Archive for the ‘furry commercials’ category
September 14, 2019
Dean Winters is back as the Allstate Mayhem guy, a role he plays to perfection…and he’s no stranger to playing animals as well, having played a raccoon in the attic in an earlier outing (below)…
This time he’s portraying a cat, and the absurdity and whimsy of his portrayal is enhanced by the fact that he’s neither in costume nor CGI enhanced, but simply appearing as a normally dressed adult human male adopting feline mannerisms, poses, and behaviors.
“I’m your cat,” announces Winters, “and ever since you brought me home that day, I’ve been plotting to destroy you,” he declares calmly, flashing back to his batting away the petting hand of his male owner on that first day. We are show Winters doing a variety of iconic cat-things, like playing with kitty-toys while lying on his owner’s couch, and spitting a mouse onto their sleeping face. “I’ve been sizing you up, calculating your every move,” Winters shares as he peers from a cat-condo and rides a Roomba. “You think this is love? This is a billion years of tiger DNA, waiting to pounce!” Eventually a faucet left running by the Winters-cat overflows the sink, causing the upstairs bathroom to collapse down to the floor below. His feline agenda is proceeding nicely…
“If you have the wrong type of insurance, you could be stuck coughing up the cash for this,” advises Winters as he coughs up bird feathers by a now vacant cage. “So get Allstate, and you could be better protected from Mayhem, like meow,” he closes, dipping his fingers into a cat-food bowl bearing the name “Mayhem,” and laughing in a rather sinister fashion, his outfit complete with a collar and tag…the devil is in the details, you see!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, furry perspectives, television
Tags: Allstate Cat Commercial, Mayhem Cat
Comments: 10 Comments
September 8, 2019
I would probably have long since starved to death were it not for peanut butter. I’ve eaten it since childhood, and continue to turn to it several times a week. At times, I even crave it; peanut butter is my go-to lunch and snack of choice when I don’t know what to eat. That being said, I indulge my guilty pleasure at home; even I may not be seen at a park, slathering peanut butter on a slice of bread. I’ve never been known to carry a jar of peanut butter around with me; I’m just not that hard-core…
…not so the curly-haired young lady in our Jif commercial! Seated on a park bench, she whips herself up a thickly-spread slice of peanut butter bread, only to find herself approached by a squirrel. Aww…isn’t he cute? Who could deny him? So she gives him a tidbit, and is soon approached by another squirrel, then another! No good deed goes unpunished, after all. Soon the woman is surrounded by dozens of squirrels, kinda like what happens when you feed french fries to sea gulls at the beach…
…It’s then that the commercial takes a surreal turn, for towering above the sea of squirrels is a creepy man-squirrel, wearing a squirrel mask that covers his entire head. He, too, is seeking a hand-out, and even making beseeching squirrel-noises. Is this a peanut butter pervert? And what should the young lady do? Mace him, scream for help, or try to bean him with the peanut butter jar? This question is left unanswered, but some people will go to any lengths for the product. It’s that Jif’ing good, we’re told. I do sympathize, honestly, sharing the addiction…
…but in my twisted mind fed by a love for horror, the question lingers; what happens when the woman runs out of peanut butter? Do the legion of squirrels and their squirrel-headed human-sized leader decide that the lady might be tasty, too? A few pounce on her to take a tentative nibble, and soon she is writhing under a blanket of them…Aieee! (The screen fades to black as we hear squirrels chittering…the Day of the Squirrel is at hand!)
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animals, anomalies, anthropomorphic, bizarre, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, humor, Questionably creepy, strange, television
Tags: Jif squirrel
Comments: 7 Comments
August 10, 2019
I’m seeing him more places; large, inflated Car Foxes, that is! When I beheld my first one of them, I fought an urge to pull my car over, throw myself at his feet, and vow my everlasting love and allegiance. But no, people wouldn’t understand, there would be the court-mandated psychiatric evaluations, and the pushy car salesmen would just try to sell me a Ford or Buick. So for the present I worship from afar, knowing that the great and terrible day of the revolution is almost at hand, and that the vision of those far-seeing eyes and kindly smile may be relied on. The Car Fox wouldn’t steer me wrong…
…but sometime under cover of darkness, I shall employ my vulpine gifts of stealth and cunning, and slyly return to liberate the Car Fox from his cruel restraints so that he can lead his children, as is his right and destiny! Then the day of reckoning will be at hand, I reckon...
Categories: advertising, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: inflated car fox
Comments: 5 Comments
July 10, 2019
The iconic KFC founder and spokesman Colonel Sanders has enjoyed a lively if bizarre post-mortem career, melding into Robocop, being portrayed by Reba McEntire, and even tripping the light fantastic with Mrs.Butterworth. Now the Colonel has morphed once again to be portrayed by Chester Cheetah, retaining the original’s trademark white suit, beard, and tie. Frankly, this spokes-cat wears the garb well!
