Archive for September 2011

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Geico’s Rowing Guinea Pigs…

September 29, 2011

 – – Kia’s hamsters rock, and Geico’s guinea pigs row…at least they do in the newest Geico commercial!  Faced with skyrocketing electric bills (…yes, I  feel your pain!), we are introduced to one ingenious gentleman who has created a hydroelectric generation facility where a trio of hamsters row a tiny boat in an aquarium, producing enough juice for him to surf the net all day!  Not that it was any easy task, mind you…it took six months to train two hamsters to row, and fully eight months to get the “little chubby one” to yell “row!” 

I don’t know yet if PETA will consider this cruelty or exploitation of animals…probably not, since the guinea pigs are all computer-generated.  You can even download a free iPhone app called “Guinea Pig Getaway” in which the three intrepid guinea pigs escape their owner, and are looking for a better way of life.- -But in any case, we may be living in the golden age of rodent advertising mascots, and maybe guinea pigs will someday power your Prius!  Then there may be a rodent uprising, a great and terrible day of reckoning…(I shudder to think about it!)

Categories: furry, furry commercials, television
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Some “Thing’s” Coming!

September 27, 2011

 – – Wow, it doesn’t seem possible that it was way back in 1982 that John Carpenter made his version of the sci-fi/horror classic The Thing, complete with Kurt Russell as that film’s protagonist, R.J. MacReady!- –Well, some Thing else is coming this October, this version a prequel taking place three days before the events of the John Carpenter film and following the exploits of the Norwegian and American scientists unfortunate enough to originally discover the shape-shifting alien.

While it’s hard to beat Kurt Russell, the new version of The Thing includes Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Dr. Kate Lloyd, a lead character somewhat modeled after Sigourney Weaver’s Ellen Ripley in the Alien film series; fortunately, no romantic or sexual elements will be introduced associated with her character in keeping with the dark tone and paranoid atmospherics of the previous film.   Efforts have been made to keep the new film visually consistent with the 1982 Carpenter flick, and creature effects will include both animatronic and computer generated imagery.  We’ll be seeing much more of the interior of the crashed alien spacecraft, and it will also be implied what the nasty alien mimics were doing about in the galaxy.- -All in all, The Thing should serve to remind us that if we find something buried deep in the ice in Antarctica, leave it the hell alone!

I plan on seeing The Thing in October, and you may want to, as well…who knows, The Thing may become you!

Categories: aliens, movies, science, space
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Franklin, the Fair-Housing Fox…

September 25, 2011

 – – I, for one, can sleep better at night knowing that Franklin, the Fair-Housing Fox is on the job!  Just as McGruff the Crime Dog represents the fight against crime and Homeland Security has Rex, the Ready Kids Mountain Lion, Franklin is meant to help make fair housing everyone’s responsibility, and he looks great while doing it!  It’s good to know that we vulpines haven’t been excluded from the guild of anthropomorphic animal awareness cartoons representing federal agencies.  Created in 2007 to celebrate the 39th anniversary of the Fair Housing Act, Franklin even has an e-mail address and of course, a Facebook page!

Your tax dollars are never harder at work than when they’re funding the creation of an animal mascot, and Franklin Fox has got to be far ahead of some other actual creations such as Energy Ant or Thermy the Thermometer…other creations might include Edward, the Illegal Immigration Eagle, and Arnold, the Anti-Terrorist Armadillo!       

Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry heroes
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Death from the Skies?

September 23, 2011

 – – Perhaps Chicken Little was on to something after all…a dead climate satellite about the size of a school bus is expected to plummet back to Earth around Friday, September 23rd or Saturday, September 24th.  While most of it will disintegrate in the atmosphere, over two dozen pieces weighing a total of about 1,200 lbs. are still expected to survive re-entry, the largest weighing about 300 pounds.  If such were to hit you on the head, it would probably ruin your whole day!

While this is the most massive NASA satellite to make an uncontrolled re-entry into Earth’s atmosphere in more than three decades, not to worry…the odds of the big nasty hitting anyone anywhere in the world are about 1-in-3,200.  The odds of you getting hit personally are on the magnitude of 1-in-21-trillion, meaning that you are much more likely to be struck by lightning or eaten by a shark than to be hit by a piece of the UARS satellite! 

Anyways, a killer satellite might really enliven an otherwise dull weekend…so “Look to the skies!”

Categories: science, space, strange happenings
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Of Amphibian Tongues and Arby’s…

September 21, 2011

 – – A recent Arby’s “Chicken Cravin'” commercial features a guy sitting with two friends who whips forth a frog-like tongue several feet in length to lap sauce from one friend’s face; I’m unable to find an image of the act presently, so have done the best simulation that I can.  Following the act, the two friends of the tongue-endowed wonder understandably draw their chairs away from him. 

General reaction to the commercial has been negative, with some denouncing the ad as “nasty” and “gross,” and others declaring their intention not to patronize Arby’s until the offending commercial has been removed!   Licking food from anyone’s face would generally not endear you to the person licked, and be considered a major social faux pas in polite and less-than-polite company; when such an act is committed with a tongue of amphibian dimensions, it becomes unappetizing if not seriously creepy…

Categories: absurdities, television, weird
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“Deadliest Warrior’s” Zombies vs. Vampires…

September 18, 2011

 – – We’ve posted here before about the Spike TV Deadliest Warrior series in which combatants are matched from vastly different cultures and time periods who would not and could not have possibly met much less fought in reality; if you sit through about fifty minutes of debate about the weaponry, fighting styles, and characteristics of the warriors and watch ballistics gel torsos get shot and sliced in tests of weaponry and techniques, you are eventually rewarded with brief but realistic combat footage of the two featured warriors engaged in mortal combat.  Sample matches shown in past episodes have included a pirate versus a knight, and a ninja against a Spartan…the winners in those matches were the pirate and the Spartan, respectively. 

