– – Something wicked this way comes…or at least, something terribly bad is coming. I’m talking, of course, about the upcoming Yogi Bear movie, which promises to give new meaning to the name, Boo Boo.
One questions why a Yogi Bear movie has to be made in the first place; perhaps it has something to do with the nature of evil, or perhaps the Guild of Malevolent Intent is somehow involved. Perhaps those of us who are furry haven’t suffered enough in this life, and our pain must be taken to a new dimension. I will leave such musings to the philosophers, being but a timid woodland creature myself- -.And what possible good can come out of a Yogi Bear movie, you might ask? The moans and sarcastic commentary to be heard out there just anticipating this movie are absolutely delicious!
“The misery that will be ‘Yogi Bear,'” as remarks one commentator, features none less than Dan Aykroyd slumming as the voice of Yogi Bear…and get this, Justin Timberlake will play sidekick Boo-Boo! Tom Cavanagh will play Ranger Smith, a part rumored at one time to be going to Brendan Fraser. The movie will be done in the live action/CGI hybrid style of Alvin and the Chipmunks.
Now Yogi Bear was a one-dimensional character from almost 50 years ago who had no memorable narratives and was at best annoying as he stole countless picnic baskets from human campers in the fictional Jellystone National Park further impoverished by Hanna-Barbera’s econo-animation. Now if Yogi would maul someone for that picnic basket, I might consider it redemptive, but having seen Robert De Niro play Fearless Leader in Rocky and Bullwinkle, I figure I’ve suffered enough…and as another commentator put it, perhaps this movie was inevitable, but it’s still painful to see… 😮
– – We all know that the government does terrible things behind our backs, like the calamitous Plum Island experiment that created yours truly.–Well, it would appear that the Navy has engineered a half-shark, half-octopus killing machine as a super-weapon which, of course, gets out of control as genetically-engineered creatures are prone to do…life would be so dreary if they didn’t!
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