– – It’s grotesque, absurd, and surreal, and like something out of a vegetarian’s worst nightmare…the plucked, decapitated, and man-sized chicken in a commercial for Tums Ultra Strength antacids. Standing upright at an upscale outdoor barbecue presumably where it was consumed, this most foul fowl and the man who is now tormented by it become aware of one another’s presence at the same time. The chicken carcass utters what I suppose martial arts challenges would sound like if vocalized by a chicken, and begins to swing its sizable plucked wings at the hapless human, landing at least one good slap. Although caught off-guard, the man responds by dodging and directing a punch at the giant plucked bird…thankfully, we are spared the full fury of the combat.
…the announcer then interjects, “When that chicken you had at the barbecue starts fighting with heartburn, fight back with Tums!” Antacids apparently succeed where fisticuffs do not, for in the final scene, the man and the great carcass are playing nicely with one another at a friendly game of volleyball. Sports is often seen as an outlet for male aggression and a substitute for war, after all…and I do so like to see conflict resolved amicably, especially when it involves the barbecued dead…
– – I hate to see mythological creatures exploited, and one usually doesn’t want to mess with dragons. But the Starburst “giggly juicy dragon” is not your typical dragon, even among a race of extraordinary creatures. The dragon in question also seems to dearly love his videos, and apparently is easily entertained by them. The dragon must live under a rock not to already be familiar with the “keyboard cat” video, but then again, dragons are reputed to at times live under rocks, or at least in caves. For that reason, the giggly juicy dragon is probably starved for entertainment, or at the very least doesn’t get out much. The “keyboard cat” apparently can really tickle the dragon’s funnybone, or whatever he may have that passes for one.
– – It’s a smart, slick, and stylish show that parallels the Marvel cinematic universe with elements of the Men In Black movies and echoes of The X-Files thrown in for good measure; I’m speaking of the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. series which debuted on the ABC network on September 24th. Television has had shows somewhat similar to this before, but the small screen has been devoid of them for some time, so it’s good to see this new and promising entry, especially one with such a rich heritage and ambitious aspirations.
— The Unexplained Files, a new show on the paranormal, aired on the Discovery Science channel in my area August 28th. Running an hour, the series debut was comprised of two half hour segments which essentially represented territory previously covered elsewhere, one a pilot disappearance following his UFO report, and the second a summary of some Chupacabra sightings in Texas…
– – We can remember Chevy Chase’s classic SNL “land shark” routines, and it sounds like a plot for another outrageous Syfy channel movie, but this one’s real…a shark was found on a New York City subway car! I swear that I am not making this up…
— As an episode of the Weird or What series hosted by William Shatner would remind us (Aliens Walk Among Us), some candidates for new and unknown species have been nothing more than the products of creative taxidermy, fueled by the simple public desire to believe. The desire to believe is an incredibly powerful thing, intoxicating and seductive. If we are not careful, that desire can cause us to suspend reason and logic.
FOXSYLVANIA 
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