“Earl” from Smalls Food For Cats Commercial…

Posted July 13, 2024 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furry, furry commercials
Tags: ,

Somewhere between the Mayhem guy’s minimalist animal impersonations and a full-fledged, identity-concealing fursuit is Earl the Cat, doing commercial duties for Smalls Cat food. Earl is anthropomorphic, sleeping in a bed, going into the bathroom and brushing his tongue, and yes…we briefly glimpse a litter box in that bathroom, but thankfully do not see Earl using it!

We see Earl engaging in cat-behaviors such as doing a variety of full-body stretches to limber up the old back…but Earl also does humanoid activities such as going on his computer and getting into social networking sites. He becomes visibly excited when viewing web images of chickens…

Yes, Earl has the best of both worlds! Half-man and half-cat, Earl’s thoughts eventually turn as do all of ours to food. Earl is one of the sophisticats, too…no alley cat he! Picking out a container of food from a pantry-full, he carries it to a nice table, where there is candle-lighting, and perhaps a bottle of vino.- – How refined! – -How sweet it is! But in the manner of domestic animals everywhere, Earl puts his face down to eat directly from his plate.- – No utensils necessary!

Wouldn’t you love to have a human-sized anthropomorphic cat to lounge around your place? Sign me up!- – Cuddles and snuggles, anyone?- –Meow!

Comments: 5 Comments

“Feed The Pig” Chase Commercial…

Posted July 6, 2024 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, advertising, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, furry television, television
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I find the “Feed The Pig” PSA commercial creepy, surreal, and oddly disquieting in that it features a human-sized pig, the walking and riding embodiment of a piggy bank, going about with a gaping slot in his head! The pig’s eyes are disturbingly human, while his face is frozen, and plastic-looking.

There is something terribly wrong here! With the gash in his head, the commercial makes me wonder who did this to the pig?! Is there some kind of Dr. Mengele or Dr. Moreau who goes about performing brain surgery on porcine members of the furry fandom, or what? What is the purpose of this mutilation? This pig walks, but is he brain-damaged? For some insane reason, this pig appears happy, and is just going about his business…does the pig even know what’s been done to him, or is he too neurologically-damaged?!

In the commercial, a young man shopping receives a text message that his bank balance is low, spots the pig walking along, and then hastily pursues him through a variety of scenes, the pig at one point riding a motor scooter, riding on an escalator, and in another appearing on a subway. The chase continues through the food prep area of a fine dining facility, and through the restaurant itself. The young man is in hot and frantic pursuit, dodging traffic, and even vaulting over a yoga class in a park to the sound effect of the Bionic Man, Steve Austin, jumping…

Eventually, the guy catches up with the pig outside a residence, tackles him, and stuffs a currency bill into the slot on his head! They are surprisingly polite to one another. “Same time next week?,” asks the dude of the the pig. “Well of course!,” the pig obligingly replies…

Created by the American Institute of CPAs and the Advertising Council in in the U.S., the Feed The Pig series of commercials is designed to get young people saving. I get it…but it’s also nightmare fuel! (*shudders*)

Comments: 3 Comments

“Mayhem” Goes Insectile!

Posted June 6, 2024 by vulpesffb
Categories: advertising, animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, insects
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What’s buzzin’, Cousin? The Mayhem Bee, that’s what! With seemingly no limitations to the number of species that Dean Winters can impersonate, he’s a mighty mite as a bee, attired as always in a conservative suit, and sans makeup. Other animals that Winters has channeled have included a deer, cat, raccoon, St. Bernard pup, bear, and bird!

In this Allstate commercial spot, Winters dons wings, and in his diminutive state buzzes the lady driver of a car in motion, distracting her and shouting “Boo!” into her ear. She looses control, and the car careens wildly before wrecking. Even Winters in his bee-form isn’t immune to the laws of physics, however, winding up mashed against the interior of the windshield. “What a buzz-kill!,” he proclaims…

Some of us, including yours truly, can remember those thrilling days of crank-powered car windows, when stinging insects could enter open rear windows, leaving you no way of driving them out short of pulling over off the road. – – Ahh, the memories of near calamity that this commercial evokes! And three cheers for the very talented Dean Winters!

Comments: 16 Comments

Look, Godzilla!

