Archive for the ‘furry commercials’ category
April 22, 2019
Watching a commercial of the Chantix turkey camping, I wonder if the vest that he’s wearing is goose down filled, and if so whether the wearing of it isn’t some kind of crime against birds in general. Don’t get me wrong, he does look good in it, kind of like an avian Eddie Bauer. One almost expects to see Elmer Fudd emerge from those woods in the background in his ludicrous hunting outfit, toting a long gun and announcing, “I’m hunting wabbit…but you’ll do!” Then in my crossover fantasy, previous Chantix spokesman Ray Liotta emerges from those same woods, engaging Elmer in a firefight since one corporate spokesman might reasonably be expected to defend another. Ray would easily win the fight, having played tough guys in Mafia-inspired films. Elmer is hardly known as being a marksman…
Other questions lurk, too…since the Chantix turkey represents the slow turkey approach to smoking cessation, might we someday expect to see his cousin, cold turkey? That bird might be imagined as being cold to the point of chattering, and to have really jittery nerves. As we view the Chantix turkey hiking in the woods, we’re sorry that he’s mute. Perhaps in the future he could be given a voice, even singing the Happy Wanderer song as he hikes. With just a little refinement, this turkey could really take off. He even cooks over a campfire, and I’d toast marshmallows with him..we’re all forest friends here!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials
Tags: Chantix turkey camping
Comments: 9 Comments
April 12, 2019
Human-sized anthropomorphic cats can be a wonderful fantasy or a chilling nightmare, depending on the individual’s perspective. Arm and Hammer Cloud Control cat litter brings us one such feline family in a brief recent commercial, with Mama cat relating how in her house things would get out of control fast, especially in the litter room. So she uses Arm and Hammer Cloud Control litter to be in control of the “cloud of nasties” that otherwise might be a problem around a cat litter box. No one wants their bathroom to stink, after all…
The dressed, human-sized cats are both whimsical and surreal, and would probably be an improvement over some neighbors that I’ve had…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Arm and Hammer Cloud Control cats
Comments: 3 Comments
March 26, 2019
In a hokey but charmingly surreal commercial, Johnsonville Jeff is eating his breakfast sausage out in the deep woods when he is approached by a talking raccoon asking about his meal. In the shorter version of the ad, Jeff also interacts with a wolf and a turkey, whereas the longer version additionally adds a squirrel and a porcupine. Most notably the wolf asks the man in the longer version where he learned how to talk to animals. “Books,” replies Jeff in a deadpan fashion, as if there was really nothing remarkable about the encounter; he’s kind of like Dr. Doolittle in hunting garb. They all have a good laugh together at the end, with the wild turkey practically loosing control of himself…
Johnsonville Sausage incorporates employee input in all phases of their operation, including this commercial which was conceived and is starred in by an actual long-term company employee. Since without the animal presence this commercial would consist of ho-hum talk about sausage, we’ll listen to anything if an animal presents it!
Categories: advertising, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Johnsonville forest animals, Johnsonville Jeff and Forest Friends
Comments: 1 Comment
March 18, 2019
For many years now, insurance companies like Geico and Progressive have been producing clever and memorable commercials to tout and lure us to their services. Arriving a bit late to the commercial fray, Liberty Mutual has now produced commercials that incorporate an animal representative in the rather unlikely character of an emu…
These ads invoke the “buddy cop” series of the 1970’s, exemplified by such shows as Starsky and Hutch; Robert Blake’s series Beretta even included a cockatoo as Beretta’s companion.
In the Liberty Mutual commercials, the bird becomes even more of an active partner, riding shotgun with his human partner Doug while wearing aviator sunglasses! Called the LiMu Emu, this bird rocks, although in the Reflections ad he does have a bit of a problem interacting with his own image in a window glass, showing those bobbing, weaving, and pecking behaviors that birds sometimes manifest when confronted with reflections that they consider to be another bird. Partner Doug explains that the LiMu Emu spends so much time time interacting with humans on insurance customization that he doesn’t know quite how to respond to another bird, but that he’ll “figure it out.”
