Archive for the ‘furry commercials’ category
November 19, 2012
– – Don’t the bugs seem to get bigger each year? And there’s something marvelously surreal about going along in a big RV with a human-sized blue bug riding shotgun up front! I could get into this scene…well, this is an ESPN RV marketing campaign commercial that features New Orleans rookie Anthony Davis traveling in the RV together with ESPN commentator Mike Breen and Hugo, the team mascot. They are all very comfortable in one another’s company, a cozy group…thank heavens for cultural diversity!
The driving commentator is conversing with the big blue bug when, Thwack! – – A standard-size bug hits the windshield, leaving the predictable bug splat on it. Thoughtfully, the commentator offers his condolences to the mascot, and then turns his attention to the problem of the bug smear. The wipers are tried, which only smears the bug splat…then the washer fluid is resorted to, which makes the smear worse. Needing to take care of business, the driver then advises the bug mascot that there are napkins in the glove compartment, and asks the big blue insect if he would reach out, and try and grab some of the big pieces of the bug remnants! I think we’ve all been there, don’t you?
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry commercials, insects, strange, television
Tags: commercial insects, Hornets' mascot Hugo
Comments: 4 Comments
November 9, 2012
– – You’ve probably seen at least some of Geico’s “Happier Than” series in which we are shown people basking in the glee of improbable situations, such as Gallagher smashing watermelons at a farmers’ market and Christopher Columbus with a speedboat. Two comfortably scruffy folksingers called Ronnie and Jimmy then appear to draw the parallel that people saving money on Geico insurance sure are happy, happier than say, a witch at a broom factory…
My fave in the series involves two anthropomorphic antelope standing in the savannah equipped with night vision goggles that easily enable the duo to see a lion lurking in the tall grass. “Look who’s back…again!,” quips one antelope to the other. “We can see you, Carl,” an antelope addresses the lion. “Yeah, we can totally see you!,” confirms his companion.– So much for the stealth advantage! “Have you thought about going vegan, Carl?,” they ask the apex predator, and laugh. This could totally disrupt the food chain…and if the lion sleeps tonight, it will be with an empty belly!
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, fantasy, furry, furry commercials, humor, television
Tags: Geico antelope
Comments: 3 Comments
October 23, 2012
– – I, for one, worry about extremely large whiskey-swilling birds of prey terrorizing the neighborhood; they might, for example, lower already-depressed property values, to say nothing of discouraging tourism.
We are introduced to such a creature in Jameson Whiskey’s third commercial in a series that celebrates the supposed exploits of the brand’s founder. Now the “Hawk of Achill” is an enormous fowl with a habit of terrorizing the island’s inhabitants, and worse yet, stealing Jameson’s Irish whiskey! It’s somewhat reminiscent of the Giant Roc, and appears like something which might have been celebrated in an episode of MonsterQuest. We catch only glimpses of the hawk, but are told that it has carried off both the mason’s daughter and whiskey. Now Jameson as portrayed will do just about anything to recover a barrel of his brew, so he stows away in one of his own barrels, and is carried off by the hawk to the great bird’s nest, where he encounters the comely lass who’s another victim of the bird’s thievery. While we are not shown how Jameson accomplishes the feat, we next see the alcohol avenger back home at a feast for the townspeople where the hawk has been prepared like a gigantic Thanksgiving turkey!- -It’s bird and brew for everyone! And hawk leftovers for the next several weeks, undoubtedly…
Thus be it ever to alcoholic avians! The commercial has a rich atmospheric feel, and an appropriately haunting musical score of Danse Macabre…
Categories: animals, fantasy, feathered friends, furry commercials, television
Tags: Hawk of Achill
Comments: 2 Comments
October 3, 2012
– – In another of the Degree Chain of Adventure commercials, three average guys are equipped with “meat ponchos” and then have a pack of wolves released upon them! “Sweat is like tasty gravy to a hungry wolf,” explains survival expert Bear Grylls.- –Well, only one of the three meat poncho wearers is still standing alive and dry at the end of the commercial, and it should come as no surprise that he’s the guy wearing Degree deodorant!
I think we’ve all learned something here today…and while I’m glad the wolves got some fresh food, wouldn’t wearing a meat poncho be disgusting, to say nothing of costly?–And wouldn’t Meat Ponchos be a great name for a punk mariachi band?!
Categories: absurdities, animals, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: animal law, Bear Grylls, furry, Furry Commercials
Comments: 3 Comments
October 1, 2012
– – Bear Grylls is a British survival expert and adventurer who hosts the show Man vs. Wild on the Discovery Channel. He also does a number of commercials for Degree deodorant, one of which shows us a poor subject pacing in a primitive “perpetual motion simulator,” which is really a large wheel set into motion by the movement of the guy walking inside it. “Feelin’ fresh and dry!,” assures the hapless subject as he moves at a leisurely pace. The deodorant’s protection is activated by movement, ‘ya see, so to kick things up a notch, the survival expert tosses the wheel walker a trout, and a bear is introduced in pursuit behind him!- –Now things are getting interesting!
