Archive for the ‘anthropomorphic’ category

Kia’s “Robo Dog” Commercial…

February 25, 2022

Many of us have seen Kia’s “Robo Dog” commercial that premiered during the Super Bowl. The dog itself is incredibly cute and appealing, unless you stare for too long into it’s camera eyes, which look like they could draw you in. We’ve likely too seen robotic dogs actually developed, although most of these are more uncanny and borderline creepy than cute, lacking such embellishments as a distinct head. These dogs look like they’ve been engineered by Skynet to hunt out the human resistance…

The successor to the Kia Soul hamsters, Robo Dog represents the EV6 line, and we first see him sitting forlornly in an electronics store. Seeing an EV6, the robotic dog escapes the store and goes in pursuit of the vehicle and it’s driver, navigating remarkably well until it leaps off a building and runs out of battery charge…

Rather than shattering into pieces on the hard surface beneath, Robo Dog inexplicably survives the plunge, and is recharged back to life by the Kia owner, who adopts the ersatz canine we then see happily in the car…happy ending!

Bonnie Tyler’s memorable “Total Eclipse of the Heart” provides the sound track for the commercial, which reminds us to Live Fully Charged. I’m still glad to be a biological unit, thank you…🦊

“OwlKitty” Does Hollywood!

February 16, 2022

Walter, the Chevy Silverado ad cat, is impressive. OwlKitty, however, is awesome! The black female cat’s real name is Lizzy, and OwlKitty is an assumed stage name. Assume the stage she does, being skillfully edited by her owner, Tibo Charroppin, into parodies of iconic scenes from such movies as Titanic, Jurassic Park, Avengers Endgame, Star Wars, and more…

and OwlKitty can do it all, covering a range from the romantic role of Rose in Titanic to Sith Lord Darth Vader in Star Wars. Give her an action movie, and she can morph in size to substitute for raptors or a T-Rex in the Jurassic Park franchise, or perch atop Captain America’s shoulder in Endgame to seek out Thanos in singular combat, and send him flying, blue energies arcing from her small but mighty body. Still a proper cat, she grooms herself afterwards… 🐈‍⬛

Godzilla on the rampage again? – – No problem, you need a Kong-sized OwlKitty to set that bad boy straight!

So when you have a problem situation, the right man for the job just might be a cat. OwlKitty does lighter, comic-touches, too. The look on her face when Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) dances her around in the Titanic parody is priceless. We haven’t seen a cat this compelling and relatable since Ellen Ripley’s cat Jonesy in Alien…

“King Shark” Rules!

February 3, 2022

In the depths of winter and the continuing pandemic, we could all use a little King Shark right now! Anthropomorphic sharks are a rare breed indeed, and this one is a metahuman criminal denizen of DC’s extended universe, a villain who somehow manages to be cute and even likable despite a taste for human flesh…

The son of a “King of All Sharks,” King Shark (real name Nanaue) is a demigod who is voiced to perfection by Sylvester Stallone in the Suicide Squad 2 movie. Stallone’s mumbling, monotone delivery suits the man-shark character well. Although quite deadly and almost indestructible, King Shark (shown above reading a book in prison upside down) is child-like and dull-witted, speaking in short, simple phrases. Just point him in the right direction, and then get out of his way!

You would want to be King Shark’s friend, because if you were not, you’d be nom nom, namely something good to eat. King Shark doesn’t eat his friends, although almost anything else organic would be considered fair game. He may be seen chewing happily on a human head and other body parts of those opposing him in the movie…

So catch King Shark as memorably created in the Suicide Squad movie. And when he celebrates Shark Week, you’d better party along…. 🦊

IKEA’s Mighty Teddy Bears…

January 25, 2022

If you’re going to have a teddy bear past the age of 10 or so, you’ll want to have one that’s built like Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime…

…and so are these teddy bears in the IKEA commercial, “Every Home Should Be A Haven.” These are buff bears, and ever so useful! They stand outside a home like protective Mafia muscle, wearing sunglasses and functioning like gatekeepers or bouncers! Think you’ll enter uninvited? I don’t think so… 🙀

These teddies are in shape! They lift weights, easily uplift a sofa, and even screen calls inside, crushing a cell phone in one mighty paw when an undesired call comes through. Although powerful, the not-so-soft plushies are good with kids, putting up with makeup parties and tucking the young-uns into bed, all to the rap strains of Final Form by Sampa the Great…

The only thing I don’t like about this commercial is that in the full version, a bear growls, and scares away a fox foraging through garbage outside. We only want milk and cookies, for cripes sake!– – Bear brutality! Oh well, who am I to argue with such ursine muscle? These bruins could take out Yogi without breaking a sweat… 🦊

“Coyote vs. Acme” In Development!