Now I know how to distinguish my own reflection, but do confess to a weakness with distractions posed by shiny things. At any rate, we can rely on the new dynamic duo of the LiMu Emu and Doug, and as Beretta might have reminded us, “Keep your eye on the sparrow…”
Categories: advertising, animal elements, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, television, twisted reality
Tags: Liberty Mutual emu, LiMu Emu
Comments: 5 Comments
March 15, 2019
Subtitle: “When meat eaters ruled the seas…”
(Scene: In a commercial we are shown a Viking longboat on a wine-dark sea, the sky likewise brooding and elemental. But what is this? Only one Viking warrior remains conscious trying dutifully to ply the oars, her crew mates passed out from fatigue or perhaps mead. She is weary, for the hour is late…but fortunately, the warrior has a powerful ally in Jack Links Beef Jerky! She bites off a healthy mouthful (not at all daintily), and is empowered! Bigfoot appears in the stern of the longboat, and begins to lay down a powerful and quickening beat on his massive drum to set the rhythm for the lone rower. She is empowered, and roars lustily, the very model of a Viking shield maiden! A raven perched on the railing joins in the cry, and the sleeping crew begins to show signs of life. — On to victory for Odin, mighty warriors!
We then flash to the office habitat of our modern female warrior, successfully fighting the battle of after-hours office fatigue with her Jack Links Jerky. Empowerment is delivered, and Bigfoot enters the office to break the wand of the custodian’s vacuum, because sometimes only destruction will express the mood!- – Rawrrr! – –Meat will apparently deliver this one through overtime just as it delivered the Vikings past treacherous seas. It is good to know that their unconquerable spirit lives on!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, creature features, furry, furry commercials, television
Comments: 2 Comments
January 28, 2019
No, good readers, we have not turned into a BDSM blog, but are only sharing images of a centaur which appears in a Snickers “Fantasy Night Football” commercial. You see, Matt, the centaur pictured, has gotten his fantasy nights confused…and we’ve all been there, right (–not)? So anyhow, Matt decides to go horsing around, and shows up at a neigh-bor’s house in his centaur’s costume. The only problem is, it’s Football Fantasy night, and not…whatever else it is that Matt is into, ahem! We shall not go there, being a semi-respectable establishment…
The commercial may be seen as an extension of the “you’re not yourself when you’re hungry” Snickers theme, and Matt must be hungry indeed. Perhaps it’s appropriate that Matt is in his centaur suit, since Snickers is named after a horse…and being a centaur does add new layers of meaning into the expression, “going for a ride.”
I’ve always wondered, though…when a centaur is ill, does he see an MD or a veterinarian? There are unanswered questions here…hmmm!
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anomalies, commercials, furry, furry commercials, humor, television
Comments: 5 Comments
January 25, 2019
In this Cox Communications advert, two anthropomorphic pandas are playing a spirited game of ping-pong, complete with appropriate panda grunts and cries…but things are not as they appear, for a mother summons one of the “pandas” to dinner, and playtime is over. He touches a button on a device, shedding his panda avatar and revealing that he’s really a human boy. His friend is likewise human, and furthermore located at a distance away. They give each other a wave and a “later dude” through a projected screen, and return to their mundane real lives…
This is an envisioning of technology of the future, and I find it completely believable. I’d better start saving now for the mobile emitter and massive data plan that I’ll need to shed my human self at will…
Categories: advertising, animals, anthropomorphic, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Cox Communications Panda, future technology
Comments: 3 Comments
January 21, 2019
It’s not easy being a turkey. Apparently, if a carnivore doesn’t get you, a nicotine addiction probably will. Is Elmer Fudd lurking in wait for our feathered friend, or a cancer specialist? Life is full of uncertainties. In light of his questionable destiny, the turkey in our Chantix commercial is keeping active in a variety of activities, and probably maintaining a positive mental attitude as well. This bird has a fuller life than I do…he gardens, reads, mows the lawn, and finds time to float in his pool. I envy him…I don’t have a freakin’ pool, so the wages of poultry must be pretty good. He even puts out a feeder for the birds…but wait, isn’t that what he is?! I’m so confused…then in order to minimize the number of strikes against him, the turkey is wisely trying to kick the cigarette habit with Chantix, a program which allows him to go “slow turkey” as opposed to cold turkey.
