Kia’s “Robo Dog” Commercial…

Posted February 25, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: advertising, anthropomorphic, biomechanical, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television

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Many of us have seen Kia’s “Robo Dog” commercial that premiered during the Super Bowl. The dog itself is incredibly cute and appealing, unless you stare for too long into it’s camera eyes, which look like they could draw you in. We’ve likely too seen robotic dogs actually developed, although most of these are more uncanny and borderline creepy than cute, lacking such embellishments as a distinct head. These dogs look like they’ve been engineered by Skynet to hunt out the human resistance…

The successor to the Kia Soul hamsters, Robo Dog represents the EV6 line, and we first see him sitting forlornly in an electronics store. Seeing an EV6, the robotic dog escapes the store and goes in pursuit of the vehicle and it’s driver, navigating remarkably well until it leaps off a building and runs out of battery charge…

Rather than shattering into pieces on the hard surface beneath, Robo Dog inexplicably survives the plunge, and is recharged back to life by the Kia owner, who adopts the ersatz canine we then see happily in the car…happy ending!

Bonnie Tyler’s memorable “Total Eclipse of the Heart” provides the sound track for the commercial, which reminds us to Live Fully Charged. I’m still glad to be a biological unit, thank you…🦊

Doritos “Flamin’ Hot” Push It Commercial…

Posted February 18, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: furry

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I wish that I could be a beatboxing fox like Charlie Puth’s version in this Doritos commercial, but that’s not my part of the forest. I live in the literary section, a place of writers and dreamers…

Still, I respect their work. It means that my people have arrived, and that we are among you, gradually making inroads despite being a subculture. Our influx will be subtle but catchy, and you’ll hardly notice that we’re gonna Push It, as in this 2022 Doritos commercial that debuted during the Super Bowl.

A number of years ago, hardly anyone bothered with sloths, regarding them as boring, slow-moving shirkers who were about as interesting as watching grass grow. Today, they are regarded as hip, cute, and cool, almost in the vanguard of pop culture…and so it is that in this commercial, the sloth is kind of a headliner.

When a nature-watching young woman up in a tree drops bags of Doritos and Cheetos, they fall to the forest floor, and are cautiously crept up on by a sloth, who tastes one and finds it good, followed by a deer, a bear, water buffalo, and other animals, each providing a vocalization of their pleasurable surprise. When a crocodile comes along and opens his mouth to reveal a vocally talented red and black bird (Megan Thee Stallion), we have a full complement to perform the Salt N Pepa “Baby Baby” refrain from “Push It…”

When the nature watcher descends from the tree to retrieve the scattered snacks, the sloth distinctly exclaims “Nope!,” and absconds with the Doritos, moving with surprising speed. A barely visible note at the bottom of the screen reads, “Do not feed to animals.” I prefer the ranch or nacho flavors, myself… 🦊

“OwlKitty” Does Hollywood!

Posted February 16, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, famous furries, furry, furry classics, furry heroes

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Walter, the Chevy Silverado ad cat, is impressive. OwlKitty, however, is awesome! The black female cat’s real name is Lizzy, and OwlKitty is an assumed stage name. Assume the stage she does, being skillfully edited by her owner, Tibo Charroppin, into parodies of iconic scenes from such movies as Titanic, Jurassic Park, Avengers Endgame, Star Wars, and more…

and OwlKitty can do it all, covering a range from the romantic role of Rose in Titanic to Sith Lord Darth Vader in Star Wars. Give her an action movie, and she can morph in size to substitute for raptors or a T-Rex in the Jurassic Park franchise, or perch atop Captain America’s shoulder in Endgame to seek out Thanos in singular combat, and send him flying, blue energies arcing from her small but mighty body. Still a proper cat, she grooms herself afterwards… 🐈‍⬛

Godzilla on the rampage again? – – No problem, you need a Kong-sized OwlKitty to set that bad boy straight!