And so it comes to pass that Cheetos mascot Chester Cheetah becomes Colonel Chester to mark the launch of a new Cheetos Sandwich, even skateboarding in his commercial outing. The popular anthropomorphic mascot is but the latest in a kind of rotating spokesperson concept for the franchise. Time will tell if he continues to be “dangerously cheesy…“
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, twisted reality
Tags: KFC's Colonel Chester
Comments: 9 Comments
June 9, 2019
In our most recent Chantix commercial, we get to venture inside of the Turkey’s home, and it’s an immaculate, spacious place…certainly nicer than my den! Now it’s cold inside his home, symbolic of the old “cold turkey” approach to smoking cessation, so the turkey turns off his window air conditioner, and dons a colorful sweater vest…this is the “slow turkey” method, after all…
Our feathered friend does all kinds of things at home, like tending to his aquarium, moving some sea shell souvenirs, mixing up what appears to be lemonade, and getting his flip-flops out of the closet. I really don’t know how they will fit on his turkey feet, but he somehow managed to wear hiking boots when we saw him camping. Yes, it would appear that our boy may be planning a visit to the beach! I envy him…
Perhaps our next episode will be subtitled, Bird at the Beach, or perhaps more simply, Living With A Turkey. I’m sure that’s a title that many of us could identify with! Here are a few other suggested segments:
– – The Chantix Turkey in, “Beach Blanket Bingo!”
– – The Chantix Turkey in, “Fowl Play!”
– – “The Chantix Turkey Meets Rocket Raccoon!”
– – “The Chantix Turkey in “Feathered Fiends!”
– – “Turkey in the White House!” (- -nudge, nudge, wink, wink)
(…the possibilities are unlimited, folks!)
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, commercials, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, the plant kingdom, twisted reality
Tags: Chantix turkey, Chantix Turkey in Cold Turkey
Comments: 7 Comments
June 3, 2019
Most of the great ones are here…the most iconic Geico spokesmen, that is, in a recent commercial set in their makeup trailer! We briefly see the Gecko, the squirrels, the sloth, the Caveman (“Let’s do the eyebrows first”), and the contest winner, Kathleen. But where is the Camel, it’s asked?
“Mr. Big Shot’s got his own trailer,” bitterly answers the Caveman, and we cut to that location, where we see the Camel in the lap of luxury, receiving the ministrations of two makeup artists while he sips on a lemonade and Alonzo Vasquez’s Rollout tune pumps. Even Joe Camel of cigarette fame never had it this good! – – Ahh, being Number One has its privileges!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Best of Geico commercial, Geico's camel in makeup
Comments: 7 Comments
June 1, 2019
It’s good to see The Slowskys again, especially with Bill Jr. growing up so fast! Parents Bill and Karolyn continue to live life in the slow lane, loving drip coffee, lay-overs, and being put on hold; heck, they even get snail mail, delivered by an authentic snail! With today’s posting comes the message that they’ve been invited to a Y2K party, to which Bill Jr. quips, “Wasn’t that like 20 years ago?”
“Oh look, Karolyn, we’ve got a mathematician on our hands,” grouses the father turtle in the Xfinity commercial.- – Ahh, the impetuousness of youth! Young Bill Jr. is a modern, with-it kinda reptile, however, sporting his headphones and backwards-turned ball cap and tapping away on his Xfinity powered cell phone. This is a turtle of today’s generation who’s on the move, and headed to the future…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: The Slowskys snail mail
Comments: 2 Comments
May 29, 2019
I, for one, have received entirely too much information about the condition of the youngest Charmin bear’s “heinie.” The bespectacled youngest brother bear whose name is Dylan, gleefully picks up his underwear from the floor in a commercial, dancing around with it unafraid because “(his) heinie’s clean.” While I’m sure we can all sleep better with this knowledge, it bears remembering that none of the ursines visibly wear any underwear in their commercials, or for that matter, clothing of any kind whatsoever. Yes, they are bear naked! That which is not worn remains pristine regardless of defecation, so Dylan’s boast is pointless…
So there, bear, with your underwear! Keep it there, and get out of my hair!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Charmin bears, clean bear heinies
Comments: 3 Comments
May 14, 2019
Things get stranger and stranger in the world of advertising, where weird means memorable which can equate to name recognition and subsequently business. Duncan the walrus is an unlikely representative of Geico insurance, but he certainly gets the job done, just as he completely fills the hockey goal, making it impossible for the opposing team to score in a recent Geico ad. Geico makes it easy to get help when you need it, you see, by having licensed agents available 24/7, and it’s not just Geico easy, it’s “having a walrus in the goal easy…”
Duncan is decked out in protective hockey gear, even though it’s ludicrously too small for him. We see in the commercial spot a hockey puck bounce off his shin guard, while a frustrated opposing team skater grouses that the walrus is “ridiculous.” The team coach off on the sidelines doesn’t think so, shouting “Way to go, Duncan!” as he throws the walrus a fish from a bucket that Duncan catches on the fly. The sidelined coach and team members then further show their appreciation of the goalie by making walrus sounds. Having had his fish and excitement, the walrus must then be admonished not to fall asleep on the ice. “Duncan, stay up! No sleepies!,” cries the coach in the closing.
One wonders if Duncan in his off hours doesn’t reflect upon the lyrics from the 1967 Beatles Magical Mystery Tour album, for he is the walrus…“goo goo j’goob.”
Categories: absurdities, advertising, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Duncan the walrus, Geico walrus goalie
Comments: 4 Comments
May 3, 2019
In this short advert, the Sierra Trading Post squirrel couple are up in a forest tree, mocking the “silly humans” camping below with their Sierra cooler. The male exuberantly brags that he buries his food “all over the place” for the excitement of never knowing whether he’s going to find it again, or starve to death. There’s something to be said, I suppose, for living life on the edge…
These squirrels exist somewhere in the nexus of where funny meets cool meets creepy. There’s something about their paws that I find disquieting, although the squirrels seem to be living life with gusto, whether it’s discussing being run over or starvation. There’s probably a lesson in here for us…
(…tip o’the pen to CaryComic!)
Categories: advertising, animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Sierra Squirrels "Exciting Life"
Comments: 3 Comments
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