Posted June 4, 2024 by vulpesffb
Categories: animals, anomalies, classics, furry, reptiles
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I freakin’ love Godzilla, probably because there is still a ten-year-old boy living inside me, and Godzilla Minus One, now on Netflix, plays to that boy. This film is a retro delight, trying to take Godzilla back to his roots, and pity the poor Japanese…they’ve just survived WWII, cities are in ruins from Allied bombings, and now Godzilla is targeting them! The Allies won’t help, either, having too many problems with the Soviets…

So the Japanese are having a really bad decade, but defeating Godzilla is all up to them.  A central character is a surviving kamikaze pilot who had second thoughts, and brought his plane down on an island,  claiming mechanical problems.  Godzilla then attacks the island, but the pilot again escapes death, haunted by guilt afterwards.

While computer-generated. Godzilla is finely-detailed, and looking much more convincing than some dude in a rubber suit, as was the case in early Godzilla movies. The acting is good, and adds emotional content, but I would have preferred more of Godzilla and less humanity. The film is overly-long, and drags a bit in places. Godzilla’s core nature is restored as a force of nature or the consequences of the nuclear age. There are nice touches to his ferocity, too…when he unleashes his lethal breath blast, the spiny plates on his back individually pop up, and glow a lovely shade of blue. Godzilla chomps down on train cars, and even sends a sizeable boat hurling through the air…

I really like this Godzilla, Toho got him right…and while he’s sent to his death in the depths of the ocean at the end, the bubbling of his flesh reminds us that The King of Monsters has great regenerative capacities, and is likely to be ready for a rematch.- – I’ll be rooting for him!

Comments: 13 Comments

NJM’s “Basement Storage” Commercial…

Posted May 23, 2024 by vulpesffb
Categories: advertising, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
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It’s kinda like the “Island of Misfit Toys” from the 1960’s Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Xmas classic…NJM’s “Basement Storage” commercial, that is!

From their “No Jingles or Mascots” campaign, we see a rather remarkable animatronic elephant wheeled in, complete with a well-articulated trunk.  Activating once his human depositor leaves, the elephant wonders if he’s in mascot heaven.  He’s not in mascot heaven or hell, but purgatory might be more like it…the elephant has landed in a basement storage area for mascots unwanted and unused by NJM, mascot-companions for the elephant that include a gorilla and lion… 🙀

Unfortunately, the rejected would-be mascot elephant appears to short out, then repeating his initial query about whether he’s in mascot heaven.  ” Oh boy!,” comments the gorilla…

It’s not easy being robotic…

Comments: 4 Comments

A Cuddlier Robo-Dog…

Posted May 4, 2024 by vulpesffb
Categories: biomechanical, furry, futurism, humor, science
Tags: ,

Boston Dynamics has creeped some people out with their robotic dog intended for security or military applications that looks like it might be a best friend for a T-800 Terminator.– -How, oh how, to make the uncanny Robo-dog more user-friendly, more acceptable? The answer is simple; make a furry out of it!

There!- – Isn’t that nicer? Less menacing now, our Robo-pooch looks almost like something out of Disney! You could be lulled into a false sense of security and might even invite its presence, until it can get within 30 feet of you and perhaps deploy its flamethrower attachment. Then it’s all over except for the screaming.- -Talk about an infiltrator unit! 🤖

Acceptance of robots is all about presentation, after all. So enjoy this little dance of the robot stripped down and dressed-up models. Just ask yourself, do you trust your dog?- – Do you, really? 🙀

Comments: 19 Comments

A Flame-Throwing Robo Dog is Here!

Posted April 25, 2024 by vulpesffb
Categories: furry

Well, I now know what to ask for this upcoming Christmas!. The Thermonator , a flame-throwing robotic dog offered by a Cleveland company, is back in stock for $9,420, which includes free delivery in the United States. It looks like something Skynet could have devised, a companion perhaps to a T-800…

The Robo-dog is eerily reminiscent of the relentless, robotic guard and sentry device featured in the Metalhead episode of Black Mirror. That creation, however, was a fully-autonomous artificial intelligence device equipped with a firearm, and capable of using improvised environmental weaponry. Thermonator is remotely controlled by an operator, and not considered a firearm, thus not federally-regulated. Flamethrowers are banned in Maryland, however, and require a permit in California…local regulations may also apply, so check before you buy…

A 30-foot flamethrower range is nothing to sneeze at, however, and the manufacturer cites applications of snow and ice removal, agriculture, ecological conservation, wildlife control (*shudders*), and special effects generation. I would also imagine that possession of one could deter religious and political solicitors, and door-to-door salesmen. No more hiding, and pretending that you aren’t home when unwanted relatives visit unannounced, either! – – Sic ‘em, Fido! 😸

Oh, brave new world that we live in! I’ll have to be on the lookout for these bad doggies, not wanting to become a crispy critter for someone using it for “wildlife control.” My life isn’t too wild, frankly…sad though it is to admit it. Downright boring, actually… 😿

Comments: 17 Comments

Parasyte: The Grey…Tentacled Horror!