So when you have a problem situation, the right man for the job just might be a cat. OwlKitty does lighter, comic-touches, too. The look on her face when Jack (Leonardo DiCaprio) dances her around in the Titanic parody is priceless. We haven’t seen a cat this compelling and relatable since Ellen Ripley’s cat Jonesy in Alien…

Walter, the Chevy Silverado Cat…

Posted February 13, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: advertising, animals, commercials, furry, furry commercials, furry sidekicks, television

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We’re quite used to seeing dogs in commercials, but cats not so much unless theyre hawking cat food or kitty litter. Walter the Cat changes all of that, appearing in a commercial for Chevy Silverado where he does everything a dog typically does, and more…

In the commercial, Walter is shown corralling cattle, chasing a mailman, riding a snowmobile, retrieving a stick thrown into water, leading a dog sled team, and even extricating a downed skier like a St. Bernard!

It’s all in a day’s work for the frisky feline, who rides shotgun in his master’s truck and shares a tent as well as any canine best friend. It is the Year of the Tiger, after all…Rawrr! 🦊

“King Shark” Rules!

Posted February 3, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, aquatic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, imaginary animals, movies, twisted reality

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In the depths of winter and the continuing pandemic, we could all use a little King Shark right now! Anthropomorphic sharks are a rare breed indeed, and this one is a metahuman criminal denizen of DC’s extended universe, a villain who somehow manages to be cute and even likable despite a taste for human flesh…

The son of a “King of All Sharks,” King Shark (real name Nanaue) is a demigod who is voiced to perfection by Sylvester Stallone in the Suicide Squad 2 movie. Stallone’s mumbling, monotone delivery suits the man-shark character well. Although quite deadly and almost indestructible, King Shark (shown above reading a book in prison upside down) is child-like and dull-witted, speaking in short, simple phrases. Just point him in the right direction, and then get out of his way!

You would want to be King Shark’s friend, because if you were not, you’d be nom nom, namely something good to eat. King Shark doesn’t eat his friends, although almost anything else organic would be considered fair game. He may be seen chewing happily on a human head and other body parts of those opposing him in the movie…

So catch King Shark as memorably created in the Suicide Squad movie. And when he celebrates Shark Week, you’d better party along…. 🦊

A Darker Pinocchio…

Posted January 29, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: classics, furry, insects, movies, twisted reality

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We’re all familiar with Disney’s 1940 adaptation of Pinocchio, and Pinocchio’s conscience Jiminy Cricket, complete with formal clothing and umbrella. In a new retelling of the Pinocchio tale by Guillermo del Toro, the cricket is just as verbal but far more insectile, telling his audience that he “lived in the heart of the wooden boy.” Vaguely chilling, right? He’s even got a revised name…Sebastian J. Cricket! Plus this bug looks almost alien.- – I Iike him already!

Set in Italy in the 1930’s with Mussolini’s fascist power rising, this Pinocchio is depicted as a lost soul in a world he cannot understand. Disney sanitized the original Carlo Collodi tale, which included the cricket being killed early on and his ghost serving as Pinocchio’s conscience! Guillermo del Toro promises to return some of the original Frankenstein or nightmarish elements to the story, which included boys being turned into donkeys on Pleasure Island.

So for a darker, scarier version of Pinocchio that’s “about as far removed from Disney as you can get,” you may want to check out this Pinocchio coming to Netflix in December 2022…and tell them that Sebastian J. Cricket sent you,buwahahaha!

IKEA’s Mighty Teddy Bears…

Posted January 25, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, television

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If you’re going to have a teddy bear past the age of 10 or so, you’ll want to have one that’s built like Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime…

…and so are these teddy bears in the IKEA commercial, “Every Home Should Be A Haven.” These are buff bears, and ever so useful! They stand outside a home like protective Mafia muscle, wearing sunglasses and functioning like gatekeepers or bouncers! Think you’ll enter uninvited? I don’t think so… 🙀

These teddies are in shape! They lift weights, easily uplift a sofa, and even screen calls inside, crushing a cell phone in one mighty paw when an undesired call comes through. Although powerful, the not-so-soft plushies are good with kids, putting up with makeup parties and tucking the young-uns into bed, all to the rap strains of Final Form by Sampa the Great…

The only thing I don’t like about this commercial is that in the full version, a bear growls, and scares away a fox foraging through garbage outside. We only want milk and cookies, for cripes sake!– – Bear brutality! Oh well, who am I to argue with such ursine muscle? These bruins could take out Yogi without breaking a sweat… 🦊

“Resident Alien” Rocks!