January 8, 2022

I have some good news, and some bad news. First, the good news; Wile E. Coyote is finally getting his own movie! Now, the bad news; it probably won’t open until July of 2023.

I’ve always loved Wile E. Coyote, and it’s not just because foxes and coyotes are kinda cousins. Wile E. has always taught valuable life lessons about the value of persistence. No matter how many cliffs he falls off of, how many explosives ravage him, or how many anvils to the head he receives, Wile E. Coyote is never dissuaded from his goal of catching the Road Runner. It helps, of course, that the coyote is functionally indestructible even if he at times appears to be worse for the wear…

Now Coyote vs. Acme will reportedly be set in the Acme warehouse, that legendary source of all items used in the Looney Tunes universe. Since many of these items seems to be defective or malfunction, I don’t know if litigation against Acme will figure in the plot. The movie may also be using a combination of animation and live action techniques.

So get your Acme Rocket Roller Skates ready, because the endlessly resourceful Super Genius is coming as the champion of all of us losers! Meep-meep! 🦊

Geico’s “Angry Birds” Problem…

December 28, 2021

According to Geico, cultural icons are invading your home! You’ve got Muppet drummer Animal as an unwelcome guest in your attic, and Yogi and Boo Boo bears raiding your cookouts. In yet another example, Angry Birds from Rovio are doing the Hitchcock thing, smashing into the walls and windows of your home, and trashing feeders, lawn umbrellas, and flower pots on your patio!– – Aieee!

Now I know the three feathered fowl well, having an Angry Birds 2 addiction and leading a clan on the mobile game site. They are Red, Chuck, and Bomb, although Bomb certainly could have blasted through the window had he detonated. The homeowners are lucky that Terence didn’t show up, as the heavyweight probably could have gone through the wall as well. Matilda, Silver, and the Blues are likewise nowhere to be seen. Add in optional birds Bubbles, Hal, and Stella, and we could have reduced the whole house to splinters…pathetic humans!- –And why are there no Angry Foxes games?!

“The birds are back!,” one homeowner warns the other before the thumping and crashing continues. “Why are the birds so angry?,” wonders a neighbor peering over a fence. Perhaps there are green pigs in the neighborhood, stealing the avian’s eggs. In filming, the crew lobbed baseballs at the home to enable the actors to respond realistically to the impacts…

Fortunately, the homeowners have Geico insurance bundled to deal with the feathered predation. The assault of cultural icons must impact adversely on property values, one suspects… 🦊

Truist Financial Commercial, “Care…”

December 22, 2021

Plushies (stuffed animals) individually are cute, cuddly, and innately comforting. An enormous ball of stuffed animals of diverse species rolling at you like an oversized tumbleweed might be a bit…disconcerting! There’s something unnatural going on here...

But you needn’t worry. This isn’t The Blob of vintage science fiction fame, but rather a helpful heap of plushies. Rolling about in a strange collective, they do things like return errant objects, hold elevator doors open, stop shopping carts from banging into cars in a parking lot, and roll replacement tires along to stranded motorists. They even extend a flower to a seated woman and her child! In the motorist scenario, the paw of one of the stuffed animals may even be seen extending to give the new tire a final push. I wouldn’t know whether to be grateful or alarmed, perhaps both…I tend to be a bit suspicious of reality violations…

Truist Financial says that because it values care, it considers itself a different kind of bank. A rolling ball of helpful plushies would certainly be different, I suppose, and make for an interesting police report. I hope that the ball of stuffed animals doesn’t get rained on…

The Charmin Bears in “Airport Security”

December 15, 2021

Someday, I am just going to lose it over the Charmin bears. The bears themselves aren’t really that bad, they’re actually kind of cute. It’s what they do that rankles my fur! These bears are always pooping, and then examining their behinds for evidence of toilet paper residue. I mean, this kinda thing is seriously cringe-worthy! Personal space, please!

