. growing up so fast! Parents Bill and Karolyn continue to live life in the slow lane, loving drip coffee, lay-overs, and being put on hold; heck, they even get snail mail, delivered by an authentic snail! With today’s posting comes the message that they’ve been invited to a Y2K party, to which Bill Jr. quips, “Wasn’t that like 20 years ago?”
“Oh look, Karolyn, we’ve got a mathematician on our hands,” grouses the father turtle in the Xfinity commercial.- – Ahh, the impetuousness of youth! Young Bill Jr. is a modern, with-it kinda reptile, however, sporting his headphones and backwards-turned ball cap and tapping away on his Xfinity powered cell phone. This is a turtle of today’s generation who’s on the move, and headed to the future…
FOXSYLVANIA 
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