Posted January 10, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: aliens, alternative realities, Brilliant but twisted, sci fi, television

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We’ve all seen plot elements of this show before, in such shows as Mork and Mindy, My Favorite Martian, ALF, and Coneheads, among others. The core story varies but little; an Alien comes to Earth, either crash-landing or voluntarily visiting. For one reason or another, he exists as a fish out of water among us, learning about humanity, behaving awkwardly at times, struggling to understand us, and gradually coming to like us.

Based on a Dark Horse comic and set in the town of Patience, Colorado our alien masks his natural reptilian-type appearance with some kind of molecular projection. He has assumed the appearance, identity, and possessions of the first human he encountered, an unfortunate doctor whose body now reposes in the freezer. A scientist on his own world, our alien’s original mission was to sow a destructive device intended to exterminate humanity. An atmospheric storm caused his vessel to crash-land on our planet, however, so the parameters of his mission have been altered…

Resident Alien is at core a dark comedy, with actor Alan Tudyk doing an extraordinary job of portraying the alien Dr. Harry as kind of a clueless 10-year-old boy who frequently misreads social cues, having learned our language and culture from television. His facial expressions are all slightly off, he does a simulated laugh that is quite remarkable, and he is rather pleased with himself when he successfully makes a joke. At a social gathering, his requested beverage is “milk drawn from a cow’s teat.” Dr. Harry’s medical knowledge of humanity is all taken from Google…

and being an extraterrestrial visitor impersonating a human can be complicated. The small town law enforcement team is closing in on the murder he committed, his home planet is unhappy with him, and not-quite Men in Black agents are also posing a threat to him…

Happily, Resident Alien has been renewed for a second season, and we will see how some of these plot complications play out. If you’ve arrived late to the party as I did, you can stream Season 1, and Harry will be riding tall in the saddle until late January when Season 2 arrives. It’s two paws up for Resident Alien… 🦊

“Coyote vs. Acme” In Development!

Posted January 8, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, cartoons, famous furries, furry, furry movies

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I have some good news, and some bad news. First, the good news; Wile E. Coyote is finally getting his own movie! Now, the bad news; it probably won’t open until July of 2023.

I’ve always loved Wile E. Coyote, and it’s not just because foxes and coyotes are kinda cousins. Wile E. has always taught valuable life lessons about the value of persistence. No matter how many cliffs he falls off of, how many explosives ravage him, or how many anvils to the head he receives, Wile E. Coyote is never dissuaded from his goal of catching the Road Runner. It helps, of course, that the coyote is functionally indestructible even if he at times appears to be worse for the wear…

Now Coyote vs. Acme will reportedly be set in the Acme warehouse, that legendary source of all items used in the Looney Tunes universe. Since many of these items seems to be defective or malfunction, I don’t know if litigation against Acme will figure in the plot. The movie may also be using a combination of animation and live action techniques.

So get your Acme Rocket Roller Skates ready, because the endlessly resourceful Super Genius is coming as the champion of all of us losers! Meep-meep! 🦊

Liberty Mutual’s “Bird Call” Commercial…

Posted January 5, 2022 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, advertising, avian, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, television

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When Liberty Mutual’s “Doug” in a recent commercial starts to ply a fellow park-goer about insurance, his avian partner the emu has wandered off. This prompts Doug to resort to a key ring of bird calls, although he can’t determine which one is an emu call. Doesn’t everyone carry a key ring of bird calls?! Blowing many, Doug summons a variety of diverse birds, including raptors, a flamingo, and even penguins!

Forget that the birds represented can’t all be indigenous to the same area…we’re in commercial land, after all. Anyways, after trying multiple whistles and summoning diverse birds, he evidently hits upon the right one, because the LiMu Emu appears, frisbee in beak!

Doug’s bird calls all seem to work. Perhaps both he and Wile E. Coyote order from the Acme company. Gotta get me one of their catalogues sometime, because they have everything! 🦊


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