Now we all know that bears defecate in the woods, and apparently elsewhere as well. Everybody poops, with the exception of some Disney animals like Bambi that are drawn without discernible anuses. I’ve often wondered if such animals simply explode when their colon backs up too far. Be that as it may, the Charmin bears would appear to have a weird and pervasive anal fixation that borders on the disgusting.

In their Airport Security ad, Papa Bear passes through security without a hitch because, of course, his hiney’s clean! I just love the “kill me now” expression on the agent’s face. And does the fact that the agent is wearing clothes and Papa none mean that this is some kind of strip search? If so, Papa seems to be enjoying it…

It should come as no surprise that Papa’s luggage is actually stuffed with toilet paper. The Charmin Bears are nothing if not consistent. It’s just that bare bear bottoms, clean or (shudder) otherwise, get old really fast. I much prefer fox tails… 🦊

NJM’s “Ferret Interview” Commercial…

November 24, 2021

I have long been of the opinion that ferrets are wonderful animals whose potential has barely been touched in commercials, the furry fandom, and society in general. They are cool, cute, endearing, smart, and move well. Perhaps through commercials such as this one, the Day of the Ferret will finally have arrived!

Just check out this little guy…small in size, but big in talent! He’s lithe, good-looking, well-spoken, and he even moonwalks! Appearing for a job interview, the ferret is offered a job in the mail room by the job interviewer, who clearly lacks vision. The ferret sees himself as having mascot potential, and frankly would be a great one!

Now NJM Insurance promotes itself as having no mascots and no jingles, and I respect them for that. Some of the mascot commercials are admittedly stupid or over-the-top. But I would snatch this little guy up, and sign him to a long-term contract, fast! I can even see a TV series working nicely for this one…

Now in my twisted perspective, I’d like to see the tables reversed, and the ferret interviewing the woman. She could then then be told that she didn’t meet company needs at this time, or perhaps more darkly be assigned to writing company “mission statements” and other jobs from hell…

Now to see another ferret used effectively, check out the character of Fungo Squiggly in the comic strip Get Fuzzy. Fungo is rough and borderline thuggish, he smokes, is said to chew metal as a hobby, produces Ferret Television, and is the nemesis of Bucky the Cat. Will there be a ferret in your future?

And by the way, a Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!

The Bigfoot-Alien Connection…

November 12, 2021

When the yet-unproven is layered together with the implausible, you wind up with something like The Bigfoot Alien Connection Revealed, a 2020 film which basically postulates that Bigfoot is himself an alien, an intelligent life form not of this earth but possibly trans-dimensional, whose elusiveness centers on his ability to slip between those dimensions. As a physically robust species, Bigfoot is described as having some form of collaboration with the more traditional alien grays, in effect doing the heavy lifting for them as their agents. Incidents where Bigfoot sightings have occurred together with “lights in the sky” are suggested as supporting evidence for this.

Running at over 90 minutes, The Bigfoot Alien Connection dispenses theories that are pretty far out there as compared to the more mundane ideas about the big hairy guy perhaps being an unidentified species of giant ape; rather, claims are advanced that paranormal features are associated with Bigfoot. Some have reported seeing Bigfoot disappear in front of them; the question then arose as to whether Bigfoot was somehow “cloaking,” or leaving our dimension at that point. Locations described as “hot spots,” “power spots,” or “vortex spirals” are reported as having been associated with Bigfoot appearances, together with other paranormal phenomena such as orbs. Some presenters in the feature linked the appearance of orbs directly to Bigfoot, even suggesting that he is capable of shape-shifting.

Oh well! As one commentator in the feature observed, the phenomena associated with Bigfoot manifestations defies explanation, at least at times. It’s unfortunate that many portrayals of Bigfoot are cartoonish, and many pursuers of them amateurish, as there are some serious investigators out there worthy of attention and support…


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