Archive for the ‘anthropomorphic’ category

“The Masked Singer” Concludes…

February 28, 2019

After nine episodes, The Masked Singer concluded its first season on February 27th, that episode clocking in at an inflated two hours. The first hour was a recap of the contestants previously unmasked and eliminated, leading down to the three finalists of Monster, Bee, and Peacock. My enthusiasm for the series dwindled when Rabbit (Joey Fatone) was eliminated in the semi-finals, which I think was caused by his later selection of materials, none of which generated the excitement of his first performance of “Livin’ La Vida Loca.” No one really wanted to hear Rabbit sing “My Girl” or perform a country number, although he reportedly remained in character even when on breaks during rehearsals, and I felt that he and Peacock best incorporated dance and stage presence into their performances.  Perhaps these guys could continue to perform as their costumed characters; I’d go to a psychotic Rabbit concert!

I was rather surprised that Bee (Gladys Knight) came in third, with the Peacock (Donny Osmond) coming in second…this guy is an underrated performer!  Monster (T-Pain) won the top honors with his soulful croonings, and seemed to be a sentimental favorite despite being nearly eliminated in an early round.  

The series was weird stuff, but we are living in strange times for which the antidote may be this kind of freaky escapism…and by the way, The Masked Singer has been renewed for a second season, to begin at an unspecified date…

The “Banana Splits” Murders…

February 21, 2019

 

I, for one, am not surprised that the Banana Splits gang are finally going homicidal; they always were rather surreal, shady, and oddly disturbing, and one knew that there had to be something more darkly seething under the surface than what they wanted you to see.  

For those of you who just fell off the turnip truck, the Banana Splits were an oddball creation of Sid and Marty Krofft, and were people costumed in cheap fursuits with unchanging and unmovable faces that presented themselves as being a gorilla, elephant, dog, and lion on kiddie television episodes that aired from 1968 to 1970, continuing afterwards in syndication for a decade. They were supposedly a rock band, and a typical segment might involve them running madly about before running into one another and falling down. Their theme song was extremely annoying, but an ear worm that could play inside your head, driving you to madnessIt was the ’60’s, after all, and we didn’t know any better.

Anyways, the Syfy channel is bringing back the Banana Splits for a movie in which a boy and his parents go to a taping of the old show when things take a turn for the worse, and the body count starts rising. I’ve always suspected that this moment would be coming…

“Cats,” the Movie, Coming in 2019…

February 18, 2019



Dancing feline animorphs are coming to the big screen in 2019… you have now been duly warned!  The movie version of the musical will boast some diverse and major stars as cats, including Taylor Swift, Jennifer Hudson, and Ian McKellen…that’s right, Magneto is gonna play a cat, although appropriately enough a theatrical one.  What would be really cool would be if he’d play a cat with mutant powers.  Perhaps Catwoman from the DC universe could also make an appearance, and we’d really have a blockbuster!

But I digress…the British-American cooperative venture, several years in the planning, is set to come to theaters in later December 2019… 

Autonomous, Ambulatory Robots…

February 5, 2019


Submitted for your approval is Marty, an autonomous, ambulatory robot deployed at my local supermarket to look for spills and trash. He approached me noisily from behind, beeping and flashing lights, and at first I didn’t know what was going on! Was someone pushing this thing, inside it, or remotely controlling it? — Nope, nope, and nope…but you don’t have to fear Marty.  They pasted on those ridiculous, googly eyes so as not to project a Darth Vader vibe, although that might be interesting…

Vader ‘Bot:  “I find your lack of fresh produce purchases disturbing…”

Customer:  “Alright,  just stop force-choking me,  jeez!  I’m throwing in cabbages, see?”

Vader ‘Bot:  “The General Manager will be pleased, but pray you do not require a further demonstration…”

While it will be some time before Rosie the robot from The Jetsons will be among us, the ‘bots are coming!    Marty is far from being C-3PO, but give it another ten years or so, and they could be seeking a piece of your action… 

 

Real Cost of Smoking, “Little Lungs” Snowboard

February 3, 2019

I, for one, am starting to get a bit freaked out over the number of anthropomorphic organs detaching themselves from the human body and making a go of it by themselves in advertisements and public service announcements. There was a time when reporting such sightings would have landed you a diagnosis as an active psychotic, but now we have bladders, stomachs, and even colons parading around without a suspicion of recreational drug use.  Perhaps it’s appropriate and to be expected for the times in which we live, but I’ll never be fully comfortable with it, and it may haunt my dreams…

One of a series, “Little Lungs in a Great Big World: Snowboard,” brings us the little lungs in question being asked by other bigger, presumably healthier lungs if they’d like to go snowboarding with the group.  The little lungs respond in the affirmative, but because they had smoked as a teenager are smaller in size,and subsequently unable to draw in enough air and keep up.  They wind up wiping out and getting skewered by the antlers of a moose, one eye hanging disconcertingly out of its socket.  

It certainly doesn’t make me want to light one up!  When I was young, we didn’t have all of these renegade organs marauding about, and were simply told that smoking would stunt your growth.  To lull us into acquiring a smoking habit, we went to visit Marlboro Country where manly men did manly things like ropin’ and ridin’ with nary a hacking cough to be heard, or a tumor to be seen. – – And who was cooler than Joe Camel? – – But ahh, times have changed.  Perhaps in the future, Larry Liver will warn us about the dangers of alcoholic consumption…

“Masked Singer” Mix and Masks, S1 Ep5…

February 1, 2019


Episode 5 of The Masked Singer opened with a group performance by (from left) Alien, Rabbit, Lion, and Unicorn.  The group rendition of “I’m On Top Of The World” by Imagine Dragons went well, and was followed by individual performances by each of the contestants.  The use of “background dancers” by each performer is notable, with Alien’s dancers in UFO-inspired costumes, Rabbit dancing with a bevy of bunnies, and Unicorn performing with a red-clad pair eerily reminiscent of Thing One and Thing Two from Dr. Seuss.  

Rabbit’s dancing was again a crowd-pleaser, and he demonstrated an impressive set of pipes on the R&B inspired selection of Poison. Rabbit’s strategy has been to show his range with a different genre of music each performance, but I could have done without the country selection performed in his last outing.  In this episode he was again where he worked well, and against someone like Rabbit, the other contestants appeared flat-footed. With fewest votes, Unicorn was voted off, and revealed to be…Tori Spelling, an identity correctly guessed by judge Dr. Ken Jeong.

Finalists in this competition may well be Rabbit, Peacock, Lion, and Bee, all of whom can definitely sing!  Rabbit and Peacock seem to have the greatest sense of how to work the stage and rouse an audience as well with dancing and movement…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cox Communications Future Technology Panda…

January 25, 2019

In this Cox Communications advert, two anthropomorphic pandas are playing a spirited game of ping-pong, complete with appropriate panda grunts and cries…but things are not as they appear, for a mother summons one of the “pandas” to dinner, and playtime is over. He touches a button on a device, shedding his panda avatar and revealing that he’s really a human boy. His friend is likewise human, and furthermore located at a distance away. They give each other a wave and a “later dude” through a projected screen, and return to their mundane real lives…

This is an envisioning of technology of the future, and I find it completely believable. I’d better start saving now for the mobile emitter and massive data plan that I’ll need to shed my human self at will…