– – Just when you thought that it was safe to get back into the water again, tens of thousands of blacktip and spinner sharks are migrating north up the eastern coast of the U.S., shutting down beaches in Florida!
Now shark sightings are not uncommon for South Florida beaches, and their migration is an annual occurrence. What’s uncommon, however, is that the migration usually starts and ends sooner, well ahead of spring break season. Blacktip sharks only account for 20% of unprovoked shark attacks in Florida, but with 15,000 sharks counted by researchers and some less than 200 yards from shore, lifeguards aren’t taking chances…
– – Somewhere in life, we’ve all seen some variation of the old horse costume gag…you know, a costume where one guy poses as the front end of a horse, and his hapless partner literally brings up the rear! Well, a recent Little Caesar’s commercial takes us to a costume party where we see two dudes in that classic horse costume get-up with their component pieces separated, and a girl in a princess costume brings it to their attention that Little Caesar’s is offering pepperoni pizza for a mere five bucks!
– – ‘Toon bears are less common and often forgettable, so I’m glad to find something different. Both Brickleberry and Yogi Bear are set in fictitious national parks, and include the relationships between bears and park rangers, but the resemblance ends there! The Comedy Channel show Brickleberry is anything but clean and wholesome, and the center of focus for me is an anthropomorphic grizzly bear cub named Malloy who is crude, politically incorrect, narcissistic, has a superiority complex, and delights in putting down and messing with the park rangers, none of whom are normal individuals! His parents unintentionally slain, Malloy has been raised by humans, and excessive indulgence in video games and junk food have turned him into something dark and sardonic that nature never intended; this is Baby Stewie from Family Guy in a fursuit! Yogi Bear and Boo-Boo wouldn’t last five minutes with him, and Brickleberry is anything but Jellystone Park!
– – We’ve all heard of pulled pork, but Geico takes Maxwell the pig to a different level of meaning with this when a police officer pulls his blue convertible over in a recent commercial. Maxwell hands the officer his license and registration as well as his Geico digital insurance card. Now it turns out that the cop doesn’t have a problem with the fact that a pig is driving, but rather the fact that Maxwell’s tail light is out. “Fix it!,” orders the cop before walking away.
– – When an asteroid passes within a cosmic whisker of Earth and a meteorite smashes down in the former Soviet Union, one might not be totally surprised that small, plaque-mounted anthropomorphic fish are becoming more vocal than humans. In a variant of the McDonald’s Fish McBites commercial, we again visit with the young gentleman in the checked plaid shirt, this time in a beautiful, wood-paneled cabin.
– – It’s hard to find a good petrified cat; most are dried out and decayed, and don’t smell very good. There are aesthetics to be considered when buying a petrified cat, or for that matter, a mummified squirrel; not just any one will do!
– – Something’s fishy here! A few years back in 2009, McDonald’s produced an irritatingly memorable singing fish commercial, with the fish modeled after the singing “Billy Bass” novelty item, an electronic mounted fish that sang and moved about on its mounting. It was the kind of thing that you got tired of after seeing about twice. The earlier McDonald’s fish commercial could haunt you. “Gimme back that Filet of Fish, give me that fish!,” sang the McDonald’s spokes-fish. It took me some time to get that commercial out of my head…(shudders!) 
– – If Skynet designed greyhounds, they would probably look something like these beauties; starkly striking robotic greyhound creatures who are racing for their lives in a Mad Max styled desert wasteland. Both a music video and a commercial, the video features the music of electronic dance trio Swedish House Mafia, who appropriately perform their track, Greyhound, while electronically transformed in the video to robotic dogs who chase a floating orb. Bizarrely costumed guests watch the greyhounds go through their paces while drinking Absolut cocktails served by a waiter in a mask with animal styling.
FOXSYLVANIA 
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