“Help me!,” screams the subject with the bear in hot pursuit. “Keep running!” is the only advice he is offered by the survival expert who calmly walks away…
Categories: absurdities, animals, furry, furry commercials, television
Tags: animals, Bear Grylls, furry, Furry Commercials, meat ponchos
Comments: 3 Comments
September 24, 2012
– – I’m not a big fan of country music, although I am a fan of Volkswagens, owning a Jetta myself…and it just so happens that a currently-running VW commercial features a Jetta, Johnny Cash’s music, and an English Bulldog! –Well, it seems that in the commercial the bulldog swallows his owner’s car keys, but fortunately the Jetta’s keyless technology system allows you to operate certain features of the car as long as you have the keys in your proximity. So even with your keys in your pocket (or dog), sensors in the car will detect your arrival and unlock the door as you grab the handle. Once inside the car, it can also be started without the keys in the ignition just by pushing the brake and then a button to start the car!
The Johnny Cash song used dates back to 1966 from the “Everybody Loves A Nut” album, with the first stanza as follows:
“Well he’s not very handsome to look at/Oh he’s shaggy and he eats like a hog/And he’s always killin’ my chickens/That dirty old egg-suckin’ dog.”
Beauty, it’s said, is in the eyes of the beholder…and I’ve heard canines called far worse than “…dirty, old egg-suckin’ dog.” To illustrate responsible pet ownership, the owner drives directly to the animal hospital, although he does use the dog again to lock the car and roll up the windows! Surely the bulldog would approve, although not of being called “Shirley.” Just don’t expect to hear country music coming from the windows of my Jetta!
Categories: animals, furry, furry commercials, television
Comments: 2 Comments
September 21, 2012
– – I’m glad to see that the Kia hamsters have developed a taste for the fine arts, showing their trademark killer moves in an 18th-century opera house in their newest commercial for the Soul “party wagon!”
The current campaign is called “Bringing Down the House,” and features a ballet performance and breakdancing to the Axwell remix of “In My Mind.” It’s kind of an electronic dance rave type thing which is played to an audience of upper-crusty aristocratic types who seem to eventually tap into the energy and get into the groove…
The hamsters are good at what they do, BTW…sales of the Kia Soul are up 13% this year!
Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
Comments: 2 Comments
September 18, 2012
– – If he were any cuter, people probably wouldn’t be able to stand him…the Fluzone Hedgehog, that is! Now there aren’t really many vaccines that have their own animal mascots…no tetanus shot tarantulas, for example. But this little guy makes sense, since you get a shot from a needle, and he’s covered with quills. But you really won’t mind, because he’s even going to a barber shop to get his quills trimmed…the idea is, ‘ya see, that Fluzone uses smaller intradermal needles!
He’s an anthropomorphic hedgehog, talking a little…and he even adjusts his little red tie! He’s such a cute little dickens that you want to hug him, even if it hurts! One just wonders why he goes to a hair salon rather than an animal groomers, but maybe he’s trying to make time with the stylist…and I’ll be surprised if we don’t now see more furry hedgehog avatars and stuffed hedgehogs out by Xmas.
Categories: animal spokepersons, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
Comments: 3 Comments
September 7, 2012
– – Be brave, and enter by commercial into the dream world of Progressive’s iconic “Flo,” an already otherworldly lady. We are shown in the commercial the racing car bed that she sleeps in, and are witness to her dreams, appearing in a cartoon-like “thought bubble” appearing above her head. Flo, perhaps not surprisingly, counts insurance discounts rather than sheep in her sleep state.
Then the parade of discounts is interrupted, and we are shown a dream deviation of a chipmunk family reunion! They are as cute as the dickens…but alas! A dastardly squirrel steals the chipmunk’s nuts! Despair not, however, for in Flo’s dream, the squirrel is apprehended, and winds up in “Squirrel Jail.” Even in her dream state, Flo exults “Justice!,” and we are shown a victorious chipmunk holding aloft a liberated nut! Wonder what a therapist would make of this one…
But don’t ‘ya just love happy endings, even though reunions tend to be nutty?
Categories: absurdities, animals, anthropomorphic, furry, furry commercials, television
Comments: 4 Comments
August 27, 2012
– – Man, the hunters hate this commercial with a passion, calling it anti-gun, anti-hunter, and even “sacrilegious.” I could tell you other things they’ve called this ad, but we strive to be mostly family friendly here. It’s the Red Bull “Hunter” commercial, alternately referred to as “Animal Killer!” In the commercial, a hunter that could make Elmer Fudd look good goes into the woods, wearing a ludicrous outfit that includes a feathered cap, and whistling a tune. There’s a bit of a commotion in the woods that we don’t see, but it undoubtedly involves a reversal of fortunes…
…next, the hunter is high-tailing it out of the woods, effortlessly pursued by a wild hog or boar. It’s an easy chase; the buck-toothed hunter loses his gun then his pipe, and trips over a rock and falls flat, the boar not even breaking a sweat. The hog, looking mildly amused, taps the prone hunter extracting his face from the ground on the back with his hoof. “Hey, animal killer!,” says the hog, who continues to offer the hapless Nimrod a Red Bull energy drink. “Then what?,” asks the clueless mighty hunter. “Then run faster!,” patiently explains the victorious hog.- -Red Bull, you see, gives you wings!
I haven’t seen such a masterful rout and lambasting of a hunter since Bugs Bunny’s many humiliations of Elmer… 😉
Categories: animals, anthropomorphic, Brilliant but twisted, furry, furry commercials, television
Comments: 4 Comments
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