– – A new Terminix campaign visually supersizes termites and other household pests, making them visually repellent and a disgusting joy to watch. Rather than the small and largely unseen insects that termites actually are, these are giant, horrific hell-beasts that look fully capable of eating your house and probably anyone inside it as well. They are delivered to viewers complete with eerie horror-movie sounds and sinister voiceovers; Syfy original movie monsters should be half this good! One almost expects to see Ellen Ripley and a squadron of space marines appear to dispatch these loathsome and dangerous beasties, getting slaughtered in the process…the termites even have circular buzz-saw type jaws within jaws!
…fearmongering sells, ‘ya see, as the political world has long since discovered!
– – While we’re certainly not in the business of promoting alcoholic beverages here, the Red Stag Breakaway commercial for Jim Beam bourbon is a dazzling display of a stag on steroids. The big red guy begins his dramatic run in a residential neighborhood, then takes a turn into the city…and talk about burning up the pavement! A trail of flame initially follows the stag and cobblestones crumble beneath his mighty hooves as the stag charges ahead, literally running up walls and on the side of buildings to reach his final lofty height. It’s kind of like The Flash on four legs; what a rush with this scarlet speedster!
– – Hipster Maxwell the pig may have hail damage to his baby blue VW Cabriolet, but he’s so slick that he speedily gets an appointment through his Geico app with an insurance adjuster, and as fellow hail damage sufferer Ted struggles on hold with his insurance company, Maxwell even has time to steal Ted’s girlfriend away, and go boating with her! “Later, Ted!,” chortles the nameless fickle girl. –What is it with pigs, anyhow, that makes them “chick magnets?” Perhaps because they’re both farm animals…
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– – Camels haven’t figured in commercials much since the days of tobacco pitchman Joe Camel, who was, it must be admitted, extremely cool. Now at last we have an anthropomorphic camel figuring in a Geico commercial, who parades around an office interrupting and distracting workers by happily asking them what day it is. The answer to the dromedary’s query is that it’s Wednesday, also known as hump day. Our two amiable musical hosts then appear, one asking us how happy people are that save hundreds of dollars on car insurance; the answer is that they’re happier than a camel on Wednesday…
– – A recent commercial aired by Walgreens shows a family of four returning to their SUV in a wooded area, only to find the vehicle already occupied by a quartet of raccoons engaged in merry mayhem; the rascals are into everything that they find within, one squeezing out suntan lotion from a container, another eating candy cherry slices from the dashboard, a third checking out prescription vials and bandages, and still another comically wearing a potato chip bag over his head! Needless to say, the family needs to replace some items, and Walgreens has over 8,000 stores to fill the bill.
– – We who have gardens know that unwanted animals can invade your territory, and lay waste to the fruits of your labors. For that reason, animal repellents are commonly used, both of the home variety and those commercially made. In a commercial aired by Liquid Fence, they take a rather idyllic-looking yard and divide it neatly in two, protecting part of it with bars of soap, scarecrows, shiny things, an ugly fence, ninjas, and “a Pomeranian (dog) who only works the day shift.” The other half of the yard is protected by Liquid Fence.- – Guess which half of the yard most effectively repels the unwanted wildlife?- -You guessed it!
– – You’ve probably heard certain types of vehicles referred to as “dinosaurs,” or perhaps as “big boats” or “land yachts“- -Well, in a commercial for the 2013 Buick Encore, the crossover vehicle has to navigate around a variety of dinosaurs including a stegosaurus, triceratops, and possibly an apatosaurus as they go plodding along city streets and even trying to park. The message is that the time of “big luxury” cars has passed, and the next big thing in luxury vehicles is small and nimble. This is somewhat ironic in that Buick in its day has made some of the biggest and softest luxury cars around; we also continue to burn fossil fuels aplenty, so perhaps the dinos shouldn’t be mocked. The commercial’s voiceover is by Kevin Bacon, and the music in the spot is “The Guitar” by They Might Be Giants…
– – Pity or perhaps envy William Shatner, who just can’t seem to get away from aliens and other unexplained phenomena; on the new Syfy show Weird or What?, the man best known for playing James T. Kirk on the original 
FOXSYLVANIA 
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