Oarfish, the “Sea Serpent”

Posted October 22, 2013 by vulpesffb
Categories: aquatic, discoveries, rare animal

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oarfish– – Want a real life sea serpent?  Try the giant oarfish, a rarely-seen deep sea dweller of freakish size and appearance, and the world’s largest bony fish.  The oarfish is known to reach a length of up to 27 feet with unverified reports of specimens reaching 50 or more feet.  Although they rarely wash up due to usually staying in deep, open ocean habitats, two oarfish have recently been found along the San Diego coast in California, the most recent measuring nearly 14 feet and an earlier one discovered the same week measuring 18 feet.  The specimens were felt to have died of natural causes, and their weight was estimated at about 200 pounds.

As oarfish can dive more than 3,000 feet deep, sightings of them are rare and they are largely unstudied.  Tissue samples and video footage were sent to be studied by biologists at the University of California in Santa Barbera.    The serpentine creatures are largely thought to be responsible for sea serpent legends and sightings throughout the world…

The Yeti-Bear?

Posted October 18, 2013 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anomalies, controversial, creature features, cryptozoology, research, unexplained, unidentified

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Yeti– – I’m thankful for hairy hominids, without which this blog might soon expire from starvation.  And so, good readers, if you can suffer one more yeti theory, we offer yet another explanation being advanced:  the yeti is a type of previously-unknown, hybrid bear.

British researcher Bryan Sykes, a human geneticist at Oxford, has analyzed hairs from two alleged yetis, sequenced their DNA, and found a 100% match with a DNA sample from the jaw of an ancient polar bear.  Now Sykes is not saying that there are ancient polar bears wandering around in the Himalayas, but only that there could be a subspecies of brown bear in the High Himalayas descended from the bear that was the ancestor to the polar bear.  The Yeti accordingly may be a hybrid descended from two species of bear, an extinct polar bear and a closely related brown bear.

Such a species of bear might behave differently from other known bears, possibly being more dangerous, aggressive, or bipedal…and this Abominable Snowman apparently has a unique ability to cause any video recording device to go out of focus…

The Starburst “Juicy Dragon…”

Posted October 8, 2013 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry commercials, scalies, strange

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starburst– – I hate to see mythological creatures exploited, and one usually doesn’t want to mess with dragons.  But the Starburst “giggly juicy dragon” is not your typical dragon, even among a race of extraordinary creatures.  The dragon in question also seems to dearly love his videos, and apparently is easily entertained by them.  The dragon must live under a rock not to already be familiar with the “keyboard cat” video, but then again, dragons are reputed to at times live under rocks, or at least in caves.  For that reason, the giggly juicy dragon is probably starved for entertainment, or at the very least doesn’t get out much.  The “keyboard cat” apparently can really tickle the dragon’s funnybone, or whatever he may have that passes for one.

In this short video, one candy-chomping man is wondering how they get Starburst candies to be so juicy; lord knows, many poor devils lay awake at night pondering that very point.  Now thanks to this commercial, you need wonder no longer! – – They show the giggly juicy dragon funny videos such as the keyboard cat, he laughs so hard that he weeps tears of joy, and such tears as they flow are collected and put into the Starbursts.  I guess that this isn’t quite exploitative as the dragon gets his jollies that way, although PETA might see the matter differently…

Another Controversial Sasquatch Study…

Posted October 4, 2013 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anomalies, controversial, cryptozoology, mysteries, unexplained

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sasquatch siesta– – A Texas-based research group led by veterinarian Dr. Melba Ketchum, The Sasquatch Genome Project, is claiming that Bigfoot is real, and that they have tissue samples and video evidence to support their claim.  A report by the group claims that Sasquatch is a relatively new species arising from a female Homo sapiens and an unknown male primate that linked up about 15,000 years ago.

Blood and hair samples have been released by the group which claims that they are unlike any known creature.  A 19-second video also released by the team reportedly shows a sleeping juvenile Bigfoot in Kentucky filmed in 2005.  (Pictured:  a supposed Sasquatch siesta)

Mainstream science, however, has greeted the report skeptically.  Todd Disotell, a professor at the Department of Anthropology at NYU, has termed the research nonsense that is unscientifically reported and has not been subjected to peer review.  Previous arguments against Ketchum’s findings include allegations of possible contamination of her samples by the collectors, either accidental or intentional.

And so, the dispute and contention are likely to rage on… 

What Does The Fox Say?