Unanswered is the question of whether unsuccessful quitters of his species are the source of smoked turkey; I’ve always wondered. Anyways, I’m glad that this Chantix user is no bird brain…
Categories: animal spokepersons, anthropomorphic, avian, commercials, feathered friends, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Chantix turkey
Comments: 3 Comments
January 2, 2019
It’s hard to think of a less appealing figure in a commercial than Mr. Mucus. We’ve seen bodily organs with minds of their own such as the Myrbetriq bladder and the Halos stomach, but this guy is a bodily product, for crying out loud, basically animated phlegm! He’s even a revolting green color, so we think less than kindly of him, and basically want him gone, ASAP; it isn’t easy being green, as Kermit the Frog observed, and Kermit had redemptive qualities. The repulsiveness of Mr. Mucus is why we are glad to see some insult or harm come to him, and will remember any product that can further that end. You’ll never see stuffed likenesses of Mr. Mucus flying off store shelves.- – It’s snot gonna happen, ahem! (laughs maniacally)
The brief ad begins with a man asking his wife where her cough is. The woman responds that she’s fine because she took Mucinex DM, which sent the cough far away. – – How far away? We are then shown Mr. Mucus in the jungle, complete with a safari jacket and pith helmet. Coming across a gorilla, he asks the ape if he’s seen a nice woman with a cough, to which the simian responds Hulk-like by smashing Mucus-boy with a mighty fist that sends him flying swiftly out of sight. No tears are shed on Mr. Mucus…sad!
Mucinex DM, the voiceover then tells us, releases swiftly and lasts 12 hours, not 4, leaving Mr. Mucus to bungle in the jungle…”Well, that’s alright by me.” (Jethro Tull).
(“I’ll write on your tombstone, I thank you for dinner/This game that we animals play is a winner.” —Jethro Tull, Bungle In The Jungle)
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: Mucinex "Mr. Mucus"
Comments: 2 Comments
November 6, 2018
I’m no stranger to Worry Monsters; we’re intimate associates, actually. It’s just that I never imagined them looking quite as they are depicted in commercials for POM Wonderful juices. Managing to look both disturbingly human and grotesquely cute at the same time, these monsters look like rejected prototypes from a Disney/Pixar movie, or perhaps toys for children that you hate. They’re covered in pastel-colored fur, have distorted or exaggerated facial features, and monster appendages like horns and pointy ears. There are scarier monsters in real life American politics, nudge-nudge, wink-wink!
The underlying notion seems to be that as you get older you worry more about your health, so you turn more to things like running in the case of the male profiled, or yoga in the case of the female. But if you drink POM Wonderful juice that boasts ingredients like pomegranate juice, you’ll worry less about your health, and your Worry Monsters won’t be either as bothersome or as potent. The blue furry monster pursuing “Jake” in our commercial is winded, not able to keep up with his running, and the only fear that he can cast to his charge is over chafing. “Julie’s” purple-hued yoga monster bewails the fact that she can’t spend quality time pouring over the Internet with her host over diseases that she might have. These are ineffective, underutilized monsters with issues, you see. Perhaps they need to see Dr. Phil; that might make for memorable viewing…
…one might fantasize about the Mountain Monsters crew plugging one of these critters during a search for Bigfoot; heck, they’d probably wear their hide as a vest to the hoots of their fellows over the pastel shades. And when it comes to inner demons, I’ve stopped fighting with mine…we’re on the same team, now! So eliminate those free radicals, people, and remember to VOTE! It’s never been more important…
Categories: absurdities, advertising, anomalies, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, commercials, creature features, furry, furry commercials
Tags: cute creatures, Worry Monsters
Comments: 7 Comments
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