– – Thanks to the Super Bowl commercial for Wheat Thins, we now know what the Big Foot secret agenda is; they want to steal into our kitchens under cover of darkness, and abscond with our snack crackers! The only defense against this tactic is to sit in the blackness ourselves with night vision goggles, and be prepared to grapple with them! It’s the manly and right thing to do…
“Who’s gonna take your Wheat Thins?,” asks the wife of the snack cracker vigilante as he hunkers down to guard his treasure. “I dunno,” responds the guy, “an intruder, the dog, Big Foot, Ted from next door,” he answers as the lights are put out on his request. Momentarily the lights are restored, and we behold the lone defender with his arms locked around a Yeti, who is flailing about! In the ensuing turmoil, dastardly Ted from next door darts in, and makes off with the Spicy Buffalo Wheat Thins! Ted is an opportunistic predator…
The commercial is appealingly cheesy as the “Yeti” is obviously someone in a costume rather than a computer-generated masterpiece, an example of where less can be more…
– – Goats tend to be slighted, and really don’t get the attention that they deserve. One crosses a goat at their own peril…or some might infer from the “Goat 4 Sale” commercial by Doritos featured on the Super Bowl. 
– – Maxwell the Geico pig continues to evolve; he doesn’t appear to exclaim “Wheee!” anymore, plays with electronics, and apparently can even drive a car. He could use some coaching on relationships with the opposite sex, however, passing up an ideal lover’s lane opportunity with a girl who appears to be hot for his porky body.- -Maxwell, it would seem, is more of a techie than a lover!
– – For those not into the almost omnipresent Super Bowl in the U.S. this weekend, the Animal Planet network will air as in past years its “Puppy Bowl” event, complete with new commercials by Subaru of America that target consumers likely to transport canine passengers in a recurring campaign called, “Dog Tested. Dog Approved.” 
– – It’s been said that were videos about cats and pornography eliminated from the internet, there would be little left! While appealing and loved by many, cats can at times also show a darker side. Here we see the lap cat of Bond arch-villain Blofeld. Cats have demonstrated abilities to be efficient predators, as has been recently noted by research conducted by the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service published on Tuesday in the journal Nature Communications. 
– – Children, it is sometimes said, should be seen and not heard. Bigfoot in Oregon, in contrast, has been heard but not seen. People residing near the Indian reservation near the Blue Mountains have reported noises described as roaring and screeching, and sounding unlike anything they’ve heard before from the local wildlife.
– – Witches could use a good spin doctor to handle their bad PR problem; they’re often portrayed as ugly and evil. Hollywood has also put forth a number of doctored and rehashed variations lately on classic fairy tales, with Red Riding Hood one of the most common. In this vein, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters will be coming your way soon, conceived as an action fantasy sequel to the tale of two kids who stumble into a candy-covered witch house in the woods where they are taken prisoner and almost wind up consumed.
– – Harvard geneticist George M. Church created waves recently when poorly-translated comments he made to a German-language magazine led to reports that he was looking for “an extremely adventurous female human” to serve as a surrogate mother for a cloned Neanderthal using developing technology. With fragments of Neanderthal DNA in fossils, Church noted that someday it might be possible to assemble them into a complete genome that could be put into a human egg to create a cloned embryo, which in turn could be put into a human surrogate mother to bring back a human relative long extinct.
– – The Aflac Duck had seemed almost indestructible up to this point…after all, he’s been bonked by soccer balls, whacked with logs, singed by flames, and even dropped into the Grand Canyon. Now the daredevil duck has suffered the unthinkable, involved in an undisclosed accident with ensuing injuries to his wing and beak! In a new series of television commercials, a “doctor” discusses the duck’s disaster in front of reporters, and we only see the familiar fowl as a small fixed image on the screen. 
– – The month-long python purge is in progress in Florida, with about 800 intrepid hunters in pursuit of the estimated 15,000 to 20,000 Burmese pythons who live in the Everglades where they are an invasive species and decimate natural populations. The pythons are elusive, however, and not that many carcasses have been turned in to date. Recommended methods of dispatching them include shooting or cutting off their heads with a machete; the “captive bolt” method is also mentioned if the device can be attached to their heads to destroy their brains as one would a zombie. 
FOXSYLVANIA 
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