Posted April 13, 2024 by vulpesffb
Categories: aliens, alternative realities, horror, sci fi, television
Tags: , , , ,

I’ve always loved SyFy horror, and the Netflix series Parasyte: The Grey is of that tradition. We’ve seen bits and pieces of like materials before, in such films as Invasion of the Body Snatchers and even Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. You can watch the spiny little pods descend, and their worm-like spawn wiggle their way into people‘s ears, causing their brains to be consumed, and the hosts to become imitations of the people they once were…but with the capability of emanating deadly tentacles from their heads!

There’s something about tentacles that are Lovecraftian, alien, and deeply disturbing, especially when they’re topping off a human body!  These tentacles are powerful, capable of extending themselves to great lengths, moving heavy objects, and cutting through or slicing through flesh.  It‘s 100% nightmare fuel…

But one young woman assaulted by a psychotic slasher has her assailant terminated by an alien, and is unable to be assimilated because the alien expends too much of its time and energy healing her wounds, leaving her brain and humanity intact while conferring alien powers, and kind of co-habiting with the alien in her body. She uses these otherworldly capabilities to work with the humans (Korean) to fight against the aliens, and some glorious tentacled fights ensue…

The special effects are good, and oddly compelling...and who doesn’t enjoy a good tentacled fight, anyways? 🦊

Comments: 10 Comments

High School:  Protection in the Herd Learned…

Posted April 11, 2024 by vulpesffb
Categories: furry, furry perspectives
Tags: ,

What did I learn in High School?  Well, that I was different, and that some people would hate me just for being me!  If you are a geek, a nerd, a dork, non-athletic, or simply a smart kid, you are the natural prey animal of mad dogs, those non-achieving sadists who wander the school environment looking for such kids to viciously torment.  Causing others pain delights them enormously, perhaps distracting them from the reality that their own lives are going nowhere fast.

Fortunately, there are furry applications to life, and associating with others like yourself in an informal herd like zebras can blend individual lines of demarcation, and make it harder for such mad dogs to identify you, separate you from the herd, and attack you.  There is safety in numbers.  Know your species-type, stick with those of your kin, and you will be much more likely to survive the school environment.  There can be safety in numbers…

Because, let’s face it, school is a jungle…

Comments: 5 Comments

“There’s Something In The Barn“ on Netflix…

Posted March 24, 2024 by vulpesffb
Categories: absurdities, alternative realities, anthropomorphic, fantasy, horror, humor, movies, Mythological
Tags: ,

Yes, there’s something in the barn, and it’s not a moo-cow but rather a Norwegian barn elf in this black horror comedy that plays like the movie Gremlins run through National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation…

It seems that a rather annoying American millennial-type family has inherited a Norwegian farm estate where their distant relative died trying to expel or exterminate the barn elf, succeeding only in dying a fiery death. Oblivious to Norwegian traditions and mythology, the Griswold-type family tries to impose gaudy American holiday traditions on the estate in the process of converting it to a bed-and-breakfast type inn…

This serves to make the barn elf angry, as they are creatures that despise change, bright lights, noise, and modernism in general. Only the family’s pre-teen son Lucas understands this, solely believing in the entity, and forging an alliance with the being by giving it cookies. If you are nice to such an elf, they will do service to you such as remove snow and split and stack firewood. Offend an elf, however, and open warfare results, with the mythical beings being able to call in reinforcements of their fellows…

You wouldn’t like such elves when they are truly angry. They are tribal, not adverse to killing, and will use primitive and environmental weaponry. When they stumble into your liquor cabinet, they’ll indulge themselves, and throw raucous parties…

The Americans are guided in their struggles by an expert in Norwegian folklore, who chides them with such admonitions as “This isn’t America. We don’t go about shooting each other in the faces!” A sensible people, Norwegians prefer negotiation.

Cookies are also powerful negotiation chips, if used in a timely fashion. Proper respect for folkloric beings is always in order, too. So be nice to your barn elf, should you have one… 🦊

Comments: 10 Comments

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