Posted October 2, 2013 by vulpesffb
Categories: aliens, animal presence, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furries, furry, music, strange, videos

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– – There are few things that I both love and hate at the same time, and a video by two Norwegian brothers of the comedy group Ylvis named What Does The Fox Say is one of them.  The video begins with a gathering of fursuited people at a home, and many different species are represented; there is a rather good dalmatian, an elephant, and some birds, among others.  Although these scenes are thought to be a reference to the furry fandom, the brothers denied even knowing about furries when this footage was made.  You then have a few awful moments when you think that you are viewing a video intended for a preschool audience; animals are introduced by the sounds that they make, e.g., “A cat goes meow,” etc.  After several such painful introductions, however, the question is raised, “What does a fox say?,” and we are off to the races, or rather, the forest…

…the forest is wonderful, a tree-bordered area shrouded in the night and rich ground fog; I could party there all night!  We are shown the brothers, wearing mediocre fursuits with facial fox paint. Then there are the dancers ringing the brothers, fox-like but not attired as such, more like the Blues Brothers with white shirts and dark ties…they do, however, have some awesome moves!  I didn’t know a pelvis could move like that. .. anyhow, as the brothers launch into their vocals, we hear as part of the lyrics sounds supposedly representative of those that foxes make, with the camera occasionally cutting to a grandfatherly-type reading a storybook to a child and making those same sounds.  It then becomes a matter of interpretation as to whether you think that the sounds made are intended as a parody of the excesses of electronic house music, or are actually intended as imitative of the variety of sounds that foxes make.  We do make over forty sounds for different purposes, including warning alerts and, ahem, calls to lure a mate…(blushes)

The later stage of the video that I love becomes mystical and spacey, with the vocals continuing to refer to the language of foxes as an ancient mystery.  The performing fox-clad brothers are surrounded by spikes of blue laser light, and arise into the air to be suspended there comfortably.   Is there an alien connection? – – I’ll never tell!  The final stage of the video shows a breath-taking CGI fox who enters at the periphery of the scene then takes center stage, arising to stand on his hind legs and singing scat in a beautiful baritone/bass voice, with subtle supportive choreography!   This jazz-oriented fox is alone worth viewing the video for, and could easily become a break-out star.- – I’d buy his albums, this dude has some major pipes!

You’ll either love it or hate it, but whether for the comedic elements, the furry overtones, or the electronic music, What Does The Fox Say is worth a look and a listen, and can accessed on YouTube.  Just don’t ask me about the ancient mystery thing, please.  These are secrets entrusted to only a few, and I’m bound not to tell…wink, wink!   http://youtu.be/jofNR_WkoCE

cgi fox

Cousin Itt…

Posted September 27, 2013 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, anomalies, bizarre, Brilliant but twisted, furry, television, weird

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Itt– – I would be remiss if I did not include at least one post about Cousin Itt, since who could be more hairy or furry than he? A recurrent but not main character on The Addams Family television series and movies, Itt was a character not created by cartoonist Charles Addams but rather by the producer of the series. The cousin of Gomez Addams, Itt was a short individual completely covered with long, thick hair that completely obscured any underlying features. He typically wore sunglasses and a hat, usually a derby. Itt’s speech was rapid, high-pitched gibberish understandable to any member of the Addams family but not to anyone else.

Cousin Itt did not routinely reside at the Addams mansion, but was a regular visitor there and at times occupied a room, one scaled down to his height and size. Itt was reputed to be highly intelligent, and had a variety of skills and talents, including singing. Itt was quite a lady’s man, and did at one time sire a child, whose name appropriately was “What,” supposedly the first word out of the gynecologist’s mouth when the child, who resembled a tiny Itt, was delivered.

Itt could be the life of any party. My favorite episode depicted Gomez asking Cousin Itt what was under his great mop of hair.  Itt’s response was, “roots!”

S.H.I.E.L.D. Likely to Hold..

Posted September 26, 2013 by vulpesffb
Categories: anomalies, sci fi, strange, television

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shield– – It’s a smart, slick, and stylish show that parallels the Marvel cinematic universe with elements of the Men In Black movies and echoes of The X-Files thrown in for good measure; I’m speaking of the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. series which debuted on the ABC network on September 24th. Television has had shows somewhat similar to this before, but the small screen has been devoid of them for some time, so it’s good to see this new and promising entry, especially one with such a rich heritage and ambitious aspirations.