It’s kind of a permutation of the fantasy combat match-ups that guys have entertained themselves with and delighted in since the dawn of time, and it’s great guy entertainment!  Well, the Deadliest Warrior guys kicked it up a notch for this year’s series finale, and featured a closing match of vampires versus zombies!   This added a mythical or otherworldly dimension to the usual reality violations routinely accepted on the show, but hey, why not?! Being familiar with the attributes of both groups yet not identifying strongly with either, I was strangely prepared to be relatively objective and impartial, being at core by my very nature a were-animal guy; that’s where my loyalties lie.


Since a vampire is easily the superior of a single zombie (whose strength lies in numbers), they set a ratio of one vampire for every 63 zombies in the match, and even against such odds the vampires were able to prevail although two of the three starting vamps were ultimately swarmed by zombies and overcome, and it was also strongly hinted that the sole survivor was infected.  While outrageous stuff it was great fun as well, and if similar extreme fantasy “warrior” matches are held in the upcoming season, werewolves would certainly like a crack at this season’s winners…

Categories: cool things, strange, television
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Old Spice “Swagger” Sea Captain and Squid…

September 16, 2011

 – – He’s self-described as not being a “well decorated sea captain who battles monsters on a large nautical vessel,”  but thanks to Old Spice’s Swagger, he smells like one!  The character we see depicted kind of plays out like Jules Verne’s Captain Nemo as seen on a bad acid trip…he walks into a room with a patently fake killer squid attached to his left shoulder at which the captain throws half-hearted punches throughout the commercial while endless gold treasure pours from his pants, quickly filling the room!

Apparently, Old Spice is trying a variety of spokesman, and this bizarre sea captain is part of a new ad campaign to “smell better than yourself.”  Smelling better than yourself may be fairly easy if you routinely smell like squid, and the squid in this one is wonderful, looking like a low budget creature feature creation from 1950’s or 60’s Chiller Theater type offerings.  I like the little guy, who features moving eyes, teeth, and flailing tentacles…the punches thrown at him don’t seem to faze the persistent squid much, and I keep waiting and hoping for him to remove a chunk from the captain.  Failing in this, perhaps we could arrange a steel cage death match for him with SpongeBob…

Categories: absurdities, furry commercials, humor, Invertebrates, strange, television
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Batmanning…

September 14, 2011

 – – People with entirely too much time on their hands have always found something to do, often by inventing fads or trends, for example cow-tipping or planking.  One of the latest ones is simply called Batmanning, and it basically involves hanging upside down by one’s feet from a door, bar, gate, ledge, or whatever.  It may be done by individuals alone, or in a group of any size as illustrated here. 

To hang like a bat requires a fair degree of athletic and acrobatic skill to say nothing of lower-body strength.  We do not recommend that you try this, or you may experience Emergency Rooming…

Categories: absurdities, strange, things humans do, trends
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Blofeld’s Kitty…

September 12, 2011

 – – James Bond’s archenemy Ernst Stavro Blofeld was originally never shown facially, but only in closeup stroking his white Persian cat.  Blofeld never calls the cat by name or even  acknowledges that he is holding one, although the supervillain holding a cat has become a stock cliche parodied in the Austin Powers series by the character of Dr. Evil with his cat, Mr. Bigglesworth. 

While Blofeld was dumped down an industrial chimney by Bond in For Your Eyes Only, the cat jumps to safety, and is probably out there working for several organizations bent on world domination until his nefarious schemes come to fruition…

Categories: famous furries, furry, furry sidekicks, movies
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Gumby Goes Hardcore…

September 9, 2011

 – – I, for one, hate it when Claymation figures go bad…and so it was when a person dressed as Gumby walked into a 7-Eleven store in Southern California over Labor Day dressed as Gumby, claimed to have a gun, and demanded money!  I swear I am not making this up…I couldn’t write stuff this good!

Since Gumby tends to be slightly less than intimidating (while the Eddie Murphy version is clearly not to be trifled with), the store clerk treated the surreal customer as a lame joke, and essentially ignored him, telling Gumby that she didn’t have time to waste (No one really has time for Gumby these days, which might be at the root of the problem)! Disrespect from a convenience store clerk seemed to drive Gumby to extremes, causing him to counter, “You don’t think this is a robbery?  I have a gun!”  At that point the clay avenger fumbled inside his costume as if looking for a weapon, but alas his green gloves seemed to get in the way.  Instead of pulling out a gun, Gumby only dropped 27 cents on the floor, which won’t buy you much of anything these days.  Gumby’s apparent sidekick who had entered with the green dude then left the store, reappearing with a minivan which retrieved Gumby and departed…

…the clerk was unfamiliar with the Claymation icon, describing him to her boss as a “green SpongeBob SquarePants.”  Clearly, a major re-education program is necessary so that our young people can distinguish Gumby from SpongeBob.- -Pokey the horse would have been so mortified on all counts!  The police line-up for this one should be very interesting, and a $1,000 reward is being offered for the apprehension of the suspect!


And what lies ahead for our benighted society?- -Drive-by shootings by the Banana Splits characters?- -The Trix Rabbit going postal?  Some things are better left unconsidered…


Categories: absurdities, cartoons, strange happenings
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