Although set in the Marvel universe after the events of The Avengers movie, Agents is intended to be a stand-alone series, and can be understood and appreciated without having to have seen the blockbuster Avengers movie. Agents is not a superhero series, but rather more of a secret-agent series, and the players while devoid of powers are elite Level 7 agents with uniquely specialized training and capabilities. In each episode, they must coordinate their efforts to investigate bizarre phenomena and fledgling emergent superheroes, one of which is revealed in the pilot. The agents have wonderful, cutting-edge technology toys.   It’s in the action/adventure genre, with science fiction and even comedy-drama elements.

I may be wrong, but I think that this series will fly, just like the vintage Corvette memorably did at the end of the series premiere...gotta get me one of those!

Flodilocks and the Three Bears…

Posted September 18, 2013 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry commercials, television

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– – Flo of Progressive Insurance is a bit of a fantasy female herself, so she seems strangely at home in a fairy tale such as Goldilocks and the Three Bears.  While meandering as a uniformed insurance clerk in a magical storybook forest, Goldilocks/Flodilocks comes upon a cottage, entering it to find sitting on the kitchen table not three bowls of porridge, but rather three boxed insurance policies!  We really expect this kind of thing from Flo, who lives, sleeps, eats, and drinks insurance…and outside of these commercials, insurance is dreadfully boring stuff, to say nothing of the back-breaking expense of it. Buying insurance is as much fun as paying taxes.   But I digress…anyhow, checking out the boxed insurance policies, the intrepid Flodilocks finds one having lots of coverage, another one having little coverage, and the third one just right !

Just then Flodilocks notices that three anthropomorphic bears are sitting in the nearby family room, and they are staring at her! Things then become more surreal, for the Papa Bear voices, “Hi, yeah we love visitors! That’s why we moved to a secluded house in the middle of the wilderness.” Flo doesn’t quite know what to do with this bit of information, so the video freeze frames on this last scene, and we zoom out as the storybook page turns…

One may basically write their own ending here. – – Do the bears have sinister intent, and devour Flodilocks? Or my preference and darker still, would Flodilocks best the bears in hand-to-hand combat, and devour them?  End scene of Flo patting a very full belly, and fade to black.  The best fairy tales play out in the mind, after all, and can be rather scary…

 

The Kia Hamsters in, “Totally Transformed!”

Posted September 16, 2013 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television

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transformed

 – – The Kia hamsters combined cool, cute, and cuddly in their previous commercials, but they were always a bit, well, rotund. So with a redesign of the endorsed product, it was time to pack the rascally rodents off to the gym and the salon for some serious body sculpting and a fashion makeover.  We are shown the boys working out in a variety of ways, including treadmills, exercise bikes,  and swimming pools.  We see them all in a row under driers at the salon, and when they appear in formal attire and shades at a red carpet Broadway-type opening, the transformation is indeed striking; these guys are sleek, stylish, sexy, and total babe-killers!  There hasn’t been a physical transformation this dramatic since Rocky Balboa went from chump to champ.

Backed by Applause by none less than Lady Gaga, these hamsters have indeed arrived…

The Day of the Squirrel…

Posted September 11, 2013 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television

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Sears has given us a great gift in their commercial, Squirrel Revolt, about the best furry-themed ad that I’ve seen in months! The commercial begins with the fictitious Denskie couple entering their home, where Bob Denskie reveals to his better half that he’s trained those “pesky squirrels” to cut coupons! And so we are shown realistic CGI squirrels, about half a dozen sitting at tiny individual work tables and industriously using scissors. “I love your brain, Bob!,” says his adoring wife. “So do I!,” agrees Bob immodestly.

All is not well, however, in this workers’ paradise, for a moment later one squirrel throws his worktable over and screams:
“Enough! — Your tyranny ends now, you filthy humans!” With that, nuts are thrown, tiny fires are ignited, and the squirrel leader flings himself onto the face of his human oppressor! This is getting good! Bob screams at his wife to get the squirrel off his face, and she obliges by repeatedly whacking him in the head with a golf club! –Ooh, that’s gotta hurt! The Day of the Squirrel is at hand…and it does not bode well for the Denskies.

I, for one, wish to avoid the great and terrible wrath of the squirrel, so I don’t put them to hard labor in sweat shops, but rather feed them peanuts in parks. Perhaps they will remember this small kindness, and spare me in the coming tribulation…